posted April 23, 2008 11:36 PM         

Yes, I keep finding myself confused and wanting so desperatly to understand...

I met him six years ago, I was 19 and fell hard, it was like something you read about when you are a kid..you lay eyes on someone and you somehow recognize them..and you just KNOW.

He was my friend, and now he has turned into something I can't comprehend.

Everything around me tells me to move on and I am taking the steps that I can to do that, but it is still there deep inside and I am just lying if I cant admit it. The only way I can explain..it is like grieving because someone you knew before is dead, but still alive.

The thing that keeps messing with me when we had court for child support is he said that he had another baby due any day and that he was going to be with the mother and raise the child, which he confessed to me back in October when he found out that it might not be his...it just doesn't make any sense.. Nobody looks as bad as he did two weeks ago and is happy..

How could he care about one child (that he suspects isn't his) and not care about our daughter?? Why does he fight me with the most stubborn resistance I have EVER seen in a man, when I know he cared for me once?

Could someone help me understand what is going on by looking at his chart? Would there be any indication of a child in his chart or some kind of crazy transit that could explain his behavior the past 18 months? If there is anyway to explain it
Any help would be appreciated

posted April 23, 2008 11:42 PM         

01/01/1976 no birth time

And if relevant:

11/04/1982 Lake village, Arkansas Chicot county 12:30 a.m.

our daughter:

07/06/07 Union City, Tennessee 7:47 a.m.

Thank You, Phoenix

posted April 24, 2008 12:54 PM         

There are still some holes in your story. Hopefully my questions will help you clear up the story, then I'll take a look at your charts.

You both got together 6 years ago. You labelled him as "Elizabeth's father" and "my friend" but you never called him your "boyfriend," "lover" or "husband." Even in the past tense. That speaks volumes. What was his relationship to you?

What caused the break up?

Is it possible that you felt the relationship was coming to an end so you got pregnant on purpose thinking that it might keep him with you?

I ask that question because that happens soooo much more than you could ever imagine. If that's the case, it doesn't matter whether the other child is his or not, if he is in love with that other woman, then he will stay with her.

When you ask the question, "Why does he fight me with the most stubborn resistance I have EVER seen in a man, when I know he cared for me once?" What is the main dispute that he is fighting with you about?

The reason why I'm trying to get this clarity is because, what I get instinctively from your post is that somewhere along the line the relationship as you both knew it has ended, but you were pregnant. The pregnancy did not re-ignite his same feelings of love for you and you are still heartbroken over him.

Many women and/or couples make the mistake of thinking that just because they have a baby it will make them fall in love with each other again or it will help them to stay together and that is just not true. It sounds like the situation you are in.

You mention how much you love him, but you never mentioned if he loves you.

What happened to end your relationship?

Please answer these questions and I'll take a look at the charts.

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
GeocosmicValentine@Yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/GeocosmicValentine

posted April 24, 2008 10:36 PM         

I want to thank you for your disclosure of such a personal information, I know that it's not easy so I'm just going to jump in with both feet.

I looked at your chart first and you need to know, if you don't feel it already, that you are incredibly powerful. Please do not ever forget this, and part of your power is being polished by this situation. I'm not just blowing smoke at you, you were born with this, it's in your chart and it is specific to relationships and what I believe to be social justice.

Your chart suggests that you are incredibly cerebral and communicative, it is a focus of your life, on the most profound levels. You've got some deep brain power and I want to say be careful what you wish for and be careful what you say, because you can truly speak things into being, so stay as positive as you can.

When I looked at his chart, some things were difficult to see without knowing his birth time, however, it is very clear that he is afraid of love, he doesn't trust it. It's got something to do with his father. If he grew up with his father, it suggests that he was somehow afraid of his father or his father was estranged in some way, even if he was in his home while growing up.

The pattern that I see in his chart that suggests that he's afraid of love also proves, to a certain extent, that you were correct in that it wasn't all about sex for the two of you. It's as if he prefers not to have sex most of the time. And he may be telling the truth about that other woman in that love has nothing to do with it.

When I put the charts together, there is a very strong pattern that suggests that you don't see him clearly and he has a mesmerizing effect on you. It's as if you hypnotize each other with idealism, but for him it allows him to keep you confused and in a haze and it makes it extremely easy for him to deceive you. The love is or was there for him, but he's got his very own issues around love and trusting others within relationship issues. It's really not you, and you may never know the true reason.

