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Author
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Topic: Pentune and illusion in long term relationships?
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Lana29865
unregistered
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posted April 21, 2008 02:40 AM
NEPTUNE, sorry a typo in the title! ;-))Hi guys, I'd be really interested in hearing you thoughts and experiences about Neptunian impacts in long term relationships. Neptune aspects in synastry (or composite) are most often described as deceptive, illusory, and so on... IMO, these descriptions seem to outweigh the good sides of Neptune. If it is true that those who have Neptune aspects in their synastry see their partners through rose colored eyeglasses, I would only assume that this wears out with time...
I mean, surely the illusions don't last a lifetime, or do they...? Do these couples live in a lie? I would like to doubt it, at least for those who have been together for a long, long time. It would be great to find a chart of an old happy couple with important Neptune aspects. Anyone? ~ Lana IP: Logged |
mrsxdwinchester
unregistered
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posted April 21, 2008 02:52 AM
My parents have been together since they were 13. I think in all they have 38 years, but they've been married 32. I'm not sure about Neptune aspects, but someone could check if they'd like.  Mom:
04/09/58
Fresno, CA
6:56AM
Dad:
09/07/57
Mesa, AZ
3:00AM (exact time, not estimated)
IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted April 21, 2008 05:41 AM
What about Neptune and spirituality though? Or psychic connection?IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 1642
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 21, 2008 07:24 AM
someone told me that neptune/venus aspects are ESSENTIAL if you want your relationship to be fun... l think they are right IP: Logged |
Lana29865
unregistered
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posted April 22, 2008 12:29 AM
Anyone else?What I mean by the question is... surely people cannot live in illusion about each other all their lives? Or can they? Or maybe it is not an illusion after all but a gift of love, a gift of seeing the beautiful in each other... I think the beautiful qualities of Neptune aspects are underestimated - it can be beautiful, just beautiful, without it being an illusion. A Pisces kind of gentle influence. ~ Lana IP: Logged |
silverstone
unregistered
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posted April 22, 2008 12:46 AM
Interesting!
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year....
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. ~Robert Frost IP: Logged |
jwhop
Knowflake Posts: 895
From: Madeira Beach, FL USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 22, 2008 12:47 AM
Hmmm, I thought surely you must mean "Petunias and Illusions in Long Term Relationships".  Never underestimate flower power in relationships. If you're a guy and your flowers are illusionary...or non existent, there's trouble down the road for you. IP: Logged |
wild sheep
unregistered
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posted April 22, 2008 01:28 AM
In my experience, strong Neptune action in synastry (say, husband's Sun conjunct wife's Neptune, or wife's Neptune conjunct other wife's Ascendant) makes for lasting relationships. I wouldn't say those couples "live a lie," some are actually adept at recognizing each other's flaws...but neither one really cares about his or her partner's flaws all that much.IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 152
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted April 22, 2008 02:22 AM
I think with Venus, love is conditional. "Treat me this away, and I'll stay with you." "Be this person, and I'll love you." Whereas with Neptune, there are no conditions. It's a spiritual love of another human being, not as your friend or lover or husband, but just as some other soul you feel connected to.I think where disillusionment and disappointment can set in is when someone ignores or doesn't yet understand her Venus and the conditions she has for her love relationships. When someone either... 1. ignores how the other person doesn't match the standards of her Venus and then one day sees that failure, or
2. deceives herself about how important her Venus is.
She sees how her partner doesn't satisfy her Venus, but denies Venus' importance. Then one day she realizes that her Venus does matter, and that it has desires that can't be happily ignored. Neptune can be beautiful and grant a comforting, meaningful spiritual bond. Because Neptune can feel so good, people may be tempted to ignore Venus, but I think healthy love relationships need to satisfy our Venus. As long as the relationship and partner does that, I think Neptune deepens the couple's bond and love, rather than create an illusion which is possibly one day destroyed. In synastry and composites, hard Neptune aspects don't necessarily mean deception/illusions/etc. I think it could mean the opposite, that the couple doesn't allow that to happen. They eventually put their idealism (about the partner, the relationship, and themselves) to the test to see if reality supports or conflicts with their idealism. Their relationship may or may not pass the test. Neptune can seduce people into a relationship that's not what they really need or want, but if the relationship is really what they need and want and on top of that has Neptune aspects...that's some good stuff.  Edit: I focused on Venus, but I think all the personal planets are relevant here. They're all, well, personal and describe what we need as individuals in our life and in our relationships. IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 811
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 22, 2008 04:26 AM
Of course you need illusion in long term relationships. When I look at my husband I see a less pretty-boy version of Olivier Martinez, a more objective eye would see something quite different. IP: Logged |
Diandra23
unregistered
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posted April 22, 2008 08:59 AM
What jane said it fits perfectly well - thankx JANE! Me and my bf have a lot of Neptune going on: natally i have it conj my IC and trine sun/venus John has his in the 5th (talk about idealizing partners),skuare venus adn trine his MC So,we are both neptunian persons and habituated with these energies ( specially in love) COMPOSITE Neptune skuares sun/moon,sextile saturn and trine ASC Davidson -same as composite but with a trine to venus and sextile to Pluto SINASTRY his Neptune trine my venus
My Neptune skuare his Venus so,at diferent times in our relationship,the energies of the skuare are relevant;other times,itīs the trine. I thnik that 1st,having the aspects natally,will eventually appear in the sinastry of the 2 persons,as happened with us. Neptune plays a lot in us,we both are very attatech spiritually to each other and have a strong psychic conection ( along t~with other aspects that contribute to this). The explanation of neptune aspects,that resonated most with me were the ones found in Cafe Astrology  fetn itīs not the counscious illusion or deception that is there,itīs the pretending of the neptune to seem "perfect" - only that...
