posted August 05, 2008 05:16 AM         

You/Me

Asc TAU/ARI
Moon LEO/SAG
P Fort TAU/SAG
Karma PIS/AQU

Any more questions fire away!! How's your life been in a nutshell? Relationships?

posted August 05, 2008 12:06 PM         

I am attracted to many different kinds of people and to say I have a TYPE of person I am attracted to wouldn't be accurate. As each person that I ahve ever had in my life has pretty much nothing in common with each other. Most of my relationships have been very intense, sometimes short lived and I have a high idea of what a perfect love is that I waited for what seems like forever to find. I can go for long stretches at a time without anyone in my life and I am ok with that...All of my exes for some reason or another seem to linger on in my life after things are over, calling trying to get me to hang out or see them socially. I look at it like why waste my time, If you are not the one. I am warm hearted and loving and true blue, but when I know things are over, I am colder than a bud ice and don't much have the time of day or sympathy for a bleeding heart that I considered f-ed up in some way or another or whatever caused my feeling to change. I will admit that could be anything like a real problem of infidelity or something that shouldn't even be an issue, but makes me change the way I look at a person. So, sometimes me, sometimes not. I can admit that. I am very very open when I give my heart. I give it all. There is nothing I would not do for someone that I love. I have been married and divorced twice, once due to spousal abuse, and the other for infidelity. I would rather hurt someones feelings that keep a lie in my relationships and that might be selfish, but that is how I am. I love completely and therefore my heart has been broken completely many times over. But I have no intentions on not loving completely as to protect myself as I think it would really limit the good things that I know can be in my life, so I never quit being able to be hurt as I think it would stop me from the beautiful things that I know are there. True love. So I guess I am a pathetic romantic at heart. But cross me good and you will see what a cold Bi***H can be.

I have known tragedy in my life as far as boyfriends killed in accidents, first husband in a wheel chair due to an accident, and my daughter was in a real bad accident a few years ago and had to have major reconstructive surgery. I have dealt with many things in my life.

I have been very wealthy and I have been very poor and now I realise that things are just things and blessed is a state of mind and I am content with little or much, but peace of mind can not be bought and having that is more important to me than any THING.

posted August 05, 2008 05:21 PM         

Hi sunshine lion,

Thanks for sharing the depths of your life. Yet again, it is morning and I popped in to have a read. Tonight I'll be back, and give you my story to compare.

I really appreciate what you have written. Life has sure been diverse for you.

Here in the meantime: is something to have a look at. It's about Pluto:
http://www.scribd.com/word/full/2204105?access_key=key-2dqjtrxlutpoof04verj

Have a 5th House kinda day

posted August 06, 2008 07:31 AM         

once again, your honesty is admirable. Now it's my turn, and in all honesty, it's going to be hard to put it all on this thread.

Kids! Well, being the oldest I spent an awful lot of time running after my younger siblings, taking care of their needs, bathing, dressing, feeding etc, just to help out my busy parents. Of course, as the years have passed, I have a kind of resentment over this as I reflect back to my parents going out each weekend leaving me to babysit all through my teens. Then with no appreciation at all, my siblings never bother to stay in contact with me in our adult years.

I don't have my own children. My parents seem to have this knack of scaring the by-jeezus out of me in regard to teen sex, pregnancies, and being over-protective, and scornful in areas of relationships with the opposite sex. I built up a fear of not wanting to have a baby and carried it all through my twenties. I probably would have considered having a child, but my partner ran off with another woman and I grieved for years. I spent the next 8 years building up my own security and education, and thought it may be too late to have a child.

Meeting my current partner, I began to consider having a child due to the feeling of being loved and supported. Then my partner had an operation a few years ago which didn't go so well. This affected our relationship and I felt I couldnt have a child in those circumstances. We have recently got over the worst of it all and are getting back on track, but hey, I turn 43 tomorrow and am feeling a little too old for it all now.

I work with children and absolutely love my job. It is a privilege to work with children. I see so many women with children and wonder at times, if my life had been more stable, what it would have been like to have a family. However, just working with them brings a sense of joy to my heart.

Thank you for your compliment "wonderful, strong, creative, loyal and hard-headed". But I will say 'No' to most of these. I have tried my best in life, but haven't found it easy. I have felt mainly abandoned by my family, and with my partner leaving when I was 28, I was left devastated. I always felt like crying deep down - feeling like I had no-one to love, or to love me.

As a child, I was picture perfect, good at school and enjoyed sports. My parents were strict. Our family moved around quite a bit in my younger years. I worked at being a responsible, caring family member. I think I grieved when my parents suddenly split in my late teens and both took off - one with my siblings leaving me, as the oldest to fend for myself. It was a shock, although I didnt realise it at the time. It also had long term repercussions - I found it hard to settle, could't focus on a future, felt unworthy. I finally got the strength at 30 years old to sort my life out and work on stabilizing it.

I love stability, routine, and a certain amount of predictability - prob due to my erratic past.

I share the same philosophy of "life is too short to be unhappy" I generally am a positive person and have been described as 'cheerful' on more than one occassion.

That's it for now.

posted August 06, 2008 05:16 PM         

I would love to email you and share a bit more! I'm not on myspace, but I am a facebook gal!!

Thank you, thank you for my birthday wish!!