posted January 03, 2008 12:05 PM              

Its been almost 2 months, and I still have my good days and bad days. (I'm a Pisces, I guess my emotions just run too deep.)

So anyways, just when I think maybe I'm getting a little bit better, he starts messaging or calling again. One time it's to threaten to cause me problems, next time he's drunk and he says he felt so safe and happy with me and I kept him out of trouble.. And that I am the greatest person he has ever met. Then he'll deny everything he said the day after that and say it's great to be single..And that he doesn't love me anymore because he feels he is a different person now. Then he'll disappear for a few weeks and call again wanting to stay friends coz he's used to having me in his life.. Then he's back to threatening.. Finally he'll say :OMG you're still not over me? Grow up!! I've moved on so should you.

I really do not understand this person. I am still not over what happened because he never regretted it, apologized or gave me a reason for what he did. And the fact that he is telling people how easy it was to get over me makes me question our entire relationship and the love we shared.

I know it is detrimental to my well-being to allow this person to keep contacting me, but I keep picking up hoping for some regret on his part.

posted January 03, 2008 12:15 PM            

I'm not into game playing, but it seems if you make a firm stand about not letting this person back into your life, this person finally might realize what they lost.
It sounds as if they are not totally ready to let go of you. You don't sound pathetic!
We've all had issues with relationships or we wouldn't be on this board talking about them and trying to gain insight into what makes a person tick (astrologically, that is)!

posted January 03, 2008 12:19 PM              

Please if you have time to look at his chart I would really appreciate it!

posted January 03, 2008 12:41 PM            

I have to do stuff at work right now, but i will look when i get home and write something later tonight.

posted January 03, 2008 12:44 PM            

I just got out of a very longterm relationship myself in the end of October for reasons I'll elaborate on later. And I honestly thought while I was with him, I would marry the person (and you thought you sounded pathetic? Teehee.) So up until December my heart was soooo heavy, like all I wanted to do was sleep and not have to wake up. I even had all the hope in the world that we would reconcile. It my Piscean sister, my saggie friend, and an incident involving the ex at the club that made me none-the wiser...so to speak.

Its now during the New Year that I really truly feel at peace with myself again. I'm not sure how long this will last and some people think I might regress back to missing my ex but I don't feel that will happen. Hell, there's even a new guy I'm into who gave a gift at Christmas..heehee . I'm not saying I don't or never loved my ex but I think for reasons mentioned earlier, I was able to switch off my feelings for him and just live my life.

Though, I always attributed this type of quick detachment to my airy Gemini venus and logical virgo moon....not so much my cancer sun. I know of ALOT of cancers who've in the past had trouble moving on from old relationships, even if they were the ones who broke it off.

posted January 03, 2008 12:49 PM            

He's putting on an act. He's likely quite conflicted about the whole thing, and doesn't know how to act appropriately. His Cancer side loves relationships, but his Aries side likes the freedom to do whatever.

I think what generally happens with Cancers is that they break up with you, and then they don't want anything to do with you again. It hurts them too much to stay in contact (or they think that they'll be hurting you by staying in contact). You've got an odd one trying to show some Aries bravado. Cancers also act tough when they feel vulnerable. His Cancer side is still nostalgic, though.

posted January 03, 2008 01:17 PM            

Don't know if it would cause you too much hassle in other areas of life but maybe changing your number could help?

posted January 03, 2008 01:26 PM            

WP: that is true but the catch is you have to be that same person that you are trying to attract. There is where the work comes in. I am happy that you understand and don't jump to another guy to make you feel better, it shows strength and you don't want to hurt another person, Karma is real. I have no doubt that when your through you will be a tower of strenght and what your Cancer does not understand is that if he wants to come back later its gonna be even harder bc of who you will have developed into, he's really gonna have to bring his A game, if your interested in him at all at that point..Can't keep a good woman down..

posted January 03, 2008 01:32 PM              

So what's your story? And how were you none the wiser?

posted January 03, 2008 01:52 PM            

quote:

---

You said I should illustrate that I am acting normal? Can you please ellaborate? Meaning I should ignore him or tell him that?

---

You should tell him that. He's trying to keep you from embarrassing him. He's implying that he's better than you by making fun of the fact that you're not over it yet. He needs a reality check. It wouldn't be normal for you to be over it so quickly. It's not normal that he expresses no remorse. His proposition that you should be over it is idiotic. If either of you should be condescending towards the other it should be you who is condescending towards him. Not the other way around.

posted January 03, 2008 05:50 PM            

Looking at his chart-his sun square his moon-could explain some erratic behavior.
Moon in his 8th house-his emotions are secretive-even hidden. Mars in his 1st could also explain him being in your face a lot. His venus squares his saturn -he feels unloved deep down, i think. It sounds to me as if he could never get enough from one person. If he has "moved on" as he tells you, why then bother with you? His saturn also in his first house indicates he feels restriction in some way.

