Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted May 01, 2008 12:24 PM         

---

Just being curious here. It's a topic that has come up on a few threads, the man (or woman) who just won't listen to the word NO. How do you turn them down or say it's over? How does it work for you? And how does it tie in to your chart? I'm thinking 5th house in particular, maybe Venus.

Me, well, I'm married. So if I point this out politely to an interested party, they have an avenue to back out with grace. Amazingly (and if you could see me you would be even more amazed) it has been known for persistent admirers to go beyond this point, an example being: do you think your marriage vows are sacred? No, I said, I had a civil wedding. Then I said something rather rude.

You see I have Aries on the cusp of my 5th. I think that once a polite refusal has been offered, ignoring this (and the fact I have committed myself elsewhere) gives me a free pass to be blunt. Mars on my chart is Square Venus on the Descendant. So I can be a sucker, but really I don't like bad manners. Pressing your attentions on a married person is bad manners, in my view.

I particularly dislike men who try aggression. Mars in Aquarius ~ I don't like being pushed around. It's a favourite tactic (as I recall LOL) but it always switches me right off.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1136
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 01, 2008 12:28 PM         

---

I just tell the interested party straight out that I am not interested, and if they ask why, I give them the reason(s).

IP: Logged

Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted May 01, 2008 12:31 PM         

---

But what if they don't accept that and keep pestering you?

That is the point I could unleash the Scorpion's sting. Mars is Square Scorpio Ascendant on my chart.

Also, I have a sturdily constructed brother who was handy at boxing in his youth. He wouldn't like his sister to be pestered and would be happy to have a little word. It's never come to that though. Yet. Don't think anyone would bother these days, so all hypothetical.

IP: Logged

Posts: 1136
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 01, 2008 12:34 PM         

---

If they keep pestering me, I totally ignore them and hope they get the message-works all the time!

IP: Logged

Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted May 01, 2008 12:37 PM         

---

I find it easy to say 'no' when it is a new person with no history because there is less emotion, meaning I don't care if they jump off a bridge because of my refusal. I can't say the same if it's someone who I've had a relationship with. There it gets tricky.

IP: Logged

Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted May 01, 2008 12:42 PM         

---

Mmm, I think here similarly I would be try to be considerate but if my wishes weren't taken into account I would probably get annoyed. It's too much like men getting aggressive to get what they want in the first place.

IP: Logged

Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007

posted May 01, 2008 01:19 PM         

---

This is very difficult i am very attracted to this man but he is very flirty and unfaithful, so i told him to stop phoning me but he will not oblige.....gr...........

Kill him?

IP: Logged

Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006

posted May 01, 2008 01:23 PM         

---

Just tell them to sod off!!! how dare they presume that you wish to give them your precious time.

If they don't listen, totally ignore them - it works wonders

IP: Logged

Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007

posted May 01, 2008 02:37 PM         

---

laraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yuhiiiiiiiiiiiii!
How was it with ur man in the trip...

Sorry snowflakes for interrupting the thread, but lara et al, ignoring someone u have feelings for but do sincerely believe it is not going to work is difficult indeed...dunno how much astro can help here, he is aries, just hates being ignored, no greater sin towards an aries than this i believe

IP: Logged

Posts: 4497
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006

posted May 01, 2008 03:10 PM         

---

I can pretty rough on those that I don't want. I either disappear or make myself highly unavailable (aqu) and if they keep on pestering me and persist despite my signal, I yell at them and make it verbally very clear that I'm not interested (aries ac, gem mars/3rd).

Simple.

IP: Logged

Posts: 132
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2008

posted May 01, 2008 03:33 PM         

---

I don't know if it has anything to do with my sign or not, but I have a hard time when it comes to ending relationships.
What about someone not even talking to you and telling you how they feel? I have a feeling someone in my life doesn't want to be friends flat out.. but he has opted to ignore me instead of telling me his wishes. If he would just come out and tell me... hey, I don't want to be your friend. I'd probably just go away. But I hate being ignored. I can't bring closure to all the time and money I've invested in our relationship without him communicating! So I continue to IM him and text him hoping for a response. I can't get him out of my head with out closure...does that make sense?

