Author
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Topic: Can a Sag Moon Override a Cancer Sun-Asc emotionally?
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sinderlou unregistered
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posted January 03, 2008 07:48 PM
I have been dating this cancer man for almost a year and a half. It has been very intense and I have never felt so close emotionally to anyone as I have this man.I feel like I want a commitment from him but when I have brought this up lately he is uncomfortable. He would rather live with someone than marry them. He has commented to me that he does not believe in marriage and that commitment is in the heart and doesn't need to be on paper. I have never dealt with this type of situation. I have never felt so deeply and at the same time feel that it will never be as deeply as I would like it because he won't go all the way in showing his love for me by being married someday. I am starting to feel torn up emotionally because it feels like rejection though he says he is in love with me. Any ideas on how he can understand that I feel like I will never feel 100% love and security because of his beliefs. He is Cancer Sun, Sag Moon, Cancer Asc I am Pisces Sun, Pisces Moon, Libra Asc I am wondering if the Sag Moon is overriding the Cancerian.........any suggestions? IP: Logged |
NAM unregistered
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posted January 03, 2008 09:03 PM
I am so disgusted with how things work in society and the "marriage license" which most confuse with a license to do whatever they please because they already are in a "secure position" that I totally understand where he is coming from;Like him I also do beleive that marriage should be in your heart and you don't need a piece of paper to show your devotion, love and loyalty to a person; is about wanting to be with the person and share a life, not about securing a transaction.I guess you are going to have to choose and see what is more important to you, being with someone you love for him or having the security of a status within society(it is your call)... I would also make sure that you tell him how you feel and let him make the decision, don't become one of those girls were you will push the man to do something he really would not have done unless you push him to. JMO Cancer sun and moon , sag asc.
Edit: I got so into the rest of the scenario that I didn't realize you just wanted to know if the sag moon was overriding the cancer moon. I don't know the "right astrological" answer to that but as a Cancer moon and sun I can tell you that all I beleive is in "real, pure, unconditional love" and I still don't beleive in marriage. So, take it for what is worth.
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sinderlou unregistered
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posted January 03, 2008 09:16 PM
NamThanks so much for your input......... I am not the type to push anyone to believe or feel what they do not believe and feel. I am just not sure how to judge his love. I know by marrying someone that you know that is total devotion by doing so. I mean I would sign a pre-nup and all so its not like I want what is his. It just makes me feel like I am not good enough to make such a commitment to when I have never had any guy to this to me. I have said to him that if he doesn't believe in that type of commitment that I will meet him halfway and that we can date but I do not want to live with him. Now, that bothers him. We live several miles apart and can only seen each other once or twice every two weeks. I just don't want to be with some one for years of my life and giving of myself. My mom used to use that old cow phrase: "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?" Or I can imagine someone asking, so how long have you been dating? and responding, "Oh, 20 some years now" ...... IP: Logged |
BLKFox unregistered
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posted January 03, 2008 09:49 PM
I'm VERY interested in someone with a Sag Moon; Taurus Sun, Merc, Saturn, & Uranus with Libra rising... That Sag Moon seems to require a certain amount of freedom. I have Venus in Scorpio, so I am struggling with that... Yes! I believe a Sag Moon always makes it's presence known...it always reminds me of that song, "Gentle On My Mind", by Glenn Campbell. If you're not familiar with the song, GOOGLE the lyrics, & you;ll see what I mean... people want to be free whether they take advantage of the freedom or not... If you press your need for marriage, you'll ruin what sounds like a beautiful relationship...give it & him time... What placement for both your Venus and Mars signs?IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency Newflake Posts: 0 From: Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 03, 2008 10:02 PM
