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Author
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Topic: My boss and I have the weirdest relationship..why?
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ScorpioCentaur
Knowflake Posts: 72
From: Montreal
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 26, 2008 04:47 AM
 
Two and a half years ago, I left my chosen career job (fashion industry) to start working in a bar...for many reasons some being financial..
Because of the nature of my job, I have come to expect a far less professional and by the book atmosphere, obviously...
My boss is a total player, he is goodlooking, rich and charming with the ladies. He is never lacking a steady stream of hot ladies following him around. After 2 and a half years, im actually repulsed by the lifestyle he leads of total self-gratification with little care for the women who he conquers.
On many occasions he has propositioned me and made it clear that any time I want he would be more than happy to sleep with me.
I'm not looking for the type of relationship he's so famous for nor do I want to get into any emotional trouble with my boss.
He's extremely jealous when im entertaining my bar clients, butts into the middle of conversations etc...
I've recently started dating a fellow coworker and my boss has found out about it. Since he's found out, he has slept with my best girlfriend whom I work with (and asked her if she will be telling me), made the guy who i'm seeing's life a total hell by giving him crap every minute,totally ignores me and wont look at me in the eye.
It's so bad that the guy who i'm seeing is finding it hard to believe that I have never had anything with him (but I havnt!)
Many months ago, my manager who has been working for my boss for 7 years and knows him very well told me that my boss will never have a serious relationship with anyone else as long as I'm in his life.
It's so strange because he's not the type to be settled down with a girlfriend but it seems that he takes me more seriously than everyone else. Yet, he'll never admit any feelings for me, because I have always rejected his sexual advances.
I'm posting his chart and mine, does anyone see anything of particular interest? Is there some sort of obsession here? Do I need to change jobs as soon as possible? (I hate change thats why I havnt done this already)...
Any feedback or advice would be so appreciated. I feel like as long as he is my boss, he will try to control my life!
http://www.astro.com/cgi/chart.cgi?cid=fqifilekPVIrI-u1185826658&lang=e&gm=a1&nhor=432312&nho2=1725347&btyp=61&mth=gw&sday=26&smon=9&syr=2008&hsy=-1&zod=&orbp=&rs=0&ast=
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Peri
Moderator Posts: 2648
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003
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posted September 26, 2008 06:16 AM
you should stay away from him...i have met men like him  he is a player...he does not have any feelings for you...it is all his hurt HUGE ego that wont leave you alone ... such type of guys get mad if you arent ready to jump in his bed straight away...deep down they are very very insecure so when they meet someone who can resist their 'charms' they can get dangerous and obsessive but be careful it is not love, it is hurt ego...  IP: Logged |
swirl-kitt
Knowflake Posts: 239
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 26, 2008 07:13 AM
I'm so sorry that you have to put up with such an idiot- who happens to be your boss !Obviously, he has no respect for women at all and the only reason he won't leave you alone is.. Well, ask yourself, do you really think he would treat you any differently once he would be able to sleep with you ? I think you have managed him well so far. I wouldn't change my approach if I were you. And if you're planning to go on working there for months/years to come, and somehow manage to convince him in the future that you won't sleep with him, ever, then he might start treating you awfully-not in the way he does now- I have seen this happen before. Never doubt yourself. Cheers. A fellow scorpio  IP: Logged |
Astra
Knowflake Posts: 553
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted September 26, 2008 07:16 AM
I think I found the culprit: your boss' pluto squares your mars. This means that one of you (usually the pluto person or your boss in this case) tries to dominate the mars person (in this case, you). There is definitely a strong sexual attraction between you and it's driving this guy to the point of obsession. Unfortunately, with this aspect, the mars person usually does not feel as strongly as the pluto person and is uncomfortable with the pluto person's advances. Also, your mars is in his eighth house, so this only magnifies his sexual attraction towards you.This guy does not care at all about you. I repeat: this guy does NOT care about you. There are two reasons your boss is obsessed with you: (a) he's very attracted to you (you're probably quite beautiful) (b) you did not give into his advances unlike the previous women, making you more intriguing. Your boss is a classic player. Because he was not able to conquer you so easily like all of those other beautiful women, his ego is bruised like Peri said and he is more determined than ever to conquer you. The key word here is "conquer." That's all he's interested in and that's why he is paying excessive attention to you. The very moment you sleep with him, he has conquered you and he'll toss you away just like those other women. I know you hate change, but it's probably better for you in the long run if you can find another job. Your boss has gone overboard with sexual harassment; he is in a position of power and is abusing it in order to sleep with women, including his employees. If you really don't want to quit your job, you better start documenting everything that's happened. Write down names of any witnesses. You may need this later to file a sexual harassment suit if his behavior becomes intolerable. Did you every try telling him privately exactly how you feel about this situation? I know there's probably very little chance that he actually cares about your feelings, but it's important to ask him directly because if you report him to someone, he can easily say that you never clearly said that his behavior made you uncomfortable, so he persisted. Saying "no" to his advances was definitely a good idea, but you also need to tell him in no uncertain terms that his behavior towards you is making you very uncomfortable and that you would appreciate it if he would stop. Tell him that you want to keep things between you and him on a strictly professional level. Make sure you document the day and time that you tell him this. Only tell him this in private otherwise you will bruise his ego even more and he will lash out at you. Good luck, dear. I wish you well!
