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Author
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Topic: uncomfortable with attraction
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writesomething
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 01:20 AM
 
have you ever been very uncomfortable with an attraction to someone? i keep swinging back and forth to the extreme disinterest to complete infatuation for this very much older man. my main issue is his age. honestly, it sort of repulses me...not because the way he looks because i find very handsome for his age...but because the general idea of it...ive never been attracted to someone this much older. im guessing saturn in my 7th house is the culprit at the moment...we have a very loaded 8th house composite, and very nice synastry, karmic and potent at best.it feels like a snails pace race between us getting together. whenever we're together, its nice, proper, etc...we dont flirt, but we send each other a lot of messages mentally, and by gestures..our composite ascendant is capricorn(naturally)... was curious if anyone had an attraction to someone that was very uncomfortable but strong...what aspects did you have together..signs, etc IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 16, 2008 01:39 AM
I actually think this comes down to natal astrology. So far I've only encountered people who are naturally comfortable.. or naturally uncomfortable when it comes to attraction.. I don't know that many that swing from one side to the other. That being said - it sounds like it isn't the attraction in itself that makes you uncomfortable, but rather his age. This is the opposite chart of a girl who has dated a much older man: Sun - Virgo
Moon - Scorpio Mercury - Virgo
Venus - Libra
Mars - Libra
Jupiter - Leo I was thinking, since she was very comfortable with the situation.. and you don't really like the idea of it - you might find similarities to the opposite of her chart. PS. I only know his sun sign - Gemini.. so the opposite would be Sagittarius (I'm mentioning that because I remember you are a Virgo.. so I thought it might be interesting - since she is a Pisces.. if your guys were opposite signs as well.) IP: Logged |
augentier
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 02:40 AM
I have always had uncomfortable/inappropriate attractions to people...much older teachers, parents' friends, older co-workers, friends' parents, married men, the list goes on..and I agree I think it has to do with the natal chart. I have no idea what mine says about that..maybe I'm just a perv lolSomething about yourself is making you feel awkward. ------------------
Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon No man is free who is not master of himself. IP: Logged |
praecipua
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 02:44 AM
it's inherent to my personnality. right now i like someone but i'll have moments during the day that i'm lucky he can't read my mind. but i give him the right to do the same, well i'm lying to myself here cause he doesn't need my approval to do that. but as long as it's possible for both of us to remember what created the attraction in the first place and to keep the love intact, i think it's alright, because everyone has deeper issues to deal with.
and i think that in life nothing happens randomly so your friendship is here to allow both of you, serparately, to get in touch with your own issues to become whole again.
may be your problem are not your feelings. may be your feelings of desinterest or disgust are just an expression of your doubts about his age, may be it's the fear to realise (even unconsciously) that he's probably gonna die before you which stops you from experiencing a flowing love for him, and not so much what your real feelings are.
may be your relation has to happen for this precise reason... and for him for his own reasons. may be...may be not!
ps: thank you again for the reading, so much work it's impressive!!! IP: Logged |
Fluke
Newflake Posts: 0
From: Norway
Registered: Oct 2009
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posted January 16, 2008 03:03 AM
You and I have the exact same list of culprits, augentier...! In my case though I have to add bosses, they're a "favourite" of mine.. And definately not by choice.
And you can bet your last dollar that if he's married as well he'll be even more irresistible, actually the level of my attraction can be easily measured by how many negative factors about the attraction there is, in reverse.
I've been dying to find an astro(logical) reason for this, hehehAnd this naturally results in uncomfortable attraction, actually downright painful attraction. Hurts like hell, in fact  ------------------
Cancer Rising
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Cancer Venus
Gemini Mars IP: Logged |
LeoCat
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 05:55 AM
THis post is too funny. When I'm attracted it's full blown so there's no swinging back and forth with me. I can't ever be attracted to someone that repulses me.IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 16, 2008 06:15 AM
LeoCat..where are your Venus/Mars? Do they make an aspect? I feel the same way. Mine are trine. IP: Logged |
LeoCat
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 06:28 AM
Ummm...now let me think. My mars is in Leo in the 11H ruled by Cancer. And my Venus is in Gemini in 10th/9th. But not to worry, it's conjunct saturn so I'm not a swingin' gemini venus on the loose. They're sextile with a 6 degree orb so I don't really count that as an aspect.IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 16, 2008 07:02 AM
yay I'm glad they're sextile.. because it slightly proves my theory.. even if they are out of orb lol :edit: actually they are not 'out of orb' - it's just a loose orb. IP: Logged |
Urania*
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 09:02 AM
quote:
I have always had uncomfortable/inappropriate attractions to people...much older teachers, parents' friends, older co-workers, friends' parents, married men, the list goes on..and I agree I think it has to do with the natal chart. I have no idea what mine says about that..maybe I'm just a perv lolSomething about yourself is making you feel awkward.
