posted August 25, 2008 06:16 PM         

We basically split up before he left (but we have done that before) But this time, he kept saying "i am putting my foot down, if you don't like the things i do, you should leave.

being the pisces that I am, I am thinking that he is just saying this because of anger and it will pass. But he has not called me since he left for washington dc for this biz trip. this is the first time we have not spoken on a daily basis for 2 years. I feel lost and confused and worry that he is doing something on all his off time with his single co workers.

I can't sleep or eat since yesterday.

posted August 26, 2008 11:34 AM         

I hope this will end better for you!

I am no professional astrologer, of course! But I am dealing with that "science" for more than a a decade now, and I studied several boy's charts, concerning my own love life. So: If you feel like putting up this chart, I'd surely would study it as thoroughly as possible - and tell you about my impressions.

Maybe other people would join in ... and share some of thier thoughts too. For me, this method helped immensely, when I had a herat's trouble - although it hurt a bit, how "objectively" other people, who have not been involved in my relationship, have spoken about the astrological pros&cons of the charts I put up. I helped me gain a more "detached" perspective in the end.

If you have the feeling that it would help you ... then put it up, and I'm sure you'll get several responses.

posted August 26, 2008 12:08 PM         

My sons dad said something like this to me, when we were breaking up and I might have been in the same mental place that your in..When he said what he said a lightbulb went off..I thought huh this motherFker does not care sh1t about me..I am out.. And I never looked back and on to better things..There is always something better always, if the man you are with does not treat you the way you know you deserve to be treated, someone else will..Just gotta take that chance and step out there..

posted August 26, 2008 10:47 PM         

he left without his computer or cell phone charger. never told me where he was staying, if he was sharing a room or when he was coming back.

I don't know if this is severe enough to say we are split up or that he is going through a cancer retreat.

i am sickened by the thought of him leaving on bad terms and cheating on me or going to strip bars as my freinds seem to tell me usually happens on biz trips. my mind is racing.

i am trying desperately to have peace of mind and look at things from all views.i feel dizzy and cant eat. i know i sound pathetic but i am being completely honest.

here are charts, can anyone see what i am dealing with?

posted August 27, 2008 06:07 PM         

His chart:

- Sun cj. Saturn cj. Mercury in 12th house, all in emotional Cancer: He is working things out on his own, does not find it easy to share his thoughts - maybe lacks confidence (self-confidence or trust in others); secretive - keeps things to himself; finds communication risky and can feel shy with it. >>> All these 3 planets in the secretive 12th house form a quincunx whith his Neptune and Vertex in 5th house (house of romance, play, adventure, flirting, games) in adventurous and humourus Sagittarius - I guess he is easy to impress and/or very romantically bound, likes to dream his days away sometimes, and in his fantasies he is very bold, playful, lighthearted and easy going; also: If romantically approached by someone else, this makes his fantasy work quickly and lets him make far reaching, big plans quickly - but all this is "controlled" or "censored" or "kept in check" by his more serious/cautious and secretive "mental judiciary", placed in his 12th. In short: he may not act as "bold" and romantically adventurous, as he would want to.

- His Venus in Gemini 11th - opposing his Neptune in Sagittarius in 5th: Venus in hard aspect to Neptune can be a nuisance. Sometimes such an aspect is rated as a typical "cheater's" aspect - but I would not subsribe to that. (I have my own Venus square my Neptune - I NEVER cheated - but have been cheated on a few times; my love life is under the spell of quick illusions - I always get disappointed in a way, the glasses I am wearing on the outset of a love story are wayyyyy toooo rose coloured - desillusion always follows for sure - and then I have to see how to cope with that, whether an idealized love can stand the test of reality ... or not.) Lack of clearsightedness in love. With that guy ... he builds his romantic hopes very high (far reaching Sagittarius-Neptune in 5th house) - but in "reality" his Venus is placed rather in the "comrad's" house (11th) and in mental and versatile Gemini. He needs mental/verbal/intellectual variety and craves a big friends' circle, he can seem detached and rather has many friends of a more entertaining nature than a few close ones. He's a "group type" and does not crave "personal intimacy" so much, rather mental stimulation, fun, and easy goingness. He wants his lover to be outgoing and not only a lover, but also a friend and confidante.

- Also, his Moon cj. North Node (both Sag. in the 5th) oppose his Venus. Not sure whether this is "good" or "bad". Might be that he tends to go above board in love easily, inflated feelings, falls in love quickly, gains a lot of personal experience from his love life, craves much stimulation and versatility in this regard - emotional "standstills" he doesn't like. Wishes his love life to evolve constantly. Quite "emotional" in love, not always a "cool head" in that regard.