Why does it bother you that much? I mean.. the reason I'm asking is, I know a Pisces/Leo couple where the girl is the Pisces. Even though they've been together for a very long time and have a child, she has never wanted to get married. It works for them though and they're happy.I mean I understand the "it's a piece of paper" perspective.. Maybe it's a culture difference between you - or a difference in family background? Like maybe you were brought up in a family that put a lot of emphasis on marriage.. whereas his family did not.. or maybe his parents are either divorced or unhappily married? For instance I've been through 4 divorces with my parents. My dad's a quadruple Aqua and Mum has a Gemini Moon - 'nough said lol so I can't say I'm keen on marriage. I don't think you should take it to heart so much. His decision might be based on experience and completely unrelated to you. You are both double water, which indicates you love each other deeply. Marriage or no marriage - wouldn't change that. IP: Logged |
Lara unregistered
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posted January 03, 2008 10:17 PM
Question:Have you ever seen a couple that got happier after marriage? enough said
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enchantress299 Knowflake Posts: 188 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 01:47 AM
I have a close guy friend who has a Sag Sun/Cancer moon, and I have a former love interest/acquaintance who has a Cancer Sun/Sag Moon.Now the Sag Sun/Cancer moon is a riot and a half, keeping everyone laughing as a way to keep everyone at arms length... Except for the one Scorpio girl who stole his heart freshman year of college. They broke up at the end of sophomore year because she was smothering him and wanted marriage too quickly. However, really all they had was a break, because they ended up back together the year after we graduated and are still together. This past summer when I went home I asked him when I was going to get the wedding invitations. He promptly replied: "I'm too young to get married." And he then used every excuse in the book as to why he couldn't get married to that very same Scorpio girl. However... There's no denying that he's still with her to this day. They were apart for 2 and a half years and they still were never really apart. Then there's the Cancer Sun/Sag Moon love interest I had for a very short while. He's a friend of a friend, and he also keeps everyone laughing to keep everyone at arm's length. He's a very sweet, disarming guy. For a short while we had an interest in each other, and I even gave him my number and all that. I wasn't terribly surprised or upset when he didn't call. I kinda figured it was his nature. A couple weeks later, I found out from our mutual friend that this guy had 4 (or was it 5?) other girls he was dating on the side (except he wasn't just "dating" them, if you know what I mean ), and apparently he was keeping them all a secret from each other and was doing a darn good job of it (up until that point). So, obviously, no big loss for me. Here's the thing: The guy had just gotten out of a pretty serious long term relationship with another girl (in which he HAD remained monogamous). I sincerely doubt he was ready for commitment, and also, on the whole, he's a good guy, who, though he does try to protect himself by remaining distant, it's pretty obvious that he feels a lot more deeply than most people think. If he had been attached to any of these girls, I think it would have been a different story, because that's the Cancerian nature. It's not so much that one "overrides" another. It's more that they combine in their own unique expression of the vibration. Cancers naturally want to protect themselves. Saggys do this by distancing themselves through a false sense of "freedom," but really, if we look at the first story of the Sag and the Scorp, we'll realize that though he has his "freedom" he makes the CHOICE to keep coming back to her, which ultimately means he wants to be with her. Isn't that what we all want? Just someone to WANT to be with us? Not because they have to (which is what the marriage license implies) but because they want to be. I've learned that's what their thinking is. It's not about the piece of paper, because they know that relationships can hold together without it, and they also know that marriages (and relationships) can fall apart even with that piece of paper. Give him his sense of freedom, because ultimately, that's what will keep him coming back to you. But if the marriage issue is a deal breaker for you, then maybe you should consider that this is not the person you want to be with? Marriage is a pretty big issue, and if it's one you can't agree on, then you're never really going to be happy. That's your decision. IP: Logged |
