posted September 04, 2008 09:58 PM
Hello,I just sent the following to a friend of mine, it is part of an e-mail-conversation – but I thought I could post it here as well – and might ask you to share you “personal values” too.
Guess it might be quite enlightening, if you post your chart with it – because others could learn about the personal value systems that come with specific astrological constellations then. I know, this is “personal”. But: What isn’t in this forum? ;-) So: Maybe you want to join in? Here’s mine:
I can only criticize what I can understand.
In case I don’t understand, I ask questions (that might enable me to criticize later).
Critique is a sign of genuine interest.
Critique is a sign of caring.
Sometimes (not always) critique is an indicator of love.
I am equally good in criticizing and making compliments.
For every single compliment I get, I give out three (not necessarily to the one I was complimented by).
It is equally hard for me to accept praise and critique.
I tend to comment compliments give to me by other people.
If you’re afraid of critique or, even worse, if critique inspires you to take revenge, I cannot take you for serious, you turn into a ridiculous toddler within seconds, irreversibly.
If I am on the receiving end of critique myself, there are only two ways for me to react:
a) Either I feel cared for and spurred on and will gladly enter a verbal/mental battle with you, in a friendly competitive way, which might surprise you with its intensity – and I’d be willing to win - but also able to admit intellectual defeat, if you can convince me that I am wrong (which is a rare case - and something you’d sweep me off my feet with, completely.)
b.) Or, if I perceive your critique as sloppy and not well thought-out, I’d consider you an ignorant wet-blanket, over-estimating yourself, would never be able to revamp this impression of your completely and then might just leave you at the side, sooner or later, moving on to more fascinating adventures.
I cannot cope with people who allude too much - especially not when their feelings are concerned, and even less in matters of love. I consider “allusions” as a way of emotional blackmail and cowardice. As I stressed before: This mainly goes for emotional matters. I can be totally stubborn in this regard and sometimes refuse to “read between the lines”, and deliberately pretend to “not understand” – be it something “nice” or something “not so nice”, that is alluded. If someone wants to get closer to me, he or she would have to speak in plain words. This is not because I am not able to understand and actually “read between the lines” – I am just not willing to. So I pretend to “not get it” – until the other person dares to speak her/his mind more clearly – or until I say “Bye, see you later. Maybe.” I am extremely serious with that, and I’ve got my reasons: I want to test the integrity, the courage and the will of a person. Either you say something – or you keep it to yourself. It is very simple. And it’s because I value my own integrity, courage and will very much. A person who wants to be close to me, be it as a friend, boyfriend or husband, would have to be equally straightforward. Or: equally secretive, depending on the actual situation. Otherwise I’d run her/him over, sooner or later - he/she would cry and/or feel repelled - and I’d feel equally repelled. And bored quickly. Allusions are a waste of time.
With me, you can be whatever you want.
As long as you leave me be whatever I am.
I appreciate your idiosyncrasies, I value every inch of your individuality. I can make you bigger than you ever thought you could be. I can show you things about yourself that shine, and I have the capacity to thoroughly convince you about how much you shine - so that you look at yourself with total amazement. But I won’t accept your slightest attempt to make me smaller as I am.
I know that I spur on and inspire other people more often than vice versa. I infuse other people with enthusiasm - much more often than others infuse me. I have accepted this as a fact, have made my peace with that - and don’t expect any immediate rewards (at least not in this lifetime).
I can forgive almost anything, without making a big deal out of it. I can say (and mean it): “Okay – I understand. So, let’s forget about that.” But only if it is honestly admitted, only if no lame excuses or explanations are applied. Try to accuse someone or something else for your own mistakes - and my inner judiciary rates you “lame duck”, irreversibly.
I can make something out of nothing.
I believe in the word “Grandezza”.
I look at all and everything as a story.
I like names - names of persons, places, ideas and things. If a name is well chosen, the whole story is told already, and you don’t need one more word.
If you’re not into music, if you’re the type of person who “is listening to what is on the radio or what is in the charts right now” … I cannot have sex with you.
If in love with you, I am capable of impressing compromises, of an amazing adaptability that borders to submission - and that might surprise both of us, you and me.
If I’m not in love, but only your friend, neighbour, colleague, it’s a whole different story with compromises. In this case, I’d rather “do it alone” than accept too many compromises. (I would not fight with you then – I’d just shut my ears, wish you all the best, make a “short process” and do it on my own.)
I have a sense for irony in things, people, ideas, names, places, stories.
I collect coincidences.
I believe that what one does and thinks does have consequences – even if it is done and thought behind closed doors. That’s why I try to keep my heart and mind clean and, basically, awake – even if that hurts sometimes.
Lindaland
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posted September 04, 2008 09:58 PM
