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Author
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Topic: Determing Mutual Feelings?
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meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1987
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted April 21, 2008 06:17 PM
 
I'm just gonna get straight to the point- I'm in love with a co-worker. Madly, Deeply. I am so incredibly sensitive to this man, and miserable over him that i don't know how to deal with myself. My guess is that there are things in our synastry chart that explain this. How do i find out whether his feelings for me are platonic or romantic?IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 21, 2008 06:20 PM
can u post a chart? its easeir this waygo to astro.com and get one done then load it onto ur pc and paste it here IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1987
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted April 21, 2008 10:34 PM
Yeah sure, sorry!   IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 699
From: Bay Area, California, USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted April 21, 2008 11:16 PM
You're 18 and he is 40.  IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 699
From: Bay Area, California, USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted April 21, 2008 11:25 PM
You have Venus, Chiron and Jupiter conjunct in cancer, and this stellium is trining his Venus and Mercury and Neptune, so there is a strong emotional connection between you 2. The fact that you're both scorpio rising, gives you intensity and you do understand each other in a way that others can't.
ETA: It is amazing how your ascendants are conjunct. How you both have Mars on the descendant. Your 7th house is Taurus, ruled by Venus, but the presence of Mars there indicates an attraction to martial partners, and Scorpio has a lots of mars in it. So, I am not surprised that you would be drawn to each other. It looks like he already has children. Why are you miserable over him? Is he married? Anyway, my bet is that he feels the same. But he may not want to come out and say it, especially if he is married. He might be concerned about the age difference and also about his job. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 699
From: Bay Area, California, USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted April 21, 2008 11:39 PM
............IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1987
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted April 23, 2008 06:07 AM
I'm so sorry that i'm replying so late-work is a ***** . Anyways, yes, i realize that there is an age difference... and the fact that he is taken. I don't necessarily think i'm going to act on it. But it's just driving me up a wall at the fact that he's letting me romance him, so to speak, but i don't know if that's because he feels the same, or if it's just comforting to him.
I was thinking that his feelings toward me would be platonic because HE aspects MY Venus (Venus sex. Pluto, Moon conj. Venus) with major planets, but i don't really do the same. Plus the fact that He has personal planets in my relationship oriented houses, but only my Mars is in his relationship house (7th)....?IP: Logged |
wheelsofcheese
Knowflake Posts: 1472
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted April 23, 2008 06:30 AM
Astrology aside sweetheart, don't do anything. Terribly messy. And this is coming from someone who did act on something similar once, so I don't want to proselytise (sp??). It very near destroyed me and I regret it so much and don't feel very proud of myself. You think you feel miserable now...... Anyhoo. Take care. You're 18 and probably a fox to boot, as all young people are, and there are easier paths to love. I'm not denying you your feelings as I am sure they are genuine. But I am trying to flag up consequences to you that I didn't even imagine and still years later they are still having an affect.
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Belage
Knowflake Posts: 699
From: Bay Area, California, USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 10:30 AM
Meta, most likely, he is not going to do anything about it for now. Your Venus and Chiron are being trined right now by a wild, unpredictable, throwing-caution-to-the-wind, unconventional transiting planet called URANUS!!!!!!! The age difference and the fact and that your relationship has all the hallmark of forbiden and unconventionality is a big part of the Uranian attraction. In addition, transiting Jupiter is opposing same Venus and Chiron, lending a sense of excess to your feelings and also a lack of judgement. Sit tight, and let this pass. After Uranus and Jupiter move out of this aspect, your sanity will return to you and you will realize that you may have dodged a bullet. Take advantage of the Uranian transit to do unconventional things like learning something new, hang out with artists, dye your hair pink, whatever, lol. As for him, he is not doing anything right now, but unpredictable Uranus will conjunct his Venus after it moves out of trining yours, so don't be surprise if he start acting Uranian and coming on to you, but by that time, you might be in a different emotional space and not interested. IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 11:06 AM
gaaaaaaaaaaaasp he also aries better look at the aries in rships 1st and then we talk!IP: Logged |
belgz
Knowflake Posts: 719
From: sydney
Registered: Feb 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 11:18 AM
Yeah that uranus is quite funny. When it trined my sun i was in lurrrvvvvvvee heheheh and now i think geesss what was i thinking but back then my heart was racing i was magnetically and uncontrolably attracted and excited. I say enjoy it lol I mean its not like your gonna marry him and have babies just enjoy yourself i think you should have fun.  ))------------------
ASC: Virgo Sun: Cancer
Moon: Gemini
Mars: Cancer
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Leo IP: Logged |
LeoPisCan
Knowflake Posts: 31
From:
Registered: Feb 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 11:51 AM
Please be careful! You have a retrograde saturn opposite venus. This kind of placement can make you really insecure and down on yourself.You deserve better than a married man. There are so many quality unmarried guys around, go after one of them. My first thought when I see a huge age difference is "daddy issues" and with your stressed moon/sun/mars/pluto grand square you chart leads to that as well. Forgive me for being presumptuous but I've seen so many friends of mine unintentionally try to deal with their father issues through their relationships with men. They always end up getting hurt, and if the guy is married, you can hurt so many more people. IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 12:07 PM
OK. I know you don't need any more advice as the girls on this thread have done you a HUGE favour Just wanted to say - NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER date a married man for two reasons: 1) they NEVER EVER EVER EVER leave their wives
2) you wouldn't wish it to happen to you when you are married, and believe it or not Karma has a funny way of biting you on the butt. OK, there's a 3rd reason - you don't need to!!!!! You are 18 for ****'s sake! Go find yourself a nice guy whose life you won't set fire to and burn down to the ground. You will be hurting an entire family AND having an affair with not only him but his wife, his kids and their grandparents.
