posted April 04, 2010 01:44 AM         

There will have to be major sacrafice to be together, because we live 900 miles apart.
I live in his home town, but his work is very established where he lives, and the economy is really bad where I live.
So, it would seem I would be the one having to do the moving.

I don't know if I have the courage to leave my family. I may end up only getting joint custody, or visitations. My kids are at the age where they would be allowed to decide, and I know that they would not want to move that far away, when all their friends and fam lives here.

I fear that may taint my happiness, that I may feel guilt or resentment for leaving.
But, I also feel that I cannot stay another winter here, I feel that each winter my suicidal thoughts grow in intensity.
I know these feelings stem from my being torn between duty to children and fam, and wanting to find true love.

I have the "last chance" kind of feeling.

I wonder if anyone has any thoughts?
Will I grow a pair, and just move, and be happy?
Course I worry that he may not REALLY want me to, he is a Pisces, and I'm not sure, or well, standing on water can be difficult sometimes.
He did ask me to marry him in an email.

Cards, random thoughts, astro, anything, please...I would be so greatful. This will be the biggest, hugest, most important step of my adult life, and I am terrified!!!

posted April 04, 2010 01:59 AM         

I think a good happy medium would be to go to visit him for a nice visit and see how it feels before you actually commit to move there.

I will pull some cards.

posted April 04, 2010 02:17 AM         

4 of pentacles

Devil

I asked if you would go to him.

These cards say no, not right now, anyway. They show that you are scared (devil/star reversed) and that you are stubbornly clinging to what you have now -- family, sameness (4 of P).

So then I asked a past, present, future for your relationship with him.

I got:

Past --Nine of Pentacles, reversed -- This says to me that you are having financial difficulties. That you are unhappy, not living up to your full potential.

Present --King of Pentacles: This says to me that you are staying, for now, because you are doing what is practical for your family.

Future -- High priestess: This says to me that I was right and you will eventually go to him if that is what you really want to do. You will end up listening to your feelings, intuition, and will go with your heart. Whatever choice you make, with this as your outcome card, you will have made the right decision and you will be content with it.

posted April 04, 2010 10:56 AM         

Yes, stubbornly clinging has gotten me nowhere!!

Definetly true about the finances, but that wouldn't be so with him. He has offered to take care of me (and my kids, if they chose to go) financially, and he is in the position to do that.
But, that has no bearing on my decision, at all.

I've been thinking of The High Preistess alot lately, so, that doesn't surprise me that you got that card.

I HATE the number 4, truly, it has been a thorn in my side.
(12-6-1966=4)
4 people have alot of trouble taking chances, and I have lost so much time with this problem of "being stuck."

posted April 04, 2010 12:27 PM         

I seem to be swinging back to just going for it, because I'm afraid of losing more time to having done nothing, out of indecision or anxiety. (I go though periods of getting the Eight of Swords a lot, as though tarot is telling me that I know what to do, I'm just not looking at things in the right way).

posted April 04, 2010 03:27 PM         

My gut feel says, "No" as well. (I saw Diana's "No" briefly) Although it's only LEXX and Zala who think I am psychic, I just think I have a strong intuition. So, I didn't pull a card or anything. I just concentrated on what my soul is telling me, and it says:

"Wait for him to be stronger in your life"

I don't know what that means exactly, but you need to wait for him to get some sort of strength.

I am feeling that you should wait to have him make a grander gesture, so to speak, because at that point, he will be more ready to commit than he is now. He will be more certain of what he wants, and basically there is no need to worry yourself about moving at the moment because things will come to light that will point you in the right direction.

So, no moves yet! Ok?

posted April 04, 2010 03:28 PM         

And, my estranged husband is an 8, well you know what they say about 4's and 8's, so I did ^ his, and he's an 8 too! (3/4/1963)

*sigh* I WAS so impulsive (Aries Asc) when I was younger, majorly so....hence the Gypsy nicknames and stuff, but everything changes when you become responsible for more than just yourself, you know??

It's an eternal dilemna, do I make myself happy or others??

He's a pretty serious guy when it comes to relationships, though. He says I was his first love (he was 23, I was 20), and he's had only two women in his life since then.
He's a Cappy Venus.
So, I want to believe, of course I do!!
But, there is always doubt, and I have to wonder if that is my own self doubt/self esteem issues or if it's reality. You know??

I think the visit is the best way to go.
He has vacation time, and he has the means to travel, and places to stay here, since most his family is here. BUTT....