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/sun_neptune_aspects.html
http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/venus_neptune_aspects.html IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 811
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 22, 2008 02:30 PM
O.K, I've thought about this and checked out a couple of charts. My conclusion is that tense Neptune aspects could well manifest in one partner being less realistic than the other in some aspect of life. As an example what about Mars Square Neptune ~ that's one I've seen on a couple of long-term relationship charts. It gets painted as drugs/drink/deception but what if Neptune is in the 2nd? ~I don't know what that says to anyone else, but I think one might get annoyed with the other one for being foolish with money and/or having unrealistic financial expectations. A fairly standard area of marital discord. Change it to another house, the same scenario might play out in a different way. 10th? Unrealistic career ideas. 5th? Unrealist ideas about family size/how to bring up children. If confusion and deception fits into the story ~ that isn't anything I've never heard of before. It doesn't mean a relationship death-knell, it might, but the discord might be resolved and/or a compromise reached. That's what marriage is about, anyway, unless I am doing it wrong. As for rose-tinted glasses, they can stay on for a long time. Even if you know someone through and through, you might prefer to describe them as "eccentric" rather than "disturbed and possibly certifiable". (real life example) Maybe tolerance is an over-looked Neptunian quality. IP: Logged |
winky_winky
unregistered
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posted April 22, 2008 02:51 PM
what about hard aspects to neptune in synastry? this guy i care about doesnt have his nep at all aspected with me, whereas mine is heavily aspected with his personal planets but mostly squares...I wonder how that would play out... IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 811
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 22, 2008 03:02 PM
Long-term couples often have a scenario where one comes up with the ideas and the dreams, the other is the more practical one who points out where things can get unrealistic.Having someone say "that's a great idea but it is it workable?" might seem like your dreams are being crushed, but if you learn to trust them, their input can be valuable. At a guess, Winky, you are more the dreamer, he is more the one who says, "will it work?". IP: Logged |
Lana29865
unregistered
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posted April 23, 2008 12:31 AM
Thanks guys, here's a bunch of petunias for you all ;-)Yes, I agree tolerance is definitely a part of Neptune and maybe that is also sometimes falsely described as illusion. Gentle, gentle tolerance... What motivated my post are the astrological descriptions that always seem to talk about the downside of this planet, and not so often mention that Neptune in a relationship can be just beautiful. IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 152
From:
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted April 23, 2008 02:42 AM
Lana, I agree. Synastry interpretations focus far too much on the negatives of Neptune. More than any other planet, it seems to me. When I read them, I get annoyed and feel like that crying Britney Spears fan, wanting to say, "Leave Neptune alone!!!" I think people with strong Neptunes in their natal chart would need Neptune in synastry too. Neptunians highly value sweet, loving friendship and probably wouldn't be satisfied for the long haul if their relationship lacked that component. IP: Logged |
winky_winky
unregistered
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posted April 23, 2008 11:15 AM
snowflakes that is just SOOOOOOOOO insightful because neptune is on asc and i have had some problems in my life with mental illnes (nothing serious), but as u say it might creat too much illusion...they say neptune on the asc makes u almost psychic, i have suffered a great deal becuase of that... IP: Logged |
Bucketrider
unregistered
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posted April 23, 2008 11:34 AM
IMO, the outer planets do not feature in personal relationships as synastry aspects. I have neptune opp my moon with millions of people and it is not at issue in my personal relationships with people of my generation and never was.An honest close examination by anyone will reveal relationships they have had with neptune and other outer planets in synastric aspect with those planetary aspects not in play. Delusion can be part of any relationship with or without neptune. Erratic on and offness can be part of any relationship with or without uranus. Intensity and obssession can be part of any relationship with or without pluto. IP: Logged |
winky_winky
unregistered
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posted April 23, 2008 11:48 AM
bucket u reckon than that it is most important in syanstry to have a good look at personal planets and luminaries before anything else? just saying so because i read in a site that when a lot of outer planets feature in syanstry u might feel very uplifted by that person...neptune is said to point to deceit but how much of it surely is unsure, cause if u dont have a clear image surely that is some kind of deceit? Another thing that just came in to my mind, assuming personal ones are of utmost importance, how would u interpret a lack of aspects in the sun synastry of two people? very interesting indeed i figure........ IP: Logged |
Lana29865
unregistered
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posted April 24, 2008 03:03 AM
I would certainly take notice of all outer planet aspects to personal planets (plus axis and nodes and sensitive points). I wouldn't really place emphasis on aspects from outer planets to other outer planets (by 'outer' here I mean Uranus, Neptune and Pluto). This thread is/was about long term relationships, where aspects play quite a different role from that in casual acquaintances.
IP: Logged |
GeminiLover75
unregistered
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posted April 24, 2008 03:07 AM
quote:
"Leave Neptune alone!!!"
aaaaaaaaaah hahahahahahahahahahahaha!
omg. That just made my night.  IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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