posted June 06, 2008 06:37 PM         

MY story is rather long.. but please bare with me...

I went to volunteer in a foreign country. Where I met a boy, who was also a volunteer there. We immediately clicked and had a unique dreamy connection - from very first sight. Nothing was said because he had a girlfriend back home. And we never talked about our connection openly. He s very passive. So despite complaining about his gf endlessly and making it clear he was not in love wiht her, he never had the strength to break up with her. And when he did, it was messy and he was upset. And i gave him space. Only to find that he hooks up withsomeone else two days later.. a rebound which proved to be mostly just a physical relationship. I dont speak to him for a month. And then we stay friends...very close friends confiding in each other, dating other ppl, but everynow and again..that special spark just comes out of nowhere...in the form of jealousy, or admiration.. or or or or...

Until the very last week before I left. We were feeling very emotional about it. And there was a build up, up until the last moment, where I confessed my true feelings for him- he kissed me- i left...After leaving... contrary to my expectations I received many confessions from him...lettter written and on the phone... of how what he felt for me was so huge.. he couldnt have something not serious that wouldnt last.. or he was scared...but that he really thinks i cd be the one...and wants to stay in touch... and at some point try it out (which cd only be in a year- as we live in diff parts of the world)

We agreed not to be in a relationship since it didnt feel like it made sense...but still we kept in regular touch and were v openly romantic and emotional...it didnt feel contradictory to date other ppl..since all this was very dreamy...and it sometimes felt like it was a song form a nother world or a movie.. thats sleeping and will one day come true... I dated other ppl but did nothing physical.. I knew it was completely the other way round for him..

However it was the biggest shock for me to know that he had kissed one of my closest friends. Not once or twice but three times. Someone I introduced him to. A younger girl who was like my little sister, and asked him to take care of her before i leave because this is her first experience abroad( i knew her form before didnt meet her there)...

And then apparently after i left she chased him.. but he cdnt say no.... again passiveness passiveness

my first reaction when i heard was to completely cut him out of my life...but then, my heart was breaking at the thought of it...since i feel like we never tried out sthg that we cd really be sthg.. i feel that i know him and i have the key to him. n he has the key to me..... yet i dunno if not being able to tell no is a change...

i know for a fact that i would need to teach him a lesson if i still keep our options open.. but my issue is that keeping our options open initself makes me feel stupid... however emotionallyt the thought of cutting him out kills me... i dunno what to do..

do our charts explain any of this?

ME

Planetary positions
planet sign degree motion
Sun Pisces 19°03'25 in house 3 direct
Moon Pisces 10°51'20 in house 3 direct
Mercury Aries 0°51'29 in house 4 retrograde
Venus Aries 0°59'04 in house 4 direct
Mars Sagittarius 20°23'12 in house 1 direct
Jupiter Pisces 4°07'27 in house 3 direct
Saturn Sagittarius 9°37'43 end of house 12 stationary (R)
Uranus Sagittarius 22°14'13 in house 1 direct
Neptune Capricorn 5°35'00 in house 1 direct
Pluto Scorpio 7°07'11 in house 11 retrograde
True Node Taurus 0°34'56 in house 5 retrograde
Planets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.

House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Sagittarius 11°53'57
2nd House Capricorn 13°43'48
3rd House Aquarius 19°09'30
Imum Coeli Pisces 24°14'26
5th House Aries 24°35'00
6th House Taurus 19°44'38
Descendant Gemini 11°53'57
8th House Cancer 13°43'48
9th House Leo 19°09'30
Medium Coeli Virgo 24°14'26
11th House Libra 24°35'00
12th House Scorpio 19°44'38

Major aspects
Sun Square Mars 1°20
Sun Square Uranus 3°11
Sun Square Ascendant 7°09
Moon Conjunction Jupiter 6°44
Moon Square Saturn 1°14
Moon Sextile Neptune 5°16
Moon Trine Pluto 3°44
Moon Square Ascendant 1°03
Mercury Conjunction Venus 0°08
Mercury Square Neptune 4°44
Venus Square Neptune 4°36
Mars Conjunction Uranus 1°51
Jupiter Square Saturn 5°30
Jupiter Sextile Neptune 1°28
Jupiter Trine Pluto 3°00
Saturn Conjunction Ascendant 2°16
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1°32

Him

Planetary positions
planet sign degree motion
Sun Pisces 25°43'48 in house 8 direct
Moon Gemini 3°15'32 in house 10 direct
Mercury Pisces 26°05'49 in house 8 retrograde
Venus Aries 9°18'03 end of house 8 direct
Mars Sagittarius 23°59'54 in house 5 direct
Jupiter Pisces 5°41'40 in house 7 direct
Saturn Sagittarius 9°41'51 in house 4 stationary (R)
Uranus Sagittarius 22°19'16 end of house 4 direct
Neptune Capricorn 5°40'35 in house 5 direct
Pluto Scorpio 7°00'05 in house 3 retrograde
True Node Taurus 0°24'41 in house 9 direct
Planets at the end of a house are interpreted in the next house.