That is so me...I don't remember the last time I've been attracted to someone who was considered "appropriate" for me. It's always men that have wives, girlfriends, sometimes they're just too young, or they simply live in another continent. I have a Venus/Mars square (Venus in Scorpio, Mars in Leo, 5 degrees orb). I also have that Venus/Uranus conjunction and that doesn't help either. I always feel too much guilt about my crushes, so I never act upon them. My latest one is a married guy (he has two kids, very happily married too), I know through work. It's always very awkward between us. His Venus conjuncts my Venus and therefore squares my Mars. His Mars opposes my Sun and conjuncts my Chiron. I think that Chiron synastry can make for an uncomfortable attraction. Transit Chiron is also in my 7th house and squaring my natal Sun and N. Chiron. It makes for very embarrassing feelings about one's desires I believe. IP: Logged |
Purple_Chick_71
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 10:09 AM
Urania - I feel your pain. I also seem to have an attraction for guys who are in some way "unavailable" to me. I have venus and uranus in mutual reception by sign and house. (Uranus in Libra in the 7th, venus in Aquarius in the 11th.)But I feel it doesn't have to be this way. I would love to know what kind of synastry might fit with this type of natal aspect. My current SO and I have some flowing Uranus aspects (his Uranus trine my moon and venus)...does anyone here think that might help? Of course, he's also "unavailable"...living on another continent, among other things! UGH! ------------------
Sun - Capricorn (10th House)
Moon - Gemini (2nd House)
Mercury - Sagittarius (9th House)
Venus - Aquarius (11th House)
Mars - Aries (12th House)
ASC - Aries IP: Logged |
darkdreamer
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 10:12 AM
Yes, I know about those uncomfortable attractions, too. The more unavailable,t he better.I have natally a Venus-Pluto-square, and maybe that is the reason, at least partly. Right now I feel a strong attraction to a gay man. And yes, I know he is definitely unavailable to me. And I know that I should NOT feel the way I do. But still I feel attracted. His Venus and Eros are conjunct my Venus and square my Pluto.
His Mars is conjunct my Pluto and square my Venus.
But even when I think about actors, that I feel drawn to in a rather "uncomfortable" way, this Venus-Pluto-square is activated.
For example:
His Sun conjunct my Venus square both our Plutos.
Or another example:
His Mercury and Mars conjunct my Venus and square my Pluto.
In real life it`s the same, always the Venus-Pluto-thingy. I am basically doomed, I guess. lol
DD IP: Logged |
Sarai
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 04:31 PM
I dated a professor at my university for two years. I met him off-campus at a party and we totally hit it off. Like it was instant attraction. He was 47 at the time, never married, athletic, and *very* charming. He looked... still looks amazing for his age.I still consider him one of my greatest loves. I'll never forget what we had and while it's been difficult to even keep even in "light" touch after our breakup, I know we can still count on each other during bad times should it come to taht. But the nitty gritty of our breakup was age-related. He had just been through so much and I was just getting started. I told him all the time how I felt like I was straggling behind him in life and he was standing there waiting for me to catch up to him. It made me feel insecure in our relationship. The thing about this sort of age gap is that the younger person never catches up in time. However, that isn't to say it can't work. It can because I've seen it work (my parents, for ex.). You need to put a lot of conscious effort into it but if you love someone so deeply, it just sort of happens. Good luck luv! Sarai  P.S. I wasn't into astrology at the time of this relationship but I remember doing our chart recently and seeing a lot of Juno contacts between us. Pluto was also heavy in our charts, as was Mercury. I'd do a deeper analysis but just feel weird about it right now. IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted January 16, 2008 10:29 PM
I have Venus in Scorpio in my 2nd house, Mars in Leo in my 11th. I think it's my Moon conj Jupiter in Cap in my 4th house that is responsible for the following:
Years ago I began developing extremely intense infatuations with people who were unavailable either because they were involved with someone or straight. At the time, I was in a live in relationship with someone who completely doted on me & would have done ANYTHING for me.
My latest "crush" is available, & probably interested but expecting me to make the first move &, so far, I can't....it's weird---the attraction feels VERY uncomfortable partly because, I believe, she has her Sun, Merc, Saturn & Uranus in my 8th House
I obsess to the point of feeling really awkward when I am around her---we've had some very intimate conversations in the past, now I'm just scared!IP: Logged |
writesomething
unregistered
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posted January 17, 2008 08:03 AM
quote:
Something about yourself is making you feel awkward.
maybe..not really..i feel like im scared to get involved emotionally because of his age. Like what if something happened to him..like he died? if we did become serious, could i handle his age and the fact he could die sooner(more likely due to his age)?
i dont even know why i cant just think of it as a dating/flirtation/affair. i guess i wouldnt want that. also the whole father figure issue comes into my head. im not normally attracted to older men, i dont know maybe its a psychological aspect of this attraction that plagues me. IP: Logged |
BLKFox
unregistered
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posted January 17, 2008 05:33 PM
Some people go their entire life without experiencing true love...(I should listen to my own advice)even if you only experience it for a day....how Wonderful!!
--Sounds like a great opportunity to get close to someone who is mature & knows what he wants.
The fact that you are so scared suggests possibility for great transformation.
IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Aug 2009
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posted January 17, 2008 06:44 PM
quote:
At the time, I was in a live in relationship with someone who completely doted on me & would have done ANYTHING for me.
Can I just ask.. are you embarrassed by this behavior of yours.. or are you actually showing off? Because I can't tell. IP: Logged | |
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