posted August 04, 2008 01:36 AM         

Example - if his Mars is in Scorpio, pay attention to the ways in which he's deep, intense, and psychologically strong. Genuinely compliment him on those traits when he exhibits them.

If her Venus is in Sag, pay attention to the ways in which she's adventurous, open-minded, and philosophical. Genuinely compliment her on those traits.

What you want to do, is let them know that you see them as having the traits of their personal "love" planet. Whether a person is straight or gay, I think it's their Mars (for guys) or Venus (for women) that describes how they want to be viewed in a romantic relationship. If they know you see them as that, then your appreciation of that part of themselves makes them feel that part of themselves more strongly, and triggers them to view themselves as sexually desirable.

This contrasts with, say, the Sun. The Sun is more androgynous. Someone appreciating your sun won't necessarily make you view yourself in a romantic light. Their appreciation is wonderful--everyone likes to feel loved--but it's not as likely to make you see yourself as being loved specifically as a man or as a woman.

If you're not super lazy, I highly recommend that you also take into consideration their Moon sign. Recognizing and valuing that sign will make them feel emotionally secure and stimulated.

I've done a little empirical research on this. I asked my unwitting participants how they would prefer to be viewed by a member of the sex they're attracted to. I asked using general descriptions for the signs, and the characteristics they wanted to be viewed as possessing matched their Moon and Mars/Venus.

I want to clarify that this is merely a shortcut. People are complex and want to be recognized for all of who they are. I just think this a quick way for someone to get a romantic/sexual relationship on the mind, or, at the very least, not plant you in the "friend" category.

And if you're not lazy and don't mind doing some work, it would work even better if you checked out the aspects their Moon and Mars/Venus make. If the guy you're interested in has Mars in Virgo but it's closely conjunct Pluto, then he'd also want to be seen as plutonic, and so on.

Use this knowledge wisely and honorably. Have fun.

posted August 04, 2008 02:03 AM         

Yeah I think you do have a point there Jane. I have actually tried it ocassionally on someone and it kinda works. But wouldn't you say maybe the sun might work better on a man and the moon on a woman? Only exception is leo I guess, they love being worshiped full stop.

posted August 04, 2008 02:28 AM         

When I view someone romantically/am attracted to them, I instinctually hone in on their Mars sign... "omg I think he's a Mars in Scorpio"... so this is VERY interesting to me.

My current celebrity crush is a Mars in Scorpio, and this is the main way in which I view him. Intense, passionate, sexy. I also love that he's intelligent (Sag sun) but it's the Scorpio Mars that draws me in.

From my own point of view, it's a nicer compliment to be seen as down to earth (Taurus sun) and intelligent (Sag rising) - but in a romantic relationship, I do firstly enjoy being seen as flirty and interesting (Venus in Gemini) as well as sexy and intense (Scorpio moon). I prefer that they see me as slightly elusive and hard to get as well. That could be the Gemini Venus. Flattery relating to my physical appearance is really nice and I won't pretend I don't like it, but it's not a factor in getting me interested. Maybe we can relate this to the fact I have no Libra placements...?? (Well, Pluto... but so does everyone else of my generation)...

The longer the relationship endures though, my sun and ASC had better be acknowledged or there will be trouble... lol

Great work Jane!

posted August 04, 2008 02:42 AM         

The reason I keep the moon for both men & women is because someone's primal, instinctive emotions always remain. And the moon is especially felt in an emotional relationship, like a love relationship. Our moon gets highlighted when feelings are involved, so if you want someone to feel comfortable or enticed to let their feelings get involved, you'd want to appeal to their moon.

It's not that the sun doesn't matter for a man, just that when it comes to him viewing himself as a man in relation to a love interest, his mars matters more. In a sense, his mars becomes his sun in that situation. It's the identity he needs to express and be appreciated for having in order to feel like a desirable man. The same with a woman and venus.

But yeah, I'd say that the sun is very important. In terms of the initial attraction though, I'd say it comes after Moon and Mars/Venus for both men and women.

I only asked 4 guys about this, so it wasn't that large a sample. I was surprised how they focused so heavily on their mars sign, but then as I thought about it more it made more sense to me. The sun is important since it's what we're meant to be in this life, and ultimately we want someone who loves us for who we are as a complete individual. But it's mars or venus that we feel is what we're meant to be as a desirable lover, and we first need someone to recognize those parts of ourselves to feel like they see us as a man or woman.

Dragoon -
Those are great! So we could watch our love interest's mars or venus sign to learn what will best grab their attention, and their moon sign to see what will make them feel comfortable with letting their feelings get involved. The sun is important too, but may not help trigger the initial attraction.

posted August 04, 2008 03:14 AM         

quote:

---

Drr, can't believe I forgot this! You have no idea how much you just excited me when you said you have a thing for mars in Scorpio. I have a thing for mars in Leo, which like Scorpio for you, is my moon sign. Even before this discussion I've been thinking that a woman's (or gay man's) moon in the same sign as a man's mars is a major mutual attractor in synastry. And I think that a man's (or lesbian's) moon in the same sign as a woman's venus works similarly. In both of those scenarios, the identity one person has in a love relationship matches the deepest emotional needs of their partner.

