posted August 09, 2008 01:54 PM         

I swear I really don’t get the whole Cancer mood swing thing, it drives me absolutely NUTS!!!

There is this female I know that one minute seeks me out for conversation then the next she swings into b**** mode and pushes me away only to come back a while later and wonder why I'm not being friendly or speaking to her!

My GOD I absolutely don’t have a clue as to how to deal with her. I know we like each other as friends maybe even a little more than that, tho its sometimes hard to tell that because she doesn’t communicate directly with me unless she is having one of her hissy fits.

Strange thing is we seem to have some sort of weird magnetism to each other so I don’t think the moodiness is directly due to me? But she doesn’t project these moods onto anyone else but me when other are around (friends, acquaintances etc...)

I remember reading somewhere that I am not supposed to ask a Cancer about the mood swings because they consider it a direct attack on them. When she is not flipping like a light switch she can be very sweet and caring and has such a big heart, which is what attracted me to her in the first place.

posted August 09, 2008 02:55 PM         

When I read this, tho, I got more a feel of hormonal moodiness rather than Moon madness.

I have known lots of Crab ladies that are far from moody, who exhibit the more positive aspects of the Cancer sun.

posted August 09, 2008 03:30 PM         

ID

posted August 09, 2008 06:45 PM         

And i think regardless of our mood swings we still stick around and when we get over it were back to our loving mood

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ASC: Virgo

posted August 10, 2008 12:29 PM         

she is hyper-sensitive...

posted August 10, 2008 03:37 PM         

seveneieghtorange - I know that sounds frustrating and you said yourself your patience is running low so I would suggest this: talk to her about it. Are you real good friends with her?

Not sure I would characterize things as good friends yet, however we are friendly towards each other hopefully things will progress over time. So I would not necessarily feel comfortable with bringing up the topic unless the situation presents itself. You know this kinda reminds me of that elementary school thing that has happened to everyone at least once where he/she likes you but cant express it so he/she beats the h*** out of you LOL!!

librasunleomoon- O, really? So, I guess my cancer boyfriend only acts ridiculously unpredictable moody around me because he trusts me, so, I'll take it as a complement?

You’re funny I guess I will have to take your approach and look at all of this as major league complements LOL

Inner depths - This isn't an astrological suggestion however - read up on Highly sensitive people and see how they cope with their moods...Any small thing will drive them up the wall....another thing is that how this person feels, does, says or acts has nothing to do with you - it is what they are going through and if you can view them from a detached awareness then things may turn into smooth sailing. It's a trick to see where the other person stands, or experiencing or coming from....

I hear ya maybe I will give that approach a spin as well. Sometimes I can feel the moods coming on and I just want to jump in and help her through it but I guess there is nothing I can do but let it happen and hold on.

belgz & winky_winky It looks like you two have a pretty good handle on the emotions of Cancer folks so I guess the moral to your stories is take a breath, don’t take things personally (how can I not I'm a Scorpio LOL) and be in the moment even if I have to wait a year GOOD GOD!!

posted August 11, 2008 06:29 PM         

That sounds like something i wouldve done with a new boyfriend. What kinda excuse is that though. Seriously im not convinced sounds like u dont like her otherwise you wouldve gone out with her. A Headache can be fixed with some asprin.. If someone i was with said that i would assume they dont care about me and cant be bothered going out with me that night.

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ASC: Virgo

posted August 12, 2008 05:38 AM         

But belgz could be right - once they settle in they relax! My partner has been mellow in the last 2 months - but it has taken over 4 Years!!!

posted August 12, 2008 11:29 AM         

Because when I *like* someone I tend to notice things in that person that I swear were never there before when really, those traits have always been there but I'm just now noticing it more since I'm a bit [secretly] fixiated on them. Im thinking that might be the case with you? Her moodiness has always been there, but you just notice it more?

Or maybe Im totally wrong with this and you are just platonic pals. Okay, so just talk to her about it. It might surprise her what you have to say because she may not even be aware that she does it.

posted August 12, 2008 11:36 AM         

not really this was a case of really bad sickness and i just wasnt feeling well at all, but with my cancer friend, i tend not to take her too seriously, not in the bad sense, it is just that she is really needy and clingy and can really sap the energy out of me sometimes, so i sort of know what she is like what she cares about deeply, but honestly that if i had to put up with all her moods i would be permanently crazy!

also had cancer boyfriend once and to god that he was also the slowest-moving guy i have ever dated, finally had to leave him because he wouldnt move in with me because he lived with his mom and u know how cancer feels with the mother

in this repsect i think linda goodman is right, my boss is also in love with a cancer guy but he is nearing 5o and he wont leave his mother´s house for the world...

reminds me of psycho and red dragon movies, just joking...

posted August 12, 2008 02:12 PM         

I'm a male she is the Cancer. BTW I think you’re right the moodiness was always there I just never paid attention to it or as mentioned earlier by someone else she never showed that side of her emotions to me before.

