got another taste of cancer moodiness, and a question about stuff in general..

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Author	Topic: got another taste of cancer moodiness, and a question about stuff in general..
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 02:13 PM so i've been seeing this cancer guy who has virgo moon and rising. his moon is EXACTLY conjunct my NN and i totally feel it. he is so practical and helps me deal with stuff i've long supressed, in very proactive, efficient ways. in these ways he is a GODSEND. but then there is this part of him that is super, almost unrelentingly critical (of everything).. and one or two times already his cancer moodiness has made its way out. sorta like big tantrums. and my question is.. aside from my moon in taurus in the 4th/5th, i have pretty much all my houses and signs NOT in the personal houses and signs.. as in, one or the other is in a "universal" sign, if not house, and vice versa.. (sorry, is my english weird? i just woke up) and i'm starting to wonder.. do the personal planets/houses/signs have to do with ego and selfishness, self-involvement? like, are they sort of incapable of seeing beyond themselves without intense effort? this guy is amazingly aware in so many ways, but to have a tantrum and be insulting, you have to be pretty much stuck inside yourself to get to that place, right? it just got me thinking.. that it seems like a lower hemisphere thing maybe. or something. IP: Logged
Seeing Stars 7.21 Knowflake Posts: 137 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 18, 2008 02:28 PM He has a virgo ascendant.. its the nature to be critical.. I have the same thing and know how he feels.. except he also has a moon to go with. hes prolly just stressed from being bent on perfection.. IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 02:43 PM ohhh yeah. that is totally it. he is obsessed with perfection. he even says that he cannot NOT see conflict in everything that he has to assess and deconstruct, etc, obsessively, to make sense of it. i gotta say, if unchecked (as in, if i'm constantly privy to his "process"), it can be exhausting! IP: Logged
Kal_El Newflake Posts: 22 From: Rainy City Registered: Nov 2009	posted March 18, 2008 03:40 PM I can relate to that, I too also have Virgo rising. I tend to obsess and over analyze things I do not understand till the point it drives other people crazy. I feel that I have to make sense of it some way. If I can not, I talk and talk about it (which irritates other people) till I feel I have made sense of it. Does this make any sense? I just woke up so it may not. Hope it helped a little... it might not. ------------------ "You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephen King IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 03:49 PM yes! it makes sense! the great thing is, he is very aware of it. of couse, with all that virgo, how could he not be! i guess some of it has to do with his SN/NN axis too.. he's gemini SN in the 10th, so that means EXTRA emphasis on mental processing and control, which gives it even more intensity. and really, i do love many aspects of it. i find him very grounding, thorough and honest. he cares to understand and really make sure he does understand. understanding is an obsession to him, which i can relate to as an aquarius. perhaps it is because my ascendant is sagittarius so i prefer to be lighthearted and fun and move forward with joviality, rather than constant dissection of every moment of reality! but, relationships are about compromise and acceptance. i'm just not sure if this would drive me batty over time or not!! haha.. IP: Logged
Kal_El Newflake Posts: 22 From: Rainy City Registered: Nov 2009	posted March 18, 2008 04:01 PM ooh. I have mars in gemini and I think it is the MC too. So we may be very alike in that matter. I also have cancer as my moon. So the moodiness comes out in what people have referred to as tantrums. ------------------ "You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephen King IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 04:10 PM haha. tantrum might be an unfair word, but that is what it reminds me of. he gets very childlike at times and takes a "well eff you" stance with all the theatrics. IP: Logged
Kal_El Newflake Posts: 22 From: Rainy City Registered: Nov 2009	posted March 18, 2008 04:36 PM well, tantrum isn't the one they use the most, they say I sulk a lot. ------------------ "You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephen King IP: Logged
bellemalheur unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 05:35 PM one of my best friends is a cancer and every so often she snaps and has a cancerian meltdown (that's what i've decided to call it) and if you're present, she's pretty much going make it your problem because it's never her fault that she feels what she's feeling. otherwise if no one is around, she sulks. it's never a calm, sane argument. (she always has a problem with someone, as well) as a capricorn, i dont quite understand it BUT i can see the warning signs and try to evade her presence when i see them, and that usually spares me. the other one, who is a scorpio, does not do this.... and, actually, seldom argues with anyone. IP: Logged
Seeing Stars 7.21 Knowflake Posts: 137 From: Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 18, 2008 05:41 PM hahah heart cakes i take the same stance.. when Im sick of trying to prove my point and analyzation in the argument.. I just adopt that stance and try to make myself laugh about it while the SO is still ****** off and trying to argue.. lol IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 08:16 PM ooh, thanks for the input guys! yeah. cancers are confusing. arg.. right now i'm just kinda frustrated about it all and he's writing me massive letters dissecting everything i say but also misinterpreting most of what i say and it's just tiresome. sigh. i just don't know if i'm cut out for this much intensity. give me some air!! come to think of it.. i think he only has his SN and pluto in air signs. darn. we are strange creatures, us humans. IP: Logged
