posted April 12, 2008 04:22 PM         

First of all, I have a mixed interest in astrology, since for one, my mother is a certified astrologer. In the past few months I have taken a deeper interest in learning a bit more about astrology. But since I am teaching myself alone, at times I feel like I’m just lost in all these information and can’t tell if my judgment is rational or if I’m reading into something too much. And also, it both helps and distracts me that I do have some random knowledge from my mother. It just feels like I can get no solid grasp of it altogether.

The reason I am posting is so that perhaps someone may be interested in doing an interpretation, and I can compare it with what I have understood with my poor knowledge. And that way I can have a step forward to have a better grasp in astrology in general, by having another person’s more advanced and detached perspective. If anyone is so kind and have the time for that! (but I also understand if you don’t!)

Well, so this is what.

My major concern at the time is my life. I’ve been sort of country-hopping throughout Asia, US, and now Europe all through my life, especially in the last 12 years. And as much as I enjoy traveling, not having a “base” is gradually wearing me out. I need security, home, love, root and stability in life. Yet now another event is pulling me back to my birth country where I never felt home since I was a little child, and again tearing me away from a career perspective and romance. This has been the pattern of my life. After a couple of decades+ of struggling to identify myself with the birth country, I have finally come to a conclusion that, just like people who have gender identity disorder, I was probably born in a wrong country by some mistake, however that’s explainable for us to understand…

In short, I feel like I am burdened by some external force and it’s preventing me from setting roots the way I prefer. I’m sure there is some fault in my own attitude as well (I’m happy-go-lucky by nature so I neglect making efforts unless I’m utterly forced to), but I would like to gain a constructive perspective so I can effectively make something work out of this limbo…

Another minor concern that’s puzzling me is… a boy! I was sexually involved with him half a year ago with some conflicting factors (other people involved). We stopped that, but I have some clinging feelings for him, which I think I should get rid of since it feels like a one-way thing. When I look at our synastry/composite/Davison//progressed/transit etc charts, to my inexperienced eyes I see nothing that romantically remarkable between us. We planned to get married once (not for romantic reasons, and lack of money made it not work). We seem to be more a “friends/colleagues” type. We hang out together all the time and sometimes fight like hell. We also make music together. Also we have this strange feeling, even when we were sexually intimate, that we are a brother and sister. I’m not sure how he feels about me now, but to me at least he has had a huge impact on my life philosophy. Despite I see some conflicting aspects in our charts, it feels as if we have the same wavelength. I’ve never had anyone like this in my life. I want to define if it’s just a temporary feeling or something more meaningful… Sometimes I feel the urge to let him know how I feel. But I’m much too afraid to destroy our bizarre friendship.

I can give you my info personally if you are interested in looking into my case, email me at ayagirl at doramail dot com -only because the private info of the guy should not be public… But feel free to post the charts as long as the personal information is hidden. If it can be of any study example for anyone, I’m happy to share what I can! I have pretty accurate info of birth data, plus for the relationship reading even the date+time of first meeting plus when we got sexually involved.