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Author
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Topic: Calling all EXPERTS!!
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seveneieghtorange
Knowflake Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted November 08, 2008 09:36 PM
 
Hello all chart experts!!!
I am having a little problem...I have an extremely hard time making friends. I know this sounds ridiculous, because this is usually a problem for people who are in high school and I am way past that.
Can anyone see in my chart ANYTHING that would make others repel me? Of course I have friends, old friends that I grew up with and I treasure them a lot. I like to be social and meet new people but for some reason, 98% of the time, women and I don't click! I am very funny, have a great personality, and loyal to the ones I love. In fact, I have been screwed over so many times by so-called women friends, but that doesn't deter me from trying to make friends with them. In the jobs that I have had, women have always been so catty towards me, and they will never include me in anything. It has been such a problem that I am beginning to think there is something extremely wrong with me, maybe I am putting myself out there in a very wrong way. Can anyone please give some advice?? Thank You!
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Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 1193
From: on a chair beside a window
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted November 09, 2008 08:16 PM
Your chart shows a strong personality with sun and mars in the first house so people will have a strong reaction to you.
I too have sun and pluto in the first house and am always conscious of how I might come across as intimidating. What then happens is because I'm being cautious and wanting to fit in I seem to come accross as fake to some, aggressive to others or to serious. I'm not quite sure myself.
Anyway the reason that I'm saying this to you is because I see that in your chart. With your strong sun and mars in the first you shine (although possibly take the limelight more than others like) This seems to be something you are aware of and within social and friendship circles close yourslef off, dull yourself down and tone yourself down so as not to outshine anyone (especially friends). This is seen in Saturn in your 5th house opposing Venus in your 11th. You become shy and awkward in some circumstances which leas to misunderstnding.
Any advice I can give you I should take myself.
Let your confident self shine, don't inhibit yourself, don't try to adapt yourpersonality to whoever is around you, be consistent, know who you are and be proud of yourself. With your sunopposing Neptune misunderstandings can occur when others mistake you for someone you are not. Be sure who you are and express it freely. That way there will be no doubt.I hope this helps in some way. IP: Logged |
seveneieghtorange
Knowflake Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted November 13, 2008 07:25 PM
Quinnie,
Yes that helped a lot! Question for you...since you also have a sun in the 1st, do you notice that no matter how much you hide, you just always get noticed? I ask because I get real shy sometimes and even if I'm not as outgoing as I would like to be, I still get noticed, and sometimes not for the best reasons. I do get to have an aggressive personality and whenever that goes through, people just don't know how to react...which is how I've learned to just keep it to myself most of the time. IP: Logged |
Kick It
Knowflake Posts: 1032
From: Leeds
Registered: May 2008
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posted November 13, 2008 07:46 PM
Oh right, Gemini riser. Can see why they dont like you now :P
I can be funny too. Maybe I will be someday.Mars on the 11th can show competitive friends and all other manner of descriptions related to Aries. Maybe Male friends would be a good option. 4th house is work mates and that house is ruled by Virgo, your ASC by Gemini, so likely a key area for you in this life.
Mercury square 2nd and 6th rulers, Moon and Pluto.
1st and 2nd in square can show low self esteem. Probably not helped/caused by having bitchy "friends" Positive....Next two years or so Pluto will sextile itself which is great for finding a better job or moving up within your current one. That might not help with co-workers  Are you Man or Woman? Women can be bitches at times, especially with Women. Unless you are doing something really bad to annoy people, it is likely that these people dont appreciate someone better than them in whatever way, just take it as a compliment. How about a couple of days ago? Meet with any friends? Also, look to when Mars returned in Cancer...maybe you met a friend then. It would be an indication of someone good.
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Iqhunk
Knowflake Posts: 2269
From: Chennai
Registered: Oct 2005
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posted November 14, 2008 03:42 AM
The 11th House rules friendly and social relationships. Retro Saturn opposes the genuine ruler of the 11th House, which is Venus. Perceived lack of friends hence has a Karmic Reason.
Your True Node here is squared precisely by a retrograde Jupiter.
You have the difficult challenge of developing meaningful friendships to attain self-actualization. Additionally, there is too much Water in your chart, this can send very strong vibes to other women. If there is too much competence or potential in your Aura, this can put off many women who may have chosen to remain mediocre in life.
