posted November 08, 2007 01:50 PM            

this is a two part question and I admit that the first part (which I'm particularly interested in) hasnt anything to do with astrology. But I wasnt sure where else to post it, particularly as the second part is linked to astrology, so I hope it's ok in this part of the forum.

1) I'm sure we've all noticed that some couples just look incredably similar. Almost like brother and sister. Who knows maybe you're or have been in such a relationship where people always commented on how much you look like your partner. Or one of your friends happens to be in such a relationship.

What I'm extremely curious about - when you first met your (mirror-image)partner were you instantly attracted to them physically/ aesthetically? Or was it more of an instant trust feeling/feeling of emotional attraction?

I'm asking because I've read quite contradictory research about this phenomenon: Some researchers have come to the conclusion that we find people particularly beautiful/physically attractive that look like us (i.e. a narcisstic attraction).

However, Lisa DeBruine a psychologist from St.Andrews University has found in her research quite the opposite ('Same face builds trust not lust')She claims that we find people that look like us and are of the same gender more attractive, but if they look like us and are of the opposite sex...we'll find them less sexually attractive (sort of an inbuilt mechanism to avoid inbreeding)But if this is true...why do so many couples look like each other????

So i would be extremely interested in your experience? Instant physical or emotional attraction?

2)Did those look-alike partners have any similarity in their charts e.g. same ascendant, aspects to ascendant etc. etc.etc.

posted November 08, 2007 01:59 PM            

And well, I m gonna just move away from astrology from this one and try to answer it with more conventional psychology Lol!

People usually get into a relationship for growth and prosperity and well, similar facial features are helpful in creating a more kinship bond (as you said... more of a "brother/sister" thing) rather then sexual sitmulation and attraction.

Infact:
http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=1564091

quote:

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In the context of a long-term relationship, where both prosocial regard and sexual appeal are important criteria, facial resemblance had no effect. In the context of a short-term relationship, where sexual appeal is the dominant criterion, facial resemblance decreased attractiveness.

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posted November 08, 2007 02:20 PM            

Heartcakes,

'....i hadn't noticed! but i was instantly attracted to him.'
So it WAS instant physical attraction for you or just an 'instant' familiarity feeling? And what about his first impression of you? (There'S this book by Suzi Malin 'Love at first sight' and she is very much into the 'looking alike=instant physical attraction'-theory. sometimes she'S going a bit overboard in her examples)

posted November 08, 2007 02:29 PM              

umm.. well. with my guy i was just totally instantly attracted to him. know what's weird is in some ways he looked like my mom did when she was young.. but i am just realizing this.. it's kind of interesting! i didn't think we looked similar as i said and i didn't even think about it until this girl pointed it out. but i do see similarities now.

but yes, strong attraction. not like i wanted to do him, but i just loved him. i know that is vague, but it was on so many levels!

posted November 08, 2007 04:57 PM              

Anyway, I've noticed this a lot. I think people like people who look like themselves if: a)they're narcissists or b) the person reminds them of their family members. Someone else pointed this out on this thread.

It also could be that we were instinctually programmed this way to make us mate within our clan. Survival of the fittest kind of applies, because the people in your clan have survived and they would be more accepted, as would your offspring. If they and your offspring looked like the rest of the clan, then they would more likely feel affection and care for it if something should happen to you. Look at animals, and you'll see this still goes on. The black sheep and the odd-looking runt are shunned.

But that's just a weird hypothesis I just fandangled...no scientific basis or studies that I know of prove it.

posted November 09, 2007 02:23 AM            

One of my best friends was in a long-term relationship with someone who looked like her in male form. Same facial features and hair color (even the style was similar). I don't know his birth info other than he was an Aries Sun; she's a double Aries.
From what she told me, there was a strong physical attraction on both of their parts from the start. I don't know if there was also an emotional familiarity.

In my sister's most recent relationship, she and her boyfriend looked a lot alike. Same bone structure and similar coloring. They even looked the same age, & she's 8 years older than him. I don't know his ascendant, so maybe they have something in common there, but their Sun and Moon are in different elements: she's an Earth Sun/Air Moon; he's a Fire Sun/Water Moon.
He was very drawn to her from the start, in every way. She was attracted to him and felt comfortable with him emotionally too. They were living together only a month or so after their first conversation.

"For some reason this reminds me of that Seinfeld epi where Jerry dates someone who looks just like him! (Was it him or George?)"
lol, that's when George was dating a woman who everyone thought looked like Jerry. I was reminded of that episode when I found out that my SO's best friend & I have the same Sun/Moon combo & opposing ascendants.

posted November 09, 2007 02:33 AM              

On a completely un-astrological note, I'd like to add that some people believe there are such things as "bloodlines".

Meaning that the people you feel "familiar" with, are of the same "basic" genetic makeup as yourself. (that might explain why we are attracted to people who "look like us" )

I personally experienced this phenomenon when I visited my half -sister for the first time a while back. The mood was of complete psychic understanding and comfort, even though it hasn't been a long term relationship. Either way, the "familiarity" factor was there..Definitely!!!

As to how that relates to astrology, I'm not quite sure, BUT, I do recall a trivia factoid, that stated that 33 or so of America's past presidents were related to King George of England....

posted November 09, 2007 04:16 AM              

quote:

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And they probably adore you because you look like one of them.

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posted November 09, 2007 09:34 AM            

I think there are three ways for one person to resemble another.

One is for persons A and B - to have similar surface features - such as eye color, skin tone/color, height, weight.. hair color etc.. As an example take - Britney Spears (back in the day) and Jessica Simpson.

Another is for persons A and B to have a very similar bone structure/facial structure/facial proportions. Here you can have people who are very different in "surface" features.. like a blue eyed person with black hair and a blonde haired person with brown eyes.. who would look very similar - purely based on facial structure.