- His Pluto (in 3rd/Libra) squares his Sun-Mercury-Saturn-Stallium in 12th: Mind games, righteousness, not always upfront, but a certain degree of manipulation and again: secretiveness going on here. He may be swayed by other's opinions easily and seeaks to defend himself - or tends to try to convince others all the times, tries to put his secret agenda through, wants to keep the upper hand in his nearer surroundings, feels he has to defend himself often and to "fight for his will". Doesn't take communication very lightly, some suspicious trait ...

- Mars in Leo in 1st, trining his 5th house Neptune & Vertex in 5th - a lover AND a fighter - acts out on his romantic impulses, likes friendly game playing, is generous and glamourous, when romance is in the air, can "play-act" in a generous way, proud (Leo), quite masculine, idealistic. Sexual fantasies above board, does not always act on them.

- his Juno cj. Ceres cj. Jupiter in 9th house in Pisces: Quite idealistic ideas about marriage/bonding/partnerships. Expects his partner/wife to expand his horizons, mentally and maybe also geographically; again, with Jupiter (ruled by Sagittarius) in Sag's 9th house: He needs "room to roam", high moral/ethical ideals, freedom (mentally) and high expectations as far as intellectual stimulation goes. Feels nurtured when being shown and tought new perspectives - and nurtures others by granting them a lot of space. Doesn't follow the idea of a "couch potato"-marriage where everything stays the same all the time; has got "ants in his pants", especially in a relationship and craves for honesty, trust and generosity in a mate. Optimistic, can infuse optimism in his partner and wants to be inspired and spurred on as well. A bit nervous sometimes, needs much activity and movement in a relationship

- his Eros cj. his Chiron in his 10th: GOSH! A remarkable combo, I guess - but I have no real clue on that. I only know that my last boyfriend had this cj. in his 7th .... and it was a very difficult factor for me, his partner. Don't want to say anything wrong about this, though.

I left out the transits now, and I might take a look at your own chart soon.

PROGRESSIONS to his chart:

- pr. Sun cj. his natal Mars: Strong need to act out his most personal impulses of "being himself" currently - craves to shine and to rule over his own life

- pr. Vesta cj. his Uranus in 4th: a need to change his familiar/common surroundings, to make a major overhaul (very personally) is well fed by the energy of of pr. Vesta

- pr. Venus wandering through his 12th: "Love" may not be the rop priority in his life, currently - rather on the backburner.

All in all: An intersting, emotional, quite idealistic man - with a touch of seceretiveness and righteousness. No specific "cheaters" aspects here, I'd say. His highly developed idealism may hinder his happiness sometimes. A "character" ... Much concern with his own ego - his DC in stable, earthy, reliably Capricorn ... needs and secretely craves quite mature, headstrong partner.

* All for the moment *

posted August 27, 2008 06:37 PM         

thank you so much. i have more a peace of mind. my mind strays at times and i confuse it with intuition. i will be curious to see what you find in my chart because i think that may be a problem for me and my chart might verify this.

anyway, he doesn't seem like a cheater when the whole chart is looked at then? i hope that is what you meant. i will just believe that and try to understand that he needed his space and believe he is not doing anything in washington that would hurt me beyond repair.

i want you to know that you doing this for me means so much right now. i have had a hard year already losing my little brother and my job during the week (i am a musician on the weekends)and this would be a little too much to handle right now if i was with a truely cruel man and didnt' realize it.

i consider you a friend.

if you want to check out my site you can.

posted August 27, 2008 07:03 PM         

thanks for mentioning the friendship thing - I guess most of the people are friends around here, because we all share our knowledge - sometimes we receive help and sympathy by others (I did already) - and sometimes it is oneself who might support someone else in reflecting on a problem.

To repeat it: No - This guy's chart does not scream "cheater" to me. There are other factors necessary which would evoke that impression.

Still ... a chart is only a chart. I can understand that you crave some sort of re-assurance in your current situation. And I really believe that this guy is not a "liar" or something.

I just want to protect you further by metioning one more thing: An astrological is never "the answer" or at least: not the only valid answer to a personal question.

See ... I mentioned it before: In spring, I got hurt very much and suffered from a real bad heartbreak myself (some of the other forum-members have witnessed in a handful of threads I posted on this topic.) And even though that man and I shared several so called "karmic" or "soulmate" links in our synastry and everything looked quite promising ... it all ended very nasty.

