posted April 18, 2008 11:14 AM         

i dont think it was done here by IQHUNK

What does an Aries eat to calm himself down?
Answer: MARSMELLOWS

Why are all kangaroos friends of Aries?
Answer: They are MARSuPiALS! Duh!

And then there was the Aries convict who escaped from the Libra cop, asking him to choose which handcuff should be put on first.

ADAM: ARIES. He ate the apple and then thought about the consequences.
EVE: SCORPIO. She got turned on by the apple and just had to stimulate Adam.
THE SNAKE: AQUARIUS with PISCES Ascendant. Who else would be more altruistic to gift us with the knowledge of Sex?

And then there was the Scorpio girl who chose to serve the Lord, so she joined a Monastery.

3 girls were discussing their husbands and as usual the topic veered towards sex. The first one, a Cancerian, bragged, "My hubby is an Aries and sex with him reminds me of the song 'Love Machine'". The second gal, an Aquarius, mused, "My hubby is a Leo and our sex just brings the song 'Thriller" to my mind". The third one, a Scorpio, cooly said "My hubby is a Taurus. The only song that can describe his sex is 'Hotel California' ". The other two protested "But that is a weird song?", secretly happy that for once they outdid a Scorpio girl.
She happily explained "It's because of the lyrics. He checks in anytime he wants but he can never leave".

And then there was the Scorpio virgin who had had only 3 men.

Q: Why do Scorpios like Police Work?
A: Because of the Handcuffs

Q: Why do Scorpios hate hardcore pornography?
A: Because it is too boring

Q: What is a short word for a Celibate Scorpio?
A: A Corpse

1) Beware of sex with a horny Cancer Male. He might think it is too cosy like home and refuse to come out.

2) If you are a Scorpio girl , ignore point 1
[Did not manage to go too far ]

3) And then there was the Pisces drunkard who suddenly started abstaining from cocktails. He wanted to become a neat guy.

4) And then there was the Pisces teetotaller
who finally got an appointment to surgically separate his lips.

5) The surgeons are thinking of studying the condition in 4 to try out on Geminis and help reduce noise pollution

6) What is Libran Manufacturing known as?
A) Economies of Scale

7) How did Agent Smith finally capture Neo?
A) He uploaded a Libran Virus on him when Morpheus offered the Red Pill/Blue Pill choice.

8) How did Neo escape?
A) The Libran Virus took a small nap...

9) What happens when an Aquarian Dominatrix
encounters a Piscean submissive?
A) Nothing, the Domina forgot where she kept her whip.

10) What happens when a sadistic Piscean Dominatrix corners somebody?
A) Self Flagellation

11) The Men in Black exposed an Alien Sex Scandal in a triangular spacecraft. It was an Andromedan, a Reptilian and an Aquarian.

12) And then there was a Leo so upset with the quality of mirrors that he spent years to master Out of body experiences.

13) How do the International Atheletics
Anti Doping Agency find out about new drugs to ban?
A) They just test a Piscean weightlifter.