BLKFox unregistered
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posted January 04, 2008 01:52 AM
Very well put, Enchantress!---Thank you.IP: Logged |
Sarai unregistered
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posted January 04, 2008 02:30 AM
I'm a Cancer Sun with Gem ASC. My boyfriend is a Taurus Sun with Sag rising. He wants to get married and asked me to move in with him a month after we met. That could be his Cancer Venus/Mars conjunction. Anyway, I said no for months but eventually moved in with him.Now he wants to get married. I love him to death but just don't like the idea of marriage. To be frank, I'd have rather kept my separate apartment and just did the sleepover thing. I miss my own space, even if I didn't spend much time in it. We also have an age gap but it's more personality than anything. My boyfriend, however, was raised to believe that a strong couple should get married. So a bit of nurture in his case. I am very happy living with him. The weird thing is the sex got better when I moved in with him. He's very possessive and jealous but in a very endearing way. It totally turns me on so I might acquiesce and get hitched. Sarai IP: Logged |
blue moon Knowflake Posts: 1344 From: U.K Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 06:47 AM
Not having spoken to him I can't know if he really is against the concept of marriage, doesn't want to commit to it yet, or isn't sure you are the right person for him. "It's just a bit of paper" is a cliche that gets trotted out a lot and doesn't reveal much about what someone really thinks or feels. If you can't work it out or he won't tell you (given time) then that says a lot. IP: Logged |
sinderlou unregistered
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posted January 04, 2008 08:24 AM
BLKfox- I googled the lyrics. Yea, I see what you mean. People don't want the pressure of feeling tied down in anyway and thats what keeps them attracted to you. In response to your question: HIS Venus: Gemini HIS Mars: Leo MY Venus: Taurus MY Mars: Pisces CF- You might be onto something about his family life. For a cancer dude to dislike his mom the way he does seems odd to me. He says that she was domineering and that it was her way or the highway and he felt sorry for his dad being married to her.......ehmmmmm Lara-OMG, that comment was a hoot. Yea, most people I know that are married make it seem like a drag. Enchantress299- Thanks for explaining your experiences with this sign combo. It gives me more insight. Sarai- Thanks for your comment! Sounds like things are working out great for you and your guy! Wish you the best! Blue Moon: Your comment was........"Not having spoken to him I can't know if he really is against the concept of marriage, doesn't want to commit to it yet, or isn't sure you are the right person for him." These are the questions in my mind that are driving me crazy. I cannot get a direct answer from him. He seems annoyed when I am very direct. Its like he wants me to feel everything and sense everything and I do for the most part. I even said long before I knew about his bad family life with his parents that, something in his past gave him negative beliefs on commitments. The thing is, is that I know he isn't interested in anyone else. He tells me this. But am I to have a long distance relationship forever???? I feel like I need something to hold on to. But then I question myself because I think its just my strong water signs that make me feel this type of need. IP: Logged |
blue moon Knowflake Posts: 1344 From: U.K Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 06:32 PM
~ He says that she was domineering and that it was her way or the highway and he felt sorry for his dad being married to her~Therein lies the answer. IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer Knowflake Posts: 95 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 06:35 PM
NO WAY NO WAYIP: Logged |
blue moon Knowflake Posts: 1344 From: U.K Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 04, 2008 06:39 PM
I'd take that one down Paddy Power . IP: Logged |
Sarai unregistered
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posted January 04, 2008 06:56 PM
