posted July 14, 2009 12:13 PM         

I've got a question about Neptune in my synastry with this guy... it is quite heavily aspected. There is lots of other good stuff going on but the abundance of Neptune is a flag for me as I have to be careful of it anyway, since it's the only planet in my 7th house less than half a degree from my descendent. I find myself thinking about him a lot, so I just want a dose of astro-reality to balance it out

Here's the chart I posted in the original thread (my planets are horizontal):

And here's the big picture:

posted July 14, 2009 06:51 PM         

What always worries me in synastry is not Neptune squares or those neat quintiles--actually, it's more the "good" aspects--tight conjunctions or trines.

You can see it all the time on Lindaland:

"He won't talk to me and just stammers and shakes when I come near, are we Soul Mates?" "Even though we are both married to other people and live 1000 miles away, she is my one true love and Soul Mate and she feels that way too" (also, Neptune goggles make you act like a a--hole!! How lovely this was for this guy's real wife who shared her real life with him!) "Look at my yooyoo double whammy with his Eros! We haven't spoken yet, is he The One?" NEPTUNE GOGGLES!

If you look at the synastry for these people,you will see a tight Neptune conjunction with a personal planet or with the obsessive person's Node. I had this with Pisces Moon Man--my NN conjunct his Venus-Neptune. I really felt like he had all these intense feelings for me and he was too shy, scared, overwhelmed to express them...and every time I tried to get past the haze, he (or I? or Neptune?) seemed to make more haze. It was awful.

To me, your synastry looks fine Neptune-wise...that Moon-Neptune square might thwart or retard efforts to fully realize your emotional connection...those nice quintiles the other way would add to the inspirational potential of the relationship. I don't see and huge red flags like a snug Neptune-Venus conjunction.

BUT I am worried that you are worried. Ironically, needing an astrologer to tell you that the relationship is okay or mutual or a go is a key sign of Neptune goggles. So give yourself the following tests:

-are both of you living in the same place and actually seeing, touching, talking to each other in person and looking into each other's eyes? If yes, proceed. If no, it's a delusion, not a relationship, unless you were involved in person in a real relationship with each other in the past.

-have you been feeling like there's "something between you" for over 8 months, you are both adults, and yet nothing has happened? If yes, Neptune goggles. It's almost like Neptune goggled people CAN'T ever actually get it together, but yet at least one nurses the delusion even more fervently when they don't.

-are both of you actually single and/or in consensually open relationships? If yes, proceed. If not, it may be Neptune goggles, or you might just be being an a--hole, and you should DROP IT.

-if there's some big, deep reason you can't be together, yet your love is true--ICK, Neptune goggles. ("He has to stay with her cause she's dying, but he loves me"--dude, do the dying woman a favor and be honest and stop emotionally cheating on her.)

I don't think just having mutual Neptune contacts creates these situations...also, with your natal Neptune, you might be more familiar with how to work with Neptune in a constructive way romantically. I don't get that bad Neptune feel from this synastry.

posted July 15, 2009 12:14 AM         

Bravo. Well said!

posted July 15, 2009 02:21 AM         

You are right about my natal Neptune placement giving me familiarity with how to handle that type of energy in my relationships. Actually, I think partly because of it, and out of necessity, I've developed an ability to see through people's BS a mile away. Still, I have to be careful not to get carried away in the dreamy aspects of a relationship.

I use the term "relationship" loosely. I think of anyone you get involved with and are interested in or become friends with is in a relationship with you- I guess a more technical interpretation of the word. So I say relationship, but this is a very new one. And currently atypical, as the majority of it has been long-distance. We will be able to pick up where we left off when he returns to the states in a few weeks.

No need to worry about me asking for guidance. I'm not looking for someone to tell me an absolute yes or no or what should I do, thank goodness. It's possible I have a slight case of Neptune goggles, but that's not why I'm posting on this topic. Quite honestly, besides the obvious that my feelings are involved, I'm out of work right now and I'm bored as hell! And my mind has too much time to think about things I normally wouldn't focus on so much. I like to hear others' perspectives as it enables me to broaden my awareness. I'm a Gemini Sun/Merc/Asc with a Libra moon (conjunct Pluto in 5th)- I have to look at something from as many angles as I possibly can! Especially when feelings are involved.

It's nice to hear your take on this synastry, and to know that Neptune isn't so bad in certain aspects. I'm learning about these planets more each day, and Neptune is one of those I haven't been able to develop an understanding for. Its nature is complex to me. I've heard things mostly regarding it's bad reputation, and looking at all of that Neptune interaction made me do a double-take.