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Author
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Topic: Well, I've managed to completely crush a Cancer man
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Battle of Evermore
Knowflake Posts: 1216
From:
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted April 24, 2008 02:40 PM
 
Yeeeeepppp... I feel like a jerk... I didn't actually realize that they took things THAT hard. You would think that I cut open his chest and ripped out his heart. At the moment I'm trying to console him, but this is more difficult than I thought it would be. Does anyone have any advice to nursing a Cancer's wounded emotions? I don't want him to hate my guts and think I'm a heartless person forever. I did something wrong, but he is slightly overreacting.IP: Logged |
bluegreyeyes
Knowflake Posts: 184
From: New York, NY USA
Registered: Mar 2007
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posted April 24, 2008 04:06 PM
Haha, there seems to be a bit of Cancer fever on these boards lately.I, too, am on the verge of letting go of a Cancer man, but he makes it difficult because he's SO sensitive "why do you hate me?" "why are you ignoring me?" "I'm scared you don't like me anymore". I guess my advice would be maternal (they've got a case of the Oedipus complex) about things. Maybe make him some food to cheer him up? They're foodies... And maybe say something super sappy like "i'll never meet anyone like you" (hey, that can be taken a # of different ways and a Cancer would probably eat it up). ------------------
*Christina*
Aquarius SUN
Gemini MOON
Aries ASC IP: Logged |
mblover
Knowflake Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Nov 2007
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posted April 24, 2008 08:09 PM
Battle of Evermore - Sudden moodiness and over emotoinal reactions are pretty difficult parts to deal with Cancers. I would recommend you to send a simple Sorry or I care about you type of message. And give the Cancer a few days. Generally, they find a need to call back because they find the Fear of not communicating as well (emptiness).IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2819
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 25, 2008 08:24 AM
Dont try !
we go by a simple rule 'forgive but dont forget ! '
Personally i dont forget things , i
might move on , never again take it up but....best way , be honest say sorry , never repeat but dont expect him to forget specially if he counted you as agood friend . IP: Logged |
mblover
Knowflake Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Nov 2007
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posted April 25, 2008 08:40 AM
Hi cancergg and other Cancers on the board, My GF is a Cancer. Could you give some insight on what I can do to make her forget anything that may have HURT her (not only by me but by others too)? I have followed quite a bit - and - you are right - she will forgive as soon an honest apology comes. But, how can you also make her FORGET? DO I create more happy memories with her? What can be done?IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted April 25, 2008 08:57 AM
mblover - I am not a Cancer Sun, but I consider myself very Cancerian because I am a Cancer Moon conjunct my MC which makes my cancer qualities stronger.I can NEVER forget! I can forgive. I will be cordial to you after you have hurt me, but things can never be the same with us again. I can put it aside, but I can't forget it. I know you could be sincere in your apologies, but I ask... did you plan to hurt me the first time? If so, then why would you be so cruel? Then I would keep a distance from you because only a sick person can plan to hurt another intentionally... If you say you didn't plan to hurt me, then I ask... how can you say you'll never do it again if you didn't know you will do it the first time? I know that you are capable of hurting me, because of your past actions, so I will always view you as a potential threat, and I find it difficult to forget. So, for me, once hurt, it usually means we have to go our separate ways, or keep at a friendly distance. I have not forgotten anything in my life. I might seem like I haven't seen it but I have filed it. It is a bad quality and I am working on it. I merely put it aside and then avoided going near it in case it bites me again. I file it in my mind as things to keep away from. But, this could be the Scorpio Asc, Mars, Jup in me speaking. But I think my Cancer Moon makes me very sensitive to hurt also, so it could be the Moon too. i think this moon makes me feel mundane things deeply. added: I have 3 very close Cancer friends and they share the same sentiments as me, which makes me think that it could be the Cancer Moon that makes me unable to forget, but willing to forgive. IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 25, 2008 08:59 AM
ah, so Cancer and Scorpio are similar in that they both can forgive, but cannot forgive...i wonder if the other water sign Pisces is like that... IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Moderator Posts: 1785
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted April 25, 2008 09:32 AM
Synchronisity strikes again!! My Cancer and I had a little bit of a row last night... totally my fault for pre-emptively trying to nip something in the butt that wasn't really there in the first place.. and of course I was just putting my foot in it and he said "why would you have just said that? It didn't even occur to me, and now I have to wonder if you said that because YOU were thinking it..." So... after me getting fired up and bolting to my car in a desperate escape, he calmly walked to me and said "please come inside so we can talk about this..." We talked it out (he's so amazingly intuitive, and never lets me walk away from feeling something) and he told me... THIS IS HUGE FOR A CANCER: "I trust you more than any woman I've ever known... There will always be that 1% of me that just can't, but that's as much as I ever have" eek2! They can forgive... but their sensitivity can be hard if you are not used to it... IP: Logged |
