posted June 29, 2008 06:20 PM         

What she said frightened me a little bit. She said someone is trying to harm me through black magic/voodoo type stuff. The part that scared me is the correlation she made between some scary dreams I've had off and on during the past few years.

In these dreams, it's dark and I feel the presence of something evil or demonic... It's as though I feel this demonic presence trying to take over my body, I feel a surge of energy, almost like there's an electrical charge going through my body and sort of like a powerful wind going through me. I don't know how else to describe it. My hair is standing straight up and I almost feel like I'm being held in the air by this powerful force. In the dream, it feels very real and so my first thought is to pray in the dream, but when I open my mouth to speak, the demonic spirit won't allow the words to come out of my mouth. Sometimes I feel like I'm being strangled and once I had the feeling of my head being forced under water. I could feel the water level going down my face as they tried to force my head into a sink of water. Since I can't speak, I pray in my mind and somehow I'm able to keep them from taking over and I wake up, scared out of my mind. Too scared to go back to sleep. Once I felt like I was being raped. I could actually feel the energy forcing itself inside me. It's very creepy.

So last night she said that when I'm having those dreams it's at that point these people are doing whatever black magic they do, to hurt me. She did the cleansing ritual and left me with rosary beads to put in my pillow at night. She also left me with some oil that I'm supposed to put all over myself each night.

I remember asking if my grandma was there with us last night. She died when I was 17 and I miss her very much. She said that she was there...and she was crying over what these people are trying to do to me.

The problem I have with this whole thing, is that I don't believe in the whole heaven/hell, God Vs Devil sort of thing, so the dreams really freak me out. I do believe in God, but I think there's only one afterlife for us all. So the feeling of a demonic presence really has me confused and scared. This woman does not charge anything to do what she does and like I said, her daughter is a very close friend of mine and I can't imagine her doing anything to harm or frighten me. I'm just struggling right now with everything.

I'm asking for anyone to help me, tell me what you see...Is this really what's going on? And what can I do to protect myself?

I just bought some purple plates and I hope they can help to surround me with positive and loving energy.

This is really personal but I don't care. My need to understand what's going on is greater than my need to not be embarrassed. This seems like a very supportive and loving community so I don't feel like I have anything to lose.

Please help me.....

My birthdate is 4-9-1979. My time of birth is still questionable, I'm going to the records place tomorrow to find out for sure because my birth certificate doesn't have it on there. My mom says it was either 3:33 or 3:35 PM.

Thank you in advance for any help you can spare.

posted June 30, 2008 04:11 AM         

You are concerned about what's going on and is frighten. If they lift you in dream, let them do so. There are always demon that like to hunt people and I encountered one too, that told me stupid stuff about how knowledge hurts and so on. Obviously, I just said no, no matter what he said, and chased him off. Really, it's those that lack knowledge will fall and abuse power without notice.

There is no need of screaming, nor I care about why they do such stuff. Let things go. Think of something that is good. Like being in a bubble etc, since no one can be alone if you don't want to.

posted July 01, 2008 04:13 PM         

I've been looking at your chart all day and have written lots of notes. I can't post it all now, but I shall by the end of the day. Just so you know, there's a lot there and I'm also one who doesn't believe in someone else doing voodoo stuff. I advise you to not allow your friend's mother to ever give you a reading again. Even though she's a friend, everyone is not trustworthy as a psychic or a healer. Her reading did NOT heal you, it traumatized you more than you already are. I advise you to completely forget what she said. I'll be back later to explain.

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine

posted July 01, 2008 04:24 PM         

You said you've done my chart so I'm sure it's too late, but I found out that I was born at 3:35 PM and I was born in Sacramento CA.

I look forward to anything you may be able to tell me.

posted July 01, 2008 11:38 PM         

I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long. I work a strange schedule and now I find myself trying to put this thing together while I'm very sleepy and I want my concentration to be better. There is information I want to present here that is incredibly sensitive and it needs to be presented sensitively as well so I'd like to post it tomorrow when I'm a lot sharper, so please expect it sometime tomorrow.

Geocosmic Valentine

posted July 02, 2008 12:52 AM         

It makes me remember of something I dreamed. Someone in white said, that there is a fountain that has water that is pure and white, it goes through your heart and cleans whatever dark stuff inside and outside you, and that I should have it in my heart always. Unlike what we know about water, you can go deep into it like you are sitting in a bathtub.

