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Author Topic:   Another One Bites the Dust
Unmoved
Knowflake

Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted October 22, 2008 10:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Another friendship's about to die. My Sun and Venus in 11th can't bear it.

I had a "crush" on this guy when I was 13 or something ridiculous like that. We didn't know each other until recently. Now we talk... He's married, has a kid, he's got a nice career. We are a boring pair who touch base once in a while.

We were playing a game online when the tone went a bit 8th house for my preference. I started it, I think, but he's so Saturn. It seemed like he would associate "breasts" with chicken because unlike me, he doesn't get bombarded by sexual undertones or bathroom humour when hearing the words "pee-can-nut-pie".

So, I stopped our game. I wasn't appalled or judgmental. He's married and our "connection" was at a nice level. I'm a party-pooper I know. I would do it again too but, it's not fun.

Sigh.

The bottom line is: I think I over reacted but I couldn't risk the the alternative. I can't say if he was treating me cheaply, or if he read the wrong que from me or whether it was spontaneous. .
I'll will post some placements relative to each other's charts in the next post. Please be patient because I'm not posting a chart or giving in birth data. I'll type out everything though, hence my request for your patience. Thank you.

I chastised him. He said I ended the game as he was getting into it. I felt stupid afterwards. Then I got angry. Then I felt embarrassed and guilty. I felt bad.

I can't remember details but he apologised and saying that he enjoyed talking to me. All I remember is that he said "Please". and I was touched.


We went quiet, or I didn't respond to him. I changed our routine by going quiet and he soon followed suit. Then he randomly mailed me three letters (alphabets) "BOO". I replied with (???) and I left it at that. Nature would make me shrug it off, do like Johny Walker and keep walking...

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wheelsofcheese
Knowflake

Posts: 1472
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2008

posted October 22, 2008 10:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheelsofcheese     Edit/Delete Message
I had this happen with a Scorpio and I had to tell him off. He and I were with other people and were friends for a long time. It came out of the blue. Is he a Scorpio?

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PeaceAngel
Knowflake

Posts: 6678
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 10:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message
Unmoved

How would you have felt if it were a female friend making similar type comments? That would be my measure as to intentions. I think it's hard for men and women to be just friends without one being curious at least at some stage. But friendship is just friendship, despite sex or any other detail.

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sunshine_lion
Knowflake

Posts: 919
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 10:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunshine_lion     Edit/Delete Message
I think you did a healthy thing. Set perimiters. He will be staying inside the lines now I'll betcha. All of us like to test the waters...and you are a very attractive woman. you will be back playing your game with your friend in no time.

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sunshine_lion
Knowflake

Posts: 919
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 22, 2008 10:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunshine_lion     Edit/Delete Message
after all he does have testosterone. sometimes the word breast is all it takes. They never outgrow it. Kinda like fart jokes. a 45 year old man will still laugh at fart jokes, stare at your breasts instead of your eyes, not hear a word you are saying.... and still think it is all pretty funny. it is really not his fault. I think he will (try to) behave now.

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 3823
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted October 22, 2008 10:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
we are talking about crossing lines through sexual inuendo right?

Why is it that women worry or feel bad when we say stop?
we're not wrong here.
there should be no guilt
(about hurting their feelings)

I definately hear you on the "not fun" part.
and No you didn't over react.

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PeaceAngel
Knowflake

Posts: 6678
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 22, 2008 10:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PeaceAngel     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
after all he does have testosterone. sometimes the word breast is all it takes. They never outgrow it. Kinda like fart jokes. a 45 year old man will still laugh at fart jokes, stare at your breasts instead of your eyes, not hear a word you are saying.... and still think it is all pretty funny. it is really not his fault. I think he will (try to) behave now.

LOL - fart jokes ARE funny! The not hearing thing is inherent in all men - i'm convinced - they all suffer from selective hearing. I think after a while it's like the Peanuts cartoon - we talk and all they hear is "wah, wah, wah". Not all men stare at your breasts instead of your eyes. However, a good remedy for that is to stare at their crotch. It unsettles them somewhat. Tis very very true - and highly effective. Not to mention hilarious.

