posted May 08, 2008 07:18 AM         

She might not call you on it.....but she'll be very grateful. You really can't take the anxiety out of her, so let her be as anxious as she wants- it's her way of coping.

posted May 08, 2008 08:02 AM         

Laughter is one of the best gifts when times are tough, so maybe watch some comedies together.

I don't know if she's feeling up to it, but every Virgo I know is a board game or video game fanatic. Maybe break out some Scrabble or Clue, could be a fun distraction from her pain.

posted May 08, 2008 05:20 PM         

When I am anxious and worried, afraid or panicked, I prefer for someone NOT to tell me to stop doing those things. I hate it when someone tells me to relax because I am sure that if i could relax I would.

So, the way my friends and family comfort me is by letting me rant on and rave on, and pace up and down and be all that I feel like being. So, it helps to just listen and add some examples of how you know how i feel. That helps.

Also, I find it good to add humour in the mix when I am nervous. Or to distract me by putting my attention on something else that is humourous. So, I am ashamed to say this, but a jiucy piece of funny gossip really calms my nerves. I don't like personal gossip, but tell me something silly about someone abstract that did something shocking or funny. Telling me about OMG moments while I am in a crisis can calm me down and give me a laugh so that I can sigh some relief from being taken away from my own problems.

Don't make me do something wild, or get me alcohol, to calm me because (I don't know if this is just me) but I prefer to endure through a problem sober.

Also, don't be weepy about my crisis because that makes me feel worse. When I am in a crisis, and I have chosen to reveal it to the world, it means that I want to switch roles of being the damage controller and let someone else be that, so being weepy means that I have to assume a position of strength and comfort you now, which if I am stressed, I do not have the strength for such.

Don't tell me about other people with bigger problems than mine either because it says to me that you are belittling my problem.

So, just listen, let her panic, so that she can take it out, and she will be grateful for being there for her, even if you didn't do anything.

If she is out of strength, take the load of by letting some else take care of her responsibilities. NOT ALL, but the little ones. Help her clean around the house and let someone else cook for her, etc. This will allow her to just stress all she likes until she gets sick of it because she can't avoid it once she has started. She needs to let it out now.

posted May 08, 2008 07:07 PM         

quote:

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or get me alcohol, to calm me because (I don't know if this is just me) but I prefer to endure through a problem sober.

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Oh me too! I wonder if it's the Virgo/Scorpio thing, but if I'm really depressed or upset about something, I won't drink period. It doesn't make me happier, it just makes me feel crappy. Especially since, usually, when I'm stressed out my stomach ties up in knots, and I don't want to eat, much less drink anything.

Anyway, to answer the original question...

For me, humor is always the key. A lot of the time if I've been obsessing or worrying over a problem a lot, I don't even want to vent about it, because that just brings those worries back to the surface. I just want to be distracted by my friends, have a little fun, and laugh a little (or a lot ).