posted September 15, 2008 06:22 PM         

ive been seeing a virgo for two months now after we met via an online dating site. He is incredibly swweet and caring and things moved quite quickly between us. The problem i have is that he is still a memeber of the dating site and still goes online and responds to contacts (dont ask how i know lol) while at the same time he is telling me frequently he loves me bla bla bla and acting as if he does love me...we talk virtually each night on the phone, send texts through the day and pass as many weekends together as we can. We have met each others respective children and things seem to be going real well but for this dating site stuff...

Any advice anyone... i dont know whether Im being oversensitive due to the fact that i know he still goes online there (he doesnt know i know) If i didnt know i would just be living in ignorant bliss right??

Is it normal for a virgo to hedge his bets like this or play about or whatever hes doing whilst doing all the i love you bit with someone??

Please a little help for my confused hurt and a bit p****d off aries brain...

posted September 15, 2008 06:46 PM         

Ask him. Communication is Key. Not in a confrontational way, but just let him know you have seen him on the site and how it affects you. (you really don't KNOW if he is responding, do you, unless you are a webmaster or something for the site). I was in your situation before, and I just came right out and asked. Believe it or not, according to his explanation, he didn't consider himself being "active" if he was just logging on. He said he was not responding to any winks or emails, just logging on because his subscription was a 6-month, etc. At any rate, once we talked it through, he stopped using it. At least that was what he said and I chose to believe him because of our talk and how he said he felt about me. I never checked the site again no matter how much I wanted to. It's a question of trust, really.

Just never assume anything, etoile03. It could come back to bite you. Give him the benefit of the doubt. If he is not trustworthy, he'll eventually expose himself.

posted September 16, 2008 08:50 AM         

I am trying not to assume anything, but its quite hard when youve had bad experiences before...

The i love you bit was a bit early perhaps, but it feels so mutually right that i dont question it, all his actions speak that hes being truthful...

I know im going through some awkward transits at the moment, so perhaps ill wait till after they finish to say anything, his sub might be a month one in which case it finishes at the end of the month...

Its a real difficult one for me to work through as ive been through so many bad man experiences I dont want to stuff this one up for nothing...

posted September 16, 2008 10:58 AM         

As far as I know he only chatted with me, but he is a womanizer, he looks and compares, and at work he is one of the only males and calls the women he works with his "harem" I am not worried one bit as I know he absolutely loves me. It did bother me at first that he was always looking at women so I just told him that it did. He is very caring and sensitive so that helps. Just talk to him, having issues now will only get worse and make trust an issue.

posted September 16, 2008 11:40 AM         

its weird cos I do trust him even though it sounds as though I dont... I think i have a fear that what we have will finish and i would be devastated if it did, we are so so good together, and thats whats putting these doubts in my mind... time will tell as they say.

I wonder also how much of this insecurity related to us being 1.30 hours away from each other...