The third is for A and B to seemingly have absolutely nothing in common, on a physical level.. and yet appear very similar.. simply because of facial expressions - the way they smirk/smile/stare/wink/ticks they have.. These are similarities in body language and habitual movements.

Now, back to the question lol.. when a person reminds me of myself – as in the first example.. on a surface features level.. I feel no attraction or trust.

When a person looks like me as in the second example.. I am definitely attracted, but don't necessarily feel trusting of them. Astrologically, I think Venus/Mars/Asc conjunctions account for this.

When a person looks like me as in the third example, I feel very trusting of them and there is a sense of familiarity but I'm not necessarily attracted. This is more like Sun/Moon/Mercury conjunctions.

It has to be a combination of facial structure (like the second example) and expressions/body language (like in the third) for me to feel both familiar/trusting *and* attracted. This happened with my current "bf".. we both have Aries/Capricorn/Sagittarius/Pisces in our charts – in different places though. The closest conjunctions at 0' are his Mars conjunct my Moon - Cap.. and my Sun conjunct his Moon - Aries.

posted November 09, 2007 05:04 PM              

------------------
ASC: Virgo

posted November 09, 2007 06:25 PM              

One of the things it said is that there are 12 (or something) elements/components to the immune system and we each have 6 (or something). Apparently we instinctively can instantly sense if a person is a good mating partner for us via scent. The greater the difference in our immune element set up, the more we are attracted; for example: if I had elements 1-6, I would be most attracted to someone who has elemnts 6 -12. The theory is that the greater the spectrum of elements between the two of us, the wider choice our offspring have - ensuring strong healthy children. Its the whole survival of the fittest - like how a female wombat will travel miles to be bonked by the srongest guy, so that her kids will have the greatest chance of surviving.

On the show they tested the theory by having a bunch of girls sleep in a t-shirt, which was then put in an airtight container. The, male, host was then asked to smell each specimen/tshirt and rank them from the most to the least appealing smell. It turned out that the smells he likes the most had the least amount of elements in common with his own. (Again it's like an anti in-breeding mechanism).

Another thing the program stated was that the saying that couples end up looking like each other has a verifiable explanation - subconciously we mimic the facial expressions of our partners; so much so that are facial muscles mould themselves similarly.

Another tid-bit of info was that results from a large group of women showed that most of the time almost all women preffered boyish facial features on a man; however, during ovulation (or whatever it's called) the same women felt more attracted to more masculine features. This was tested by the placing the women in front of an image of a man's face that could be altered by like a joystick - either more masculine (heavy brow/thick neck/ wide jaw, which are all signs of the influence of high testosterone levels) or less masculine (boyish). During non ovulation!! the women made the face right down as boyish as possible, but during ovulation the same girls pushed up the joystick to create apeish caveman looking dudes!!

And completely off the topic - according to the show, if a women cheats it is generally during ovulation (I hope that is what it is called - i have no idea about girly stuff!!)AND, and this is the most shocking bit, 1 in 10 children are not the fathers!!! Im not sure if that is anywhere near true, but if it is - wow!!

posted November 09, 2007 06:47 PM            

I think I watched a similar show. Thank you for posting that Jason - very interesting!

I completely agree on the smell thing. Some people just smell right..

posted November 09, 2007 09:07 PM              

quote:

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The weird thing is that I instantly *felt* like one of them. With the sister too. Another brother of their family who I've recently met, I feel the same about. He's always staring at me since we met (the other brothers I've known for over 10 years so I think we're just used to each other by now) and it's just so... familiar. I adore all of them in a sisterly way - but with my bf there is the sexual attraction, which I don't have with the others.

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That's so cool that you feel so comfortable with them. I bet it's partly because of the resemblance.

I wonder why he keeps staring at you...? do you think it's because of the resemblance?

I heard about the ovulation thing. Women want to partner up with more feminine men because they would make better fathers, but they want to sex up the masculine men. The theory is the more masculine a guy's bone structure, the more likely he will fool around and abandon the family. The reason the women want to have sex with them is because since the men have such high testosterone, they're more virile, read: more likely to impregnate her. I suspect this also has to do with the offspring surviving: A more masculine man would be able to survive better in caveman days of yore, so his genes would provide that for the offspring.

This is somewhat true. High testosterone is associated with criminality in males. Therefore, a male with high testorone would be more likely to leave and cheat, because they have a higher sex drive due to the high testosterone.

Of course, not all males with pronounced eyebrow bones, a wide jaw, etc. will act this way, but the majority do.

Personally, I don't go for feminine males...probably a big mistake.

PS -When they say "feminine," they mean not pronounced brow bone, and not a square wide jaw. So, the feminine looking guys really are probably not what you're thinking.

posted November 10, 2007 12:51 AM            

Growing up, my father figure (not my actual dad) was very masculine but I love him to pieces. He was a great dad but not feminine looking (or effeminate in behavior) at all..

I tend to associate guys who look *strong* with being awesome fathers.. lol Because they can go out and do stuff with their kids and make it fun - like my 'dad' did.. plus.. they seem protective.
But at the end of the day - what makes a great dad/person/partner is a personality thing.

Though as a first instinct - I have never ever felt like a guy who looks feminine would make a good dad. I'm not sure how that research works.

And testosterone.. OMG.. I feel the opposite way about that as well.. I think guys with high testosterone are very comfortable with their own masculinity.. They don't walk out or play stupid games.. They're very *there* and very *real*- straight forward/honest etc..
Think The Rock.. he's sooooooo sweet. As if he'd leave his wife and kids.
What about Arnold Schwarzenegger? Lol
I bet you anything you'll find a million examples of strong looking guys who made awesome dads. You'll most probably find the opposite as well.