To convert this into your advantage, you need to demonstrate genuine empathy. What would you be doing if you have a dozen women friends? Can you try doing that now? This might help remove the blocks. ------------------
http://www.tamsoft.co.in/articles.html IP: Logged |
Seeing Stars 7.21
Knowflake Posts: 1301
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted November 14, 2008 03:50 AM
I tend to have problems with males. its an ego thing when you constantly clash with the same sex. and not neccesarily yours. you just radiate something they cant accept regardless of how you really are. lets just say those other women are jealous of you.IP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 1193
From: on a chair beside a window
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted November 14, 2008 11:10 AM
errorIP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 1193
From: on a chair beside a window
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted November 14, 2008 11:21 AM
Seveneightorange.
Yes I find exactly that. I'll be underdressed or overdressed or the odd one out or just say something out of line or speak in a different accent and bingo! everyone notices... or so it seems. Sometimes I go crazy thinking what did I do that time? Was I too loud, too friendly, not enough etc. If you hear that voice in your head just know that you are talking yourself into doing those things because if you think about them you will eventually do them. (Am on the right wavelength?)Just know that other people don't really care that much about the details and it doesn't really matter. Be the confident you that you are, love yourself for it and others will automaticlly do the same.Everyone has insecurities so it's not all your fault you know. Maybe some people aren't friendship material for you.You have a few commumication aspects in your chart mercury square Pluto and Moon that indicate you get too emotionally involved to quick perhaps but again Moon, Pluto and Saturn in your 5th house ius saying to be express yourself emotionally and learn how others respond in a healthy interactions. Your north node and Venus in Taurua 11th house indicates this is a learning process for you. So let it teach you.
Kick it with her Moon square Mercury do you think that that adds to her difficulty? Her words and actions at odds with each other? and then Pluto adding to that can heighten it?
Iq how could seorange resolve this karma? IP: Logged |
seveneieghtorange
Knowflake Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted November 14, 2008 12:10 PM
I am a female...sorry, I didn't get to point that out. I dont really usually post such a personal topic, but I felt real confused and thought maybe something in my horoscope was causing this and what could I do to prevent it. Also, I was born between 500-530 AM so there is a slight chance that I am a Cancer rising....which would add up to me being real shy when meeting people at first.Iqhunk -- I always thought that perhaps me having a real hard time forming meaningful friendships with women had something to do with karma! I have a close group of girl friends that I have known since I was 9 years old and we all went to school together until we were in high school. We are all closer than ever. I moved out of my home country in the middle of high school though so i had to start from the beginning when I came here in the US. I had a good group of girl friends in high school here yet none of my friendships with stayed except for one, and we became extremely close yet under weird and strange circumstances, she had to move back to HER home country of Turkey. I have not seen her since 2004, have not talked to her since 2006.
Also, and I dont know if this shows in my chart...but all my good friends do NOT live near me at all. They are all spread out in the US and two in Canada. I used to be close to a former high school friend but she screwed me over so bad repeatedly that I refuse to even acknowledge her whenever she tries to apologize to me now. She is a Taurus, if that helps in pointing out anything.
To answer your question: What would I be doing if I had a dozen women friends?...Well, I like to socialize. And I have always hated doing things alone (i.e.: shopping, errands, etc) but over the years of being "friendless", I have been virtually alone in doing these activities. I like to be surrounded by people and I like to idea of having connection to the outside world. I always think perhaps, maybe the women I am trying to be-friend or work with are jealous of me, but for what??
As for be-friending males, it much much easier for me, but there is also a major disadvantage with that because they always seem to think I am interested in them sexually and that is not the case. I separate this totally: for example, I couldn't be good friends with someone I was very attracted to because I would want to act on it. And me wanting to spend time with my guy friends make them think I want to go on some date when that is far from the truth.
Quinnie, could you explain to me about my moom squaring my mercury plus the influence of Pluto? IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 3274
From: London
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted November 14, 2008 12:24 PM
oh gosh Seven, I always fall out with people  I managed to fall out with both my parents, both my sisters and so l am pretty much my own family these days. I have no idea what part of my chart does this though - but l feel for you because it really hurts and sucks big time when you make a new friend and then you have a problem! Women are bitchy with me too and always try to pick fights with me for some reason. I hope you find the answer x IP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 1193
From: on a chair beside a window
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted November 14, 2008 12:28 PM
It could have a few possibilities. One that you were raised in a culture that expresses itself differently from how youcommunicate. So if you say were brought up a Christian and live in a Hindu area for example you could be easily misunderstood or out of touch with how you feel. Perhaps your school etc. believed girls should be refined and and restrained when you have passionate feelings (for another example). I know I could explain this easier!