IP: Logged

Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006

posted May 01, 2008 04:19 PM         

---

Hey winky

My trip was BRILLIANT!!!! Can't wait to go back... so loved up right now

Yeah, l agree that ignoring is not easy but sometimes you have to, to get your point across. Cruel to be kind etc etc. How is it all going with you and your man? xx

IP: Logged

Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007

posted May 01, 2008 04:29 PM         

---

lara i am so happy 4 u is this the leo?

my story is no story terrible he keeps phoning and as i was saying in this thread there is no way of telling him to f*** off he just wont listen real proud this aries! yet he is seeing someone else and being a real pain by telling me how much he still cares,etc...

tell u what though with my venus mars conj in 7th i seem to be courting trouble permanently and have now 2 guys more after me... one is pisces sun with moon in cappy and the other gem sun with moon in scorp what u reckon?

IP: Logged

Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006

posted May 01, 2008 04:34 PM         

---

yes, its the leo

l adore him.... just hope his sag moon allows him to commit at some point LOL

hmmm... pisces/cap sounds interesting. Which one do you like the most?

IP: Logged

Posts: 574
From: SPAIN
Registered: Oct 2007

posted May 01, 2008 04:49 PM         

---

lara i think his sag moon, on the contrary, might work in favour as u seem to be a very free person and favor the pall-y rships more than being restrained....just be sure u indulge him in those trips and the rest...well u let us know...

to be quite honest the pisces sun is rather well...romantic...but u can see his cappy moon shining through because he is stern and has problems opening up...there seems to be a lack of chemistry but i find the rship (only friends as yet) so soothing and calm...

the scorp moon, on the contrary, is quite intense, and he wants to visit soon...

But my HEART is with the ARIES sun, libra asc and gem moon, i told u about ages ago, the connection was soooooooo intense, yet we have fallen apart and he keeps phoning me even though he seems to be enjoying some other companies... GASP

I should not say as my 7th house gemini and venus in gemini keeps me contented what with so many suitors i have a pick, must be the gemini present everywhere in my chart...even though i thought i would be all loved up, married and with three kids by now...LOOK AT ME...jeje...any thoughts, snowflakes?

IP: Logged

Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006

posted May 02, 2008 06:41 PM         

---

if i feel that someone i am not interested in is interested in me, i activate my "dont-come-near-me" shield. LOL.

if they are persistent, i politely say i am not available (even if i am). the death stare is my next weapon.

(scorpio sun/moon, sagittarius mercury, libra venus/mars)

IP: Logged

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: Dec 2007

posted May 02, 2008 06:54 PM         

---

quote:

---

if i feel that someone i am not interested in is interested in me, i activate my "dont-come-near-me" shield. LOL.

if they are persistent, i politely say i am not available (even if i am). the death stare is my next weapon.

---

LOL!!! I use the "don't-come-near-me" shield too! I also use it when I'm meeting someone at a club and they haven't yet arrived. AND, I also use my Scorpio rising death stare to my advantage as well. Usually it works...

However, if it doesn't, I do one of two things: if I think he's harmless I might play with him a bit (Leo Mars) just for fun... Then I'll feel bad about it (Virgo Sun, Mercury, and Venus). OR, if I think he's more of the stalker type, I'll politely refuse his advances or ignore him entirely. Just throw some cold water on the whole situation.

------------------
Virgo Sun/Aries Moon/Scorpio Rising

IP: Logged

Posts: 3823
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted May 03, 2008 08:43 AM         

---

that kind of persistence is just asking for pepper spray

IP: Logged

Posts: 228
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2006

posted May 03, 2008 02:53 PM         

---

Tell them you are gay!

IP: Logged

Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006

posted May 03, 2008 06:16 PM         

---

weird suggestion: tell them you are in a hurry to go have a medical check-up because your ex has been diagnosed with HIV and you think you might have been infected?

IP: Logged

Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006

posted May 03, 2008 06:45 PM         

---

LOL

yeah, either that or you have to go change your incontinence pad.

IP: Logged

Posts: 351
From: not home
Registered: Apr 2008

posted May 03, 2008 07:37 PM         

---

i have a hard time being hard on them. i'm too nice so i'm afraid of being rude, though i really don't have to think that way. if a guy friend's with me, he steps in for me. if he doesn't notice, i ran behind to his back, and if he's not there, i ran away with my girlfriend. if no one's with me, i make myself endure the conversation with the guy without being too nice or too rude, and later regret wasting my night doing something i didn't enjoy at all...

IP: Logged

Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006

posted May 04, 2008 12:23 AM         

---

"yeah, either that or you have to go change your incontinence pad."

LOL

IP: Logged