posted October 08, 2008 01:12 PM         

I have been really perplexed about things with the Gemini. Can anyone tell me anything about his chart? Or what went wrong with us. He says contradictory things and I don't know what to believe. He says he doesn't see a future for us anymore, but doesn't think he will ever get married now and doesn't think he will ever love anyone as much as me. Says he wants to me friends because he loves me, but it's just not going to work. How do you know that if you don't try?

I have to let go and move on, but it's really hard. He was my best friend and now it doesn't exist, doesn't matter. A part of me hope he regrets it--and realizes what he lost. He sent me a picture of him crying--which I thought was odd, plus he never cries. I called to tell him I wanted to get the rest of my things and he said because he was moving at the end of the month and he'd like to use my stuff til then....kinda weird. why is he being so cruel?? I think there has always been a control issue with him. He wants to do what he wants, but the minute I want to do something he seems threatened. I don't understand how you could be this way if you love someone.

Could someone please help me out? Any information would be so appreicated as this is really difficult for me...and I would like to understand more, so it would be easier to let go. I don't want there to be any bad feelings and it's like he's clinging on to something to have his last bit of control or power. What is going on? I don't even know him anymore and it breaks my heart. I really would like to be his friend, but I don't see how it could happen. I think he is secretly hurting and would never let me know it. Maybe somewhere down the line we will be close again. Maybe someday we could reconcile. I don't think he knows what he wants and he thinks dismissing me from his life will make it better....when I think I was the only person that was with him through everything and tried to help. I guess the issue is with him. I wish he wouldn't blame me for being unhappy. I am so confused.

posted October 08, 2008 03:37 PM         

transiting Uranus .. conjunct Descendant / opposite Ascendant
april 2008 .. sept 2008 ... feb 2009 ..

posted October 08, 2008 03:54 PM         

i.e. ~lovely lioness~ .. do you remember how it felt ??
now he's dealing with the same ..

maybe spare a thought to how that Saturn transit might effect his mindset as well ..

posted October 08, 2008 04:02 PM         

he was born a week before the guy i was just with for about a month, and i had a similar issue. he was super into me until i was super into him, and then he'd pull away, etc. he'd also say very contradictory things and i wouldn't get a straight answer out of him. i really think saturn has a lot to do with it right now; it's a big growth spurt and bringing up a lot of issues to be faced, but that are resisted..

i have no real advice, but i'm so sorry for your pain and sad heart. i think geminis are often afraid of commitment, or real in-depth emotional intimacy, though his chiron/venus/mars stellium in the taurus in the 8th makes me think he craves a deep healing and intimacy through his sexuality and physical closeness. maybe these two parts of him are at odds with one another? another thing is the NN-saturn conjunction. i think this indicates a need for isolation. i have this too (born a few months before). it's kind of like the default; being alone to find one's direction. saturn transiting there could be forcing him into introspection at this time. i think if you can be patient, maybe you can get some clearer answers from him once he's worked this stuff out for himself.

posted October 08, 2008 04:56 PM         

Build that picture up to include the other energies swirling about, he has Sun CNJ Mercury Square Saturn, and your Mercury is at the Saturn end. Natally he has Moon Square Saturn. Expressing his emotional feelings is never going to be easy and particularly not in this relationship. This must be frustrating for you as you get his Saturn sitting on your communication outlet.

posted October 08, 2008 05:16 PM         

quote:

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i think geminis are often afraid of commitment, or real in-depth emotional intimacy

---

Sometimes we find ourselves with someone who does not really want in-depth emotional intimacy or commitment with us. It may be painful but it happens all the time between people from all turns of the zodiac wheel.

posted October 08, 2008 05:27 PM         

It's like my soul is in shock. I can't even begin to explain how it feels. I'm in such a fragile state--I never would have thought this would happen! I just hope I am not completely unimportant to him...I don't see how it could happen, but you never know. I guess it doesn't help thar Mercury is retrograde either......

heart cakes, very interesting about the taurus stellinum. it's absolutely TRUE!...would I feel it more than the Gem because I have the Moon placement? or is it equally felt??

