posted March 05, 2011 06:21 PM
I'm not an experienced reading giver, but this seems obvious enough.The 1st house and Ascendant represent how you appear to other, regardless of your "true" self (sun).
Libra represents partnerships and love and all that.
So you, having a Libra Ascendant, reflect your relationship, and not having one will be reflected too. Crying is a way of showing sadness.
Furthermore you have a stellium in your 1st house, most notably including Venus and Mars, the planets of Femininity and Masculinity; Society and uh.. aggression, haha. So this will add both your romantic and sexual drives to your outward reflection.
I'm not really qualified to say this but I'm not sure the Ascendant representing your outward reflection necessarily means you can't be convinced of it yourself, or at least feel it when being exposed to others who are picking up the reflection. Or maybe the others pick up your outward self, and reflect it back at you by treating you as if you are how they interpret you to be. This could be a way in which your self-pity is amplified.
Also, you have Jupiter in Cancer, and Jupiter I understand represents ideals and philosophy, while Cancer represents nourishing and security. So perhaps you consciously or subconsciously hold nourishing and security, and having a total trust relationship as idealistic.
This Jupiter is opposed by the Moon, and also Juno. This is interesting because the Moon rules Cancer, and it's suitably enough in the 4th house which rules cancer, but it is in the sign of Capricorn, opposite Cancer, while you're 10th house and indeed Jupiter are in Cancer, while the 10th house represents Capricorn. I don't even really remember anything definitely about Juno but I think it's like some mother representing planet too, or maybe that's Ceres, or both.
Anyway this Jupiter opposite Moon, at least, can signify that your habits conflict with your ideology. Specifically, your Capricornian (bureaucratic, vocational, sensual) habits conflict with your Cancerian (homey, comfortable, emotional) ideologies. Because the moon represents habits and reflection, past life, etc. which can quite a lot of the time be part of logic, and thus pretty important.
Again I don't know what Juno means, so I'm not going to touch it, but it's quite likely to have some impact especially if it represents something about mothers.
So, I'm not sure I really helped you at all besides saying "Hey yeah, that could be astrologically interpreted like so", as I haven't really given you any advice. But Perhaps you can find some meaning in these sources presuming they're part of the problem and figure a solution out.
Regardless, good luck.
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Pisces Sun, Libra Moon, Scorpio Ascendant..
Cardinal Grand Cross