Author
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Topic: Okay, seriously
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SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted December 19, 2007 04:47 AM
Hi all,right, ive gone from having a great two weeks to suddenly it all falling apart. My guy friend and I kinda got together but it didnt go too far. Then last night he was like I dont want a relationship but I love you and want to be your friend. Im like dammit! One minute theres the possibility of something which makes me happy before christmas now i just feel lonely. Sparkling IP: Logged |
blue moon Knowflake Posts: 1344 From: U.K Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 30, 2007 06:31 PM
New Year's Eve tomorrow, maybe things will start to perk up.
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pidaua Knowflake Posts: 67 From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 30, 2007 06:48 PM
It sounds like he got scared. I'm sorry, I am sure you mentioned it, but what is his sign?IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 02, 2008 10:53 AM
Hey all,well developments have happened. He's a pisces (with aries venus and mars.) 8 March 1985 (Tel Aviv) I was like okay, we'll be friends who care about each other and i'll move on. Well New Years Eve i get a call from him to say do i wanna celebrate with him and our friends (I was surprised to hear from him as I thought he was in spain still (on holiday). So yeah i go out with him and lets just say I end up back at his. The whole night we had chatted and there was definite "vibe" going on. I was trying to distance myself a bit but it wasnt working. So we slept with each other. Then hes like, "you know this isnt a relationship right?" So we had another conversation as before. I guess we are friends who are sleeping with one another. And to be honest, i am not totally sure of my feelings for him. Only when im with him it feels natural to kiss and be with each other. Sparkling IP: Logged |
pidaua Knowflake Posts: 67 From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 02, 2008 11:11 AM
Friends with benefits ... IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 02, 2008 11:47 AM
yeah!I guess it's a bit of fun. I'm learning to go with the flow..plus having friends who love you can only be a good thing. IP: Logged |
Lara unregistered
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posted January 02, 2008 07:18 PM
It's ok til you fall in love with him.. then friends with benefits suck BIGTIME IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 02, 2008 08:24 PM
They won't necessarily fall in love.If you were both happy with this, I'd say go for it. But you don't sound very comfortable with the situation Sparkling. I mean it depends on how well you know the person and whether you're on the same wavelength. Having Venus in 11th (friends) opposite Pluto 5th (sex), I can understand doing this due to affection/wanting to get closer and maybe Plutonian curiosity as to how the person is like in a sexual way. I'm not judging it, and I believe it can work if the people truly are friends and they really *get* each other. Not so much if it’s a flaky or short-term friendship - maybe that’s my Pluto talking lol However, if you don't want what he wants, and it makes you uncomfortable, don't just go along with whatever, purely because he initiated it. On a side note, Pisceans specially '85 ones - with the Aries influence.. prefer a take-charge woman (at least in my experience).. Your posts sound a bit like you'll just do whatever he likes – almost like you either don't know what you want exactly, or your desires/wants aren’t very important to you – because his desires are a priority. If that's the case, have a think about what it is you *want* out of this and bring the situation around to something that makes you happy. I don't think going along with someone else's flow is the best idea. If you can build a flow together that works for both of you - then great! IP: Logged |
Aphrodite unregistered
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posted January 02, 2008 09:59 PM
Smells like he's young thing named Mr. Unavailable . . . He's so friendly, so nice and you two get along so well, but then he disappears for a while and then whizzam! - he calls to say Hi in that sweet voice and invites you out again. SparklingSag, this "relationship" will intensify the loneliness you already feel inside. In the end you won't have anyone else to blame but yourself. Please run for the hills now while it's still relative early. Cut your losses and accept the lessons of the karma already created with this boy. Take some time and live up to your lovely screen name, "SparklingSag" no less! I am sending a positive prayer your way and wishing you a very Happy New Year! Start 2008 with a healthy beginning . . . Kind Regards, Aphrodite IP: Logged |
lalalinda Moderator Posts: 1120 From: nevada Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 02, 2008 11:44 PM
