Author
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Topic: Alienation - What could be causing it?
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doll Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 27, 2011 03:21 AM
I'm going through a somewhat lonely period in my life. Not sure what transits may be causing this, but it seems like within the past 9 months or so my efforts to communicate/get in touch with old friends have been completely and utterly futile. Lots of ignored phone calls from...well, everyone. Absolutely no one seems to want to talk to me, though through networking sites like facebook they seem to be talking to everyone else/not very busy. And I'm not on bad terms with anyone - in fact, I considered myself a good friend to these people, was always there for them when they needed...which is why it hurts so much that I was dropped just like that (in favor of others). Making new friends has also been extremely difficult. The few people that DO want talk to me are the ones that I'm TRYING to avoid - IE: Creepy alcoholic male predator types (I attribute this to the mars square neptune aspect in my chart), or female friends that are constantly depressed out of their minds/ on drugs, draining me emotionally. All I want is a nice group of friends, a harmonious social life, and all I seem to run into are the wrong types of people (This actually has been recurring throughout my life). Will I ever meet good people? :'( I am getting so fed up.... my chart... any insight at all?? IP: Logged |
uranusingleton Knowflake Posts: 106 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 27, 2011 07:22 AM
Hi there, Well from looking at your natal chart we both share the south node in the 11th house of friendships among other things, and your north node is in the fifth house. I won't do justice on what that means but this woman will http://northnodeastrology.blogspot.com/2008/08/south-node-eleventh-house-north-node.ht ml but I will say friends tend to hold you back or you can't count on them. I've had experience with this. However, its not to say you won't meet a heart mate. What your going through is what I've been going through for years, however, I have a few friends for a couple of years now but its sort of long distance so that doesn't help as much. Also you would need to post a transit chart, as you posted your natal, astro.com allows you to view different kinds of charts. I would suggest aside from astrology that if you wanted to find good friends go where you think good people go, spiritual groups perhaps.. But watch out for cults if your going to join a spiritual group. Just throwing that out there. But it does suck that your facebook friends aren't writing you back, I know how that goes. Good luck in your search. Not to mention, follow your dreams and the rest will follow.IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 7065 From: The Goober Galaxy Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 27, 2011 10:55 AM
Welcome!------------------ "All deaths are suicides, do you realize that? Every single one. The only distinction is that, with some people, suicide is a subconscious choice, and with others it's a conscious choice. Otherwise, those who commit suicide and those who succumb to accident, illness or "old age," die for exactly the same reason: belief in the inevitability of death." Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
doll Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 27, 2011 11:38 AM
Thank you Randall @ uranusingleton Thanks so much for your response. You're right, my friendships are never reliable. A typical one would consist of whiny types draining me emotionally 24/7 and then when I need them to be there, they are conveniently unavailable. Seriously, they can literally be whining to me one minute and then gone the next when the subject is not about them anymore. This has been a characteristic of nearly all of my friendships. It would be a lie to say that I'm not totally seething with jealousy over everyone else who seems to have it so much easier in this department. I am, i absolutely am, because deep down there is something in me that needs to relate to a larger group of people, and yet all my life I've been the odd one out. :/ That link seems very accurate - I've always been the one watching everyone from afar (makes me feel kinda creepy actually lol). I kick myself for this because (not to be cocky or anything) I know that I am an attractive person, have been told that I am creative/eccentric, and can't see how I've come to be such a loner/'observer'. Here are my transits in case you want to have a look (I hope I'm doing this right) As for following my dreams, I know that pluto is conjuncting my neptune right now...Needless to say, ever since this transit has begun a lot of my dreams as a teenager, which have been dormant for some time, suddenly resurfaced again, only for me to discard them and look for better alternatives. More than ever, though, I feel like there is something obsessive in me that is telling me I need to hurry and find my place in the world in relation to others. :-[ it's soooo frustrating, it keeps me awake at nights. Lots of insomnia. Anyway, thanks again for your response...sorry this was so long...I haven't exactly had anyone to talk to about this (lol). IP: Logged |
doll Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 27, 2011 11:47 AM
oh and i just wanted to add, that like you, all of my better friendships seem to be long distance as well - what's up with that? : PIP: Logged |
uranusingleton Knowflake Posts: 106 From: Registered: Sep 2010
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posted March 27, 2011 02:36 PM
