posted June 29, 2008 01:19 PM         

My ex boyfriend Pisces Sun, Numerology Life Path No 4 and I had a crazy relationship. He loved me much too much but I was so rebellious and didn't want to commit nor cut off the relationship, I was only 20 when I met him. So it was a mixture of intense love and floaty feelings of a divine relationship, verbal abuse and mental torture, break ups and make ups. Also I had to lie to cover up for a lot of stuff I wasn't ready to let him in on. Slowly with time, I began to fall in love with him, but I realised that the damage that I had done before was beyond repair. I don't know if it was both our subconscious that were carrying poisonous seeds that led to the events as they did. When we exchange blows, it would be very devastating and very negative. I am also an INFP(Myerrs Brigg Personality), at worst, he escalated my insecurities.

At the age of 22, I had decided to let go of the relationship, depsite the intense love and connection we have because of the amount of negativity and internal damage I was fighting. He didn't want to let me go but I insisted anyway

Days later, I met this guy who is also a Pisces, Numerology Life Path no 4 too. I'm asian and my ex was too but I met this guy in Europe during the course of my work who is American. So now this is an interracial relationship. When I first met him, I was shocked, my heart danced when I saw him walk into the room, he was the most beautiful guy I've ever seen in my entire life and being a Taurus Sun, Scorpio Rising and Capricorn Moon, I know beauty when I see one,at first thought I thought it was lust, but the funny thing was, he looked exactly the way I had imagined my "ideal lover" to be when I was a teenager... I even went to my home back in Asia sometime later to check out this book that I've written regarding how I visualise my dream guy to be. Then after several hours of a wonderful chat, I began to ask his full name... and so he said it, and damn my stomach knotted itself inside, or at least that was what it felt like.

Both our attraction towards each other was so strong, we wouldn't be out of sight from each other for long. Now, I've been wanting to look for my twin for the longest time... It's been a preoccupation for me, not that I wanted my twin but I just wanted to share my world with a someone who could share my ups and downs and love me unconditionally no matter what my background was, no matter what, someone who also believed in a complete soul union. With the new guy that I was so attracted to, I could share everything. We trashed out ALL skeletons in the closet, real personal things he and I knew we wouldn't ever never tell our past dates or our past lovers, we found it so easy to confide to each other and still be accepted no matter what. The odd thing that we witnessed was things started going all wrong around us, like it was a curse for us to be together but the love we feel for each other is still so strong and I think ever since, we both don't think that there could be another "ideal" person like the other. We had to be seperated for reasons the Universe doesnt reveal to us and have been in a LDR ever since. I'm back home in Asia and he's there in America, clearing up his personal karma, lots of his personal Karma, he is also going though his Saturn's return. The universe in a way is keeping both of us apart really, because both of us would usually be always travelling or living abroad for work and now both of us are reduced to being back in our respective hometown countries.

All I can tell you is that when I met him, I had the loveliest and most baffling trip with him ever. The constant synchronicities I found between him and my ex were uncanny. How can an Asian dude(my ex) be so similiar to a white guy? The books they like, the themes of stuff they dig (like paranormal, unexplainable stuff, quantum physics etc,etc), the food they like, the words they say sometimes I swear to god are like ripped out of each other's mouth. I always tell the current beau that he's an evolution of the last but thank god,there's no negative blows that hurt each other between us, not like with my ex and me,and even if we occasional bicker, it's because I'm immature at times and insist for things to be in my way. The only thing that bothers me is his Venus in Aquarius placement, when he is in front of me, he is his darling Pisces romantic, creative, loving, needy self which I so relish, but when he is far away, I feel he is so independent of me. I know he isn't cheating on me, at least I hope he isn't, his Nona tells me so that he isn't seeing anyone either. I don't question if he is cheating on me, but am wondering if it's the Venus in Aquarius that needs his space but we talk on the phone almost daily sometimes or if not 3 days once, it's a 20-35 min talk and if unfortunately I get upset and bicker with him, he always makes sure that I calm down before he let me go on the phone, that could in itself take like 1 hr to 1.2 hr, depending on the intensity of the topic. It's wearing me down this distance and we are 'planning' to make things easier for us by me moving to the US.

I've seen a strange thing during a love making session before, it was like a burst of lights in a circle, I dont know what that meant but I somehow feel that he is the twin because I felt the butterflies in my stomach with him, and not with anyone else. He's the only person I feel like I want to try for a relationship, make sacrifices for.No I didn't really respect guys alot because I grew up with guy friends and I saw how they all treated women like **** ...and I therefore wasn't a really good girlfriend to my ex, trying to be the heroine and sorta take revenge. Twisted game... I had a MAJOR spiritual revolution that changed the way and the entire me that I am, shortly 1 mth after he departed me in Asia to return home. Yes he came with me back home to meet my folks... And yep, for some strange reason, he is changing 180 degrees to what I fell love with, his potential to be, he's changing into all that without me ever asking him to change into anything, ... It's like he's mirroring me and my deepest wishes,all of this happens without me telling him verbally, "I wish you would change this...or that...." Nope, none of that ever. I believe in never pushing the soul to grow and evolutionise as it should be like a flower that grows bit by bit under the power of the Sun's embrace.. Me quitting the alcohol and the vices, he is mirroring my actions too, which I find amazing, cos in the initial stage of the relationship, he was pretty adamant about changing any of his habits, including smoking.

So anyone, please help, I'm wondering if I should give it my all and try or just move on and just let the Universe sign me up for another deal.

It sounds like a twin reunion but could anyone tell from our charts? Oh by the way, when he's not around, "the near twin's" or what I call them anyways, try to have a relationship with me, and they all have properties that my ex have...even my ex who could also be the "near twin" himself tried a couple of times...

My knowledge in astrology is limited...

Here are the details of our planets

I'm lost, help me... I don't know if it will be beautiful or end up in all tears like the ex... I just wanna know if I really should believe that the Universe is keeping us apart for whatever reason till he clears his karma up or what? I've lost the question itself... or the point of writing this all. Anyone can tell what this relationship might be? Karmic or more? The day we met was Aug 03-2006. Very much appreciate if you could illuminate my mind a little... God bless

[img=http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/3193/editedwardpo3.th.gif]

Zodiac in degrees 0.00

Sun Pisces 29.16
Moon Sagittarius 16.39
Mercury Aries 6.36 R
Venus Aquarius 19.43
Mars Pisces 16.16
Jupiter Cancer 29.03 R
Saturn Virgo 9.05 R
Uranus Scorpio 20.45 R
Neptune Sagittarius 20.30
Pluto Libra 18.23 R
Lilith Leo 17.35
Asc node Virgo 17.36

Placidus Orb:0

Ascendant Aries
II Taurus
III Gemini
IV Cancer
V Cancer
VI Leo
VII Libra
VIII Scorpio
IX Sagittarius
Midheaven Capricorn
XI Capricorn
XII Aquarius

[img=http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/544/editflochartmc0.th.gif]

Zodiac in degrees 0.00

Sun Taurus 1.35
Moon Capricorn 14.21
Mercury Taurus 2.44 R
Venus Aries 16.51
Mars Scorpio 26.46 R
Jupiter Capricorn 12.52
Saturn Scorpio 13.58 R
Uranus Sagittarius 13.05 R
Neptune Capricorn 1.20 R
Pluto Scorpio 0.43 R
Lilith Pisces 14.41
Asc node Gemini 7.09

Placidus Orb:0

Ascendant Scorpio 18.14
II Sagittarius 16.58
III Capricorn 14.45
IV Aquarius 13.42
V Pisces 15.01
VI Aries 17.26
VII Taurus 18.14
VIII Gemini 16.58
IX Cancer 14.45
Midheaven Leo 13.42
XI Virgo 15.01
XII Libra 17.26

posted June 29, 2008 02:58 PM         

Transiting Pluto has retrograded back into Sagittarius. Maybe things will pick up when it moves back into Capricorn.

http://www.cafeastrology.com/plutotransits.html

Pluto transits trine Sun

*Your concentration, dedication, and resolute determination to achieve your personal goals is never stronger than now. This is a time when you make major changes in yourself and your position in the world.

Don't expect it to be easily got though, transiting Pluto is also Inconjunct natal Chiron.

posted June 29, 2008 03:11 PM         

Thanks izodesmozina for the Welcome

No, it's not a visa problem. I wouldn't even require 1 to get into the country... Personal choice as in I don't want him to take care of me, I have to be indepedent on my own, he has to be financially stable and ready for me to go over too. You get the idea...

posted July 01, 2008 07:43 PM         

Without looking at any chart (not that I'm an expert, becuase I'm not, but learning to piece some things together), and having a few decades up my sleeve and knowing you still have decades up yours, I would be tempted to pursue this relationship - there seems to be something special enough to set you aglow. It's not often we meet someone who hits our stomach with butterflies. They are as rare as the butterflies themselves.