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Author Topic:   Jealousy vs. Possessiveness
Sarai
unregistered
posted January 17, 2008 12:31 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What's the difference?

(I hope that wasn't a dumb question)

Sarai

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augentier
unregistered
posted January 17, 2008 01:13 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
if you're jealous: you feel inadequate when something you want is not yours.

if you're possessive: you feel that something IS yours and that you have some sort of deserved ownership over it.

my 2 cents

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Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon

No man is free who is not master of himself.

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MercuryBird
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posted January 17, 2008 01:15 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Jealousy is a feeling that you want to be in someone elses place, or you might want something someone else has.. but thats as far as it goes.
Possessiveness is, I think, when you force someone to be with you or try to control someone or something to an extreme level.

(I hope that helps.)

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augentier
unregistered
posted January 17, 2008 01:42 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
MercuryBird..do you think that possessiveness must ALWAYS be extreme? something as simple as your normal seat at the dining table is "yours" and when someone else sits there you feel like something of yours was just taken..even though that placement is not YOURS. i think possessiveness is natural and ranges from subtle to extreme.

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Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon

No man is free who is not master of himself.

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Sarai
unregistered
posted January 17, 2008 01:42 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
augentier & MercuryBird,

Thank you sweetly for replying with your responses. I just wasn't quite sure how to distinguish the two because they seem like one and the same... but now I know.

!!

S

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MercuryBird
unregistered
posted January 17, 2008 01:48 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
augentier
I think the difference there, is that if it was something as simple as your chair being taken by someone else, it would be more like a jealousy that you can't sit in your normal chair. If you made a big scene and forced who ever it was to get up out of your seat, that would be possessive. If you let someone else sit there, you're not possessing it, you just prefer it.
I suppose there are seemingly milder forms of possession, but when it comes to humans trying to possess other humans I think thats pretty extreme.

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blue moon
Knowflake

Posts: 1344
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 17, 2008 03:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Possessiveness -> It's mine and I'm not going to share it, so keep your hands off

Jealousness -> It's mine and I don't want you to have it, so back off

Envy -> It's yours but I want, why do you have it? I deserve it more!

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29thDegree
Newflake

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Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 17, 2008 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 29thDegree     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think in terms of a relationship they would mean:

Possessiveness-i.e. He is mine...don't touch him and he better not touch someone else. I think devotion and he better be devoted in return. I think it's good to an extent as long as it is within reasonable and healthy boundaries.

Jealousy-i.e. Insecurity/Obession...I think I could lose him, I'm not good enough/better/deserving so I could lose him to someone that offers something more to him. I'm can't stand up against his ex-girlfriend, etc. Jealousy is never good in my opinion under any circumstance.

Well in a relationship I have finally realized that jealousy will not get you anywhere, possessiveness in my terms will. If you know you are offering everything you can to someone and you still feel jealous then the relationship will never fill you in the way you need it to. And trying to hold onto someone you feel insecure with will cause obession and ultimately you will learn to let go of relationship that makes you feel inadequate.

I just went through t Pluto square n Venus transit and now in the t Pluto trine Sun/Dsc. and sextile Asc., and the jealousy/power issues I am very familiar with and schooled in...LOL. I think I got very familiar with those to terms during these transits...Hope this helps.

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Unmoved
Knowflake

Posts: 2196
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted January 17, 2008 04:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm with blue moon.

Love perverted is Possessiveness - When you desire to control that which you desire, by imposing your power over it, by trying to "own" it.

Eg. I love my boyfriend and he is free to be anything that makes him happy, as long as it is a win-win situation for us. I am possessive of my boyfriend if I do not allow him to be what he wishes to be, but impose my will on him to do the things that make "me" happy, a win-lose situation because I am happy and he isn't.

Envy perverted is Jealousy - When instead of aspiring to have or be that you desire, you instead try to destroy that which you desire so that no one has it, including yourself.

Eg. I envy my boyfriend and I am motivated to do better for myself due to his actions, to give myself what he has, a win-win situation. I am jealous of my boyfriend if I desire to destroy that which he has because I do not have it, a lose-lose situation.

my two cents...

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Sarai
unregistered
posted January 18, 2008 04:28 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oooooh thanks to everyone. This is so interesting. thanks!!!!!!!!

S

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LibraChickety
unregistered
posted January 19, 2008 06:00 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There are so many different levels of possessiveness and jealousy. There ARE healthy levels and there are extreme levels. We ALL experience both on different scales - and not just with human interaction.

I don't believe there is anything wrong with being 'possessive'. We all are, to an extent. SOME people consider everything in their lives 'possessions': money, home, car, career, their significant other. Namely Taurus, Cancer and Scorpio. While others, namely Aquarius, don't feel that one 'possesses' ANYTHING in life - everything is free to the wind.

Who's to say what degree of possessiveness or jealousy is unacceptable? I believe that lies in the eye of the beholder.

I realize this doesn't answer your question, but I'm just in a mood tonight :P


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Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked

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LibraChickety
unregistered
posted January 19, 2008 06:03 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Okay, well... according to the dictionary:

jeal·ous·y /ˈdʒɛləsi/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[jel-uh-see]
–noun, plural -ous·ies for 4.
1. jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself.
2. mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims.
3. vigilance in maintaining or guarding something.
4. a jealous feeling, disposition, state, or mood.


pos·ses·sive /pəˈzɛsɪv/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[puh-zes-iv]
–adjective
1. jealously opposed to the personal independence of, or to any influence other than one's own upon, a child, spouse, etc.
2. desirous of possessing, esp. excessively so: Young children are so possessive they will not allow others to play with their toys; a possessive lover.
3. of or pertaining to possession or ownership.
4. Grammar.
a. indicating possession, ownership, origin, etc. His in his book is a possessive adjective. His in The book is his is a possessive pronoun.
b. noting or pertaining to a case that indicates possession, ownership, origin, etc., as, in English, John's in John's hat.
–noun Grammar.
5. the possessive case.
6. a form in the possessive.

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Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
........
I feel so naked

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