posted December 20, 2008 06:30 PM         

Me being a watery person with strong Scorpionic features, usually my gut-level-instincts are some tool that helped me through all my life. I really can trust these - usually! But in my last relationship (lasted a year, ended extremely hurtful) something strange happened: There was constant suspicion (on both sides) - and it confused me a lot. I didn't know whom or what to believe anymore, and it weakened me a lot. Finally it was the basic/subtle reason for the break-up, I believe today.

In retrospect I cannot tell for sure whom was projecting what on whom. From my Ex-BF's chart I can tell that there are some manipulative/controlling tendencies in his personality (for instance: He has his Pluto-Uranus-cj in his 12th, cj. his ASC, his Sun, also in 12th, and his Mercury squaring his Neptune). Still - I wanted to believe him so hard and always thought I found some explanation/excuse for his numeral "white lies". Also: His own suspicions and (unjustified) jeaolusy was also obvious, constantly. Finally we failed. This constant suspicion killed our love.

We had a marvelous Synastry! For instance: His Venus sext. my Sun, ASC, Mars and Neptune, my NN cj. his Vertex and so on - all kinds of "karmic love"-factors involved. (haha!)

But in order to study this topic further, for now I'll post all the Synastry-contacts that might give a hint on the "suspicion"-factor, that killed it all. I will post POTENTIAL SUSPICION-FACTORS IN OUR SYNASTRY only (planets, Midpoints, asteroids)

Please, add your experience with that, especially ScorpioCentaur - your input would, of course!, be very welcome! Together, we could gather some data dealing with "incurable mistrust" in relationships...

Healthy suspicion - or crazy paranoia?

HIS chart compared to HERS

HIS SUN & MERCURY
- cj. her BM Lilith
- cj. her Sun/Pluto
- sextile her draco Pluto
- sextile her Sun/Saturn
- sextile her Mars/Saturn
- sextile her Venus/Chiron
- sextile her Neptune/MC
- trine her Chaos
- trine her Chiron/Juno
- squaring her DSC
- squaring her Psyche
- squaring her Saturn
- squaring her Neptune
- squaring her Leviathan
- squaring her ASC/Neptune
- squaring her Saturn/Psyche
- opposite her Part of Discord
- opposite her Saturn/ASC
- opposite her Saturn/Neptune

HIS MOON
- cj. her Chaos
- cj. her Part of Swindle
- cj. her Chiron/Juno
- cj. her Chiron/Ceres
- sextile her Stereoskopia ("ability to see through falsehood")
- sextile her part of Corruptness
- sextile her Damocles
- sextile her Sun/Saturn
- sextile her Venus/Chiron
- square her Medea
- square her Fanatica
- square her Sisyphus
- square her Uranus/Juno
- square her Sappho
- square her Sado
- square her Saturn/Pluto
- opposite her Poseidon
- opposite her draco BM Lilith
- opposite her Venus/Neptune

HIS VENUS
- cj. her Pluto
- cj. her Lacrimosa
- cj. her Mars/Neptune
- sextile her Mars
- sextile her Neptune
- sextile her Fantasia
- sextile her Part of Disappointment
- sextile her Saturn/Uranus
- trine her Drakonia
- square her Part of Deep Reflection
- square her Storm
- square her Clinch
- square her Lucifer
- opposite her Veritas

HIS MARS
- cj. her Utopia
- sextile her Mars/Pluto
- trine her Part of Discord
- trine her Part of Deep Reflection
- trine her Storm
- trine her Clinch
- trine her Lucifer
- trine her Saturn/ASC
- trine her Saturn/Neptune
- square her Mars
- square her Drakonia
- square her Fantasia
- square her Part of Disappointment
- square her Saturn/Uranus

HIS JUPITER
- sextile her Sun/Pluto
- trine her Part of Discord
- trine her Saturn/ASC
- trine her Saturn/Neptune
- square her Pluto
- square her Fate
- square her Veritas
- square her Sphinx
- square her Lacrimosa
- square her Sun/Neptune

HIS SATURN
- cj. her Munchhausen ("lies")
- cj. her Saturn/Eros
- sextile her Saturn/Juno
- sextile her Neptune/Node
- trine her Pinocchio
- trine her Foolhardiness
- trine her Fanatica
- trine her Proserpina
- trine her Melancholia
- trine her Venus/Saturn
- trine her Pluto/Juno
- square her Stereoskopia ("ability to see through falsehood")
- square her Great Attractor
- square her Saturn/Vertex
- square her Pluto/Node
- opposite her Sturm ("storm")
- opposite her Venus/Pluto

HIS URANUS & PLUTO
- cj. her Sturm ("storm")
- cj. her Venus/Pluto
- sextile her Pinocchio
- sextile her Foolhardiness
- sextile her Fanatica
- sextile her Proserpina
- sextile her Melancholia
- sextile her Venus/Saturn
- sextile her Pluto/Juno
- trine her Saturn/Juno
- trine her Neptune/Node
- square her Stereoskopia ("ability to see through falsehood")
- square her Great Attractor
- square her Saturn/Vertex
- square her Pluto/Node
- opposite her Munchhausen ("lies")
- opposite her Saturn/Eros