posted October 08, 2008 05:35 PM         

Let me start off by saying I think that your synastry with this man is quite strong..I love all his gemini to your Leo sun-so complimentary! And, his taurus venus and mars, to your mars in scorpio creates a lot of attraction. There's just the right balance of free flowing energies and harder aspects for it to have the potential of sugar and spice.
I can't help but finding so many similarities in your relationship to the relationship I had with a gemini man who's placements are very similar. My gemini has sun and venus in gemini with moon and mars in taurus. And I am and scorpio sun and venus with mars in Sag. So, kinda similar to your mix of Fire (leo) and water (mars in Scorpio) So we both are scorpio types influenced with fire, especially in the placements that show the type of man we are looking for and are attracted to.
I had the same back and forth, up and down, yes and no with my gemini as well. He would be stuck to me like glue when we were together, complimenting every part of me..from my nailpolish color to my jeans..to specific body parts etc... The attraction was strong. Then I wouldnt hear from him... Then I would hear from him everyday..we would talk for hours on the phone and he would need to hear my voice before he went to bed. He would tell me that he likes to be single and thats the way he wants to keep it, then he would say that he wants to find a new apartment and maybe we could think of moving in together. Talk about gemini double personality!
When his bestfriend was rude to me, he totally told his friend off in front of a room full of people-standing up for his woman! Then, the next time he would be totally rude, treating me like a piece of meat in front of them. I waited and waited for 2 1/2 years for this man to finally make a decision on whether we were going to be together for real-officially..It never happened. He went back and forth about how he felt and would avoid me, then be mad and question me about other men, if I didnt answer my phone at any point.
And, I'm a patient woman (scorpio fixed) like I'm sure you are with your fixed fire and fixed water..but at a certain point I came to the realization that there's being patient..and then there's being a fool and letting go of other possible opportunities waiting on one man who can't seem to make up his mind. Being a scorp with tons of sag, I feel I am quickly becoming an expert on those taurus/gemini men who are my total opposites..The taurus in them (venus influence) feels pulled towards the love and partnership while taking their precious time and I mean precious at making any sort of step forward especially for big decisions of the heart. And then the gemini in them (mercury influence) overthinks everything..and is basically afraid to make any sort of long term commitment because of their mutable energy. So you have a bull who wants to take his time to make the decision and HATES to be pushed into anything, and the gemini who keeps changing his mind. It is a inner battle between head and heart.
Long story short, I have starting seeing someone else now. Where this relationship is going I don't know, but I finally closed the door after 2 1/2 years to my twin/bull. I told him that I'm not waiting around for him forever..and that I've already been more than patient enough, and I told him that we should no longer be in contact with eachother (its very hard for me to be in touch with him because I know we could be so good together). It's like the saying goes..either poop or get off the pot..but don't string me a long, getting my hopes up when the reality of it is that he is scared.
My best advice is to be completely open and honest with him about how you feel and what you want..If you get the honest response you were looking for (but probably not with all his gemini beating around the bush), then great..if not, cut it off..don't do like I did and spend so much time waiting for something to happen..its quite frustrating and painful. And for a fire sign like you with mars in scorp, you're so passionate and easily hurt by those you care about..just like me.
I hope this has helped you..I felt so compelled to reply because I really do feel a personal connection to your story as its so similar to mine. I hope yours has a happier ending. And who knows, maybe with me cutting off all ties with my gemini and finally meaning it this time, will push him to the realization that he really does want to be with me, I just don't know if the timing and circumstances will be right for me, if and when he does.

posted October 08, 2008 06:50 PM         

just a note regarding what BM wrote ..
** Natally he has Moon Square Saturn. Expressing his emotional feelings is never going to be easy and particularly not in this relationship. **
given he has Sun/Moon .. and Mercury .. in an Air element sign ..
if you've not seen this .. maybe take a look ..
~ http://www.happydragon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/jkbx/air.elmnt.html ~

and re your chart .. via the synastry graphic ..
transiting Saturn seems to be conjunct your Ascendant / opposite your Descendant ..
so on that level he's dealing with an Uranian influence .. and yourself .. a Saturnian influence ..
( and in time .. not too far off .. he will experience t.Saturn to his Asc/Dsc )
'n bear in mind his Moon be at a 'square' to your Asc/Dsc axis by the looks of it ..

