Posts: 616
From: New York, New York
Registered: Oct 2005

posted October 25, 2008 03:18 AM         

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The Cancer boy (who I ironically am not dating but still "serious" about...) and I recently had a conversation about commitment and the different stages of thought we go through before a person says, "Ok- we're in a relationship."

I often catch myself going straight from "Ok - we can be new friends" to "Ok - I'd marry you and have children with you". I never think in terms of just casual dating. Of course, that hasn't stopped me from the infrequent one night stand but I blame tUranus conjunct nMars on that, lol. And more often than not... I'm not actually thinking at that moment. If I were to think first, I would most certainly not get myself involved in a situation where I would be emotionally involved and eventually crushed.

Anyways, I even do that with male friends I don't even want to date. For example, I have a Virgo friend and I've often thought to myself what it would be like to be married and have kids and make love and fight and what have you. I never think, "Hmm... if we went out on a date, would he bring me flowers?"

So do any other Cancer women do this? Think about marriage and having children and buying a house with a white picket fence and an adopted dog/cat/fish and a fully stocked kitchen complete with the latest in indoor grilling equipment and a 6 seater hot tub in the backyard filled with tons of grass but no pool because you're afraid the kids will drown but sure they can have a playground as long as they get inside before dinner and greet their father at the door.

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Posts: 1561
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted October 25, 2008 03:40 AM         

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yeah, i'm a fourth house moon. i get you!!

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Posts: 616
From: New York, New York
Registered: Oct 2005

posted October 25, 2008 04:26 AM         

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You know... I've actually gotten a reputation for being a heart breaker because of this... I get myself involved long enough in the dating process so I can get to know them on an intimate level (not physically, emotionally and mentally I mean), but I almost always decide that it can't go any further because I simply can't envision myself with them for the long term. This usually happens around the 3rd date, that time where things are casual but can become serious at any second. If you're a guy that wants a serious relationship but I can't see us together, I cut ya off and say goodbye before you can try to convince me otherwise.

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Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005

posted October 25, 2008 04:44 AM         

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Hello fellow cancerian women in LL!!
Actually, its real funny...because I have never dreamt of getting married my whole life. When I was young, my best friend (she is a Scorpio sun, Cappie moon) would always discuss with me how she wanted her wedding to be, where it would be, how many ppl, etc etc. When it was time for me to discuss my "dream wedding", I drew a blank. To be honest with you, and this is probably because marriage in the US has such a bad rep; but the thought of marriage terrifies the sh*t out of me. Don't get me wrong, I have definitely thought about making that commitment with the person I am with now. But the whole white picket fence thing? I haven't looked forward to the day that I can settle down in a house forever...until the day you die. Perhaps something is wrong with me? I have a 5th house moon in Scorpio. My Pisces man has a 4th house moon, which is why I think settling down/building a home is much more important to him than it is to me. We've talked about marriage before and what our expectations was of it growing up and he was the kind of person that wanted to grow up and have a family and he wouldn't feel complete without a family of his own. I grew up thinking I would be single and childless all my life and I was perfectly fine with that.

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Posts: 1561
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted October 25, 2008 04:51 AM         

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hey moon pixie!

wow, that gave me a whole new perspective on some of my past relationships and recent bouts with unrequited crushedry. it's like my emotional channel is constantly aware of the long-term potential, the familial potential, with any guy, at any time a question of intimacy arises. in the past i used to be so idealistic and ridiculously naive to the point that i'd assume things were just gonna progress that way and i'd do my best to make it a reality, get things going that way. but after several knocks on the head, the last few years i've never felt interested in anything romotely casual. oops i gotta go.

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Posts: 1024
From:
Registered: Feb 2006

posted October 25, 2008 06:24 AM         

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I have thought of spending my life with someone/getting married, but I was never one to dream about my wedding, the wedding dress etc etc. Even the thought of staying with the same person for the rest of my life is somewhat intimidating. Too big of a responsibility for me at the moment.
Marriage is something that is not happening anytime soon lol but it will.. eventually/hopefully.

White picket fence and a pet? Not for this Cancerian lady.

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Posts: 44
From:
Registered: Sep 2008

posted October 25, 2008 07:39 AM         

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cancer sun
cancer moon

never wanted wedding, children

casual things usually bad idea

relationship ok

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Posts: 91
From: Chiangmai Thailand
Registered: Feb 2008

posted October 25, 2008 09:05 AM         

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Cancer Sun & Asc
Moon in 4th

think I blew my first 2 relationships ( 16 and 7 years long) by not focusing on building a home, seriously!

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Posts: 4700
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006

posted October 25, 2008 11:21 AM         

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I actually have an aversion to all these 'ideas' of dream weddings and then being a wife and mother. Everyone has theirs while I just draw a blank when someone asks me mine. I once joked out loud (big mistake) that I'd rather get eloped...and my Old World style mom shot me a death glare.

But on the other hand, I would like to think I might spend the rest of my life with one person...just not in the scripted, cheesy, 'white-picket-fence' way.

Cancer sun
Virgo moon
Gemini venus
Cap Asc.

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Posts: 239
From:
Registered: Mar 2008

posted October 25, 2008 11:29 AM         

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I think that with cancers it's pretty simple...
You know the song "Love & Marriage" well, if I could borrow the lyrics and change it I'd write

"Cancer & marriage go together like a horse and carriage" :P

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Posts: 866
From: Richmond, VA USA
Registered: Dec 2007

posted October 25, 2008 12:31 PM         

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I think about it but I have no Cancer placements (though my progressed ASC is in Cancer). I also skip over the dating part. I never really date people I couldn't see myself marrying (what's the point?).

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Posts: 187
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted October 25, 2008 12:36 PM         

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I do this all the time and I have no Cancer placements

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Posts: 1561
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted October 25, 2008 04:18 PM         

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sorry, had to put my daughter back to sleep!

well i'm not into the picket fences thing; i prefer the living on a small farm fantasy.. ahhh.

but really, like amowls says, what's the point dating someone i couldn't see myself marrying? i'm pretty lucky cuz the guy i've been getting to know again, an old flame, has a bunch of fourth house action too (three planets including sun) and a cancer NN. i feel he's the same. it's just that sweet cancerian energy that feels like one giant cuddle! it's great.

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