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PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 6677
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
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posted September 26, 2008 07:48 AM
I think Peri got it straight. He's not in love with you and doesn't have any feelings for you - he's just aggravated by the fact that you won't give in to him because he's not used to it. It's all about gratifying his ego and nothing else.IP: Logged |
Marila1313
Knowflake Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Aug 2008
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posted September 26, 2008 09:10 AM
Your boss wants you because he know he can't have you. His Leo Sun and Sag Moon LOVE a good challenge, and that's all he's after. Plus, just my looking at you synastry, IF you were to have a relationship with him, it wouldn't go anywhere. Oh and don't forget, a guy that sleeps around that much isn't good cause of the higher risk of contracting an STD. IP: Logged |
Got Gemini?
Knowflake Posts: 1037
From: Mercury
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted September 26, 2008 10:11 AM
Aww man, this one is easy! He wants you because you haven't given it up to him! It's that simple LOL. Astrologically speaking, the big red "X" in the chart should tell you to stay away LOL!------------------
Virgo Asc 6˚& Mars 0˚
Gemini Sun 24˚
Libra Moon 14˚(conjunct Pluto 0˚ in 2nd house)
Gemini Mercury 25˚
Cancer Venus 29˚
And yes, i'm a guy! IP: Logged |
amowls
Knowflake Posts: 866
From: Richmond, VA USA
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted September 26, 2008 11:26 AM
He doesn't actually have feelings for you, you just hurt his pride so now he's making it his mission to win you over. Once he does that, he'll be done.IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 559
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007
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posted September 26, 2008 12:25 PM
Do they not have sexual harrassment laws in Canada?
Because I think his giant ego would have never tried again to proposition you had you made it crystal clear that it was never going to happen.
We are not in the Dark Ages now wherein you would lose your job if you did that.I suspect a couple of things Scorpio.
By posting the charts you have shown interest (if he was a repulsive fat 60 year old slob you would never have done that)
You would have just given him a swift slap around the head and gone "Yuk. Are you kidding me??? And I think he knows you are intrigued.
Yes I know you are going to come out fighting and say "NOOOOO
But secretly aren't you a tiny bit flattered by his obssession? (I'm not lecturing love. Been there and done it!)
Aint anyone on the planet immune to that. And are you not maybe thinking you could tame him? (yeah done that too!)
And are you not secretly jerking his chain by dating co worker?
And underneath it all quite enjoying it? Cos I would be! Light blue touch paper and stand well back!  IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4497
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted September 26, 2008 08:18 PM
I think after 2.5 years (and possibly 2.5 years of this carrying on), you would've with the greatest respect got the message to move on. It is likely that he will still be your boss and you his subordinate and he will continue on with this behaviour if you stay in this job. Nothing will change, so please get out because at the moment, you do appear to be rather masochistic. And I know it would be hard to get out considering he is naturally in a position to be your referee but if it bothers you that much and it appears to have, then again, you must get out for your own mental health's sake. IP: Logged |
ScorpioCentaur
Knowflake Posts: 72
From: Montreal
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 28, 2008 05:07 AM
Ok.....
