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Author Topic:   I just cant belive this!
strtnash
Knowflake

Posts: 71
From: ohio
Registered: Jul 2007

posted May 22, 2008 10:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for strtnash     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Folks, to all my friends here I need to change my profile here and I wont be posting anymore using the profile I am using currently.

I am so mad, to the extent my hands are trembling in anger as i am typing this. I will of course have to edit this one i am typing right now and leave a * in a day or two.

My roommate who i treated like a close friend of mine sharing my innermost secrets and those things which i hold dearly to my life proved that I am wrong all the way. I heard him talking to his friend unaware of the fact that I am home. He was telling his friend about my issues and he goes about how he is not able to wait for me to fall flat on my face so that my big mouth would close for ever and he said so much more which i don't want to elaborate.

This is after me lending him all the money i had to spend for this month. I helped him because i thought he needed help and well i deserve what he gave me for doing some thing like that.

Dont we all here think that what we give is what we get back, then why its working the opposite way to me. I deserve it, i just deserve it completely for foolishly paining myself to stand behind him when ever he needed.

Sorry for the rant, i am just letting myself go. To my friends here, since he knows everything about me now, i will use a different profile and I will slowly make you all understand that its me.

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jane
Knowflake

Posts: 2000
From:
Registered: Nov 2006

posted May 22, 2008 11:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message

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librasunleomoon
Knowflake

Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted May 23, 2008 01:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for librasunleomoon     Edit/Delete Message

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librasunleomoon
Knowflake

Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted May 23, 2008 01:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for librasunleomoon     Edit/Delete Message
it sucks when people disappoint...

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strtnash
Knowflake

Posts: 71
From: ohio
Registered: Jul 2007

posted May 23, 2008 01:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for strtnash     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks guys.

i should thank god for letting me know what kind of a guy he is after two years.

I still cant believe how well he can act, and all his fakeness, which comes so naturally to him. I am just praying to get more strength and not to completely lose faith that people can be genuinely good.

I will get my money back, actors like him dont need us.

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blue moon
Moderator

Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted May 23, 2008 01:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
"Don't we all here think that we give what we give back?"

No, not everyone, because I don't. It might be a comforting world view but I believe in the world is far more random, bad things happen to people who don't deserve it.

If you told him things in confidence and he repeated them behind your back, you did not deserve it, and it simply isn't acceptable behaviour. As for slagging you off in that way, well, they say listeners never hear well of themselves. Maybe there he is letting off some steam because he does care for you in some inadequate way.

Aside from your identity change have you got any plans to do anything else in this situation? Are you going to talk to him about this?

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Natural111
Knowflake

Posts: 387
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Sep 2006

posted May 23, 2008 01:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Natural111     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with Blue Moon. You should tell him what you heard, and LISTEN to what he has to say. Not excusing the guy. And what he said behind your back is not acceptable. But at least make him say it to YOU. Look you in the eye, and say it.

But do this, only if you can realize, that his words are formed from his mind. And only if you truly know YOURSELF, the good and the bad, and where you've been and going. Because I think you have to have thick skin and know thyself when you stand face to face with people who are constructing negative images of you.

But to wish you ill to someone else behind your back...

Unless...

Is he a guy and you're a girl, and was he talking to another girl...???

Guys do that, because he knows the other girl is uncomfortable with you being there. So he talks you down, and she may let him into her pants for the night...
The thing is, you weren't supposed to hear it.

Guys are that---

I wouldn't believe it until I started having to read a heavy stream of their bad scripts.

They're momentary. And will make themselves feel anything for the moment to get what they want.

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 2819
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted May 23, 2008 02:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
I want you to slap your socalled friend !
and tell him , how he betrayed you , also tell him this doesn't make you a bitter person but just exposes his cheapness.

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heart cakes
Knowflake

Posts: 1561
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted May 23, 2008 02:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for heart cakes     Edit/Delete Message
as trite as this may sound, don't forget that this is HIM. it really sucks though if you considered him a friend. i've gotten tangled up witha couple big time liars/actors in the past and now i know what to look out for (flattery, even subtly, is the enemy! also a feeling of being sucked out of yourself while around them, even if their face seems totally placid and kind, it's just an energy). you can learn from this, and thank god you know now, you know? it's good to get away from these creeps and find true friends. get your money back, and if you can face him and see if you can get him to explain himself, it may help. but don't get sucked in by any more stupid lies, if he tries!

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strtnash
Knowflake

Posts: 71
From: ohio
Registered: Jul 2007

posted May 23, 2008 01:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for strtnash     Edit/Delete Message
If there is one reason that makes me proud of being a part of LL, it is the kind of people who are here, who have the time to step in and offer their point of view. Every idea is so different, so different to the extent that it always clears the murky waters. And it’s good to feel that we are not alone.

blue moon,
-------------
I agree with you, I think its time for me to accept the fact that bad things happen to people even when they do a lot of good. It’s just an illusion I keep around myself so that I don’t do horrible mistakes.

The things i have told him are those things which i hold so private and so close to me, which not even my mom knows(she is my best friend). I feel so dumb now for doing that.

And yes I will definitely talk to him about this, my Pisces rising and Scorpio moon doesn’t give me that kind of an ability to hurt others without hurting my own self in the process, so first I need to collect some confidence in myself and then I will do it.


Natural111,
--------------
We both are guys and he was talking to a friend of his who is also a guy and I know him too. Your suggestion is more practical and the right one to do.

You are right; I wasn’t supposed to hear it. When I protect my privacy so fiercely, it was not right for me to eavesdrop. I don’t have any excuse for that, I just got sucked in as soon as i heard my name when I stepped into the house and he just kept going on about my ambitions and my close friends.

