Lindaland
  Astrology
  NN in 10th house, SN in 4th house

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   NN in 10th house, SN in 4th house
jane
Knowflake

Posts: 1277
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted March 05, 2008 06:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*

IP: Logged

blue moon
Knowflake

Posts: 1344
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 05, 2008 07:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, Jane, you have to eat and you need a roof. So does your mother.

A year ago my role as full-time carer came to an end, and I still feel drained. I carried on working in that period (part-time admittedly) although financially I didn't need to - I am glad I did. Some outlet to keep sane is a must. As long as proper care is being provided in that period when you are away I don't think you should reproach yourself too much. It's all a balance, and not an easy one.

IP: Logged

wheelsofcheese
Newflake

Posts:
From:
Registered:

posted March 05, 2008 07:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheelsofcheese     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Jane
I don't know much about the node stuff but just wanted to say it sounds like a very difficult situation for you and your mother, and fumbling for words here, but you need to be content in yourself to be able to care for her effectively. You have her living in your home which is such an incredible thing to do for a parent (I don't know if I could do that for mine I have to be honest). You need to live and have purpose in your life too, especially because you are tied to a specific location.

These are difficult issues, I don't think you should be feeling guilty. You are providing pretty decent care you know, but think of yourself too. Hats off to you Jane.

IP: Logged

jane
Knowflake

Posts: 1277
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted March 05, 2008 07:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*

IP: Logged

jane
Knowflake

Posts: 1277
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted March 05, 2008 07:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*

IP: Logged

amowls
Newflake

Posts: 4
From: Falls Church, VA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 05, 2008 11:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for amowls     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You're in a tough situation. Obviously family is important, but you're not going to be happy if you give up on your career aspirations.

I also have NN in the 10th, and the very thought of being a stay at home mom is abhorrent to me.

IP: Logged

Taurus80
Newflake

Posts: 10
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 05, 2008 03:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Taurus80     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
((((((((((((((Jane)))))))))))))))))

You are such an amazing daughter, really not many people would put themselves second like you do sometimes.

Don't feel guilty about pursuing your career hun, try and do what makes you happy. You have so much to offer Everything will work out

IP: Logged

Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 982
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 05, 2008 07:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
jane ~

Please don’t feel bad about prioritizing your career/10th house NN at the top, over your mom
I know it’s hard for many women to put themselves before the needs of family members, but this IS your NN path – you are here in this dimension, body and time to accomplish tasks and learn lessons for YOU and YOUR soul’s growth. I don’t have NN in X, but mine is in Cappy, which is quite similar. I don’t think your mom realizes that she IS playing the guilt card with you, even if it’s unconscious on her part…... and I don’t mean to sound hardhearted, but your mom is terminal and you still have quite a bit of life ahead of you to sort out. Perhaps others would put their ailing parent first and put their own lives on hold, but I don’t feel that’s a fair expectation for EVERYONE in this position.

Of course your mom would rather have you as FULL-TIME caregiver, she loves you and is comfortable with you, and no matter how much she may like the hired help, they’re not family and she won’t feel as comfy with them. A similar situation happened with my mom – when my dad’s health started declining, he finally broke down and hired caregivers for the overnight and weekend shifts to care for Mom. Yet Mom would still holler for HIM in the middle of the night to help her to the bathroom, waking him up from a badly needed rest, when the hired caregiver was sitting in the living room 10 feet away, wide awake, waiting on Mom’s needs. Mom could not see how unfair she was being to Dad, although perhaps if she’d known at the time he had terminal cancer she would have given him a break…..

There is a balance between having your own life and taking care of family members, and I think you’ve more than fulfilled that – she’s living in your house!! She gets to see you and gets your assistance daily!! My mother is “incarcerated” (as she says) in a nursing home, and we see her maybe once a week. Even if I COULD have my mother at my house, I wouldn’t do it: she requires 24-hour care and I’m a single mom with a full-time job – I’m stretched to the limit already, and I can’t manage caregivers, shifts, billing & payments, medications, etc on top of my current responsibilities. And Mom grudgingly agrees – she says my first responsibility is to my son, which means my second responsibility is to earning the wherewithal to support that son.

Anyway, chalk me up for agreeing that you’re not wrong in pursuing your career. And please try to allay the guilt, your Mom has been very lucky to have your care as much as she has thus far.

Zala

IP: Logged

wild sheep
unregistered
posted March 05, 2008 09:08 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have NN 10th/SN 4th, so I've been reading a lot about the challenges of this axis.

Balancing career against family is only one problem for those with NN in the 10th/SN in the 4th—balancing male/female energy is another. This could even manifest as some hormonal or metabolic imbalances, so you may want to watch out for that.

Some have interpreted the 10/4 nodal axis as being representative of a life path during which you may feel not only intense pressure to succeed professionally, but really struggle (emotionally and spiritually) if you choose to "stay home," especially if it means sacrificing career ambitions. Worst case scenarios I have encountered include people who had full-on breakdowns after not fulfilling career goals. But I wouldn't focus on that potentiality.

I also think it's possible that a 10/4 person may have the opportunity to clear "bad" karma via some kind of service in the home, to the personal side of herself, or to a mother figure, but not to the degree that the service would require neglecting professional desires and responsibilities.

That's all I've got. Good luck.

IP: Logged

jane
Knowflake

Posts: 1277
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted March 06, 2008 03:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*

IP: Logged

LeoCat
unregistered
posted March 08, 2008 09:30 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My south node is in cancer, north node in cap, does it feel like a 4H/10H struggle? Yeah, I think its pretty much the same. I feel like I've struggled my entire life to get out from under the weight of my family. I ran away from home a number of times when I was younger.

Part of it is devotion to my family, part of it is they've always seemed to hinder my growth. And when I try to break free the guilt trips come in. I understand, they feel they need me and I need them, we are family, afterall and when your family is not there for you in the end, nobody is.

My parents are like this with all their children, I'm the only one with south node in cancer and indeed, it seems to have affected me most.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2011

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a