My grandma (dad's mum) knew a person that is a psychic too, by the way. My mum tried to stop her, failed too XD. Anyways, I do not want her to do it either at this point, mainly because I don't need it anymore.
Take Valentine's advice, but let others do whatever they want. It's the best you can do to comfort her.

posted July 02, 2008 06:36 PM         

I figured out why I've been having a hard time posting a response to you. It's because my very first instinct is to tell you to put down all readings, even my own astrological reading right now.

The reason is that anytime I hear of someone speaking about having uncontrollable dreams or nightmares about being controlled by someone, some thing or some force, especially if it becomes so intimate as to feel like sexual assault, it really only takes a dime store psychologist to tell you that you should seriously think about seeking professional help about possible memory suppression.

It's very difficult to address the issues I see suggested in your chart without having a discussion with you like I do with regular clients but I'll do my best and I urge you to only take in what feels safe for you. If it starts to feel like total bull, I invite you to discontinue reading it. But I also ask that you confirm whatever is valid because that's how we learn here.

You mentioned that you've been having these dreams over the past few years, I'm curious as to how long that actually is and if you've been having these dreams recently. You only mentioned them as part of the recognition you had with the psychic.

When I look at your chart I see major patterns suggesting lots of suppression with you and possibly your parents as well.

The first pattern suggests that your father was unable to provide the proper authoritative love to you. There are 3 possible reasons for this, actually 4. He may have been taken out of your life early on or if he was there he was very passive or he was there and very tyrranical. Last, he might have been a combination of all three.

There is also something very hidden about your father.

The next pattern suggests suppressive issues around your mother as well and the possibilities suggested are addiction issues, codependence or religious issues as well. There may also be the feeling that your mother was very vague in some way as well, as if she vanished some how. Maybe not forever, but somehow. The addiction issues may be something you need to look out for in your life as well.

Astrologically you are currently in the middle of what's named your "Saturn Return" and it happens to everyone between the ages of 28 and 30. It is a time of a pronounced maturation process. You are officially becomming an adult. It is a time that may feel very mundane, where you're dealing with hard core realities, discipline, realizing that time doesn't stand still, you're not a child anymore, responsibilities need to be handled. Any stray business that you've allowed to let slide cannot slide anymore.

In your case with these dreams, my thought is that there are some painful things hidden in your past that need to be pulled up and healed. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but there are patterns in your chart that suggests possible sexual abuse beginning at a very early age. If it's not you, then it's possible it occured for one of your parents. This pattern coincides with a few others that suggest hiding from the world and your own isolation. I don't mean that you don't socialize at all, but I think it may be all to easy for you to isolate. More patterns about confusion with relationships may add to the desire to isolate as well.

As much as I don't agree with the way the psychic expressed what may be occurring in your life, I believe that she hit upon some energy with the keyword "hidden". But I don't think it's someone harming you remotely. Now, I'm just guessing here, but with the patterns I see in your chart - is it possible that something hidden in your past is coming up in your psyche now. It's coming up and out to be healed now. When abuse happens so early in our lives that we can only remember it with an infants logic and emotions, is it possible that we now formulate it as some outside force that's not quite understood? I'm not professing to know, but that's my line of thinking-maybe not right or wrong.

I don't know how much you know about astrology but I'm going to use some jargon to explain.

Your Sun in Aries is in the 8th house of sexuality and other's worth. The 8th house is also characteristic of wanting to isolate. Your Sun rules your 12th house of "hidden enemies" (hold that thought), chronic illness and large institutions. The 12th House is another house where people like to hide and I can confirm that as my Sun is in the 12th House. I'm hiding behind my 12th House rock waving to you behind your 8th House rock.

*edit* Your natal Pluto quindeciles Mars which rules your 8th House of sexuality. The quindecile aspect (165 degrees) is an aspect suggesting intense focus and obsession. This is what alerted me to possible sexual abuse. Pluto co-rules Aries as well. The two planets together in hard aspect can suggest extreme force, control, brutality and excessive effort. They are both sexual planets as well. There is a temper that comes along with that aspect. Very angry communication.