There may come a time when he comes around and is ready to see his child, but you may find that you can never completely have him. It's good to hear that you know that you must move on with your life and really let go of trying to figure him out. Like the saying goes, "Let go and let God." The most important thing at this point is that he is being made to pay child support. If that's all that happens right now, that is major. Look in the opposite direction for love. Please don't let this experience with him jade you against love and relationships.

One other thing about his chart suggests that he can freeze his emotions and he does in order to survive or had to do it while growing up in order to survive. There is an incredibly strong control factor placed on his ability to love, to socialize, he may even come across as very cheap.

You may have just a few more months of confusion around this issue, maybe not, but when you finally let it go and move on, there are adventures in store for you. I don't know if you are a writer or if you like to travel but there are patterns coming up for you that suggest that you will actively seek to publish some writing or that you will do some long distance traveling. Possibly both.

Most importantly, you are going to get through this and find out that you are a power house and a survivor. I wish I could borrow some of the power you've got going.

But you are correct in that you did affect this man, no doubt about it, and a time is coming up in a few years where he is going to have to process all that has happened in his life up until now. There is something about his father or how his father raised him that causes him to distrust love and I don't think that his mother is much help either. But that's no longer your stuff to deal with. Your job is to focus on your beautiful little girl and raise her to be a decent human being. That's why we bring them into the world, to share the world with them and show them that they enhance this planet just by being here.

And so do you. You are highly resourceful, smart and powerful. Please write that down and put it on your refridgerator to look at everyday.

Take good care Phoenix, I know you are going to be just fine.

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine

posted April 25, 2008 12:15 AM         

Thank you!

You helped me have a better understanding, because it does make sense. I guess the thing that is hard for me to comprehend is how someone can be in love and run in the opposite direction. Love is beautiful and that is just not something I do, I recognize my emotions immediatly and I trust my heart, my intuition. I always have until I met him. He does make me very confused and I wish he did not have this power/ability over me.

I have seen the beautiful person inside and it is hard for me to let that go..our little girl is living proof...

I keep thinking of the future and how life is too short, and how looking back ..Will I regret loving him? Sometimes I feel empty because of how strong the feeling is..missing him and wanting to see him and talk.. I just don't know how to get through to him because I KNOW I could help him if he would just ask me to.

It's strange you brought up travel and writing! I am going to take my first plane ride next month to visit Florida for the first time! I am very excited. I can feel things getting better..and I have also thought about writing a story this summer since school is out and I will have time to relax and enjoy time with my children

I know I need this free time to get refocused and find that clarity, peace I need so very much to get my momentum back up.

I cannot thank you enough for your inspiring words and compassion. Taking your time to help me means a great deal to me. *HUGS*

, Phoenix

P.S. I send you a friend request on Myspace

posted April 25, 2008 12:27 AM         

You are very welcome and I want to remind you, never regret loving anyone. There are energies and experiences that occur in this world that we may never understand. When you hear people say, "You never truly know a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes." Well, the truth is, I don't think you would want to walk a mile in his shoes. Just like everyone else, he's had some extremely difficult experiences growing up and his fear serves to protect him, but sometimes we over protect ourselves, even when it is no longer necessary. He's suffered a lot of refection, even before he entered the world of romantic love, so it may be a life time struggle for him and he's the only one who can help himself. And God. Your love was not wasted on him and don't feel bad because it's difficult to let go. Letting go is a process that doesn't happen over night and it's not meant to happen over night, so take your time doing that as well.

One thing is for sure, you're little girl was meant to be here now, no matter whether her parents were ready or not. These souls don't wait for us to be ready.

Love is never a waste, if you can redirect that love toward the universe as best you can or redirect it toward your children and your friends and family. When you radiate love, the whole world and the universe benefits. God is going to help him with his path too. Just as you have spirit guides, he's got them also and at some point he'll have no choice but to open up and allow his guides to open his heart wide open.

Have a great day and congratulations on your trip and, yes, get that writing done.

Geocosmic Valentine

posted April 25, 2008 12:38 PM         

You are so very right, and you reminded me to keep my heart wide open and full of love. I have gotten better at this as time goes by, but It can be a struggle because I have been angry and revengeful earlier in my life until I had my children and I knew I couldn't carry those negative feelings around with me anymore..

You inspired hope and love in me with your words and you truly touched me, I wish I could give you a big hug! You now have a big fan and I am so happy that I met you on here.

Phoenix1111