You communicate differently from how you feel. So if you feel angry you might find yourself saying I don't mind, I'm fine and this gives the worng message to people who either take what you say literally or see from your body language that it doesn't match up to your words and then back off thinking they have either offended you or you are not being genuine.
Does this apply at all? Don't be afraid to say no it doesn'tIP: Logged |
Iqhunk
Knowflake Posts: 2269
From: Chennai
Registered: Oct 2005
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posted November 14, 2008 12:40 PM
<<Iq how could seorange resolve this karma?>>As per her Sabian Symbol of the true node and of Venus, she must gift some of her time to be a resolver of conflicts between other women or even between couples. As per the greatest speech of all time "Acres of Diamonds", what we are looking for is always found nearest to us. Her future friends are right around the corner, maybe someone who would be eternally grateful just for an hour or ntwo of surprise babysitting. Sometimes a supreme friendship is to be found isnpite of a generation gap, this was in a movie where Kate Winslet befriends an 80+ Oscar winning writer, and more friends and even a happy relationship follows.
The answers will come the moment she resolves to meditate on her chart and take action. ------------------
http://www.tamsoft.co.in/articles.html IP: Logged |
haybelly
Knowflake Posts: 230
From: The bigrock candy mountains
Registered: Jul 2008
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posted November 14, 2008 12:57 PM
hmmm I have no friends either, though I hate people..... maybe that has something to do with it.The older you get the harder it is to make new friends for some reason,I think we don't trust people as much and build walls. Plus, in this day and age it is hard to find time for friends, let alone family. I think I have 5 planets in my 11th house and I still have no friends. Women are always intimidated by me and men always want to sleep with me, I personally would rather spend time with my horses than humans. IP: Logged |
seveneieghtorange
Knowflake Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted November 14, 2008 01:18 PM
Quinnie,
Yes i do get to be that way, re: I'm fine but I am seething with anger inside. I try to be diplomatic with people but I've always been outspoken, although not so much in public because I dont want to be seen as "difficult" or "b!itchy".
Also, i was raised very prim and proper, I went to an all-girls Catholic school, to be ladylike at all times, no showing of emotions in public so moving here in the US was a complete culture shock. All the kids in school were very rude, had no respect for elders (in my school, all teachers were respected and we wouldn't dare call them by their first names, they had to have a title: i.e: Ms or Mr or Professor, etc) and showed a lot of skin. I wore uniforms before I came here in the US so it took awhile to realize that wearing shorts was okay (lol). Now I guess I am more "Americanized", but at the same time I still have my differences.
Lara
-- I also fall out with my family as well. My mother's sister's family in Phoenix (where I reside now), I am not at close to them. In fact, my old Taurus friend that I now hate is actually in a relationship with my cousin, and because of this some things happen that I felt my cousin being family and all would defend me, but I think he even enabled her to be able to screw me over. I have never seen them as family to begin with, but over the years I had gotten real close with my guy cousin and for him to choose her instead of me when things were going down left a real bad taste in my mouth. Because I always thought blood is thicker than water? But I guess not for them. They are the only branch of my mom's siblings that I dont regard as family, I get along with everyone else, mainly because I did not grow up with the Phoenix-based side of my mom's entire clan.
Also, yes, women try to pick fights with me also!! I used to work in a clothing boutique and all the women there spread rumors about me and talked behind my back. The woman manager especially seemed to hate my guts. They all got me fired! IP: Logged |
Kick It
Knowflake Posts: 1032
From: Leeds
Registered: May 2008
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posted November 14, 2008 02:26 PM
I hope youre not Cancer rising because that is a time waster right there and Im now starting to not like you. Maybe its just you  IP: Logged |
seveneieghtorange
Knowflake Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted November 17, 2008 11:57 PM
Just wanna thank everyone that commented back and wanted to help!!
