posted January 12, 2008 01:33 PM            

Well, soon it will be 4-5 years how I put my interest in astrology. Thought it will "open" some space to me, and it sure opened some vast universe. Now, after this last 3 years of my life I know one thing; I don't know nothing...
I had hell, emotional and financial.
Something I wished to occur in this life, never came, only Deja Vu situations and events that turned my world upside down.
I survived, I really did, but with what price. Mind is wonderful, but also it can be very f***able place.
I asked myself what I want this year for myself? There was only 2 things: love and stability.

2 persons, my good friend and fascinating astrology person with excellent predictions and second person, one of best Croatian astrologist...said; I am going to get married in 2008 or 2009. Even I can see that, but sure after all events, it sound ridicoulus.

I should not bother myself with all of this, but somehow I feel I pay some strange karma in this life. I even, cannot remember when I had normal and stable relationship.
2 persons turned my life upside down in last 3 years; both Cap woman, both born on same day, only years were different. Fascinanting, isn't it?

5th January...I curse this day.

Now, when I see where I am, well place is really confusing. Never felt so confused like now.
I fought off my demons, they are somewhere close, but they can't get to me. Social life wen't to hell, job did his work on me.
Friends all get in some relationships or married...What I plan in my life is only connected with me. ME and MYSELF. Like lone wolf.

There are things that "come", but they can also go around, and it is life.
But even will this year got my heart desire, because of all it is hard to believe.
There is also tendency that this "person" includes somebody from past, and sure it is Karma involved.
It can begin from this SOlar Eclipse, but "strike" comes in April-May 2008.

Even I have maybe best time in my life this next 2 years, I feel like nothing gonna happen.

Somehow I wanted to share my thoughts today here. I could even ask for opinions about this time and is this past that comes, but I won't post my Data this time...this takes to much work looking in my charts, transit and progressions.

posted January 12, 2008 03:40 PM            

You asked for opinions and I will give you some of mine. I think you should thank God or your Higher Power that he brought these recent experiences into your life, because if you want to be married this year or next year, you will want to know what to look for, what to say yes to, and what to say NO to.

Astrology didn't bring these experiences to you, astrology reflected these experiences of your life. Life doesn't fail you because it doesn't bring happy experiences to you, we are all here for soul development and it will be equal parts joy and misery. The trick is to learn from the difficult times and to apply those lessons to the future.

Think about this for a moment. Those astrologers/psychics told you that you would be married within these next two years. Did they tell you that the marriages would be HAPPY???

Take that in for a moment....

I wish I had a dollar for every person who told me that they went to a psychic and the psychic told them that they would be married at a certain time and even gave them the name of the person they would marry and the psychic was correct, only to have that marriage fall apart 2 to 5 years later because that person wasn't "the one" or that person wasn't right for them, or disrespected them so badly there was no way they would even be friends with that person.

I wish that everyone would have a wonderful happy marriage and that's what your focus should be on. If even YOU foresee the symbols for marriage coming up in your chart, and I believe that you are skilled enough at astrology to do that, Kindjali, what I would do is concentrate on the qualities that you TRULY want in a relationship with someone.

I know that for myself I want someone that I am physically attracted to and someone who stimulates me mentally. Someone who I could see being friends with forever, someone who will respect me, someone who would never have an interest in traumatizing me.

I would want to love and respect this person so much that if there ever came a time when this person could no longer be intimate with me, that I would remain with them until the end of our lives ANYWAY. If I were to become blind, would this person still be attractive in my eyes? If I became physically incapacitated, would this person stick around and take care of me? Would I do the same for them?

There is so much more than just the attraction factor, because sex fades, looks fade, and as much as the media wants us to believe that we will want to have sex deep into our 90's, it's not a reality for the majority of people. So there are many decisions to be made. I may have just hit the tip of the iceburg with some of the things I said here, but keep them in mind.

What does committment mean to you?

I say, do your best to love yourself first and know what a good relations looks like to you before you marry anyone, because those psychics and astrologers could be right about you getting married, but do they predict long lasting happiness for you.

Good luck in finding that, Kindjali. I have faith that you can.

posted January 12, 2008 03:59 PM            

Of course there is no guarantees for anything in life, well we are just humans, everything can fall apart in few years. What we see now as something good for us, as we develop, in few years it can be burden.
I am not talking about that.
I just think about experiences I had in last 3 years. Solitude is becoming annoying, but somehow I know that things are all experiences was good for us.

One thing that occupies my mind is this time that comes till middle of 2008. In what sense?; Am I gonna "met the past"? Is this gift or test?