posted August 12, 2008 07:46 PM         

Based on the information you’ve given I can only guess what’s going on:

1. She may be going through an incredibly tough time in life, and dealing with stuff that has nothing to do with you, but the stress it’s putting her under is bleeding over into the way she relates to you and everyone else. While Cancer’s are moody, I think we rarely try to “take it out” on people. We’re much more inclined to crawl into our shells and mope for days when life gets us down. The fact that you feel she’s taking it out on you makes me think it’s either REALLY bad, or perhaps there’s something off in the way you relate to one another, and it’s YOU that’s making her crabby. : (
2. So let’s consider that there might be something in the chemistry of your personal relationship with one another that’s making her crabby… There’s really nothing that can be done about this. She’d naturally feel drawn to you – that Scorpio-Cancer magnetism is hard to ignore, but perhaps there just isn’t the right personal chemistry there to sustain a real friendship or relationship. Feeling drawn to you, and WANTING to have it work out, but seeing every day that it’s just not quite there could be very frustrating. It certainly seems like you feel the same way. You like this girl, but she’s driving you a bit crazy. Your patience is running thin. Maybe hers is too?
3. There’s also a chance that this girl isn’t the most spiritually refined Cancer. She may just be the type of girl that gets b*tchy, and acts deplorably. That’s definitely not something you want in your life.

I’m not sure how familiar you are with astrology, but I would encourage you to not put too much stock in the magnetism you feel with this lady. Scorpio and Cancer will feel it almost every time. For me, the draw is far stronger than anything I’ve experienced with any other sign, and it happens with almost EVERY Scorpio – including those I would not consider dating. There’s this innate feeling I get when I’m around a Scorpio that this man (or woman) could understand me better and more deeply than any person I’ve ever known. And I feel the same potential understanding for them. I “get” them – we speak the same language. It’s beautiful – but it does not mean most of those people would be good for me in a relationship. In fact, most of them wouldn’t. One of my dearest Scorpio friends is a horrible womanizer, another is my best friends brother and irresponsible and commitment phobic, another is a jaded woman hater. I know none of these men would be good for me – but I feel drawn to them. I’ve had to learn that this feeling of connection I get with Scorps is just something that will always be there because of our trined sun suns – it’s not some mystical sign of destiny or true love.

posted August 13, 2008 04:23 PM         

No she doesn’t verbally berate me there is a lot non verbal stuff like you said "I'm "picking up on her moods via intuition"

You also mentioned that she pushes you away? Could you give me a little more detail on how she does this?

Well one example is she tends to get mentally over loaded sometimes and I sense this and try to help and she will just clam up and ignore me and almost look right thru if I inquire as to what's bothering her.

I don’t think its bad chemistry per say we have known each other for almost a couple of years and while things were very slow the first six months or slow like you stated there was this magnetism but things were cordial.

Then almost out of no where things sped up we starting talking a lot more and getting closer then after almost of year of that she went cold, out of no where I mean no conversations barely a hello or good bye.

Now things are almost back to the way they were when we first met. I suppose that’s when I really started to see the moodiness etc... So I just pulled away for a while and stepped back and then that’s when I get the "what happened to you" "I don’t hear from you" etc...

posted August 14, 2008 12:21 PM         

Winky_Winky I hear ya I certainly cant explain the attraction you really couldn’t find two people who are so different I mean culturally, racially and a bit of an age diference to boot but... my goodness it’s very strong both physically and mentally.

For the heck of it I ran a composite chart and found some interesting things:

Composite Venus in the first house
Composite Pluto Conjunct Ascendant
Composite Venus Conjunct Uranus

I could be wrong but I think the above may explain the attraction somewhat.

posted August 14, 2008 12:35 PM         

Show your vulnerability.
Let her know it hurts and saddens you.
That will sensitize her to you.

Tell her you care about her,
and remind her (and yourself)
of those good qualities that attracted you.

Tell her you want to be there for her,
but you are only human and have your sensitivities too.

You may be giving when you have too little to give,
then resenting her for crossing the boundaries
which you have not even made apparent to her in the first place.

Scorpios do that. I should know; I am one.

posted August 15, 2008 01:00 PM         

But I guess my only good advice is that if you both have no plans to leave your S.O.'s anytime soon I suggest you tell her straight up that her moodiness is bothering you and you feel that its personal. BUT, don't go any deeper than that and leave the connection for what it is, otherwise things could get awkward. O__o

posted August 15, 2008 01:10 PM         

i think libra asc is quite nice, it softens anybody and gives them a personal touch, quite sweet people the ones i have met, at least in appearance, but, above all, manners, nice sweet manners

but i read once that libra asc might be more in need of the Other than libra sun... so dunno...

posted August 15, 2008 04:37 PM         

She is really nice and all but really i am afraid that he wont ever leave his "Edipu´s complex"...

posted August 16, 2008 08:04 AM         

DL - I agree with your recommendation. And, can relate to your memories of ex.