PLEASE DON'T DO IT! you will lose. ok?
cool.... good girl  IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 12:12 PM
yes but snowflakes look at the ASTROLOGICAL facts before pointing out to the will of a person, we know astro compels and limits much of our choices and this man...Look at venus and mercury in 5th in aspect to pluto and uranus, this guy needs FUN and LOVE to keep living..... Moon in 9th in the house of Sag, expansive so feels comfortable with INTERACTION not necessarily of the sexual kind but surely of the intellectual kind Neptune in 1st, house of 1st impressions, mask,etc... these people can mutate, as in pisces, to fit anybody´s dreeeeeeam......... OUR GAL: Sun in 9, so needs all that 9th house expansion like LIIIIIIIIIIGHT, she feeds from those kind of experiences More: Venus in 9, she relates when intellectual activity and the opening of new kinds of wisdom, broaden of horizons,etc... Moon in 3: will feel comfy when GATHERING info, needs info to calm subconscious will... More: Mars pulsating in 7th will place always importance and be forward-acting when faced with poss of mate,ideal, the lot... Well aspected mercury and mars... hmmmmmm go figure, .... Also
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winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 12:14 PM
sorry no also meta u tell us this rings any bells.........IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 12:14 PM
meta_4 (nice nic) One thing that you must be clear of is that if he is reciprocating the feelings, you are being manipulated. I don't mean to be mean, but the truth is that if he is taken, it means that he doesn't regard you highly enough to make himself fully available to you. This means he is having his bread buttered on both sides - so by engaging with him in a romantic way, you're enabling him to carry on playing his woman and you, because he will justify staying with his woman by saying "why should I give any of them up if I can have both of them". He might be doing this sub-consciously, and he might be a good man, but the fact remains that currently, he doesn't see it necessary to respect you or his woman enough to be exclusive to either of you.. even if it is emotionally and not physically. Save yourself and refrain from being dragged into his drama. He is being selfish. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 13873
From: CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted April 23, 2008 01:39 PM
A know an Aries man old enough to be my father who has admitted to cheating on his wife. Apparently some time ago it came out, and blew up in his face, and he was able to save his marriage and family. I've heard him allude to the fact that young women ought not to engage him in this manner (I think because he still doesn't really trust himself not to do something). With a Scorpio Ascendant both of you deal with transformation enough. I don't think you should pursue this. IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 4712
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted April 23, 2008 01:47 PM
........wow
Oh to be 18
IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 699
From: Bay Area, California, USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 02:18 PM
"yes but snowflakes look at the ASTROLOGICAL facts before pointing out to the will of a person, we know astro compels and limits much of our choices and this man..."Winky_Winky, I see what you mean. I think there is a compelling and fated quality to their relationship and I think they're going to go for it. They're both Scorpio rising, with Mars on the descendant. So they're not afraid of trouble. He has more to lose than she does, that's why he hasn't made the first move. Actually, I see more heartbreak for him than for her. She'll be over this when Uranus will move away. IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 02:45 PM
True Belage and Winky... true.It's a hot stove alright yet playing with fire ultimately, no?
I guess one cannot judge cos we don't know what his relationship with his wife is like IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 02:50 PM
well lara & snowflakes obviously the rship with his wife is not grand otherwise he wouldnt be playing around, unless he is playing around than i would say NO, cause u get hurt anyway. So that is up to the individual, but frankly, being 18 surely there is plenty of fish 4 her than 4 him... meaning no offense, 40 is not old, but if u are into a marriage is not the same as being 18 and having all ur life in front of u, going out, etc...
I´d say first find out if he doesnt think much of marriage by asking cunningly, if he thinks it is sacred than he is more into the institution than the "love" aspect... if kid are around 4 me is a no-no, but then again stars dont TOTALLY compel u , u choose ultimatelyIP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 02:53 PM
also snowflakes note saturn in his 5th, almost exiting, if this is right he by no means will take anything involving love too easily as in like, it will have structure and meaning 4 him, maybe his wife is a crush that he had once...people with saturn in 5th have many problems having fun, etc... i would like to direct all of u to a really good article i read from greene on saturn in 5th, but also that can be had from SAturn: a look at an old devil, or something like that is the name of the book... Lara any update on lovelife? Mine is pretty boring even though ive met this scorpio mooner that is quite misterious... IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 03:06 PM
Also, as a Scorpio rising myself, i think meta_4 will be inclined to learn from experience by going into something like this, getting burned and never doing it again.Being burned is a high probability, but it is not a definite, but from my limited experience, I would not pursue someone who has so much baggage because it plays with my insecurities. And hopefully the guy is not a superior because you might find yourself looking for another job when you find that he does this regularly or when it becomes a little uncomfortable. meta_4 - do some homework on the guy first. How much do you know about him to guarantee that he does not flirt with young employees, that you're not just a number in his many conquests? IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 04:03 PM
I cannot see the benefit of learning through experience by breaking up a marriage, sorry!I think its exceptionally selfish behaviour to even contemplate anything with a married man. Winky - all great thanks getting on a plane tomorrow to go see him for a few days x
IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 04:25 PM
It is a huge price for a lesson, but that will depend on her I suppose.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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