quote: SparklingSag, this "relationship" will intensify the loneliness you already feel inside. In the end you won't have anyone else to blame but yourself.Please run for the hills now while it's still relative early. Cut your losses and accept the lessons of the karma already created with this boy. Take some time and live up to your lovely screen name, "SparklingSag" no less!...Aphrodite
pearls of wisdom IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 06:41 AM
Hey,thanks for your insights. Hmmm, i'm not entirely sure I am doing just what he wants. I am happy to yell at him or tell him when i think he's not being fair. (I have a leo moon) But you are right that i have to be careful. He tells me he loves me/cares for me but its on his terms. I refused to sleep with him the first time because I was worried about the same concerns you have. I explained this to him and he understood and it didn't go any further. But then of course it did, but a bit further down the line. yeah. Friends with benefits...am not sure how i feel about that to be honest. Whilst my saggie side likes a certain amount of freedom, i dont like knowing its not exclusive. Sparkling IP: Logged |
blue moon Knowflake Posts: 1344 From: U.K Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 12:38 PM
Interesting. Mars and Venus in Aries like you said ~ conjoined, and trine Uranus. And the Pisces Sun is Square Uranus. But standing out like a beacon is Mercury Square Neptune. Sums it up for me. IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 02:30 PM
Bluemoon- what do you mean??IP: Logged |
blue moon Knowflake Posts: 1344 From: U.K Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 02:54 PM
Mercury square Neptune mean? He's sending out mixed signals. He doesn't sound like he is thinking what he's doing. He is confusing the situation. He is being unfair, but probably doesn't realise it. Most of all I would be wary about taking his word at literal value. IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 03:12 PM
I looked it up on cafe astrology and it said something about people with this deceive others without realising it (something to that effect)I also looked up venus libra (me) with a venus in Aries and it totally described his style. Fast paced a bit selfish. Thats kinda how i found him, and a bit impatient. Afterward he was good at the cuddling. But yeah, my venus in libra prefers it to be fair and a bit more slow. I had a relationship with a scorp who had venus in saggie, now that was bliss! Sparkling IP: Logged |
pidaua Knowflake Posts: 67 From: Back in AZ with Bear the Leo Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 04:20 PM
SS, I never had the friends with benefits thing because it hasn't ever been my style. Not that I haven't played the field, especially after I left my ex-fiance. To me, even though there isn't a firm "tie-down" it would feel like I am being tied down and, like you said, without a real relationship or it not being exclusive. Even when I played the field, sex was only a part of it with a couple people and even then it was hard for me because I felt sex would make the dating relationship too close but I also felt that I should experience it too. It lost the luster quick and I went back to my just having a great time with friends self. I still dated and then I met my DH. I don't think you'll fall in love with this guy, in fact, I think you are going to fall completely out of like with him. Saggies are ruled by this greater conscious (even though we don't outwardly show it all the time) and the idea of being in a relationship that really is not a relationship, but the person proclaims love, yet no ties, yet a friendship, yet more.. Hell, that is way to convoluted for us and that, in itself.. ties us down. .. Better to be tied down to someone (or WITH) someone that is worth being tied to .. At least that is my opinion. Watch him.. soon he will start asking where you are, what you are doing..etc... he is the insecure one, you hold the cards. Yes, letting yourself fall into the trap will increase any lonliness you have but I also think it will play on you because you'll discover you have no real love for him and what we thought we loved... when games are played.. most Archer girls will turn away with disgust. Does that make sense? IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 04:36 PM
Pidaua,yes, yes and yes. You managed to put into words what I couldn't put my finger on. There is the definite possibility that i would fall out of like with him, i do not like games on any level and i need to respect a guy in order to fall in love with him. I'll have a think a bit more about what you said. But somewhere within, what you said rang very true. Sparkling IP: Logged |
Xena unregistered
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posted January 04, 2008 01:09 PM
SS, A Libra guy did this to me a couple of times (I'm Aries) and it just didn't work because I kept getting PO'ed and thought there might be the possibility of there being something more than there was. Some women can cope with that sort of stuff fine, I myself can't. IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 02:30 PM
quote: Some women can cope with that sort of stuff fine, I myself can't.