So maybe I do enjoy the fact (a little) that he never has problems with getting women into his bed, and I have yet to accept any of his advances. I'll admit that. But, I felt since the first minute I met this man that someone had to put him in his place. Am I sexually attracted to him?, yes, but I am disgusted by his personality.
And, I do have genuine feelings for the man that I'm seeing right now (who I work with as well) and it is none of my boss's business who I chose to be with.
I know I need to get out of there, I feel like the whole situation is one bad episode of Melrose Place! I'm looking in the classified section under employment as we speak.
How do I get myself into these messes?????
Peace all,
ScorpioCentaurIP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4497
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted September 28, 2008 05:15 AM
Congratulations, you have just learnt the power of house overlays. Aspects point to what is your type, house overlays point to attractions that aren't necessarily with those of your type and go against common sense. He has his Mars in your 7th - an angular house that can denote a lot of sexual attraction. He has his Venus/Pluto in your 8th. It will never switch off. You have to basically find a way of moving out of the position. IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 559
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007
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posted September 28, 2008 05:16 AM
Oh don't worry Scorp! It's part of the rich tapestry of life and what makes you realise you are young, vibrant and have choices.Indeed you do, so make some! Choose to leave OR (and I did this) take him up and see what happens.
I married mine. He was a bloody lunatic (not dangerous) and it didn't last 5 mins, but do you know what?
I wouldn't have missed it for the world. So much positive stuff came out of it. I was a changed person for the better and I moved on with nary a backward glance.
Closure my dear! Closure with a capital C!!! Have fun. Don't take it too seriously. You're a big girl, you can handle it!! IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4497
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted September 28, 2008 05:22 AM
Also his Sun is also in your 7th, placements of planets in this house instinctively draws the house person to the planet person. Because part of your 7th falls in Leo, you seek Leo/Solar-like qualities in your partners. He knows that you are instinctively drawn, he knows you might want a relationship. In the meantime, he is doing the Leo tantrum thing by manipulating everyone around you. I've seen this happen with Leos myself, I had one who I had my Mars in his 8th, the results were mind games/behaviour like your Leo.IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4497
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted September 28, 2008 05:28 AM
Yeah as Bunnies said, you could take him up, he will be very generous and expand you. See how his Jupiter hovers around your Sco stellium? You might learn a lot from him. Also Mars square Venus, Mars square Sun, Mars conj Moon, Venus/Ura square your NN. The aspects are endless. IP: Logged |
ScorpioCentaur
Knowflake Posts: 72
From: Montreal
Registered: Jan 2007
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posted September 29, 2008 02:20 AM
Hilarious,The last thing I expected from you lindalanders was to tell me to go for it!
Do you guys seriously think there would be a chance we would actually get along?
He's such a man-***** ! IP: Logged |
23
Knowflake Posts: 4497
From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted September 29, 2008 02:28 AM
Well, I'm just looking at the evidence in front of me. You finally fessed up to an attraction, you don't have to even have a relationship with him. But if you don't want to have anything to do with him, then as mentioned, you need closure and you need to get out because I think your ego is just getting off the game. IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 559
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007
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posted September 29, 2008 03:10 AM
Well when you think about it you have spent over 2 years of your life wondering.....Maybe it is you who will teach him how to live as a responsible loving human being...maybe not. Maybe he will work you over good style and you will be left wringing your hands in despair. Maybe you will get it out of your system, (as did I).You will realise that you never want to let that destructive experience into your orbit ever again and come out of it a much kinder and mature human being ready to embrace life and relationships with a whole different viewpoint. The one thing you do not ever want to do, is to be fearful of life and experiences.
Life is a little easier when we are honest with ourselves above all else.
You want the man. He may hurt you, maybe not but one day you do not want to be sitting thinking back and doing a Marlon Brando in "On the Waterfront" I could have been a contender!!! IP: Logged |
venusdeindia
Knowflake Posts: 1630
From: mumbai,india
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 29, 2008 03:11 AM
ScorpioCentaur, i have seen that EXACT same specimen in my college. Trust me, its an Egoblackhole that he sucks women in. Period.here
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/010359.html
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Lindaland
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