posted November 14, 2008 11:18 AM         

What is it with Leo's where they seem to have to feel like they are winning all the time?

This guy im seeing loves to play games and it seems to be his way of controlling me.

When he gets like this do l just totally ignore him, dont phone or do anything because that's when he feels like he is winning?

or do l feed his ego so he wins over and over. I'm not fussed, l just wonder if he has a deep need to be pampered of something.

If l ignore it and don't let him win, will l ultimately win or lose his affection?

I hate games

posted November 14, 2008 11:21 AM           

Why don`t you confront him and just ask him what it`s all about. What does he need? What does he want?
Why is he playing "these games"?

posted November 14, 2008 11:33 AM         

So this is my point... do Leo men behave like this to gain admiration or not?

If so, then l can turn it into healthy admiration; if not, then l can starve him of it without him getting more hurt.

posted November 14, 2008 12:27 PM           

who's zooming who?

posted November 14, 2008 01:08 PM         

Listen, Leos are 5th house people--that's the house of creativity, children, true love, romance (notice: a totally different thing than the Libran 7th house of marriage) and FUN. Leos like games a lot, but fun, mutual games. Your Leo does not seriously want to get hurt OR want you to get hurt. He does not want to vanquish you or, by winning, make you a loser. He just wants to feel like you two have enjoyed some fun foreplay and that you have NOTICED that he's the most gorgeous, sexy, brilliant, irresistible beastie on the planet.

There are a few solutions here:
1) Tell the Leo you don't like games. Seriously, we are not like Scorpios where we play secret games to the death, putting our partner through a battery of treacherous tests before we open up. If you tell us which specific games you hate and don't want to play, we'll either stop, or we'll honestly tell you why we're so attached to the game.

Most likely, your Leo will happily switch to a fun activity you like better.

2) Play along. Now, Leos have plenty of admirers and accolytes, but they don't allure us and turn us on as much as people who are a little hard-to-get. BUT people who are TOO hard to get crush us and we never recover, and we eventually give up on them even if they have admitted they secretly love us or whatever. Leos love the chase, but also the catch. Imagine playing with a kitten--if you hand it yarn, it won't chase it or be interested at all. But if you pull the yarn too far away, it gives up easily. Keep yourself just tantalizingly out of reach.

The way to achieve this is to (drumroll) not play games!! Be completely honest with the Leo. When you're thinking about him, call him. Don't ignore him just to manipulate him or fawn over him just to placate him...act from your natural feelings and he will ADORE you. And then it will matter to him very deeply how you feel about him (as it doesn't with our groupies.) Many of us like having a few groupies, although we usually outgrow it, but we fall in love with people whose attention to us is genuine and heartfelt and who also have their own full lives.

posted November 14, 2008 02:33 PM         

He seems to enjoy winding me up!!!!!!

and l really get disappointed when someone disrespects me or enjoys making fun of me.

I love that song hahahahaha !!!!!!!

posted November 15, 2008 12:36 AM           

Here's what my last LEO-boyfriend once told me about this topic, he said: "Yes, I admit, sometimes I'm playing some tricks on you and am a little mean with that, maybe ... But it's only because I want to FEEL you more, Darling."

By admitting this and since we had talked about that annoying stuff, I thought he would leave it one day or at least: diminish it. But ... he couldn't.

LARA, if you get such an impression from your current Leo-lover .. I'd avise you to "run". Really. What I did, after having been annoyed and "played with" so often: I just didn't react anymore, just ignored his silent, silly and stupid screams for moremoremore attention. The effect: He got even more aggressive... It was unbearable, from a certain point onwards.

posted November 15, 2008 12:47 AM           

I guess you can get a clue from what kind of Leo you're with by listening closely to how he speaks about other people. If he's a person who can let others shine as well - if he speaks postively about other people from time to time - then this is alright, I guess.

My last Leo wasn't able to do so. He really said bad things about others. And after a while, when his jeaolusy concerning me (his girlfriend) increased he really made himself ridiculous without seeing it ...

For instance: Once we watched TV, and there was a friend of mine being interviewed in a news-talkshow. I said: "Wow, this is a friend of mine, how funny that he's in the TV now!" My always-jealous and self-insecure Leo replied: "So what, I also do know poeple who have been at the TV before..." He really seemed angry! Then he left the room and smoked a cigarette on the balcony to come down ... This was an episode at the start of our relationship - and I wasn't sure how serious I should take this episode ... I rated it as "cute", first. Just like: "Gosh, he is so insecure, that gorgeous man - I love him even more now!"

But unfortunately ... it showed the core of his personality. He just wants to "win" all the time and can never, never stand a second of being put in "2nd row" or something - even if NO ONE is wishing him anything bad! He just saw himself as "the center of the Universe" ... and more and more seemed like a toddler's mind in the body of a slightly overweight man at the age around 40 ... Finally: unlovabl for me. Because he was a fighter - not a lover! A fighter for his own EGO, nothing else.