I didn't want to start a debate but I had to say this .. It really shouldn't be about coping. I mean if you feel like you have to cope with something - like it's some calamity, then obviously it's not a situation you like/enjoy or desire to be in. If one of you is already in love and wants a serious relationship with the other - of course it won't work. Sparkling, if this is how you feel –like Aphrodite said, it will probably only make you feel worse.. But if the people involved are friends - genuinely *friends*, not pretend friends with a 'serious relationship' double agenda.. and they both want to go there - as I said above out of curiosity or simply because they want to get physically closer - I don't see why it would feel like 'coping' for either of them - like it's something negative to 'endure'.. instead of something positive to experience. IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 04:13 PM
Saw him tonight. He was completely normal! as if nothing ever happened. But we were in a group situation where we couldnt really talk. But yeah, i left feeling alright but a bit insecure too.Sparkling IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 04:19 PM
Oh, i just read susan millers forecast fro Janurary (does anyone else think she is good?credible?)She wrote this re: Sagitarius In regard to relationships, the year could start off on a difficult note. Pluto in Sagittarius will be opposed to Mars in Gemini, a rather explosive, domineering aspect. You are likely to be taken back by the difficult impasse you find you find yourself in, but you need to make sure you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater on this incident. There is some danger that you would come on too strong and lose the relationship altogether. Fortunately there is no full moon nearby, which would have only intensified already hot emotions. If you can, back off the issue and see if you can resume talks later in the month. Interesting....(not that i live my life by horoscopes but i found it interesting) IP: Logged |
OzMeg222 Newflake Posts: 0 From: victoria, australia Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 04:37 PM
The guy that totally ripped out my heart last year is just 3 days older than your pisces. He's got a leo moon though and to make it even more confusing he's pisces asc as well! At the start he carried on exactly the same as you described, I actually cringed when I read that! Run run as fast as you can!IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 04:42 PM
quote: Oh, i just read susan millers forecast fro Janurary (does anyone else think she is good?credible?)
Yes! I love Susan Miller's interpretations. They're the only ones I find accurate. About your guy - a good friendship, a relationship, even an acquaintanceship (sex aside – but more so if you are having sex) needs to be built on trust imo If you did feel safe and trusting of him you wouldn't be posting the way you are.. so honestly, I think it's best you abandon this situation. :edit: I don't see this as a dramatic situation - as the poster above. I mean sure, some fisheans and other male (and female) specimens are a-holes - Some are not.. Not everyone is exactly the same, simply because they sound the same. Either way, I think this is a part of life. Not everyone has the morals of Superman.. Some have the morals of a starving hyena, but that's ok.. Your heart can only be ripped out if you don't take these things with a grain of salt. You're a fire girl like myself and I have a strong feeling you're not dramatizing this either. Some things work out, some don't. If it doesn't, no worries! Your Saggi optimism will be right back to light up the next day with a much better guy - I'm sure lol No need to run anywhere. He isn't the Undertaker.. and if he *was* I'm sure your Saggi arrows would take him anyhow IP: Logged |
SparklingSag Knowflake Posts: 192 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 05, 2008 01:27 PM
Hi,Coral - I hear ya! I agree with you..if it works out, it does and if it doesn't i'll get over it. I'm feeling better about it all, after all theres not much I can do other than continue being my sparkly self. Susan Miller - I find her to be spookily accurate. For example she said i'd be heading to foriegn lands/people sometime end of jan/feb. I am heading to India as part of my job (I am doing a Masters at University but have a part time job with the university too.)I am going 30th jan. So Miller was right! Sparkling IP: Logged |
Xena unregistered
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posted January 06, 2008 08:48 AM
PS - CF - I was feeling bitter when I posted this LOL:********************************************* Quote: *I didn't want to start a debate but I had to say this .. It really shouldn't be about coping. I mean if you feel like you have to cope with something - like it's some calamity, then obviously it's not a situation you like/enjoy or desire to be in. If one of you is already in love and wants a serious relationship with the other - of course it won't work.* Well, we all have different experiences, and perhaps some of us are more prone to self-flagellation than others. What can I say? ********************************************* Um, yeah...(smirk) Wish I'd left my gob at home now. IP: Logged |