---

Hell yeah! It's stronger the closer the conjunction is (obviously), but even with no conjunction it works for me. My ex and I didn't have the conjunction but the compatibility in that regard was still felt. When I look at the charts where the conjunction is close though, the attraction feels much more immediate and compelling for me.

posted August 04, 2008 03:15 AM         

After our first conversation, I left the room and I later found out that he turned to his friends still in the room and said dreamily, "She seemed very smart, don't you think?" (lol, smart became a code word for being turned on in our relationship,) But my point in sharing that is in order to feel an emotional bond with someone, he had to feel like she was someone worthy of his brain. He also told me once that one of the things that had attracted him to me was that I had one of the strangest minds of anyone he'd ever met. And he liked that not only b/c he was attracted to it (Moon indicating what a male is attracted to) but also because he's emotionally comfortable with someone who's not too straight-laced, a little bizarre and surprising.

posted August 04, 2008 03:26 AM         

Although, word of caution. I explained this to someone (and later a few more) and they just acted like a Leo from then on. Was pretty pathetic. Comes across as being false.

posted August 04, 2008 03:29 AM         

quote:

---

After our first conversation, I left the room and I later found out that he turned to his friends still in the room and said dreamily, "She seemed very smart, don't you think?" (lol, smart became a code word for being turned on in our relationship,) But my point in sharing that is in order to feel an emotional bond with someone, he had to feel like she was someone worthy of his brain. He also told me once that one of the things that had attracted me to him was that I had one of the strangest minds of anyone he'd ever met. And he liked that not only b/c he was attracted to it (Moon indicating what a male is attracted to) but also because he's emotionally comfortable with someone who's not too straight-laced, a little bizarre and surprising.

---

Oh! That really explains it... thanks so much!!! It sounds like this would also work with Mars in Aquarius? I've just remembered an early conversation with Mr Gemini, where he was running off a list of things that he liked about me. We were in bed at the time as I recall - and two of the words he used were "intelligent" and "quirky"... And when he said that, it wasn't so much a 'romantic' thing for me but I felt as though he really "got" me in a way that many people don't. I have a Sun-Uranus opposition. I have been known to come out with some really off-the-wall things, but I ONLY reveal this side of myself when I'm really comfortable with someone (my Uranus is retrograde - so although it IS there aspecting my sun, I don't usually show that part of myself outwardly). So when somebody does refer to me as quirky or interesting, it really endears them to me.

posted August 04, 2008 03:45 AM         

quote:

---

Although, word of caution. I explained this to someone (and later a few more) and they just acted like a Leo from then on. Was pretty pathetic. Comes across as being false.

---

I'll bet it seemed false. A facade like that can not last for long.

posted August 04, 2008 04:05 AM         

Kick It -
What I'm emphasizing is appreciating what another person is, not changing yourself to be what they're looking for. So a danger with looking at the 7th house is molding yourself to become what the 7th house indicates. For instance, if the 7th is Cap the admiring party may try to make herself more Cap-like. But the 7th can be handled sincerely too, if instead of putting up a front, the admiring person just recognizes those Cap traits in the individual. Perhaps by recognizing how loyal and dependable the 7th house person is, and how a relationship with him would probably last a long time.

I don't think the 7th house is necessarily as sexual as Venus or Mars. It's the tone we want for our closest partnerships, including platonic relationships. The 5th may be more arousing.

What exactly does "acting like Leo" mean, buddy? Other than Leos being wonderful, warm, sex kittens?

Yeah, obviously insincerity is a turn off on multiple levels. It's more about focusing your perception on that person's Mars or Venus and letting them know that you see it. I agree with your insight--people who are amateurs at relating truthfully with others should take baby steps.

I can't not research, having a Scorpio Mercury and ASC. I'm intrigued by someone who is programmed to enjoy physical research.

posted August 04, 2008 04:14 AM         

Im not fully getting the whole appreciate thing. I did appreciate some women, but more physically. Im sure thats not what you meant

So if someone is same as me with Venus in Leo and Mars in Scorpio, I am to apprectiate their warmth, generosity, sex kitten style?
You mean by showing this to them? Through compliments, hugging, buying sex kittens? That sort of stuff?

posted August 04, 2008 04:21 AM         

lol, no that's not what I meant.

"Through compliments, hugging, buying sex kittens?"

Yeah, bring home a stray cat in heat, and as you present it to her bashfully say, "...just something that reminded me of you." I guess Scorpio Mars doesn't do bashful though?

posted August 04, 2008 04:34 AM         

quote:

---

Gem Lov -
That's really sweet about your SO recognizing your Sun-Uranus traits. I think that's a more developed love, when it's beyond the fun of Venus-Mars-5th house and is really seeing the whole person. I love long-term relationships because I prefer a deeper connection like that, but I can see how I first needed my Venus activated to get there. Otherwise, if Venus was bypassed, I could still get to that point with someone but it was in a platonic relationship.

---

Absolutely agree.

Interesting though that you mention that Mr Gemini recognising my sun-Uranus traits is a sign of a more developed love. What I noticed about this relationship was that he moved through each early stage of the relationship so quickly - Aries rising and Aries moon. From our flirting to dating to sex and deep feelings... the I love you's came after only a number of weeks, and it was within that brief time period that he made those comments about my quirkiness. It was like what would take most people at least several months or maybe years, was happening at high speed. I had a joke with him that he was like the people in an advertisment for fast-cooking roast chicken that was on TV around that time (two people go on a date and move through each relationship stage within a night and by the end of the night they break up and say "we'll always be friends"). I guess Aries rising/moon does everything fast including falling in love. I thought we would be all over with within three months. Aww... he aggravates me sometimes but he really is so sweet.