posted May 03, 2008 08:53 PM         

How long have you felt like this?? Since last summer transiting Saturn has been traversing your 12th house, which could definitely give you a case of the blues.....
Also transiting Uranus is conjunct your Descendant and opposite your Ascendant -- the following may or may not totally apply to you:

Uranus opposition the Ascendant shows that relationships stand in the way of achieving the freedom you want. You attract people who demand their own freedom, even though it means you must curtail yours, and this annoys you. Attracted to people who are defiant of authority, you'd like to share the enthusiasm of their independence. You feel uncomfortable when anyone asks you to make a commitment, for you consider contracts and related obligations as too limiting and frustrating. Marriage in the traditional sense is not for you. You prefer a more liberal association in which the only binding agent is your emotional attraction to your partner. You enjoy a wide circle of friends who share your views and with whom you feel safe and secure.

That's from http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrological-aspects/uranus-opposition-ascendant.php

As for attracting men who are either emotionally or geographically unavailable, I seem to have the same affliction as you
I just don't seem to attract men who ARE available, and I think it's because part of me prefers my independence and is still afraid to get intimately involved after my last disastrous relationship.....

posted May 03, 2008 11:04 PM         

Sorry to hear you've been suffering.

I assure you that those sunny traits are there, waiting to come out. It is a matter of unblocking this pain you have built up in your heart.

Leo rules the heart, the heart is the shining center of the chakra system. Your problem is there, in your heart.

I pulled a couple tarot cards for you:

1.Queen of pentacles
2.Queen of cups
3.The star

The domination of court cards in this readings indicates to me that you are focused on the outer in your search for happiness. First and foremost, happiness comes from within. The queen of pentacles indicates you must learn to nurture yourself, only with self care will your block begin to fade. Another way to tap into the queens energy is to serve others. One of the easiest paths to become a happy person is to become an altruistic person. Volunteer. Caring for others is caring for yourself.

Men will not bring you happiness.

I will repeat this again

Men will not bring you happiness. You must light your own leonine fire, then the men will be drawn to your unconditional love. we see this unconditional love with the queen of cups. The queen of cups is also connected to the spiritual, have you explored spirituality?

The union of the two queens here is very powerful, together they form a strongly yin, or inward focused energy which encourages and demands connecting deeper. Your search outside has gone long enough. Now you must search inside.

Finally the star, probably the most positive card in the deck, indicates hope and inspiration, so I hope that the stars energy does find you. It is a bit blocked by the watery negative quality of the queen of cups, but I believe the star shines in any reading. I might interpret this as hope, which is always logical to have, being obscured by your strong emotions of frustration and pain.

posted May 05, 2008 12:48 PM         

Do you have two functioning hands and legs?