posted January 30, 2009 09:41 PM         

This is my ex of about 2 months and I am having some issues. When ever I love someone, I can't let them go. I seem to obsess over them for years, regardless of what happens in the relationship/what they do to me. This relationship was particularly weird because in the beginning I had to "force" myself to like him because he was a "nice guy", or so I thought. Then when I fell in love I couldn't get out. It was verbally explosive and I don't get it. I am very patient but he tested and pushed me to extremes. He had identical traits to that of a narcissist and they were hidden in the beginning. He lied, was selfish to extremes, but then other times would be the sweetest man alive. It was like we were so similar that we clashed if that makes sense.

Another interesting aspect is that I have never dated a man who did not have multiple addictions. Drinking, drugs, gambling . .you name it I know about it. What causes this?
I am very sad because when I love my heart and soul goes into relationships and it just takes too much out of me when it doesn't work out. This is weird because I am known to attract good hearted guys but with too much baggage.
I like to very kindly refer to this a "MOTHER THERESA SYNDROME"/"The wounded birdy act"
Any ideas to change my my patterns of relationship I would love to try

I know you guys get a lot of these. So anyone that can help, I thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

Love, Peace, and Blessings to All
Heather

posted January 30, 2009 10:31 PM         

It looks like you dont know his birth time so it makes it difficult to give an accurate reading on how he perceives the relationship.
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/000138.html

posted February 03, 2009 03:37 PM         

-It looks like he has a Pluto-Venus-Mars conjunction that would endow him with a lot of sexual power, especially the power of sexual persuasion, and...
-Also a Sun-Saturn conjunction with nothing much tempering it, no real other influences touching his Saturn/Sun...

So it's like he has all of this explosive stuff going on, and then the unhappy influence of a highly critical, Virgoan Sun-Saturn situation, making him potentially judgmental and unhappy, and tossing some earth over all of his air. His happiness would come from really being able to get to know his Cancer Jupiter, finding a way to nurture himself and others. But right now he seems troubled.

Your own super-Virgo situation, with a packed 6th house, makes you eager to serve someone in a daily way. Your Aries moon in the 12th gives you some emotional fire that interacts uncomfortably with that 12th house moon feeling of wanting to merge with the universe. Aries wants to assert the self above all things,. while the twefth house eclipses the self.

If the synastry posted is at all accurate, this guy's Mars-Venus-Pluto conjunction of power is sticking directly to your own tricky 6th house stellium. With Pluto and Saturn in there, a part of you would struggle extra hard with a pull to submit to this man.

I feel like much of what'ds going on with you is about your own 6th house Saturn-Pluto conjunction. You are sucked in to power relationships and have a need to devote yourself to them (possibly even to be submissive), and the Saturn whammy thwarts your own expression of personal power. Your Moon and Venus trine Neptune (plus that 12th house Moon), can allow you to have a deep, giving, spirituality and creativity, but it also alludes to addictive situations in your nurturing. It would account for why you might want to care for someone who is deceptive or addicted. And your already challenging 12th house Aries Moon is opposed to your Saturn-Pluto conjunction. It could make relationships feel very, very hard or even hurtful inside you, with a pull of too many contradictory obligations.

It might be a nice time to take a break from sexual/romantic relationships as you connect to your very, very deep and inspiring spiritual potential, and to your ability to truly help others through service. You would be a skilled counsellor and guide for women in abusive relationships and/or people suffering from addictions, and/or children (I'm looking at that 5th house Leo Venus too) who have had a tough time because of these situations.

You are probably alluring to men and it can make it hard for you to say no and take the space that you need. You need to find an arena OTHER than romance to fulfill your need to give service. Romance is not the right arena for your service or sacrifice.

Hope this helps and does not sound too negative. You are a person with a lot of power to really help others. This guy may have the capacity to misdirect and take advantage of that power.