That is a lot of "hiding" energy focused on your Sun which is your core energy in this life. That's not the only hiding energy. Pluto is in your 2nd House of self-worth and it opposes your Sun in the 8th House of other people's worth. When Pluto makes a tense aspect to the Sun, it is tremendous pressure on the energy of your life, like you're living in a pressure cooker or a hand grenade exploding with a blanket on top of it. MORE SUPPRESSION! The good thing about Pluto-Sun aspects is that in your 2nd half of life, that blanket comes off and you realize that you are incredibly empowered. Think in terms of Prince Charles. He has Pluto square Sun in his chart and we know that his mother, The Queen, is his pressure cooker lid that doesn't yet allow him to take his destined place yet, but his marrying Camilla was part of that lid coming off.

There are other echoes of suppression for you as well. Your Neptune squares your Moon in your 1st House of identity development. Neptune suppresses, it also disolves and errodes things, it can be toxic and deceptive. Because the Moon represents the mother, it's the symbolism that lead me to believe that your mother is hidden from you in some way and is suggestive of addiction issues also. It's not all bad news, Neptune is inspirational, artistic, holistic healing, but it is also the rose colored glasses and worst of all, shame.

Getting back to the psychic, as much as I didn't like the voodoo stuff, I also understand that different psychics receive information in their own unique ways with their own unique symbols. I find it interesting that she gave you oil because oil is ruled by Neptune and Neptune is extremely strong in your chart.

There is so much more to your chart, but I wanted to address what's going on for you now. Currently transiting Saturn is at 4 degrees Virgo. It is contacting your Sun by an aspect called a Sesquiquadrate which is measured by 135 degrees. This suggests some health issues may be popping up with you, possibly digestive issues and/or sadness-depression and negative psychic energy (which you experienced with that reading). Saturn symbolized fear also. The 8th house and the 12th house are also very psychic houses, I wouldn't be surprised if you told me that you were psychic and if you are, it's probably not the best time to be reading or getting readings (even mine, though I'm doing my best to keep it positive and healing, it's not easy).

You didn't quite explain everything that's going on currently, but I suspect some depression, maybe not feeling well, and if the dreams are continuing at this point, I whole heartedly support you in seeking some counseling around it to get your issues out to be healed. There really is no reason for you to continue to suffer. I will remind you of your own words:

“This is really personal but I don't care. My need to understand what's going on is greater than my need to not be embarrassed. This seems like a very supportive and loving community so I don't feel like I have anything to lose.”

This is a lovely community but it's not always safe. I’m just as much of a new age freak as the rest of the people who frequent this site and I love it, but there comes a time when you need to be grounded about your life, your physical and mental health by putting down the magic for a while and let Saturn (earth bound reality) take you by the hand and lead you to some solid healing.

I hope I didn't miss anything and please let me know if I've hit on anything, it's hard to do this in the dark. I hope there was some order to it as well. Take your time to digest it, if it doesn't feel safe I invite you to trash it-seriously.

Good luck and blessing to you,

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine

posted July 03, 2008 04:59 PM         

I really appreciate you helping me with this!! It means a lot to me. I actually began writing you an email on myspace last night since I wanted to really explain certain things and they are private. I didn't get a chance to finish it, but I plan to tonight. In the meantime I would like to touch on a few things here so that anyone reading this will see how accurate your assessment was, in hopes that it will bring you much abundance =)

I'll start from top to bottom.

Recently I've been looking into past life regression as well as memory suppression due to some personal issues (included in my soon-to-be finished email to you). Thank you for confirming that this is a route I should think about taking.

The dreams have happened approximately 4-6 times total, they are all very similar in that they have the same exact "feel" to them and the color is the same. It's dark and gray, almost like a black and white movie, although all my other dreams are in color. The most recent was anywhere from 2-6 months ago (I have a very hard time with timeframes...must be that Aries thing that Linda speaks of in her books...I HATE the illusion of time and wish it didn't exist in this dimension) They began some years ago, possibly 5?

There is definitely repression on my mother's side, she was sexually abused at a very young age and it continued on for some years. She only remembers one incident.