ghanima81 Moderator Posts: 520 From: Maine Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 18, 2008 08:28 PM The amazing thing about Cancers, they are usually very good at reading other people. I imagine with that much fussy Virgo influence, they might not always like what they see and try to 'figure it out'... like it was a math problem or something... Virgo influence tends to break things down to tiny little pieces that they can inspect/disect/suspect, and a Cancarian sun added to it... difficult. I'm sure he is aware of his behavior. And I bet he tries to make every single exhasperated diagnosis about that, too... hope he doesn't bump his head on his shell, constantly running back and forth for his microscope and dustpan... This is the first time I have experienced a Cancer sun... (Venus in Virgo, too) not easy. For a heavily air-influenced person, this kind of critical response is hard to take. WTF do I care if there is a crumb on the counter? I washed the freakin' dishes! Don't cry about it... Jeesh... It just comes down to what you know in your heart you can compromise for another person. If his 'tantrums' stress you out more than his devotion and beautiful caring make you feel good... get outta there, girl! IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 08:45 PM oh that gave me a great big laugh that was like a sigh of relief. you understand!! and yes, he sees it in himself and it frustrates him too! it's great because we can talk and talk and talk about almost anything.. and he's good at looking at his own process.. but yeah, too good! he seems to have a hard time seeing OUTSIDE of his process.. which, as an air person, comes naturally to me. i mean, i have my own loops and patterns and stuff of course, but i can jump from here to there easily, and my empathy is easily accessed.. with him though, i feel like he has all these expectations that i behave a certain way that fits INTO his process, or what he needs to have happen to make sense of things (which is an incessant need!), so i don't feel free. and i'm an aquarius! all i want is my own freedom of thought! i can't cage my thoughts into another's process. just kinda ranting now.. but we're still in the midst of a monstrously huge discussion because i'm asking for some space and he's taking it bad.. appreciate the commiseration and the levity!! i sure needed that!!! IP: Logged
ghanima81 Moderator Posts: 520 From: Maine Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 18, 2008 09:13 PM heart cakes, I think we figured out we have some similar aspects.... It's already hard for an Aqua sun to deal with a Caner sun... load on a bunch of other critical, "this goes here, and this goes here, and NO! That doesn't go there, it goes HERE" bs... we just don't get it... The thing we tend to do, however, is take it. We want everyone to be oh so happy all the time, and we sort of get lost in the fray. Or we can, if our more firey aspects get compromised by our continuous need to make sure everything for everyone is okay.. Do you know what I mean?? I'm glad you are taking a break. I think you need it to reflect on your own needs. Don't let yourself want to neutralize things so much that you forget what you have to offer... IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 09:22 PM i think this really illustrates the extremes of these signs (esp virgo and aquarius). i can see how a person would be frustrated at aquarius' apparent aloofness and assign it a certain flavour of cruelty.. but yet we all need to be free to be ourselves and get to know another on the basis of fully being who we are and also making sure we let the other person have total freedom of expression and self.. in this situation i feel like i might be a hypocrite, though, because i can't ask him to not be that way.. and i admire his consistency and dedication.. i know what you mean, ghanima81. i can't remember your chart, but i remember us finding some similarities! it's just.. we went to the doctor yesterday for a little problem i was having and he kept telling me what to do, and interrupting me to talk to the receptionist about what HE thinks they need to know.. as if i'm incompetent, etc. and doesn't understand my need to think my own stuff through. in theory, he does, but not really in practice.. so yeah, i gotta think more about this! thanks again!! IP: Logged
ghanima81 Moderator Posts: 520 From: Maine Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 18, 2008 09:28 PM That would annoy the ever loving sht out of me... I mean, I don't know crap about cars. I try, I think I do... but in reality, I don't. Go ahead. Take the reigns with the mechanic. Have a freaking party. But do not, DO NOT try and control a situation that has to do with my body. It's mine, you tool! And maybe you've seen it all and touched most of it... it's still mine and I would appreciate you not trying to stick me in a corner and take over because you are a total anal retentive crazy person who has to get things done 'your way', when it should be MY WAY. above would be my reaction if that happened to me. I wouldn't say any of it... but it would be burning holes in the panelling of the doctor's office from my eyes... Truly, be true to yourself; you'll know what's right for you. IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 09:48 PM i know. it drove me completely bonkers! it's like that virgoian processing just takes over his entire realm of perception. oh, this requires this, requires me doing this, to make it perfect. he rarely seems to step out of that mode. it's confusing. cuz the guy is in my heart and we've connected well. it's important to me, this time, to take this extremely slowly and MAKE SURE it's totally compatible before i commit! i haven't had a relationship in 2 years, aside from one brief attempt, because i need to be very careful. i put my whole heart into things, and, yeah, this just feels kinda clausterphobic right now. it's just so exhausting.. the mode he is usually in.. naturally meets with resistance when i try to infuse my own perception, which then requires a huge debate to dissect to satisfaction, etc. yikes! but sometimes he is SO sweet and caring and truly open. just babbling.. but, it's weirding me out! ha.. IP: Logged
Green Fairy unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 10:02 PM quote: I can relate to that, I too also have Virgo rising. I tend to obsess and over analyze things I do not understand till the point it drives other people crazy. I feel that I have to make sense of it some way. If I can not, I talk and talk about it (which irritates other people) till I feel I have made sense of it. Does this make any sense? I just woke up so it may not. Hope it helped a little... it might not. I am the same way, i usually end up babbling just to prove my point hehe (i got issues with expressing myself properly anyway - my Merc [in the 12th] square Saturn [in the 3rd]) IP: Logged
Dulce Luna Newflake Posts: 7 From: The Asylum, NC Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 18, 2008 10:14 PM Well, Im a cancer sun/ virgo moon and all of this sounds familiar: the overanalyzing, the obsessive-compulsiveness, (self) criticalness, etc. Although I dont think I tell others what to do with themselves, atleast I hope not. Well, I will solicit advice when asked though. What do you wanna know? IP: Logged
ghanima81 Moderator Posts: 520 From: Maine Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 18, 2008 10:14 PM Maybe you need to shake it up a little? Assert yourself? Make him see your side of the issue... how it might not be the end all and be all if you put the salt shaker a quarter inch away from it's 'ususal' place?... ...just sayin'... IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 18, 2008 10:40 PM haha. actually, weirdly enough, he's REALLY MESSY. but that virgo gotta come out somewhere. seems he's overcompensating at the interpersonal level!! yeah, i'm thinking that for me it's gonna be imperative that i be allowed to maintain a bubble of autonomy and frankness. he loves my frankness actually.. so it just may be the key.. dulce luna, do you feel this way?-- he tells me he sees conflict everywhere and it's like it's up to him to make sense of it and bring order to it. course that makes sense since virgo is about DISCERNMENT.. that you would notice the contrasts.. but to have them be at a level of actual CONFLICT seems a tiny bit extreme to me.. or maybe i just don't understand. but the good thing is, he isn't WILLINGLY attached to his perceptions and does what he can to liberate himself from them. it can be frustrating when he doesn't understand something and he wants to talk about it forever.. i get it and can accept that that's his process. but.. i guess it must be the 10th house SN thing bringing in t he sort of overbearing/control aspect.. on the other hand, MUCH of what he says puts things into IMMEDIATE sharp focus for me and he gives me great courage, in matters of practicality that i avoid like mad.. i am quite sure it's his virgo moon within minutes of my NN. so, that is totally awesome. and my neptune is within minutes of his NN, and i know he's soaking in some stuff.. i guess maybe it's just about keeping the perspective on where we are actually helping one another and strengthening that.. or something. IP: Logged
Ranti Newflake Posts: 4 From: Chiang Mai THAILAND Registered: Apr 2009	posted March 19, 2008 01:29 AM Most cancers show their bad side when they feel insecure. If you believe he worths it, please know that that feeling can be wiped out pretty easily. With some practice you can even do it without saying a word, you know. Just give him that look LOL. IP: Logged
heart cakes unregistered	posted March 19, 2008 09:40 PM thanks ranti. i really sense that about him. well, i decided it was just too much and i've let him go.. i'm just not ready for a relationship. we're gonna keep our friendship going though, and maybe something will happen again someday, maybe not. i appreciate all the feedback. IP: Logged
Kal_El Newflake Posts: 22 From: Rainy City Registered: Nov 2009	posted March 20, 2008 03:53 AM Green Fairy, quote: quote:I can relate to that, I too also have Virgo rising. I tend to obsess and over analyze things I do not understand till the point it drives other people crazy. I feel that I have to make sense of it some way. If I can not, I talk and talk about it (which irritates other people) till I feel I have made sense of it. Does this make any sense? I just woke up so it may not. Hope it helped a little... it might not. I am the same way, i usually end up babbling just to prove my point hehe (i got issues with expressing myself properly anyway - my Merc [in the 12th] square Saturn [in the 3rd]) Yeah, I think I babble, ramble, and maybe stutter here or there if I am nervous enough. ------------------ "You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." Stephen King IP: Logged

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