posted September 24, 2008 01:17 AM         

He is 44 yrs old...16 yrs older than me. I've mentioned him in a previous thread before in the beginning stages of our dating. But it's evolved quite a bit since then...and as strange as it may sound, it keeps evolving AGAINST MY WILL. I know it sounds crazy, but this relationship has taken on a life of its own. I tried to end it with him about a month ago, when we finally decided to be intimate, and he well....wasn't "up" to par in his performance. I felt repulsed and kind of grossed out by his lack of "ability", and told him I did not think we should see eachother anymore. (But gave him different reasons of course.)

He kept persisting, and asking to see me after that so finally I gave in and saw him again. This relationship is so strange because I feel attracted to him, yet repulsed sometimes. I can't stand him, but at the same time can't get enough of him. I will feel intense love for him one moment, then complete indifference the next. What the heck is going on here?

I feel like he is some kind of addiction, I want to get away but I can't. Something feels like it's "holding" me in this relationship...against my will!

I know this sounds crazy, but I don't know what to do, and what is going on? He is a good guy, and very sweet, and treats me so well. We have a fun time together, but physically he's not my type at all. Not to be superficial, but he's chubby and short and OLD, yet I feel intense attraction for him, but I really don't want to be attracted to him. Sometimes I catch myself feeling "icked out", but then I can't wait to see him again.

Am I crazy? Can someone please, please, please take a look at our charts and tell me what the heck is going on? Is this karma...payback time or something? Why do I stick around even when I'm repulsed? Maybe he has a spell on me??? I don't know. How much longer will this go on?

HELP!

SYNASTRY CHART:

COMPOSITE CHART:

posted September 24, 2008 11:10 AM         

But sometimes I actually physically feel repulsed, (I know that is horrible to say)then other times I'll feel incredibly attracted too.

How is it possible to feel such different extremes?