We both have the sense that if he visits, and we spend those two weeks together, he won't be going home without me, so, I think that is where the fear stems from.
It's easy to have (well not EASY) a LDR, because in a sense, it can be whatever you want it to be.
I'm not washing his socks, and he's not changing my oil.
Reality is a whole different ball game.
This is where the 4 people get stuck, I think, we get too mired down in logistics, and what ifs.... At least that has been my experience with it.

ETA: Unmoved, you and I were posting at the same time, I missed yours.
Yes, ok, a grander gesture?
Well, he says he is house hunting, so that there will be rooms for any and all of the children (his and mine) that might want to live there.
He has no NEED for a house, ATM, since he is a bachelor that works tons of hours, and is basically never home.
So, would that be a grand enough gesture, do you think??

I'm having Pluto trine Pluto transit for the next year or so. I feel like if this happens, it will be very quick. And there would be a very quick marriage as well.

The timing as to WHEN this would happen is in question, so yes, your gut may be telling me to see how it goes from here on out.

He wants to send me a phone, so he can talk to me whenever we want. My estranged pays for my phone right now. He only allows me a 15 dollar minute card every two weeks, and this just so he or the kids can get a hold of me.
So, speaking to Pisces on the phone is difficult because, we have different carriers, and it uses up minutes really fast when I talk to him.
I have never taken anything from a man before, it's very, very difficult for me to do that.
But, I am thinking about taking his phone offer, because, with Merc being so huge in our synastry, it's like we HAVE to talk to one another, or we feel very lost/depressed.

posted April 04, 2010 03:41 PM         

quote:

---

Well, he says he is house hunting, so that there will be rooms for any and all of the children (his and mine) that might want to live there.
He has no NEED for a house, ATM, since he is a bachelor that works tons of hours, and is basically never home.
So, would that be a grand enough gesture, do you think??

---

I'd say that's a grand gesture. Definitely. But, let's wait and see how he manages to do it.

posted April 06, 2010 03:21 AM         

Anyhooooooooo.... I wish I'd read your post sooner!!!!

I haven't pulled cards...I am not on speaking terms with mine at the moment (lol).
Half the time or more, I don't do cards anyway. I know what I feel though, especially when I feel something this distinct as with you and Pisces. I don't need cards in that case I'm strictly an empath, so I am going with my gut here:

posted April 06, 2010 03:22 AM         

I don't think he is as strong as you are, so I don't feel you should wait here. That's not why you should go though. I just feel you want the change and you know it's right. I am also told that as he is, is as he is. This man is VERY set in his ways from what I get, also. Despite alll the Pisces stuff, there's a strong old-fashioned streak there which I feel is very prominent. He's got a provider thing going on too. And he's protective to boot. A lot of this is also that he's worked to become how he is now...and he's had a really hard life. He's 'paid his dues', so to speak. And so have you. You've both been down some intense paths and as a result are now ready to explore this thing

I feel that in your heart, you want to go....so you should, because it would make you feel a ton of relief to simply follow your own heart. I strongly see that things will fall into place once you do go anyway.
I would never, in a million years, suggest this stuff to someone else by the way. Your case is totally exceptional to me. What you have is very time-tested. Plus I can also feel your excitement.

It's not going to happen quickly, and it won't happen in a couple of months. You are both so scared to not 'do the right thing', that in the process you are all about tying up loose ends, etc. Being 'sure' even though you know you are. In a way it's sweet because you know the move is a permanent one. So you're going to be solidifying everything in the process. I see things taking about 8-10 months. Maybe a year. You'll see each other before then, for sure. But the move for you will be around that time. Your communication time will increase around the summer as well. You are both setting things into motion....

In all honesty, it feels like you are long overdue for this

OK.... rant over. Please keep us posted on what happens!!

posted April 06, 2010 12:07 PM         

I wished I would of put on mascara AFTER reading your posts!!

Thanks everyone for your support, not alot of people would support someone who is thinking of breaking up a family, so I appreciate it very much...

And, Yin, you've been with me for this whole ride, and I am so grateful for that, you've held my hand in so many ways... and you know how much detail is involved in all this, and that amount of DUES I've had to pay, with this 25 year long relationship with the Cap, it's not healthy...

So, MVM, everything you said seems absolutely on the money.
My heart was pounding reading it, I know that it's truth..

Thank You so much for that, I needed so badly to hear it, and I cannot thank you enough.
You have him nailed to the "T."

posted April 07, 2010 04:09 PM         

MVM, I told Pisces what you said, and he said, "Im speechless, I'm so happy that I am speechless."