His mars conjunct his saturn also-again-this could explain why his behavior seems aggressive yet restrictive at the same time.
It could almost be a compulsion.

You should do what feels comfortable for you. Maybe you should call him on some of his behavior (?). Tell him it is not logical. You are being logical IMO, he is not. And you are being honest about your feelings. His chart has a push, pull type of energy about him.

Almost forgot:
venus opposite his neptune,
mars squares his neptune AND
neptune squares his ascendant.

posted January 03, 2008 06:29 PM            

In an earlier post she gave his birthtime and place-

July 5, 1980
10:30 AM
Banbury, England.

I just looked at it in astro.com.

posted January 03, 2008 11:00 PM            

Whalepiscean,

What I don't understand is why he's felt the need to be so cruel to you. You seem like you have a good heart and were willing to give him everything....I just don't understand. I'm sorry this has happened to you but I must agree with the others: please don't even satisfy his mind games and just be firm and do not let him back into your life. With the way he's acting, I will go further to say not to accept his calls at all. Its obvious that contact with him is what is bring you back to the "self-destructive" mode and if cutting that off is part of what would help you be in a better place...I say DO IT.

And my story? Pfft. Where do I start? An innocent thing I did when he wasn't around was blown out of proportion. (and I SWEAR on the innocent part too). Huge argument insued along hurt feelings, hurt pride, etc. He has a sag mercury along with moon opposition mars, so when he's really really mad he has the tendency to say heated things he normally wouldn't mean, and then feel horrible about it later. Which is why normally when he's seething, and I mean seething....I leave him alone. Because I know when I didn't leave him alone at the end of 2004, huge fight happened...he said some things to hurt me and then I refused to speak to him for a long time because my confidence with him was shattered.

But this time, I couldn't leave it alone this time, because this was my reputation in question we were talking about here.

It was so bad that we were basically back to the way things were in 2005 when we didn't speak to eachother for the longest time because of his hot saggitarian-mercury mouth. So my confidence and trust in him were shattered once again......something that hadn't happened in a LONG LONG time. And Along with the help of other little problems, things were basically became f****d and we split. Even though I avoided him and stuff for a while and didn't hang in places he'd be at, I honestly had hope that we would reconcile.........as we had done so in late 2005. But then one night late November, my friend dragged me out to the club and he happened to be there the same night. I won't go into detail but he really disrepected me; I was totally invisible to him. But it also seemed like he went out of his way that night to show me he moved on...or to hurt me. Needless to say, that was not a good night for me and I felt insecure.

But I guess I realized by December that I couldn't be the way I had been since October otherwise my life (including school and work) would slip away. I went out with my friend on her birthday, danced with a few guys. I even went to her party the next day that her mother threw for her and it felt I dunno...."welcoming". That's where I kinda met this new guy I've had a crush on. I'm not sure where its headed right now, but I'll go with the flow....he's a sweetheart though.

posted January 04, 2008 06:40 AM              

Just a few updates. So I wrote him an email that said everything you all told me. Basically I said that my reaction to everything that has happened is normal, and that his is not normal because he shows no remorse. Then I wrote that Karma is real and he made a big mistake when he wronged me and specifically said he does not need my forgiveness. But I also wrote that I will pray for him, not wish him ill, because I am better than that. Finally, I wrote that I can never be his friend again because he does not deserve my friendship. I told him he lost a love that was very real, and one day he would realise that.

But before I sent it, I got a call from my best friend. Apparently her husband had seen my ex and fought with him, so now my ex was causing them both problems. My friend begged me to call my ex and tell him to stop bothering them so I did. He didn't pick up, then sent a message saying: I dont want anything to do with you or your people. I said that was funny since he is the one that wanted to be friends in the first place. So he replied saying he hated who I was as a person, so why would he want to be friends with me anyway!! (And I hadnt sent the email yet so now its like Im the one dying for his friendship and he doesnt want it - LOL my Leo moon does not approve!)
He kept messaging and messaging, stuff like he is better than me, and that he would have sacrificed a lot to marry me, because his familyname is more well known in our country (For Godsake I hate that cr*p. Who cares about a family name? Doesnt make him a better person!) and that I should stick my finger up my a$$ etc etc SO MUCH GARBAGE AND FILTH. So I replied saying it was nice to know that when he was down he'd call me for support but when he felt strong he insulted me. And again he replied with insults saying who gave a sh*t and to MOVE ON FOR GODSSAKE!!