This sounds pessimistic now - but pessimism is NOT AT ALL what I wanted to send to you! All I am trying to say (as a foreign language spaker) is: "Real life" is the language we all must understand - and IF a person treats us in a way that makes us feel uncomfortable ... then we have to think about that - no matter what a chart is saying.

I am sorry to hear about the bad things you have gone through lately. My own life hasn't been too easy during the last 8-10 months too.

All I can say is: Equality is an important factor for a valuable relationship - each of the partners should feel equally strong, in general (this is not possible in every second, of course, there are situations when the balance is shifting, of course.)

BUT: I guess it is worthwhile to re-think about what you (still) expect from that man. Hardly is is ever possible that someone else "relieves" us or "saves" us from our own lifes. If you attach that kind of "power" to him ... maybe only in your heart and mind ... I'm afraid you might weaken yourself.

I just want you to take care - and not put all your hopes on "one card" only - even if, currently, this man seems to be "the one card" for you. No matter how hard we would try, if he tried to: He would not be able to fulfill such high expectations anyway - no one could.

I guess ... your relationship is in a state of change, at least. The way you describe it. And from some close Pisces-friends I know a bit about the "martyr"-factor in this sign (sorry - I don't want to hurt you! Don't know how to express it better.) All I wanna say is: Don't hurt yourself more than this guy ever could hurt you - by putting him (and all your hopes) on a pedestal ...

I wish you fresh thoughts soon! Refreshment, emotionally and mentally. So that you stand in front of that man as a strong person, when he shows up again.

"Imagination" is your strong point as a Piscean - right? So ... imagine yourself in the passive/waiting/desperate position ... and imagine yourself in a slightly more detached/egocentric/proud position ... which imagination do you like better?

If this guy gives you reason to "step back a little" from your original hopes and idealization ... dare to take that step back - and try to take a fresh and clear view on everything.

I wish you strength. You seem to be ... in a process. Don't fight it - but dare to think the "impossible" also. NOT fantasizing about what he might do with whom ... but fantasizing about your own life - with OR without him. Really: Be your own best friend and care about yourself while he has left you "out there" ... and see what your own inner "best friend" would recommend you - okay?

posted August 27, 2008 10:35 PM         

I am sorry to hear what you went thru. pain bears fruit though, i think. it seems that the only way to grow is thru pain.

I am still very sad because i know he knows i am upset over this and still has not made contact to at least let me know he made the trip ok. His relatives are not from around here and i have never met his parents since he doesn't have a good relationship with them. space is good but at least a courtesy call would have been nice. its funny, i feel like i am in a weird mourning process. one minute i am crying, the next i am so mad, and i just hate him. then i miss him and love him again when i wake up in the morning.

i do want to be strong when he comes back sometime next week (that is if he is still alive, but he probably is since only the good die young)

posted August 30, 2008 05:19 PM         

Hey Sinderlou,

I took a look at your chart too, now. Most strinking impression I got stems from the strong opposition between your Uranus-Pluto-conjunct in 11th (some say it's the house of "receiving love") - and your impressive stellium in the 5th house (house for self-esteem and self-expression, romance, fun, etc.) You've got so many planets there, Sun, Mercury, Mars, Chiron - all of these in more or less tight opposition to Uranus/Pluto. And you also have Moon and Saturn close to these in the 5th.

I am not so sure about the impact of this opposition, and it seems to be a "generational factor" too, found in many people's charts that have been born between 1964 and 1965... All I read about that is that there is a tendency for strong upheavals, that come suprisingly and suddenly - but with strong force, when Uranus and Pluto are conjunct. And these "revolutionary" urges tend to have an impact on the planets opposed by Uranus/Pluto. In your case this would be Sun, Mercury, Mars and Chiron ... and your 5th house - so the upheavals might play a role in your (sexual?romantic?) love life again and again - really "shock" you - and turn you upside down.

This is just a GENERAL remark.

On the other hand, your Venus in 7th in steadfast Taurus speaks of some trustworthiness and gentleness, forming a sextile to your Moon and a rather easy-to-handle trine with your revolutionary Uranus - so it might be easy to get along with you, you're probably quite patient - and found a way to handle the frequent emotional shake-ups ... (?)