It would be cheap of me to say that he never helped me; he did help me at times. But I am questioning his intentions now?

Cancerrg,
------------
Thanks. He would have definitely got that from me, had he stepped out of his room when I was standing outside. But that wasn’t the case.

heart cakes,
-------------
It’s a nice learning experience, I never share my secrets to anyone that easily and that’s why it hurts me the most. But thank god as I was fortunate enough to cut through his mask. I won’t get sucked in, no matter what his explanation is. I may have done some thing in the past which might have hurt him, my sincere apologies for my mistakes. I get so blunt with my point of views when I get close to a person and I think it didn’t go well with him.

It’s funny that I asked my hospital to give me some time to pay my dues as I wanted to give money to this guy.


I will give any one the right to talk about me and my mistakes and but no one has the right to tarnish those things which are close to my heart. I will never ever allow anyone to ridicule the things that I love (.esp. my career and my loved ones). I can’t, I will talk to him but only to let him know that it’s all over.

Thanks to you all, I was fuming since yesterday. But I am slowly getting my composure back with all your help. But his time is over; I am kicking him and his friend out for ever. They won’t exist any more after I get my money back.


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ghanima81
Moderator

Posts: 1785
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted May 23, 2008 01:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ghanima81     Edit/Delete Message
You must do what is right for you in your heart.

The sting is still very fresh, so be aware that in time you may look at the situation differently.

But I have been there. It sucks that money has to come into it, but I have had the same thing happen.... but I forgot about the money just to let the person out of my life... the energy I was giving them was just too much. Granted, that person always listened, but I think it was a way of learning how to manipulate me...

Good luck, and know you always have a home here where nobody will stab you in the back...

and light to you!

Ghani

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katatonic
Knowflake

Posts: 501
From: ca, usa
Registered: Jan 2008

posted May 23, 2008 01:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for katatonic     Edit/Delete Message
i always thought that the reason eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves is because of the nature of eavesdropping - it takes things out of context. the fact that you hear your name pricks your ears up but it may have actually been someone ELSE he was talking about. the other thing about eavesdropping is remembering that it is not what is said but how you hear it that makes it good or bad...you should definitely talk to him about it but if you think him so false where will you go from there? how will you trust his explanation or response? this may be a hint from the universe to keep your secrets secret - or the opposite, understand that there really are no secrets! only you can say for sure. XX

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strtnash
Knowflake

Posts: 71
From: ohio
Registered: Jul 2007

posted May 23, 2008 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for strtnash     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks ghanima81.

katatonic, I see what you are talking about. But I didn't do it on purpose, and i still feel that i got lucky to be there to find that out.

I dont know if you can classify it as 100% eavesdropping, as it is my home as well and I was in my room when he was so loud that even our neighbors would have heard him.

but there is not even a slight doubt about who he was talking about, you can go wrong when you hear your name but not when he lists two of your close friends,your ex, your future plans and ambitions. I don't want do elaborate as it would hurt me more.

But your are correct in saying where would i go, as i am not going to trust him anymore.

But i will talk to him about that, at least it would let my feelings go off instead having to bottle it up inside me. It would also give me chance to tell him that its all over and lets move on. I don't want to be the actor he is, If you are not my friend then you better know it.

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Geocosmic Valentine
Knowflake

Posts: 994
From: New York, NY
Registered: Sep 2007

posted May 23, 2008 03:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geocosmic Valentine     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Strtnash,

I'm so sorry that your roommate betrayed your kindness and trust. I personally think that God was looking out for you and wanted you to know exactly what was happening under your very own roof.

Also, I hope this experience doesn't stop you from doing good in the world. You have to remember that when you are helping someone, whether it is financial or supporting them through your friendship, you are not just helping that person, you are putting out an infinite amount of supportive energy into the atmosphere, into the universe.

If the actual target of your kindness proves to be unworthy of it, then that is too bad for that person, but you have already eminated tremendous kindness and good energy to the rest of the world and in that sense, it was definitely worth it. Don't stop doing that because one unworthy person tried to take advantage of you. No one can really take advantage of you if you know that your giving support ultimately supports everyone, even you.

Always remember, you are a beautiful, kind and brilliant soul. Never forget that.

I also wish for you roommate to be blessed for his own growth because his life will probably be most difficult until he wakes up and makes some serious changes. I hope that happens for him. It might not happen, but lets hope this experience teaches him so that he can be more aware of himself in the future out in the world.

But for you Strtnsh, it makes me SO PROUD to know you. I wish you wouldn't change your moniker. I wish you to know that it is alright to be who you are all day, everyday 24/7 and forget what anyone else thinks. I also know that it's easier said than done, so I won't insist. But have a wonderful holiday weekend.

Geocosmic Valentine

------------------
"Everybody is a star!"
Sly & The Family Stone

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strtnash
Knowflake

Posts: 71
From: ohio
Registered: Jul 2007

posted May 23, 2008 03:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for strtnash     Edit/Delete Message
Jeez, Geo!

You almost made me cry. I cant believe i am still so sensitive after what i have gone through since i was a kid.

Thanks, i will email you after i create a new profile.

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Geocosmic Valentine
Knowflake

Posts: 994
From: New York, NY
Registered: Sep 2007

posted May 23, 2008 04:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geocosmic Valentine     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, sweetie. Thanks for letting me know who you are when your profile changes and we'll all keep it anonymous, as we all are anyway.

Try to have a good weekend.

Geocosmic Valentine

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mblover
Knowflake

Posts: 508
From:
Registered: Nov 2007

posted May 28, 2008 12:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mblover     Edit/Delete Message
could you provide birthdate of your roommate? and also how does your chart look like?

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