mblover
Knowflake Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Nov 2007
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posted April 25, 2008 10:04 AM
deuxantares, Agree with you on Never Forgetting is a trait of Cancer and Scorpios. There is a difference though. Cancers will forgive for honest apology. But, Scorpio will NOT forgive. Scorp will retaliate to even out any damage. I also agree that Pisces never forget any damage done to them. In fact, that's what they use to recognize their Soul - sacrifices. Also watch their passive aggressiveness. You tell them you are a cheater - they will go and cheat. You tell them you are not emotional - they will retreat and remain cold. IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 25, 2008 10:32 AM
mblover, thank you for the response...i am scorpio sun and moon. i forgive, but i do not forget. i used to burn bridges when someone wronged me, but now that i'm older and wiser i just charge everything to karma. i was never into the revenge thing, maybe it's because of my libra venus and mars, plus my gemini ascendant or maybe becoz of some house placements. the beauty about this NOT FORGETTING thing is that i think scorpios also do not forget the good things that other people do to them. the unevolved scorpio: whatever you do to me, whether good or bad, i will return to you twofold. IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted April 25, 2008 11:03 AM
deuxantares - very true. Stars are just stars at the end of the day, and our will is stronger than their influence, even though it might not seem like it at times. Scorpios don't forget the good things too. I agree. IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 25, 2008 11:48 AM
Unmoved, thanks for the response.  This may be off-topic. May i ask why you call yourself Unmoved? Does it have anything to do with astrology? IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted April 25, 2008 11:52 AM
No - yes and no. It's taken from a metaphysical term coined by Aristotle of the created-creator called The Unmoved Mover. I just took one half of the name here on LL because I use the full name elsewhere. Some have said it resonates earth from my Sun sign but that's not where I got it from. IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2819
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 25, 2008 12:33 PM
MBlover , i think Unmoved answered your question very beautifully (thanks Unmoved! )
for good or bad , we dont forget . so better carry on with life , dont repeat the same things , it will be all fine .
the cancer might passively bring up the topic ,even taunt but if your apology was honest . you wont face any problem . :::for pre-emptively trying to nip something in the butt ::: but how could you do that in the butt ! IP: Logged |
Battle of Evermore
Knowflake Posts: 1216
From:
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted April 25, 2008 02:26 PM
Yes, that is exactly what he said, "I forgive, but I don't forget." Unfortunately for me, he also has Scorpio rising, which makes it even worse. I have no water but Pluto in Scorp in my chart, and I need to be around water signs, but sometimes they make this Virgo feel very constricted when they get overemotional and I can't understand why they just can't see things more objectively. My apology was honest, and I'm doing everything within reason to make him forgive me, but he's getting to the point where he seems like he's trying to manipulate me into making things go his way. Like I said, I still think his reaction to the whole thing went overboard. I think that water signs get an image of you, and if it is good and you do something to disturb their perfect image, they are completely shocked. "GOOD LORD, this saintly woman would never do anything wrong! That's like seeing Mother Teresa in Chippendales! If she's done one thing wrong, I must not know her like I thought I did and she must have many more bad traits that i've overlooked!"ghanima81~ Yes, they are so sensitive! You can't do anything without hurting their feelings, which frustrates me. Even if it wasn't about them in the first place, they take it as personal like you were actually trying to hurt them. They will talk it out, but it takes a whole lot of talking. I guess they really don't let you walk away from feelings, which is good, but sometimes I would like to. IP: Logged |
blue moon
Moderator Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted April 25, 2008 04:29 PM
Forgive but Don't Forget ~ I'm in that gang. It's the Scorpio Rising effect. Cancers like honest apologies. That's fair enough if they deserve one. Emotional manipulation isn't on though. In this situation I think I might apologise for hurting his feelings and leave it at that. If it helps, I dumped a Cancer boy about 20 years ago and I still feel bad about it. I doubt he does, a saw him a couple of years after and he seemed quite moderately pleased to see and didn't seem to bear any scars. IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2819
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 26, 2008 04:53 AM
But that in no way means , he forgot !
being respective and loving is a cancer thing and he was (may be)just being that . IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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