House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Leo 25°54'31
2nd House Virgo 15°29'35
3rd House Libra 11°04'42
Imum Coeli Scorpio 14°26'01
5th House Sagittarius 23°07'05
6th House Capricorn 28°00'54
Descendant Aquarius 25°54'31
8th House Pisces 15°29'35
9th House Aries 11°04'42
Medium Coeli Taurus 14°26'01
11th House Gemini 23°07'05
12th House Cancer 28°00'54

Major aspects
Sun Sextile Moon 7°32
Sun Conjunction Mercury 0°22
Sun Square Mars 1°44
Sun Square Uranus 3°25
Sun Quincunx Ascendant 0°11
Moon Sextile Mercury 7°10
Moon Sextile Venus 6°03
Moon Square Jupiter 2°26
Moon Opposition Saturn 6°26
Moon Quincunx Neptune 2°25
Moon Square Ascendant 7°21
Mercury Square Mars 2°06
Mercury Square Uranus 3°47
Mercury Quincunx Ascendant 0°11
Venus Trine Saturn 0°24
Venus Square Neptune 3°37
Venus Quincunx Pluto 2°18
Mars Conjunction Uranus 1°41
Mars Trine Ascendant 1°55
Jupiter Square Saturn 4°00
Jupiter Sextile Neptune 0°01
Jupiter Trine Pluto 1°18
Uranus Trine Ascendant 3°35
Neptune Sextile Pluto 1°20

posted June 06, 2008 08:33 PM         

You guys weren't exclusive, and you say you dated other people too. So why do you think he cheated ?

posted June 07, 2008 04:06 AM         

quote:

---

the issue is not doing sthg or dating other ppl in general..

the issues is doing this with one of my close friends

---

I can imagine how you must feel. You guys agreed to remain in (romantic) touch, but still date other people, the fact that he is going with someone whom is really close to you, makes it feel like betrayal. Right?

But, looking at it objectively (as swirl-kitt must've been doing), because in your agreement to remain in touch and date other people you did not specify which kinds of "other people" aren't to be messed with, all's pretty much fair game. Ya know?

All's fair in love and war, as they say. I do understand, however, when emotions are concerned, sometimes a little sensitivity and "mind reading" goes a long way to avoid trouble. Still, you decided that having a long-distance relationship wouldn't work and so decided to remain friends, albeit in a dreamy-romantic state. Right?

But beyond that, there isn't really a relationship, and there were no additional agreements, and so there's nothing to really "cheat" on.

posted June 07, 2008 11:31 AM         

maybe using the word CHEATING per say in the conventional sense isnt very correct...

However, its not a matter of ethic or agreement.. i dont feel that its sthg that needs to be spoken about... if u love someone n u think there s a good chance u might end up with them, dont u feel wierd kissing their friend? doesnt it just feel wrong? and disrespectful?

i dunno plz... let me know if i m being biased.. but really this is the way i feel...and i m sure if i had done the same thing he would ve been hurt to. And no one in our circle of friends (including the friend, and himself) are surprised wiht my reaction.

I do agree that not being committed makes the whole thing not as bad....but what hurts me is that i thought his feelings were strong enough for me to prevent him from fooling around with a friend of mine....because i wouldnt fool around wiht a friend of his, not out of ethics or committement, but out not feeling right about it...

posted June 07, 2008 11:39 AM         

I'm sorry you're hurting.

posted June 07, 2008 01:31 PM         

"Get rid of him" Yes that wa smy instant reaction and decision....he doesn't deserve me, I can do better than that..Someone who s less passive, who's stronger..and doesnt need me for his stability....thats such a turn off.. but contrary to my own expectation it remained a logical dignity turn off...rather than an emotional turn off... i still love him,,,and some part of me believes when we re finally together all this will be insignificant...

"My heart is breaking for you monmonitaa" -- thankyou.... yes i m really torn apart.... I have friends who are with him..and who update me with what happens... yes he does care.. that i have no doubt about... ever since he discovered that I know he's been in shock....... he s crying everytime he speaks about it saying how he ****** up..and doesnt even know what to say because sorry sounds so lame.... he got the impressions from my friends that i never want to speak to him again....(Which is what i said to them to begin with).....and he keeps asking them.. IS IT REALLY OVER FOR HER? FOREVER? THATS IT?

IT breaks my heart to hear this...but then again why didnt he feel this way before i found out....the guilt..? where was that? whyd idnt he think of all this before? why why?

Yes these pluto transits make sense.. i find it so hard not to be black or white.. let go of him forever/... thats what it keeps whispering in my head... let go of him dont be stupid and hurt urself

when will these critical transitions, and the mercury one end?

i love him , but i dont want to pay myself as the price for this love...

posted June 09, 2008 03:13 PM         

and last i heard from my friends.. he was very broken but didnt know what to do because felt that i wouldnt respond to him trying to get in contact with me - and moreover he didnt know what to say, because he felt that what he had done was not execusable. but he cannot get over the fact that it cd be completely over for me... thats whats shocking him and upsetting him the most....