Once we were out at a bar, and some woman came up, she nodded to him and looked quite sad. He nodded back to her, then whispered to me, his actual girlfriend then: "Woah, look at HER! I used to have a short affair with her - but she wanted much more, that stupid thing. See how she looks after she had cut her hair... so UGLY!"

Again ... that made me feel quite uncomfortable ... BUT: I was freshly in love ... so I accepted this ... and was so stupid to feel "proud" that I-I-I was the woman he REALLY loved ... STUPID! I really feel ashamed today, that I indeed was in LOVE with such a ... swine.

Again: If you get the slightest hint on SUCH a Leo-trait ... FORGET HIM! Someone who talks bad about other people will talk badly about you too, one day. Yes - there ARE negative Leos around. (Most of them are gorgeous, though;-))

posted November 15, 2008 02:07 AM           

Once he brought a book from a shop, took off the packaging of that book and threw it into the dustbin, before my eyes, and he said: "look, I've bought that besteseller today, I am so curious to read it." About two weeks later we were walking on the street, crossed a bookshop, and they had exactly this book displayed all over. I said: "Look, that book! Maybe I can borrow it from you, one day, if it is so brilliant." He then said: "No, I won't be able to borrow it to you - because I borrowed it myself from Miss X (who is sooo after me.)"

That was a plain lie (once more) - because I was a witness when he had just bought it an d had taken it out of the book store's plastic bag and took off the packing ... he obviously had forgotten this fact, that I was THERE when he bought it. So ... he really told all those stupid lies to make himself feel "more important" or "more dangerous" ... and he always did that by trying to make me feel insecure ("OMG! This MIss X in his life...!") It was just ... crazy from a certain point onwards.

I had NEVER been playing games with him. The opposite is true: I explained him, in clear words, that I would not join in to his attempts to "play games", that this is futile, and he should stop that and just relax and not try to hurt me or make me jealous anymore ...

THAT'S when I decided NOT to give any attention to these attempts of his anymore.

What would have been the alternative: Always reacting like a dull wife: "Oooooh - this nasty Miss X again!" While, at the same time, I knew it was just one of these stupid stories he made up...?

posted November 15, 2008 02:35 AM         

Like Lucia, I think this might be common when the Leo person is young, but definitely not later in life.

Most Leo men I know are very respectful and they don't lie, but they all seem to be at points in their life where they're really happy. I think it depends on where the Leo guy is at and how he feels about himself and his life in general.

quote:

---

"Look, that book! Maybe I can borrow it from you, one day, if it is so brilliant." He then said: "No, I won't be able to borrow it to you - because I borrowed it myself from Miss X (who is sooo after me.)"

---

That's insane. You should've confronted him.

I think I'd say: wow Miss X? That's interesting because my ex is back in town and he was just telling me about one of his friends.. by the same name. What's her surname?

Whatever he'd respond, I'd say: WOW that's her! My ex knows her.. Isn't that amazing? – Small world! We should all double date tomorrow night, what do you say?

*pause for his reaction* then..

posted November 15, 2008 02:57 PM         

I find myself being less playful with him due to feeling like i'm walking on eggshells.

posted November 15, 2008 05:06 PM           

from my experience, I really go with what you've written above:

quote:

---

if they don't feel admired enough they get sore heads and that doesn't encourage playful-type games, but roars and groans........

---

As I mentioned already: I had two long lasting relationships with Leos before, in fact, Leo is the sign I am always falling in love with, haha - and I adore them and am quite playful myself (fiery Moon, P.o. Fortune and Juno in 5th house and all).

BUT: If the Leo-nine principle (principle of expecting 100% attention/adoration) is perverted, overdone or even borders into mental illness ...;-) - it is one of the worst traits you can find in a person! SUCH a Leo can suck out all your energy. That's all I wanted to say.

Again: Normally I like Leos! And normally ... they won't leave you in doubt about how they feel for you and don't like you to feel bad! They like playing games - but friendly ones. This goes out to LARA again: If that Leo constantly makes you feel uncomfortable or more self-insecure than you normally feel when in love ... Be careful. I guess, normally, Leo makes the other person feel good - this is one of the nicest traits Leos have - to even spoil the other person, sometimes! But if he gives you the opposite feeling too often ... he might be a "negative Leo" as sketched in my posts above.

posted November 16, 2008 06:52 PM         

The weird thing is that my ex boyfriend was a Leo and he was the same in the sense that he never showed his feelings and l always felt like he was testing me.

It turned out that he was emotionally ruined due to his ex having died on him

So l think maybe it's more of an emotional "OMG I really like this person but i can't risk rejection" or something.
This guy is a good guy... maybe his only way of hiding how he feels is by playing games, just like really funny people are also really insecure!

posted November 16, 2008 07:10 PM         

He will act like of removed, distant, un-engaging and it has all started since l couldn't meet up with him cos l had a date.

It's like it hurt him somehow or something!