Kick It, you have a very strange sense of humour. I do appreciate what you've inputted though. Thank you IP: Logged |
blue moon
Moderator Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted November 18, 2008 04:25 AM
No, I don't think it is all you, some people bring out our best, some people bring out our worst. If you are seen as a threat, this is going to put you in a situation where you bring out the more combatative side of your character. And I am thinking particularly of that wide Sun Rising which can come across as arrogant on a bad day. Also the Mars first house as has been discussed. If you are put on the defensive of course you are going to bring out some of the Martial qualities strong in your personality. IP: Logged |
triplecancer
Knowflake Posts: 148
From:
Registered: Jul 2006
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posted November 18, 2008 07:52 PM
Seveneightorange,
I think it's probably the venus in the 11th opposite saturn in 5th (maybe you're underestimating your self worth to make friends). You like to socialize because of the venus in that house. Maybe you have a different vibe so you have to meet people who are similar to you. I also have a lot of water in my chart and I've had a hard time making and keeping friends. You're still young and what I can tell you from my experience is that as I got older I made friends more easily. But I think that has to do with the fact that as you get older you get to know yourself more and choose better. I now have a nice group of friends, but it took me a long time to find them because the others before them just had a different vibe and we were from like different planets. Till this day though I sometimes feel "left out" in some circumstances. I also have venus in the 11th (so I'm sociable) opp. neptune in 5th, so I tend to idealize friends and sometimes have expectations they can't live up to.
Anyway, I think that you will probably with time be able to find people similar to you and make friends. IP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 1193
From: on a chair beside a window
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted November 19, 2008 04:50 AM
triplecancer!I go with that. I read my posts back and just want to make sure that you know the fault does not lie with you. People all have insecurities and they come out thgough their interactions, but when you have the sun and mars(or pluto) in the first house those reactions can seem bigger whether they are or not is relative. It is how you deal with it that makes it a successful interaction for you.
That said it can be difficult for anyone to make friends. Alot of people are defensive because of this and when they find friends they hang on for dear life and cast others out for fear of someone taking their friend away. But we are not all like that and especially as triplecancer said I think the afore mentioned is a sign of immaturity.
Love yourself for who you are. You will make friends eventually.
Don't overanalyse why you haven't yet though.
Most of us only ever really have a few true friends and maybe alot of acquaintances.
Your Saturn/Venus opposition doesn't help, but your sun/mars is great for attracting people (despite all the negative things I've said about it). Good luck
and remember there are always friends or advice/conversation at Lindaland. IP: Logged |
seveneieghtorange
Knowflake Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted November 19, 2008 04:37 PM
Thanks for all the advice guys! Quinnie, I didnt find anything negative in what you said. I know you really feel me when it comes to the whole sun-mars too-much-aggression personality issue that I have because you have the same.
I really wanted to know what was keeping me from making friends, and all you guys pointed out about my Venus being in 11th but opposing Saturn. I get this now...kind of like, I REALLY and almost, ache to be as sociable as some people - go up and talk to anyone, bla bla bla - but I have a fear of being rejected, a fear of sounding stupid, and I get real insecure of myself. All under 5 seconds...which is why even with my strong sun-mars, that damn saturn in the 5th overrides it most of the time when it comes to social situations.
I know I am still young...and I will find good friends (in addition to the ones I have now) in the future. To be honest, I can be so painfully shy that sometimes I wonder if could go to a hypnotherapist and hypnotize me into being totally ougoing!IP: Logged |
Quinnie
Knowflake Posts: 1193
From: on a chair beside a window
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted November 20, 2008 04:43 AM
Your Sun and Moon in Cancer is quite introverted but you will shine after your first Saturn return. Until then it's a getting to know yourself phase, embrace it.
UNtil then why don't you practice some self hypnosis http://www.wikihow.com/Perform-Self-Hypnosis http://www.selfhypnosis.com/
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seveneieghtorange
Knowflake Posts: 410
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted November 23, 2008 01:58 AM
Thanks for the links!!!
BTW, I am a scorpio moon, not a cancer moon. IP: Logged |
missneptune
Knowflake Posts: 241
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Feb 2006
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posted November 23, 2008 05:06 AM
I have the same problem, I still don't understand why some people can effortlessly makes friends while people like me only have one or two close friends, I guess quality verses quantity is what matters. Either way I'm frustrated, and feel lonely almost everyday! ------------------
Sun - Leo
Moon - Pisces
Ascendant - Sagittarius IP: Logged |
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