HIS NEPTUNE
- cj. her Pinocchio
- cj. her Leviathan
- cj. her Proserpina
- cj. her Melancholia
- sextile her Medea
- sextile her Sturm ("storm")
- sextile her Venus/Pluto
- sextile her Neptune/Node
- trine her Munchhausen ("lies")
- trine her Sphinx
- trine her Fanatica
- trine her Sisyphus
- trine her Venus/Saturn
- trine her Saturn/Eros
- trine her Uranus/Juno
- trine her Pluto/Juno
- square her Part of Corruptness
- square her Damocles
- opposite her Saturn
- opposite her Hades
- opposite her Anteros
- opposite her Sirene

HIS CHIRON
- cj. her Sphinx
- cj. her Munchhausen ("lies")
- cj. her Chiron/Node
- sextile her Saturn
- sextile her Hades
- sextile her Anteros
- sextile her Sirene
- sextile her Medea
- sextile her Saturn/Psyche
- trine her Sun
- trine her Sappho
- trine her Sado
- trine her Leviathan
- trine her Saturn/Pluto
- trine her Uranus/Juno
- square her Stereoskopia ("ability to see through falsehood")
- square her Sun/Saturn
- square her Venus/Chiron
- square her Mars/Saturn
- opposite her MC
- opposite her Fate
- opposite her Sun/Neptune

HER chart compared to HIS

HER SUN
- cj. his Ophelia
- cj. his Prudentia
- cj. his Tantalus
- cj. his Part of Increase
- sextile his Arachne ("the seed of discord")
- sextile his Nemesis
- sextile his Clinch
- sextile his Caution
- sextile his Veritas
- sextile his Venus/Uranus
- sextile his Venus/Pluto
- trine his Neptune
- trine his Chiron
- trine his Eros
- trine his Foolhardiness
- trine his Saturn/Chiron
- trine his Saturn/Eros
- trine his Pluto/Juno
- square his Toro
- square his Desdemona
- square his Part of Deep Reflection
- square his Part of Security
- square his Venus/Neptune
- square his Saturn/Vertex
- square his Saturn/Psyche
- square his Saturn/Node
- opposite his Part of Faith

HER MOON
- cj. his Fantasia
- cj. his Storm
- cj. his draco Vertex
- cj. his draco Medea
- cj. his draco Lust
- cj. his Venus/Chiron
- cj. his Neptune/Juno
- sextile his Toro
- sextile his Part of Deep Reflection
- sextile his Venus/Neptune
- sextile his Saturn/Juno
- trine his Kummer ("sorrow")
- trine his Sphinx
- trine his Sisyphus
- trine his Achilles
- trine his Saturn/Vertex
- trine his Saturn/Psyche
- trine his Saturn/Node
- square his Chiron
- square his Eros
- square his Part of Foolhardiness
- square his Arachne ("seed of discord")
- square his Nemesis
- square his Venus/Uranus
- square his Venus/Pluto
- opposite his Sado
- opposite his Sun/Moon

HER MERCURY
- cj. his Kassandra
- sextile his Atlantis
- sextile his Fascination
- sextile his Lacrimosa
- sextile his Part of Bigotry
- sextile his Part of Catastrophe
- sextile his Sun/Saturn
- sextile his Sun/Neptune
- sextile his Mercury/Saturn
- sextile his Mercury/Neptune
- sextile his Mars/Pluto
- trine his Spiegel ("mirror")
- trine his Moon/Saturn
- trine his Moon/Chiron
- square his Admetos
- square his Part of Danger
- square his Part of Illness/Accidents
- square his Part of Corruptness
- square his draco own Name-asteroid
- square his Mars/Neptune
- opposite his Juno
- opposite his BM Lilith

HER VENUS
- cj. his James Bond
- cj. his Daedalus ("jealousy")
- cj. his Part of Disappointment
- cj. his Sun/Pluto
- cj. his Mercury/Pluto
- sextile his Mimosa ("touchyness")
- sextile his Lucifer
- sextile his Vulcanus
- sextile his Part of Corruptness
- sextile his draco own Name-asteroid
- sextile his Mars/Neptune
- trine his Icarus
- trine his Part of Danger
- trine his Part of Illness/Accidents
- trine his draco Saturn
- trine his Mars/Saturn
- square his Atlantis
- square his Sun/Saturn
- square his Sun/Chiron
- square his Mercury/Saturn
- square his Mercury/Chiron
- opposite his Vertex

HER MARS
- cj. his Part of Deceit
- cj. his Melancholia
- sextile his Don Quixote
- sextile his Proserpina
- sextile his Drakonia
- sextile his Pavlov ("automatic reactions")
- trine his Utopia
- trine his Veritas
- trine his Pluto/Juno
- square his Mars
- square his Storm
- square his Ehrlich ("honesty")
- square his Drakonia
- square his Neptune/Juno

