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Author
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Topic: how do i get over him?
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kaira
Knowflake Posts: 218
From:
Registered: Sep 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 03:07 PM
 
i have Venus in Scorpio in the 7th, conjunct Pluto. my Mars in Libra doesn't want to let him go. what do i do? how do i get over someone i put my life and soul into?IP: Logged |
augentier
Knowflake Posts: 893
From: KS
Registered: Nov 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 03:24 PM
i think it's the venus in scorp that doesnt wanna let go..IP: Logged |
Inner depths
Knowflake Posts: 545
From: The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth City!
Registered: May 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 03:34 PM
Hmmmmm, maybe put some time and space between you and him. Redirect your focus and I know Scorp influences have an intense focus. Do something for yourself and do the opposite to Libra - Aries independence and wonder of adventure.I have a Cancaer moon and it is extremely tough to let go at times and I have had to learn how to release feelings etc...even people who were close to me heart. As time passes you will move on and find that possibly there is a scared place in your heart for him. (My first true love is still in my heart and we split back in Sept of 95). My 2 cents worth! ID IP: Logged |
kaira
Knowflake Posts: 218
From:
Registered: Sep 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 03:46 PM
i gave him so much love, attention, i made him my best friend, my everything, i made him my number one priority, he was soo important to me. my days were just centered around him and loving him.how do i stop that? do you think he realises how much energy i gave, how much of my heart and soul i let him have? IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 23, 2008 03:56 PM
gasp kaira keep busy and look at transits that might help also break off ALL contact that helped me a lot...IP: Logged |
kaira
Knowflake Posts: 218
From:
Registered: Sep 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 03:59 PM
i don't know how to look at transits, and breaking off all contact seems soo impossible for me. i always give in to a text telling him i miss him...  i feel so weak. IP: Logged |
Inner depths
Knowflake Posts: 545
From: The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth City!
Registered: May 2006
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posted April 24, 2008 10:39 AM
You got to fall apart before you can pick up the pieces. A break up is like a death - both are not easy to easy to deal with. It's gonna really hurt for a while. I find having a water venus is the haredst of all to let go of a past love. I find they do put their all into it and when things break up, it doesn't leave any good feelings - sort of like one's heart being ripped out and used for tennis practise. If you need to get your feelings out each day - have a good cry. Write in a journal. With a break up you're going through the grieving process - it's gonna be extremely painful and soooooooooooo unbearable for a while. I believe in you and know that you will make it - one day at a time. You'll find a way to cope and to move on. I can't really tell you just how exactly to let go cause all our answers are within and folks usually find solutions to their own issues. I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting so much and I wish you peace and healing.... IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 24, 2008 12:00 PM
kaira why do u have problems breaking off all contact? tell u what unless u do so u are going to stretch it, when i went thru my last breakup not long ago i alienated everybody around me because i decided to turn off my mobile because i knew he would be calling wanting to exert his power over me... well u have to respect urself more, i was like a doormat and i am strongly AIR-ruled... so i should be more detached...But LOL love is tough! they say a break up has three phases: anger, sadness and ... i have forgotten now... anyway another good tip is not to try to run away but i read in a self help book that the more u try to go away the more it will haunt u... so if u are unable just do what u feel like and when u hit rock bottom u will naturally swim up again..that´s life and u will recover... Tell u what it took me a lot of tears and pain to put that phone to rest but my life is so changed... i was in agony honest.. gr.............. men! IP: Logged |
stillatlarge
Knowflake Posts: 609
From: TX. USA
Registered: Apr 2007
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posted April 24, 2008 01:53 PM
yada yada yada. TIME is the only thing that will change it. One day you WILL wake up to the birds singing again as impossible as that is to believe right now. I'm not making light of it. I've just been through it more than once and that's what I've found. There was nothing and nobody who could help. EXCEPT maybe finding someone else to take your mind off it but that's easier said than done. It's just a dark night of the soul kind of thing that we all have to go through one time or another. Take comfort in knowing it WILL pass. I assure you it WILL. I wish I could offer more. Good luck.IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 25, 2008 10:00 AM
it is difficult especially if you cannot avoid seeing him, like being workmates, classmates, etc. what works for me is having a good cry and then praying REAL hard. i pray for God to take away the pain and make me stronger so i can bear it till it's completely gone. do not make contact with him. doing anything for two full weeks will make it a habit. everytime you feel the urge, do something else that will take your mind off him. so if you are successful in not calling/texting him for 14 days then you are on the road to full recovery. IP: Logged |
kaira
Knowflake Posts: 218
From:
Registered: Sep 2006
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posted April 27, 2008 09:07 AM
thank you guys SO MUCH! you have no idea how much your comments have taken an impact on me, and made me stronger. i haven't made any contact with him for 3 days, today being the 4th day i plan not to contact him, and somehow it seems so much less painful than i imagined. i plan on not contacing him for a while, until i'm ready to. i guess its sunk in that it really is over, and not some argument we can make up for the next day...again, thank you all so much. i appreciate this more than anything. IP: Logged |
GemGemGem
Knowflake Posts: 341
From:
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 09:14 AM
Venus in Scorpio people usually have a very difficult time letting go of past loves. They are usually even the ones to stay in a relationship that is probably not the best for them.My best friend has Venus is Scorpio, and when her and her college boyfriend broke up, she could not get over him for years. Finally I told her to get her a** out of bed, and stop sulking and go travel somewhere, anywhere. Just get on a plane and change her surroundings. She listened and got on a plane to London for an artist retreat. On the flight back, she was seated next to an amazing, guy, who she is now married to, with a beautiful son. The moral of the story:
This guy you can't seem to get over...he is not the last man you are going to love!
