posted April 03, 2011 05:36 PM            

i have a life-long complicated issue that needs solving, getting all tangled up with other problems along the way, and it has snowballed into a burden and i kind of cannot move.

now, after a long long time in the darkness, after so many trials i cannot possibly express in one sentence, i think, i found a way to solve the root problem. but precisely now, i run out of money. and soon my visa. relationship all upside down. it was too late. it's over. i'll be homeless, country-less, penny-less, all alone. i see a huge abyss opening its mouth ahead of me. this is beyond terrifying.

i've been trying to write a letter to my father, in the language i'm not adequate with, to explain my situation. but i don't know if he can help me much financially. but he's my last hope to earn some time so i can "solve the root problem" in the mean time. in my transit chart, i see an inner revolution, awakening. but i don't know if it's ending good or bad. i feel utterly helpless right now.

posted April 04, 2011 06:44 AM            

abdc, thanks so much for your suggestion. it looks like a lot of people are asking and i hope it's not too much… i'll email and ask.

posted April 06, 2011 04:51 AM            

i finally finished the letter to my father and sent it. i have not had the courage to open my email just yet, but i will do that when the void moon is over (just to give myself a little sense of security...!)

it was a big trial for me to write the letter to him, because i'm not good with his language. i hope the way i express myself did not sound too dramatic and phony. languages are hard. i also don't know him too closely and i cannot guess his response so well. it adds to me fear.

i feel comforted that you don't sense terrible circumstances. that really helps me keep the hopes up. i'm sure there will be trials, because even if my father can help me a little, there are other things to take care of. but if you don't sense negative, it means that i will come through the trials.

i'll try to stay firm and face it. i'll let you know what my father says.

posted April 06, 2011 08:42 AM            

i'm really too overwhelmed right now, but i wanted to let you kind souls know.

oh i feel terrible that he doesn't have enough for himself. but i'm so relieved that i'm safe for the moment. but i cannot just relax yet, his aid will really put me on a safer place, but i still have issues that needs solving, like the visa being the main issue.

posted April 06, 2011 10:22 AM            

Yes, there will always be trials.
Like another came at me yesterday.
Fraking chipmunks ate electric wiring in my house yesterday so now cannot fix furnace or use the space heaters. About 3/4 of our electric is out.
Now we must go around and try to do extensive rewiring by ourselves because we cannot afford to pay anyone to do it.

quote:

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Originally posted by lechien:
LEXX, just curious, do you see visions like you start having vivid imaginations?

i sometimes have prophetic dreams, but i have no control. the most memorable one was the dream of my mother in the pool of blood on the toilette floor. i immediately told her to get a check up. she was diagnosed colon cancer and had an operation. this was before she disowned me. i worry how she's doing, but no news is a good news, i suppose...

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As to how I see things like the burning barn,
Well to those around me I go like catatonic,
whether sitting or standing.
I can be cooking or on the toilet or anything.......
lol even during sex LOL!
From my point of view the world as I know it totally disappears.
I find myself actually seeming to be in the physical observing things, smell seeing touch, but then gets weird when
People walk right through me.
Then I come back to reality and blabber like a wild magpie over where I had just been and what I saw.
The same goes for past things; like for example;
My husband at the time, ex2, and me and my son were driving down a 4 lane freeway and I suddenly saw a man in front of me pleading whilst pointing at a corpse of himself,
"Please help me!"
I screamed at my husband;
"there is a dead guy in the median hidden in the high weeds,
go back!
He refused to.
Got home and opened the newspaper.
There was a picture of him. He was reported by his "loving" wife as being missing for a few days.
Suddenly I was seeing her, and another man, and they were killing the man I saw.
They stuffed him in garbage bags and took him across state lines and dumped his body by the freeway.
He asked me to tell someone what had really happened if his wife and her co-murderer boyfriend were not caught.
I hugged him and agreed.
Well as the story unfolded in real life,
they were caught, (I asked my discarnate friends to help and it worked!)
Things and names were exactly as I had seen.
The man thanked me when I tranced out again,
and I helped him with his transition.

posted April 06, 2011 01:07 PM            

and, i'm so sorry but i had to laugh at the chipmunk wire destruction! no i don't find it itself funny, but i so know what this is! you have a problem that already feels like it's beyond your ability to solve, then on top of that another problem happens as if the first wasn't enough! you'd think things just can't get worse, but they do! Ugghhh! i'm so sorry, good luck with fixing up the stuff!!

posted April 06, 2011 03:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lechien:
i also got a reply from saptarishi.oracle, and he says my father can help me. but the coming 2 months will be trying, i may have to move or at least some motions involved. but after this period is over i will have a hopeful phase coming. my partner's life will not see improvement until next year. but at least it will improve. i just have to stay firm and strong.

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posted April 06, 2011 04:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lechien:
LEXX you are a real special soul on earth. i wonder what your life's predicaments are meant to be. thank you for sharing the amazing story...

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quote:

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Originally posted by lechien:
and, i'm so sorry but i had to laugh at the chipmunk wire destruction! no i don't find it itself funny, but i so know what this is! you have a problem that already feels like it's beyond your ability to solve, then on top of that another problem happens as if the first wasn't enough! you'd think things just can't get worse, but they do! Ugghhh! i'm so sorry, good luck with fixing up the stuff!!

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quote:

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Originally posted by lechien:
as for me, i'm writing a reply to my father... with a little difficulty, again with the language thing. when i'm done, i think i'll just RELAX and not think about anything for a few days!!!

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posted April 06, 2011 05:00 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LEXX:
LOL! Indeed! Still fighting ninja fleas here for months. My poor cats.
I guess I am going to have to set up the diving pools of death again for the cute but dangerously destructive little baztard chipmunks. There is no other way.

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oy, i don't want to know how the death pool works...!

thank you LEXX, when i felt too overwhelmed by fear, i came to this thread and read you guys encouragements. it really meant a lot. now, i still have other things to worry about but for now i will just be happy one thing is solved.

posted April 07, 2011 09:03 AM            

my partner... he is finally totally depressed. he looks empty. he looks really really ugly and awful and old, he is shredded inside out. he's just vacantly staring into the mid-air and looks tapped out... i cannot even cheer him up, i know it means nothing at this state.

all i can do is to just walk away and leave him be.

...why don't i possess some divine power to symbolically "resurrect" his psyche? i die inside in the pain that i can do absolutely nothing for him. all i can do is to just work on my own things.

posted April 07, 2011 10:20 AM            

tr. Saturn is opposing the natal Jupiter so maybe it's over-weighing the Sun and Jupiter. also it's going back and forth around the degree of squaring his AC, which is currently getting kicked by the tr. Pluto...