HER JUPITER
- cj. his Part of Deep Reflection
- cj. his Ehrlich ("Honesty")
- sextile his Storm
- sextile his Fantasia
- sextile his Part of Disappointment
- sextile his Neptune/Node
- trine his Medea
- trine his Sado
- trine his Chiron/Juno
- square his Part of Deceit
- square his Melancholia
- opposite his Admetos
- opposite his Saturn/Psyche
- opposite his Saturn/Node

HER SATURN
- cj. his Part of Curiosity
- cj. his Unruh ("nervousness")
- cj. his Part of Discord
- cj. his Clinch
- cj. his Part of Caution
- sextile his Chiron
- sextile his Eros
- sextile his Prudentia
- sextile his Ophelia
- sextile his Tantalus
- sextile his Part of Foolhardiness
- sextile his Part of Increase
- trine his ASC
- trine his Arachne ("seed of discord")
- trine his Part of Enemies
- trine his Nemesis
- trine his Venus/Uranus
- trine his Venus/Pluto
- trine his Neptune/Chiron
- square his Sun
- square his Mercury
- square his Pholus
- square his Toro
- square his Kummer ("sorrow")
- square his Sphinx
- square his Sisyphus
- square his Achilles
- square his Venus/Neptune
- opposite his Neptune
- opposite his Part of Sensitivity

HER URANUS
- cj. his Fascination
- cj. his Lacrimosa
- cj. his Part of Bigotry
- cj. his Part of Catastrophe
- cj. his Sun/Neptune
- cj. his Mercury/Neptune
- cj. his Mars/Pluto
- sextile his Kassandra
- trine his Juno
- trine his BM Lilith
- trine his Atlantis
- trine his Sun/Chiron
- trine his Mercury/Chiron
- square his Lucifer
- square his Mimosa ("touchyness")
- square his Victoria
- square his draco Pluto
- square his Moon/Venus
- opposite Spiegel ("mirror")
- opposite Moon/Saturn
- opposite Moon/Chiron
- square his draco Saturn
- square his Mars/Saturn

HER NEPTUNE
- cj. his Utopia
- cj. her Name-asteroid in his chart
- cj. his Pluto/Juno
- sextile his Don Quixote
- sextile his Pavlov ("automatic reaction")
- sextile his Drakonia
- sextile his Proserpina
- trine his Deceit
- trine his Melancholia
- square his Medea
- square his James Bond
- square his Part of Disappointment
- square his Saturn/Juno
- square his Neptune/Node
- square his Chiron/Juno
- opposite his Veritas

HER PLUTO
- cj. his Venus
- cj. his Don Quixote
- cj. his Pavlov ("automatic reaction")
- cj. his Drakonia
- cj. his Proserpina
- sextile his Juno
- sextile his BM Lilith
- sextile his Damocles
- sextile her Name-asteroid in his chart
- sextile his Deceit
- sextile his Melancholia
- sextile his Pluto/Juno
- trine his Veritas
- trine his Part of Treachery
- trine his part of Mental Captivity
- square his Fantasia
- square his Storm
- square his Sado
- square his Leviathan
- square his Icarus
- square his draco Vertex
- square his draco Lust
- square his draco Chiron
- square his draco Eros
- square his Venus/Saturn
- square his Neptune/Juno

HER CHIRON
- cj. his Fate
- cj. his Munchhausen ("lies")
- cj. his Saturn/Amor
- sextile his NN
- sextile his Sun/Chiron
- sextile his Mercury/Chiron
- trine his Pinocchio
- trine his Sturm ("storm")
- trine his Atropos
- square his Lucifer
- square his Mimosa ("touchyness")
- square his Modestia
- square his draco ASC
- square his Moon/Venus
- opposite his Stur ("stubbornness")
- ooposite his Part of Addicition
- opposite his Part of Bigotry
- opposite his Part of Catastrophe
- opposite his Harmonia
- opposite his Mars/Pluto

If you just read down the columns and get a glimpse on how often points as "Swindle", "Veritas", "Deceit" and "Treachery" come into play ... you might get an explanation.

After having studied this, I am buffled! Almost 8 months after this relationship has ended, I suddenly "see" something: I guess that guy is (or has been) a notorious cheater (he even alluded this as his 'nasty past' once in a talk we had). I now believe: He was serious with me - and WANTED to start a new kind of relationship with me and to stop his egomanic ("Sado", "Toro") cheating behaviour, once and for all. BUT: While we were apart, it was a long distance relationship, and even before I managed to move to him completely (we had advanced plans for this) ... something happened ... probably he cheated on me with an one-night-stand or something. And this ... destroyed anything. He knew about my strong principles - he knew that it was him who destroyed it - and neither did he manage to tell me openly what has happened ... nor was he able to behave as if "nothing" has happened. I believe that he was disappointed by himself so much ... that all that made him lose faith in "our thing". And finally... he wasn't able to talk about that anymore. And just ... dumped all of it and let it drop.

Fact is: We haven't spoken for over 7 months now - I don't want no contact anymore, I am busy with other things and people now. But ... I've got a website ... and he comes there almost every single day ... for over 8 months ... just watching, silently, from afar, what goes on in my life... (I can tell for sure that this is him, because he's got a fixed IP-address from his company, and I can see that on my website's visitor counter.)