posted October 09, 2008 12:15 PM         

I don't want bad vibes. I am being civil. I LOVE HIM. why would I want to end it badly for no reason other than he is immature and hurt and doesn't know how to cope with his own emotion? I think he is angry at himself and directing it at me. I would like to be friends eventually, but he's going to have to prove that he wants my friendship and he isn't just saying it to be "nice." Is there even a chance we could be friends? I honestly think he is battling with his logic and his deep feelings and right now his feelings aren't winning.

I think that he will realize what he did and maybe, just maybe he'll contact me down the road and we can start rebuilding that friendship. But now it just feels like he couldn't care less if I was around or not (even if deep down I know it's not true.)
Sorry for going on and on! I really love that you shared your story with me, it's nice to know someone knows what it feels like. I still have hope that he'll come around.

Happy Dragon, I loves that article! It sounds exactly like me GEM!!!! And that part about then being most fullfilled with a water person makes so much sense! It made me think of me, lol. I am very feeling and passionate with my Leo Sun/Cancer Venus and Scorp Mars. And it so interesting to me how my Gem could be sooo sensitive and want that closeness and depth of feeling...but than end up pushing it away when thats the thing he needs and wants the most. *sigh* It makes me depressed.

posted October 10, 2008 03:20 PM         

My birth info is the same as his:

Rising: Virgo
Sun: Gem
Moon: Gem
Mercury:Gem
Venus: Taurus
Mars: Taurus

Very, very similar! The only difference is I was born at 11:50 am, he at 2:23 pm, but we are still both Virgo risings.

If you ask many of the men i've dated, I'm sure their stories will sound very similar to yours. I'm not proud of the fact that I hit and run like this, but it's a pattern that is becoming more and more apparent.

I was with my first boyfriend for 7 years. Then one day, I just felt like I didn't want to be with him anymore, I felt caged, and wanted freedom, even though he let me do whatever I wanted. I still loved him, but I could not stay in the relationship any longer.

Not to blame my astrology aspects for my horrible pattern in relationships, but the Venus opposition Uranus makes it very hard for me to balance my need for closeness and relationships with my need for freedom. Your boyfriend has the same aspect. This signifies a very unpredictable, changeable attitude towards love. We can be close to a person one minute, then suddenly want to break free.

In my experience, people with venus in hard aspect to Uranus have a very hard time being stable and staying in a relationship for long periods of time...until they learn to balance their need for freedom, with their need for closeness. I have not mastered this art yet.

I'm sorry for what you are going through. it's never easy being the one being left. Believe me, I know. I do believe he still loves you. His venus wants to be with you, but it is conflicting with his uranus that needs freedom right now, especially during his saturn return.

Please have the strength to let him go, and do what he needs to do. Try to move on, as we should never wait around for any man.

posted October 11, 2008 02:21 PM         

I am a fool.

Maybe he just wants to forget I ever existed and move on. I sure would like to do that right now. Too bad they don't have memory erasing drugs.

Maybe our relationship will be repaired someday, but it's going to take so much time to rebuild the trust that was broken. And maybe I'm not even worth it to .him.
Is the relationship even worth saving?

posted October 12, 2008 01:58 PM         

I asked when I could get the rest of my stuff (because if I don't take charge nothing happens)--and he said the 25th or 26th!!! Thats in 2 weeks! I told him that was ridiculous and he said if I needed my stuff that bad he'd leave it outside on the porch...if he did that someone could steal something. I almost started to cry because I couldn't believe he was being so cold. Why is he so angry?? This was his choice, not mine so why is he making it more difficult and painful??!

posted October 13, 2008 12:53 PM         

I asked him if he loves me and wants to be my friend why is he being so cold??

He said he would call me tonight so we could talk....I don't know. A part of me is scared to death. I don't know what to believe or what I'm going to say. I wish I understood why this whole break up seems wrong. But now that i've gone through all this maybe the relationship could never be repaired.