sinderlou,But it wasn't always rosy. And it still isn't. We do argue about a lot of things, mainly about settling down the "proper" way. He uses my age against me, pretty much telling me that I'm ready to get married but I just don't know it yet. He can be condescending that way and it annoys me. I don't think getting married will change anything between us. When I look at the big picture, I appreciate his committment (I've never been with a guy who has been so into me) to our relationship, but him actually TELLING me how I should feel turns me off. And, as you can see, he's really pushy. Sweet as can be, but pushy. It's interesting how certain aspects in a chart alters a person's behavior and personality. So you know, your Cancer guy sounds like he really is in love with you. And also, us Cancers are really slow to trust. While we probably know already that we do trust you in our hearts, it takes our brains a little longer to figure it out and match the two. IP: Logged |
Aphrodite unregistered
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posted January 04, 2008 09:34 PM
if marriage to the one you love is what you feel is right in your heart, i say follow it . . . hard as it would be . . . there may be someone out there who feels the same way and is the one waiting for you . . . may be this relationship is testing how you really feel about marriage, and puts a stronger emphasis on it for you . . . Good luck! IP: Logged |
blue moon Knowflake Posts: 1344 From: U.K Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 05, 2008 05:06 AM
"...I don't think getting married will change anything between us......."It tends to be when people expect the opposite of that they run into trouble. IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75 unregistered
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posted January 05, 2008 05:41 AM
I understand both sides of this. Firstly I get it that you could take this as a rejection because you feel like if someone loves you, they'll go *all the way* and marry you. I'm a grand water trine including Scorpio moon and Mars in Pisces, and Saturn in Cancer in the 7th house,so I get where you're coming from. Secondly yes it is just a piece of paper, but it's also about what that piece of paper means to you. Nothing much will actually *change* after you get married, but to one person it might mean love and security and to another it might feel like their freedom is taken away. Mr Gemini talks about marriage a lot... but usually it's in the context of "I don't believe in marriage". I'm never the one to bring it up, because if I did then he could freak out and then I would feel hurt or rejected. It's all so silly really. Just last week he mentioned he'd like us to have a baby, like later in the year... which obviously indicates a commitment... but yet no marriage! Jury's out for me on the whole issue really. Relationships begin and end... new relationships come along... How much of this is about ego, on both sides... ? look at your parents' relationship not just to each other but also to you as a child... how did this form your current beliefs and expectations? And your boyfriend's? Are there trust or intimacy issues that arise because of those early relationships? How we encounter the parent of the opposite sex can influence how we relate to members of that sex as adults... My parents got divorced when I was three and my father left, therefore I have looked for security from men who won't leave me... sounds a bit simplistic but I believe these things do play a part. IP: Logged |
alvarella777 unregistered
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posted January 06, 2008 04:45 PM
SINDERLOU , I am a Cancer Sun/Sag. Moon myself – and I dealt with the complexity of this constellation a lot, trying to “analyze” myself and all.In fact, Cancer-Sun and Sag-Moon form a quincunx by signs (in my case: a very tight one) – so there’s indeed some “imcompatibilty” involved. Sometimes this feels like a heavy internal struggle between security- and freedom-needs - and it might be that a very sensitive person (like you may be) can see this from the outside. I guess that ENCHANTRESS299 has observed this very (!) well. ENCHANTRESS, you wrote: quote: Now the Sag Sun/Cancer moon is a riot and a half, keeping everyone laughing as a way to keep everyone at arms length.. .
. quote: (…) on the whole, he's a good guy, who, though he does try to protect himself by remaining distant, it's pretty obvious that he feels a lot more deeply than most people think .
. quote: Cancers naturally want to protect themselves. Saggys do this by distancing themselves through a false sense of "freedom" .