And a change of scenery can do wonders! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck! IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 09:20 AM
gem u are killing me, what about venus in gemini? i am that and since i havent seen my crush 2 months ago i still go crazayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...u´d think venus gem would be happy to let go and engage in new challenges. well apparently not........ IP: Logged |
mblover
Knowflake Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Nov 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 10:44 AM
Interpreting why you can't get over someone based on Venus's sign doesn't seem very helpful to me.Looking at Moon, Neptune, 4th house, 12th house would help. IP: Logged |
EighthMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1400
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 10:53 AM
Her Venus in Scorpio in the 7th conjuncts Pluto. This adds a bit of "can't let go-edness" to her Venus, don'tcha think? I agree that looking at a Venus sign in seclusion doesn't give much info, though.Kaira...what contacts do your Venus/Pluto make in synastry? That's most likely where you'll find the astrological answer. However, I'm with those that suggested a change in routine and surroundings. That ALWAYS helps!!!  8th IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 11:04 AM
mblover why do u stress 4th and 12th houses please?do u mean someone u are very familiar with u dont want to let go? ¿? IP: Logged |
GemGemGem
Knowflake Posts: 341
From:
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 11:12 AM
Winky_Winky, how long were you guys together?
At 2 months I think it's normal not to be over him yet. I agree, you can't look solely at the venus sign. I was just speaking from an experience with a friend who happened to have Scorpio in Venus. Anyone you felt a strong love and bond with will take a long time to get over. You may be a Venus Gem, but that doesn't mean you will forget him the day after the breakup. Gems are not THAT detached. I am all for travel and experiencing new things right now. Learning and experiencing new things and places will help you move on. Good luck with everything! IP: Logged |
kaira
Knowflake Posts: 218
From:
Registered: Sep 2006
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posted April 27, 2008 11:18 AM
mblover - my moon is in Leo in the 6th house, my neptune is in Capricorn in the 10th house, my 4th house is in Cancer, and my 12th house is in Aquarius
EighthMoon - my venus conjuncts his pluto, his venus in Aquarius sqaures my pluto.
and i will take into consideration changing my routine, and travelling, although it seems very hard for me to get anything done lately.
thank you all again.
IP: Logged |
Inner depths
Knowflake Posts: 545
From: The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth City!
Registered: May 2006
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posted April 27, 2008 11:20 AM
I find with some folks, they are not even over their first love - for example My mother is not really over my father. They met when they were young and were married for 10 years and had 2 children. He cheated on her and the relationship broke down. They have been apart for nearly 30 years and she still hurts....On another note - I was with my first true love for almost 18 months and then we parted ways. It hurt so bad in the beginning and I found myself in a hospital...that was 14 years ago...I still fondly think of him and know that there is a small piece of my heart that is still there for him. I guess my point is, instead of being a typical Gem riser and confusing folks with all the words etc....some times a person makes a deep imapct on the heart and if this is the case where one will never forget another - take the good and fun memories and move forward and remember that you actually LIVED life and had many adventures that you soon won't forget. This is my other take on it... ID IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 27, 2008 03:23 PM
inner, 30 years! i am assuming she never remarried?i know of a 65-year old lady who left her 2nd husband after he cheated on her(when she turned 40). she remarried but everybody knew, even the 3rd husband, that she would never love anyone as much as she loved the 2nd hubby. the 2nd husband also claims up to now that he has not found anyone that could take her place in his heart. she tells people that she will only agree to see him at his funeral. ngiiii!  IP: Logged |
Inner depths
Knowflake Posts: 545
From: The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth City!
Registered: May 2006
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posted April 27, 2008 03:37 PM
inner, 30 years! i am assuming she never remarried?
She remarried and is miserable in her marriage. She keeps on saying that things would have been a lot different in her life is they were still together and how my father was more her type.
But knowing how my father is I'm amazed he lasted that long. There would have been no way of him settling down for life - though now he has a third wife that he has been with for 10 years and he has resigned himself to misery of having a ball and chain... My mother longs to be with an outgoing man and a highly active social life with lots of friends.....though she ended up with a grumpy hermit. complicated stuff! ID IP: Logged |
winky_winky
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 03:43 PM
inner+snowflkes not long really, i met this guy october last year...but it is not over yet...We were together nearly 5 months but he wont let me go... He cheated on me after 3 months, then promised me the world, i believed him, and then it went on and on ... do u think gem moons are likely to lead double lives? I think any rship that is interrupted is likely to leave a scar, with my 10-year rship i am totally over because it just run its course, but with some people u never seem to finish the business... i often look at astrology to find un-answerable questions, like why this rship had to end yet he still phones and feels 4 me... IP: Logged |
EighthMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1400
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 03:44 PM
Kaira,Pluto contacts...especially to Venus and Moon are pretty "obsessive." The only thing that eases it is time and distance...but in truth, you may never completely get over him. I've found this to be true with unrequited love as well as short or long term relationships. When someone can't forget another, it's usually Pluto's involvement. Your Pluto being in Scorpio conjunct his and his also making a square to yours is pretty intense stuff. Plan a trip and add some new hobbies. Treat yourself and learn about something you've always wanted to know more of. Spend time with friends, and I'm still for the travel to a new place option! All the best to you!
8th IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 27, 2008 03:55 PM
winky,with a gemini moon man you should not be predictable. i read somewhere that the relationship will last longer if there is always something new or different about you. it gives him the feeling that he goes out with different women. you should constantly change something about your hair, your fashion style, etc. result: he doesn't get bored with you. IP: Logged |
EighthMoon
Knowflake Posts: 1400
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted April 27, 2008 03:58 PM
Kaira,I just read this thread and I think it will shed more light on your connection.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/011480.html 8th IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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