posted December 16, 2008 10:52 AM         

March 12, 1964
8:23 pm
born pittsburgh pa

him
July 2, 1974
7:30am
hundred west virginia

posted December 16, 2008 11:44 AM         

progressed venus is conj natal sun, that is why it feels like the love of your life; pr. uranus trine natal venus, i bet you fell in love pretty quickly?

progressed chiron on natal mars (R7)

transiting Uranus on natal Sun (sudden changes)

transiting Chiron on Pholus (intense pain over the loss)

transiting Juno on natal asteroid humptydumpty (the asteroid of break-ups)break-up with your parter

transiting humptydumpty conjunct asteroid karma (i think it was meant to happen)

pluto on ceres (deeply affected by loss and separation, nurturance was withheld or denied)

venus conj NN on vesta (you are deeply committed and are capable of great sacrifice for the sake of your partner)

seems quite a painful thing you are going through

his chart:

tr. Uranus conj natal Juno (sudden, unexpected change in a relationship)

tr Pallas on Venus (i am not sure about Pallas, they say shows your approach to solving problems, or represents the denial of one's own gender in an effort to cope with situations that require the skills of the opposite gender in order to survive, as well as the struggle to rediscover and reconnect with essential qualities of one's own sex)

tr Jupiter will soon conj DSC (has he decided just to walk away and find someone else?)

progressed Pallas on DSC (hmm, dunno)

progressed Moon conj Ceres suqare Juno (pain of separation, devastation by the loss of partner)

hmm i dont know what was the reason of your break up, maybe he decided he needed complete freedom to pursue his creative expression or something like that?

Anyway it is clear, this relationship is more about your transformation and change and it is karmic too so you need to think what this experience/situation can teach you about yourself, your self-love and self-acceptance....sorry i did not mean to get you in for a lecture but this is what helped me to get through intense pain when i lost someone i loved deeply...

posted December 16, 2008 12:44 PM         

the first moment i met him i said,,,i feel like i am suppose to meet you and he said I feel the same,,like there is more to this than just a regular relationship

posted December 16, 2008 01:18 PM         

I`m so sorry for you.

But I second what Peri said, please be strong.
I know it just sounds like silly superficial crap, if I tell you that even the dark times will end, but it`s true. Really, they do.

I have been in such a dark place myself, long ago, and I thought this pain would never end, but eventually it did. An it will for you, too.

Peri,

it`s interesting I never heard of Humptydumpty before. Why does that asteroid symbolize breakup?

However, I looked it up and when I experienced my deepest and worst loss (in love) up to now, progressed HumptyDumpty on 10°09`48 Sagittarius was conjunct my True Node on 10°09`48 Sagittarius.
It was exact to the last SECOND!
So, I guess this heartbreak was important for my lifepath, and of course it was (in retrospective).

posted December 16, 2008 01:48 PM         

quote:

---

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
And all the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

---

it think it describes its influence pretty accurately

posted December 16, 2008 02:53 PM         

I was having the same symptoms as you do.
I felt like I was dead; actually I felt as if I was dying every ******* day again. And then I felt that numb feeling inside. Muffled. Like dead.

And I also had these "heart-aches", my heart racing so fast that I thought it would literally break my chest.

And I`ve also felt like I was in a "fever-storm";I can`t really explain it. I was simply feverish and numb. At the same time.

It was a very hard time, and I cried so much that I thought it would suffice for my whole life.
I have cried after that, sure, but no other tears ever felt that bitter.
And I also have felt emotional pain after that, but not like that, not like an endless abyss of black nothing.

Okay, I think that might not be very helpful. Sorry.
But what I want to say is that one can get through it, survive it, and in my case, it was a necessary step of my growth. Without that experience, as tormenting it was, I wouldn`t be the woman I am today. And I feel I am on the right path, but I could only get here, once I had gone through all of this.

What I want to say is that in my case it was no mistake, no joke of the universe that I fell in love with that man. It was not wrong. It was meant to be, me falling so head over heels in love.
But it also was meant to bring me the experience of anguish. I consider him my greatest spiritual or even emotional teacher today, as it was through him, that I experienced such extreme emotions.

I hope you can see a sense and meaning in it all for your life, too. Maybe not today, but one day hopefully.
And even if you come back together with him again, you will have changed. You won`t be the person you were before this break up. But that is okay, you`re still you.

posted December 16, 2008 08:16 PM         

St John's Wort tea helps with depression, give it a try, it's better than most things psychiatrists prescribe.