I didn't catch this in your natal but you have this aspect which is pretty much how you feelUranus in the 3rd House Your urge for change, awakening and uniqueness can show itself as your being the odd-one-out as far as education, relatives, communicating and thinking are concerned. To meet this with feelings of suspicion and alienation would be missing the point of your having an original and inventive mind that is able to influence and lead. It doesn't run away. If Uranus has difficult Aspects (see below) shocks and accidents can occur involving travel or brothers or sisters. Any such events should be investigated for they would profoundly affect your mentality and everyday attitude towards life. You may also move around a lot, or not fit in with acquaintances. Again this is a sign of your restless and unusual mind that, when positively expressed, can introduce the new and unusual to everyday life, the cosmic into the commonplace. also Saturn is transiting your 12th house so you are examining all your short comings, restrictions, and failures (though in your mind it may be a failure). You have I believe Jupiter squaring your natal Neptune so that could explain why you feel like your changing your cherished dreams from your teenage years. If you want someone to talk to I don't mind having a pen pal my email ID on yahoo is v_otazo .. I think that Uranus in the 3rd is quite big. If you email me we can focus on the positive But if you want to vent that's okay too. IP: Logged |
Cardinal Arbiter Knowflake Posts: 285 From: T-dot Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 27, 2011 02:49 PM
I have much the same problem and always have. I'm pretty shy, but I'm beginning to think perhaps I'm not all too much, I've just been presented with no reasonable alternative hitherto. Being subject to public ridicule has injured me, I think. But I have presented my perception constructively and when I have it's often been met with alienation, even by those who share constructive goals.I simply attribute it to social insecurity of others and myself. All struggling for bliss through acceptance, incapacitated by ignorance, whether confused or aloof, daunted by risk. Astrologically I've attributed it to a Cardinal Grand Cross, but I haven't really thought about astrology recently. Also, I was raised in a rural community and last year moved to a big city, desiring to leave my social anxiety behind. This didn't really work though, as I still had conviction for every person who was not disposed helpfully. However, I did feel an extreme increase in humanitarian obligation, because I believed I had the opportunity to apply myself. Evidently, I didn't though, as I have returned back home after not acquiring financial sustainability. When I was there, I became the most depressed and suicidal I ever have from pressure without security. When I'm here, I feel helpless and thus simply give in to non-productivity, such as extreme gratification, though I've always had a humanitarian philosophy. Incidentally, I have Venus in Aries 19 degrees, and Mars in Cancer 11 degrees. I also have Uranus in the 3rd house, and it's in a cardinal grand cross so obviously stressfully aspected. ------------------ Pisces Sun, Libra Moon, Scorpio Ascendant.. Cardinal Grand Cross IP: Logged |
doll Newflake Posts: 4 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted March 27, 2011 03:48 PM
@uranusingleton, I've toned down the way I communicate a lot, because I tend to say things that shock people (I'll say something in a very figurative or metaphorical way and they'll perceive it absolutely in the literal sense). It's weird because I think people secretly enjoy this trait of mine but don't want to admit it for fear of being associated with the 'strange girl that might tarnish my reputation'. I notice it's the way I communicate that alienates people, and occasionally attracts them (sometimes simultaneously resulting in love-hate type relationships...I do have the venus square mars aspect)You pointed out the North Node 5th house placement which is something I never really looked at before and it explains so much for me - thanks for that. I guess I perceive my friends as unreliable because I really do rely on them too much - it feels so 'comfortable' to grow in a group instead of taking the lead myself. I have a fear of accomplishing things on my own, in spite of big ambitions.... I'm all for penpals so I'll go ahead and drop you a line. It's nice to have friends that are into astrology and maybe I can take a look at your chart too, though I'm not very good at interpreting haha. But yes, I'll send you an email. @ Cardinal Arbiter I grew up and currently reside in a big city, so I know first hand how rigid and impersonal things can be. Ironically, I've always long for more rural areas - they seem friendlier, but - grass is greener I suppose.
I can totally relate to how you feel about the shyness and fear of ridicule. I too suffer from social anxiety - especially in the workplace. It's never been easy for me to hold a job for long periods of time - i think they call this performance anxiety or something because I'm hypersensitive to criticism, prone to panic attacks and such. Are you into numerology? Astrology gave me a lot of insight about my anxiety in these situations, but numerology also (looking at the challenge numbers) really blew me away. I wonder what role Uranus in the 3rd plays in all this? I know Uranus in general can really take a toll on one's nerves, make people really jittery. Do you feel like you often need novelty/new situations in your life, and then when you finally get them, run back to your comfort zone out of fear? <~ That's me in a nutshell. : P heh IP: Logged |
Cardinal Arbiter Knowflake Posts: 285 From: T-dot Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 28, 2011 12:55 AM
I haven't drawn that conclusion, but perhaps it is so.The country is more tight night, as there is less of a quilt. But that means that if someone alienates you, everyone else is that person's friend and they'll all alienate you too. What I longed for in the city was an impersonal atmosphere where I would be confident to express myself because everyone would be too preoccupied to pass judgment. This didn't happen though, I still anticipate the worse to convince myself out of it, as ridiculous as it may be. IP: Logged | |