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Unmoved
Knowflake

Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted October 22, 2008 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
My data: 13.09.1982, 08:10am, Durban, South Africa.

Him-

9o Cap Sun in 4th rules 12th
22o Sag Moo in 3rd rules 11th
26o Cap Mer in 4th rules 1st+10th
28o Sco Ven in 3rd rules
2nd+ 9th
17o Gem Mar in 9th rules 8th
15o Ari Jup in 7th rules 4th
1o Leo Sat in 11th rules 5th
6o Sco Ura in 2nd rules 6th
12o Sag Nep in 3rd rules 7th
11o Lib Plu in 1st rules 3rd

20o Scorp NN in 2nd
23o Aries Chiron in 8th
24o Virgo MC
24o Gem AC

Sorry about all of this. I didn't ask for permission to share his chart.

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Unmoved
Knowflake

Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted October 22, 2008 10:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Oh. I just read your comments.

Those who said that I shouldn't feel bad are right. I shouldn't. I wonder how he managed that? I'm sensitive and all but guilt is not common.

Let me post the house overlays. Before I reply properly.

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Lara
Knowflake

Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006

posted October 22, 2008 11:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
Im sorry unmoved. That's rough.

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Unmoved
Knowflake

Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted October 22, 2008 11:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
SUN
His: in my 3rd
Mine: in his 12th

MOON
His: in my 2nd
Mine: in his 10th

MERCURY
His: in my 4th
Mine: in his 1st

VENUS
His: in my 1st
Mine: in his 12th

MARS
His: in my 8th
Mine: in his 3rd

JUPITER
His: in my 6th
Mine: in his 2nd

AC
His: in my 12th
Mine: in his 2nd

DC
His: in my 6th
Mine: in his 8th

I did personal planets on this post. No asteroids.

That's why I thought that house overlays and rulers would probably show something.

I'm quite concerned about how we activated the other's 12th house. What makes it suck is because it personal planets and major angles in there. Now, I'm not good at this at all. That's why I wanted to ask what you guys see.

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Unmoved
Knowflake

Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted October 22, 2008 12:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
deux- He has Venus in Scorpio. Don't get me wrong. I don't think he's a creep. I'm just sad. I'm a friend hoarding type. If we never recover, that's one less contact I have. This means a friend fix-up door closes.

What I did was not horrible. He knows. I know that he's a good guy. I think there's still something if the whole think is still charged. It's like being watched. That's the feeling I want to get rid of. He identifies a lot with his ego.

PA- If one of my girl friends did that, I'd think it's a prank. I have 2 female gay friends. They are attracted to women but they aren't opportunistic when it comes to intimacy. Yeah. I can't and don't want to take anything back.

sunshine_lion- Thank you. I wish I didn't have to set boundaries but I had to. What could I have done? What frustrates me is that there were other ways of being a flirt without crossing a line. He could have gone 5th house if 3rd was too much BUT noooo. He went 8TH?! lol. I was just idealistic and naive. And, I'm sure he can have any woman he wants. Being married doesn't decrease your chances these days.


PA. Crotch. Lol. I remember when that word was just a word, until Lindsay Lohan was called a fire-crotch by her ex billionaire boyfriend. She's a redhead.

Lara- it totally sucks. I just hope the whole thing blows over. I think it means more to me because it's part of a pattern. If setting boundaries wasn't a theme in my life, it would've been better.

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Unmoved
Knowflake

Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007

posted October 22, 2008 01:21 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Does anyone know how to interpret personal planets in the 12 house?

The 12th house is becoming fascinating to me.

e.g. My sun is in his 12th and his Asc is my 12th. Does this mean that him and I are secretive or does it mean I'm a secret?

Of course, it could have nothing to do with secrets. I hope we aren't in the process of becoming secret enemies. I have plenty alreay.

12th House is filled with losses and deception is a prominent theme too. The only way the 12 house works for you is if you're into the occult.

I kind of like the Vedic definitions. They don't beat about the bush.

e.g. 12th HOUSE is the house of:

misery and misfortune
sorrow and sin
disgrace and insults
involvement in Scandals.
restraint and limitation and

It's the house of the left ear, left eye and feet.

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