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Author Topic:   Lost cause?
Aquasungirl
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 10, 2011 05:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquasungirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi! This is my first post! Thanks for reading.

I was seeing a guy:
Sun: Sag
Moon: Aqua
rising: Scorp
Venus:Scorp
Merc, Mars: Sag

After about a month, he wants to have a talk and reveals to me how he doesn't know how he feels yet and how he has this self-imposed pressure that he should know by now. I reassure him that I'm in no hurry and that he def doesn't need to know already and that we're still just getting to know each other and having fun. So I decide to give him some space. Wouldn't want him feeling unnecessary pressure. But then he does a complete 180 and is wanting to hang out all the time and txting constantly, etc. for about a week.

End of that week, I'm super confused as to what the hell happened to Mr. I-don't-know-how-I-feel, and I start to push him away. This whole time he is def initiating most of the time, not really me. Then I tell him that I want to talk and that I'm sorry for pushing him away. that I guessed it was me starting to feel things and kind of resisting my feelings due to fear, etc... Then 2 days later, he wants a talk and says the last week of high intensity was (he realized in hindsight) his way of desparately trying to feel something for me and discovering that he just doesn't. And to be fair, despite our awesome sex, that he thought it best to end things.

My question: should I take his words at face value and let this go? Or did I turn him off or make him feel rejected because I had some reservations about jumping in so quickly and not matching his intensity? I want to match him. I just need a lot of reassurance of his feelings before I am able to fully let myself fall.

me:
sun: aqua
merc: pisces
venus: aries
mars: virgo
(don't know my time of birth)

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any insight!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 6580
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 10, 2011 05:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Welcome!

------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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LEXX
Moderator

Posts: 5299
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 10, 2011 07:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aquasungirl

I would say let him go.
Sounds to me like despite the great sex;
which may have contributed to the confusion over how either or both of you really feel about each other;
neither of you honestly wants a relationship with each other and or
maybe just not at this time;
so for now;
either be just friends or let each other go.

------------------
~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX }><}}}(*>~

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Aquasungirl
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 10, 2011 10:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquasungirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you, Randall and Lexx for the warm welcomes!

Lexx, thank you for your insight. And you're probably right about the sex clouding his assessment of his feelings for me. I, however, know that I do like him a lot and can see myself with him seriously. My hesitation was due to the complete change of behavior on his part after telling me he felt pressured to know how he feels about me. I couldn't help but think that the extra attention was from him just wanting me on a physical level without the emotional stuff. And I guess I was pushing him away as a self-preservation mechanism because I felt myself falling for him and my body knew that I shouldn't.

I know now that he is a good person. I questioned it then. So what I'm wondering is maybe when he was falling for me (during extra attention week) I inadvertently turned him off or made him feel like the feelings weren't mutual. I read that venus in scorpios need complete union or the like and if they don't get that, they could kind of "sting" back and end a relationship they find insecure?

I, too, am capable of that kind of all encompassing love. I just wasn't sure that it was safe to do so. And the more I get to know him, I am becoming more and more convinced of his character and that he is not a player. I want to be able to salvage any potential for establishing this relationship. When I bring up him saying that he doesn't feel for me at a more recent conversation, he was quick to interrupt with,"but I did feel a lot." I don't know. Maybe he was just trying not to make me feel bad. Although, he is ruthlessly/tactless blunt (a trait that I so do love about him)and forthright about his thoughts and is SO very concerned about hurting me in any way (his previous girlfriend of 5 yrs was badly hurt when he broke up with her and he feels a LOT of guilt from that experience still) that I don't think he would just volunteer info like that unless it was true.

Sigh...I don't know.

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Aquasungirl
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 10, 2011 10:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquasungirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, forgot to mention: he says he's really confused too. That he's trying to be as fair as possible. Because more than anything else, he couldn't stand hurting me.

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LEXX
Moderator

Posts: 5299
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 11, 2011 01:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aquasungirl:
Oh, forgot to mention: he says he's really confused too. That he's trying to be as fair as possible. Because more than anything else, he couldn't stand hurting me.

Ahhhhh....

quote:
I read that venus in scorpios need complete union or the like and if they don't get that, they could kind of "sting" back and end a relationship they find insecure?

I am Scorpio with Venus in Scorpio.
I would and have feel/done so.

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Aquasungirl
Newflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 11, 2011 03:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquasungirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes! So you know what I'm talking about?! So, I know that you are not him and I'm sure it's different between a male venus in scorpio and a female venus in scorpio but from your perspective: how do you react in this situation? More importantly, is this a done deal? Once your heart has been hurt or turned off to a person, is that it? How permanent is this "stingingness"?

I know in my heart that he respects and cares for me deeply. Is this offense irreparable? How does the venus scorpio work? He is the perfect blend of fiery passion (his many planets in sag/venus in scorpio) which appeals to my venus in aries with a blend of duty, respect, and caring (his 10th house in virgo) which greatly appeals to my mars in virgo. It is difficult for me to find one person who possesses both sets of traits.

How would you advise I can redeem myself? Should I just come out and reveal my feelings? For whatever reason, I don't think that's a viable option. I feel like the venus scorpio thrives on mystery and I think that was what was so appealing about me to him. I'm slow to open up and to just come out and tell him would just destroy all the mystery? I don't know? Am I completely off the mark? So confused...

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