My real father left when I was 3 months old and barely came around after that. I saw him very rarely as a child and still as an adult he is absent although we live in the same city. My step father has been around since I was very young, about 2-4 years old but he has never been the father I needed. More details on that in my email.

My mom does have codependence issues, as well as an addiction to sugar (sounds silly, but it's true). She has also struggled with religion as she was raised Catholic and she feels she was traumatized in a sense by the religion...she pretty much stays away from religion now, but I've been helping her get into spirituality.

When I was 12 my step dad and my mom had my little brother. She "vanished" in a sense because as she has recently admitted to me, she felt that I didn't need her anymore and the majority of her focus went to her new baby. She feels guilty now, realizing that I was still a child and needed my mother. We are close though, and I've told her she can let go of that guilt, it's not necessary.

I'm very astrologically-challeneged, at least with the jargon that is =)

But Saturn Return sounds cool! lol I do have a lot going on right now so that sounds accurate.

I do tend to stay at home (I live alone) a lot but it's mostly because I am always tired, which of course doesn't sound right since I'm an Aries...but I am always tired so I end up staying home a lot, especially on weekends (I work mon-fri).

"I'm hiding behind my 12th House rock waving to you behind your 8th House rock." LOL back to you!

I'll touch on the obsession/sexuality thing in my email, but it has some truth to it.

I also have anger issues, but I've come a long way in the past few years.

I'm sorry, I think I was wrong about the oil... It's more like a cologne or something... it has alcohol in it so it's not an oil. But I stopped using it and I've come to the conclusion that I don't have anyone after me, with your help and the help of someone else I've realized that she was probably mistaken.

I struggled with depression the majority of my life and I was VERY sad and fearful of many things. It began at about 12 and I eventually came out of it at 28 years old but it has been a very long battle... I recently went through 3 major stressors at the same time which temporarily brought the depression back, but I think I'm going to be ok soon...I'm not out of the woods yet, one of the three issues is resolved but not the other two...but I'm getting there. I was on many medications throughout my teenage and adult years and I BROKE that chain and got myself off of EVERYTHING. It was very hard and very scary but I did it and I've been medicince-free since August 2007. Oh and I've always had digestive issues as well although I'm not diagnosed with anything.

I often times feel that I just KNOW things, but these are things that I can't prove so I'm always questioning myself...so psychic? Possibly but I'm not sure yet. More info in my email on that.

The not feeling well and depression are closely related to a car accident at the end of April, one of the three stressors I mentioned above. It's been difficult but I hope to be passed it soon.

The dreams haven't happened lately..but I've been through counseling, many years off and on and I'm done. I believe I've accomplished all I can through counseling and the rest is up to me, unless I find someone who specializes in memory suppression, then I'll go back for that.

So thank you again Geocosmic Valentine!! I really appreciate everything and I'll finish that email tonight!

Bre

posted July 04, 2008 11:21 AM         

I'm glad some of the insight resonated with you. I still want to say take some of it with a grain of salt. The reason is that in some ways doing a chart interpretation like this blindly feels like swatting at a fly with a sledge hammer. I thought that you were having dreams nightly for weeks on end that felt demonic so I don't want to push you into trying to find issues that MIGHT NOT REALLY BE THERE. If you think they are, then by all means investigate, but my thought is that I have had many scary dreams over the years that could have had a similar feeling but I don't equate them with suppressed memories.

But once again, to each his own. As for seeking out astrological guidance or metaphysical guidance of any kind, I gently suggest being much more careful who you choose. For instance, I have decided that Shamanism really isn't for me, it doesn't mesh well with my energy or my philosophy yet I know many people including my best friend who is a psychic, who swear by going to a particular shaman. When I went with her I was so disappointed and didn't appreciate that the shaman literally used "smoke and mirrors" as we met in a tiny closet in his shop. Then he insisted on hugging me at the end.

This is not appropriate for me in my view of what I wanted or needed at the time. However, my judgement was not at it's best because of what I was experiencing in my life so it just ended making me angry and upset that I let him even hug me.

I know that there are people who seek out voodoo practitioners and not to cast too much judgement on it, but once again it is not for me. It's good that we all have so many choices for receiving insight, but we just have to be careful of who we allow into our private worlds physically, mentally and spiritually. It's all a learning experience anyway.

Have a Happy 4th of July!

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine