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Author
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Topic: I Can't Leave This Guy....
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sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted July 02, 2008 08:14 PM
 
I am getting frustrated with the cancer guy I have been seeing. It has been almost 2 years now and he said he is not sure of our relationship. Ok, fine, he is entitled to an opinion. The problem here lies with me. Usually , if someone were to say something like that to me, I would just leave or ignore them or just think, ok, I am done with you completely. The thing is, is I can't do that with this guy. I am so frustrated with myself. I feel so drawn to him and it is scaring me. I feel like he could get away with a lot with me because I am so drawn to him. I am wondering is it because of our moon signs? It almost feels beyond my control. I just dont understand it. I am a pisces sun, pisces moon and libra asc. He is cancer sun, sag moon, cancer asc. Someone told me there can be a connection with my sun and his moon that causes me to feel like I am drawn to him so b ad. Could this be true? IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted July 02, 2008 08:18 PM
I hear ya sinderlou. I am in the same boat!It's really tough and l cannot figure out why l can't just walk away.
Keep smiling and the Universe will eventually sort it all out for you. x IP: Logged |
writesomething
Knowflake Posts: 2376
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006
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posted July 02, 2008 08:18 PM
been there, done that. its very difficult to pull yourself away from these men once youre emotionally involved. i dont know why. with other men, it had always been easier to just brush it off and/or not care.IP: Logged |
venus in gemini
Knowflake Posts: 134
From: Florida, USA
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted July 02, 2008 08:31 PM
Hi Sinderlou,
Me too. Cancer guy. It was two years in April. I have been waiting for it to turn into a real relationship for two years. It's so amazing when we are together, so why don't they want something real? Why is this so difficult? Freedom and independence is a pretty strong pull I guess.And I haven't been able to let it go. I tried to date other people...and I would come home and cry after every date. I just finally told him on May 31st that I was done. That I was tired, and I just can't do this anymore. And he didn't budge on his position. So I haven't heard from him since that weekend. Sadly....I am waiting for him to call me. Because I know he will. We have Venus Sextile Pluto double whammy. I don't see either one of us letting go. Doesn't it seem like there are a lot of us going through the same thing right now? IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 6677
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
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posted July 02, 2008 08:36 PM
honestly, from experience - as painful as it is - the only way is to let go - because when you do you free yourself from the attachment to it - so either two things will happen - 1. he'll come back and you'll be in a place of love and power for yourself or 2. you've opened the doors for something really good to come to you - including someone who will treat you the way you desire - because you are treating yourself that way.been there - done that. know the pain. know what is beyond it - the freedom and joy. but you can't do it with the intention that they'll come back. you do it with the intention that you desire the best for yourself. it takes time. it could happen overnight - but, let it happen in its own time. everyone is different. IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted July 02, 2008 08:54 PM
Hey guys thanks for your empathy and sharing the ride in my boat so to speak!PeaceAngel made a good suggestion about letting it go because you can be open to something better and if he does change his mind, you can be treated with the respect deserved. I always say to him that I demand respect. It is funny that I even say that outloud. It should just be a given in the relationship. So you guys think it is simply the allure of cancer men? Do they all have such a hold on every woman? I have broken up with him and when I wake up in the morning and realize what I had done it felt like a panic attack or something. Like I was letting a piece of me go with him. I really can't put it into words. Its like they can get inside of you and stay there like the movie ALIENS or something. IP: Logged |
venus in gemini
Knowflake Posts: 134
From: Florida, USA
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted July 02, 2008 09:07 PM
Peace Angel is right. It's the attachment. We are so attached to it. To the man, to it being a real relationship, to it coming together. To it becoming what we want it to be. It's our expectations. And when are expectations aren't fulfilled, we are frustrated and unhappy. We are so attached to the outcome, and it's to our detriment. I've read all the books. I know all this. I have good days, where I am able to pick myself up to a higher level, and see it all from that level. And then I have the not so good days, where I cry. When I ask why? Why doesn't he want this too? Why is the question that always makes me cry.Wayne Dyer says, "See them where they are, not where you want them to be." And just believe there is a purpose to it all. Exactly how it is playing out. It's all playing out exactly how the universe wants it to. Some days that's hard to accept. 
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CrimsonChyld
Knowflake Posts: 329
From: Murray, UT
Registered: May 2008
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posted July 02, 2008 09:44 PM
Yes, been there done that. People tell me that it will get better with time. And it's been about 7 months for me and I can agree that it does get better. If you were to tell me that back then I wouldn't have believed you. I was so heart broken.
But I know now that time will heal my wounds. Hang in there and try to distance yourself from him.. much harder then it sounds.Good luck to you
------------------
Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver
and the other's gold IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 699
From: Bay Area, California, USA
Registered: Jan 2006
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posted July 02, 2008 10:11 PM
"So you guys think it is simply the allure of cancer men? Do they all have such a hold on every woman?"Not on me.  I don't get all the hand wringing about Cancer men. Maybe because I don't have any planets in Cancer. I can take them or leave them. IP: Logged |
sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted July 02, 2008 10:25 PM
venus in gemini...so what books have you read on the subject? were any helpful? IP: Logged |
DainBramaged
Knowflake Posts: 338
From: miami
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted July 02, 2008 11:42 PM
Hey, there, sinderlou.I recommend to you an astrologer called Galen Halimar who does readings for free.
You can ask your question about you and this guy at his forum. Just click on "FREE readings at the Words of Wisdom Bulletin Board" on his site here: http://www.astrologyhoroscopes.com/index.shtml or..I could just give you the direct link to the forum, lol http://www.astrologyhoroscopes.com/bbs/intro.html But you can also go to the Rate your Romance section in his site (on the links/menu to the left) and ask what your compatibility is with anyone at all (but he likes it when you ask for just ONE person...the most u could do would be, like, asking about which of two guys are better for you.)
In his forum you can ask him about anything at all, though. Horary, compatibility, natal chart..anything. Just make sure you follow the rules which are mainly that you can only post one question every two weeks. (to give other ppl a chance.) You must also have signed up. If you want a second opinion about anything you could always ask Yogi Verma. His e-mail is at http://astroyogi.blogspot.com/ or you could also ask any question for free at http://www.hellojyotish.com/ IP: Logged |
venus in gemini
Knowflake Posts: 134
From: Florida, USA
Registered: Jan 2008
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posted July 03, 2008 08:06 AM
Sinderlou,
Well, in addition to relationship stuff, I have been reading books and articles more along the lines of living at a higher level of consciousness. Learning to let go of the ego, and live life from your soul level. Trying to understand my life from a soul perspective, as to the lessons I should be learning. That's where I learned about attachment to the outcome, etc. Our ego wants this relationship...but maybe out soul has said "No", that's not what's best for you...I have something else in mind for you. Let that go now. So here are the books currently on my nightstand! If the Buddah Dated-Charlotte Kasl
Mirrors of Time-Brian Weiss
Karmic Relationships-Charles Richards
Lifting the Veil of Duality-Andreas Moritz
The Power of Now-Eckhart Tolle
Your Sacred Self, Making the Decison to be Free-Wayne Dyer
Entering the Castle, An Inner Path to your Soul-Caroline Myss
Sacred Contracts-Caroline Myss
Invisible Acts of Power-Caroline Myss
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sinderlou
Knowflake Posts: 1039
From:
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted July 03, 2008 08:34 AM
DainBramaged and venus in gemini......
Thanks for the great info. I feel unsettled in my life right now and I am feeling too attached to this man and I think I look foolish at times. It is not me. I usually have more will and respect for myself.
He flat out says: You will never leave me, you can't. Then gives me a cheshire cat smile and no commitment for the future. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 6677
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
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posted July 04, 2008 12:48 AM
sinderlousee how this fits with you. a long time ago i was with someone and even though some part of me was actually repulsed by him i still hung in there. in my head somewhere i had gotten to a belief that no-one else would ever love me and that i would be alone for the rest of my life because i wasn't worthy of anything better. can you relate to that? if that's the reason you stay? leave. what comes next is the best part of your life. and yourself too. because while you're in this situation what you are actually losing is your very self. he's robbing you of it. and you'll resent yourself as much as him in time, if not already. i can't tell you how much detaching from them is the path to freedom. they count on this belief that you'll never leave. they think you are weak, when really you are strong. think how strong you are to endure what you do. then think about how much stronger you could be if you were happy and free - just for yourself, for no other reason. when we parted - i remember walking down the street and feeling so light and breezy - something i hadn't felt in a long time - all that darkness and heaviness had lifted just from not having him as a part of my life. he knocked on the door begging a few days later. i told him to go away because even those few days i had found something i hadn't felt in a couple of years. it was so empowering. i never looked back. not once. keep yourself busy, occupied with other wonderful things. it brings newness at all levels. freedom. IP: Logged |
writesomething
Knowflake Posts: 2376
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006
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posted July 04, 2008 04:19 AM
Sinder- if you want maybe you could post your synastry and composite together to get an idea why its difficult to leave the guy. Im curious, do you guys have any strong saturn aspects?IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted July 04, 2008 04:47 AM
I think if a man is emotionally damaged it helps him a lot if you let him know you are there for him in whatever capacity.It allows him to open and trust again, maybe?
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PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 6677
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
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posted July 04, 2008 05:06 AM
sure lara, but not at the expense of your self.not everyone wants to be saved either. and some people - in helping them - they take whatever you give them and deplete you. and with those people - you can never give them enough - they truly are bottomless pits. IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted July 04, 2008 06:52 AM
very
true
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Lindaland
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