Looking at current transits, I see tr. Saturn cj. your wild Uranus/Pluto-cj. - putting some sort of "brake" on that revolutionary factor. On the other hand, in the opposing 5th house, tr. Uranus cj. your Sun and Mercury - so that this time, the "revolutionary tendencies" come from the other side - as if they were of your own making this time, and not imposed by others on you ... Don't know - would this make sense to you? That this time it is YOU who shakes things up and who might act and feel and speak impatiently ... not satisfied with the status quo? Tr. Saturn really puts a damper on your potential hopes for quick and easy overhaul/change in your far reaching 11th house - and you are not content with this slow movement ... (?)

Progressions: Your progressed Sun and Mercury are dancing between your natal Venus and Vertex in 7th house, currently ... So "LOVE" makes you wonder these days and there is some possbility (and maybe: an urge) to find a new understanding in matters of love.

When I take a quick look at the SYNASTRY between that guy and you, I see this, for instance:

His Sun-Mercury-Saturn-cj. (from his 12th) conjunct your NN in 9th - definitely a student-teacher-relationship, so to speak, a teaching of valuable (not necessarily easy or welcome) lessons involved. I see, you're about 10 years older than him ... nevertheless it could be you who is on the "learning end". Maybe trying to "understand" him and get into his (well hidden) mind ... elevates your personal knowledge/understanding? Or ... you might teach him. NOT very light, this conjunction, from my feel - deep, subconsious, sometimes maybe uncomfortable stuff going on here.

His Ceres-cj-Juno cj. your Mars-cj-Chiron - his way or style of "bonding" and "caring" for a partner might ring a bell with your (wounded?) male side ... might incite some disappointment ... or inspire some healing in this regard. Seems as if "masculinity" has hurt you before - either your own masculine side or by male persons who disappointed you in the past...? In any case, his relationship style is linked to that factor in your own chart.

But again ... his Juno-Ceres form a comfortable trine to your North Node - you have the chance to UNDERSTAND and EVOLVE these questions in your personal life through the contact with him. This is not a superficial connection you have with this guy - but ... not necessarily a great and lasting love as well. I mean: How it comes out in the end ... the stars don't tell us, we only can take the setting and make the best oft it, like: accepting a weather report ... or not (getting soaked and wet or bringing an umbrella ... depends on us alone.)

Apart from that I see some configurations who also deliver some "steam" to this coupling ... quite a dose of excitement involved (which can be fun, and also can be aggravating... never a 100% "good" or "bad" aspect in astrology). You have, for instance, his Neptune square your Moon (who is wearing the rose coloured glasses in this combo?) - you also have his Moon and North Node square your Sun and Mercury (one of you is quite "touchy" and easily feels offended...) - and finally: His Venus square your Uranus - great excitement - but will it be lasting? And, again: Who feels less secure in this Combo?

These are some of the questions your Synastry is asking ...

posted August 30, 2008 10:06 PM         

your reading was definitely hitting some things that i felt but was absolutely sure of. thank you for clearing some things. i understand myself a little better. and yes, i have turmoil and sudden shocks in my life that have changed me forever. i watch loved ones die suddenly in front of me when they were suppose to be ok etc...i remember passing out from shock. so i just have this doomed part of my chart that i have to live with??? you would think that i would be ready for the shocks and surprises but i never am.

we do have a teacher-student relationship and it shifs back and forth and yes again, i have learned and grown so much being around him. he never bores me, he opens up my world and i just want to keep exploring it with him. i feel this is where i should be. i feel like he touches me deeply, in my soul, like we were supposed to meet and i never spoke of any man like that before. i used to dream of a man when i was a little girl that would pick me up in his arms and hold me and we were so much in love. he looks like that man that i dreamed of.

so our charts do not say that we will be together or part? and they do not say that he is a cheater? (friends say all gem venus guys are cheaters and cant help themselves but i really think the whole chart needs to be looked at)

if i understand correctly, the synastry indicates that this is a meeting to enlighten each other? he makes me tackle my biggest fears (abandonment, fear of being disrepected by being cheated on, he challenges me, and no man usually did that) i honestly always were with men that sort of kissed my butt so to speak. he doesn't. i respect him for that. he makes me want to stand on my own two feet instead of being catered to. he makes me feel like he treats me with "tough love". I probably sound strange saying all this stuff but i have been morphing into so many levels of feeling and thought with this whole abandoned situation that i am starting to feel like a prophet that just thinks and doesn't eat or drink.

i wanted to send you some photos so you have a better idea of who you are graciously helping and i hope i can give back to you someday or the universe will most definitely because you are really helping me. it will not be forgotten.

this is him