All this describes the energy very (!) well. I wouldn’t call it a “false sense of freedom” though. People like us DO have a strong need for security and acceptance. And our sense of freedom is nor “false” – but pure! To us, security is more a matter of trust, respect and integrity – we take things like that VERY seriously! Sag. Moon feels “nurtured” by being allowed to be free or: by not being confined by too many rules. If somebody trusts him/her in THAT way, he/she feels truly loved. And since Moon is the leading planet of Cancer … this is even more important for a Cancer Sun with a Sag. Moon. We feel secure and loved when we are allowed to be an individual. And we would nurture your individuality a lot, we’d spur you on to be “the real you”. AND we despise of ANY pretences! Actually, we can even be embarrassed by too much (romantic or emotional) glamour and “show-offs”. (In fact, I always feel kind of embarrassed when I attend a wedding ceremony with friends or sth like that … I always find these celebrations cheesy and somehow ridiculous … these rituals are so “wordly”, they don’t even come close to the miracle of true love … just helplessly embarrassing rituals in my eyes …) In any case: You can TRUST your Cancer Sun/Sag. Moon! You really can. This is anything but the pretending type. Trust me. ;-)
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sinderlou unregistered
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posted January 07, 2008 10:09 AM
alvarella777Wow! What insight since you have the same sun moon combo! I do feel I can trust him. And you are right about the senstivity thing.I have made comments to him about how I believe he feels internally and he just looks at me as if he has seen a ghost. I say to him things like, " I know you love me and you want to be with me but you feel like your freedom will be taken away" I sense the freedom thing heavily. I try to explain to him that just because I am a luvey dovey cuddly warm and fuzzy type of partner (pisc sun/moon lib asc) that doesn't mean I have to be with you constantly and that you aren't free to be who you are. Just as long as I have some assurance. Thats all I want. alvarella777- Out of curiosity, what is your asc? IP: Logged |
alvarella777 unregistered
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posted January 07, 2008 08:05 PM
Hi again, Sinderlou.Yeah, probably you do have "the right feeling" for that guy then. ;-) MY ASC is Scorpio, btw. IP: Logged |
sinderlou unregistered
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posted January 08, 2008 10:05 AM
Your main placements are very close to his. In your opinion, do you think that a person with this type of astrological influences is better off not being married and that living together is actually a real commitment then?IP: Logged |
Quinnie Moderator Posts: 780 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2008 02:46 PM
I understand completely. My guy is a Pisces with a Saggitarius Moon and we live together for the past 3 years and have 2 beautiful babies but he doesn't seem to want marriage. I fully understand freedom because I have an Aquarian Moon but being a Libran can't help but question FREEDOM FROM WHAT? Marriage is a big deal to me. I want it. I want my guy to make the commitment to show his commitment and celebrate it. If it's not a big deal and people don't need the paper and the ceremony blah blah then why not do it? The thing is it is a big deal and I'm very patient with him. I know when the time is right it will hapen. Move in with him if you are not objective to that. You will get to know each other in ways you never thought possible and if things are great it will just feel natural for him to marry you when the time is right. My man and I moved in together when I was pregnant so we never got to experience the full joys and sharing each other and being independant and just living together, exploring each other. I wish we had have because we would have had so much fun! Don't buy into the fairytale that it has to be a certain way but don't give up on marriage and let him think that it's easy now to move in and thats it. Yopu will know when to nudge things that little bit further as I am doing now when it feels comfortable for both of you. I would advise anyone who is having relationship problems or decisions to make to have a go at the HMI INSTItute foundation course in HYpnotherapy. or buy the book about emotional and physical sexual people. People are made differently. Whatsd called the E and P effect may help explain alot of things and also give you more insight into how your partner views commitment and love matters. Here is a link. http://www.hypnosis.edu/streaming/ Whatever you do. Do rush and go with it. You are a Pisces thats a breeze for you IP: Logged |
sinderlou unregistered
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posted January 08, 2008 02:57 PM
thanks so much Quinnie for your interesting perspective! I really felt what you were saying as well Its just this little gnawing feeling inside that you can;t have the 100%. You know that is what you are giving and 99% doesn't feel good enough. Thats how I feel all the time like that 1% is missing. I feel if I hold out on living together that eventually he will cave in and say ok here is an engagement ring or something....... I know he loves me. i see it in his eyes. I am just trying to cut to the core of what the issue is to figure out what he is so afraid of. Is this just a Sag Moon defect?? IP: Logged |
Quinnie Moderator Posts: 780 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 08, 2008 03:36 PM
Could be a Sag Moon thing. If it is then it's a good thing because the more you spend time and live together the more he will enjoy you as a companion as well as a lover. Thats what will give him emotionally security as well as the freedom to do his thing which will take a while (at least it did with us) to get the balance right of your needs and his needs plus the needs of the relationship. I heard this saying before. 'I can be me, you can be you and we can be we together' Quite a nice and simple saying. As a Cancer he wants to belong. You have v good basic compatibilty so trust that and forget about that 1 percent because what if that 1 percent is fulfilled when you move in together. IP: Logged | |