posted August 18, 2011 12:18 PM            

But what I didn't find (or forgot... I was drunk, sorry ) was his birth date and his name. I only know he's born somewhere between 1980 and 1981. Also, the next times I met him, conversation consisted of only saying hi and him hardly making eye contact and keeping to himself.

Now today the thought crossed my mind that he reckons I'm too low a class for him, but that might just be paranoia from what happened with the last guy I had a fling with. Anyway, to make a long story short, because I have no birthdate for him, I decided to get a horary for my question regarding him: should I bother pursuing him or not?

Interestingly, my Venus is conjunct the horary's rising, but I have no idea which house to look at. If I look at 7th house for that guy, it doesn't look good with Mercury being retrograde and making no aspect with Jupiter even if the Moon is trine the Sun... Or should I look at the 5th house? Or, perhaps to avoid confusion, could anyone interpret this horary for me?

posted August 18, 2011 10:50 PM            

If he is mercury, then It figures why he appears introverted and shy to you since he is in your 8th house, but you are still finding him interesting. Mars in 7th is showing your assertiveness towards him.

posted August 19, 2011 01:45 AM            

Pluto in the 1st shows that there are complications and you are feeling vulnerable.

Moon acts as a co-significator for you, and is applying in a trine to Mercury, which shows promise. Moon is also applying in a trine to Venus and Sun. There's no aspect between Jupiter (you) and Mercury (him) but I think that just shows there isn't a relationship currently between you. The moon acts as the engine - it drives the action, and it is separating from all harsh aspects and applying to harmonious ones. Mercury (him) is conjunct Venus, which could mean he's with someone, but the aspect is separating which could mean they are parting ways soon.

Overall, I think there is possibly something that might throw a wrench into things, something could be unknown or overlooked, but if you stick it out through that it could turn into something promising.

posted August 19, 2011 06:12 AM            

Aries: yeah, that's what I thought. But then there's the question of should we use the co-significators or would the answer of the main significators be enough? I'm not sure what anyone else would say about that. But to be honest, I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Northernlad: yes, there is certainly no relationship between us now, at all.

And yeah, I'm not entirely secure, mostly due to my last experience. It's just that when a man never tells you you're good looking and then dumps you for someone who (imho) looks even worse, that kind of hurts the ego. It did mine anyway. So I'm usually there, thinking "yeah, why the hell would he want to pursue me, the man can get any girl he wants, he's not going to waste his time with ugly old me!" And that's what's kind of keeping me from just walking up to him and initiate a conversation (which I would otherwise have no problem with) and get to know him better.

But with the late Asc, to be honest, my instinct is saying go for it. It's my common sense saying (and yeah, my common sense if effed up) don't bother, you're not good enough. I've always had better results following my instincts, but again, thanks to my last experience with a certain man I am still questioning my instincts too. Hence why I pulled a horary. Annnnnd this bit shows just how insecure I am at the moment, I suppose?

posted August 19, 2011 06:32 AM            

Some women can be mean... and can give me the reputation of slag just for taking their men.

Anyway, I suppose the conversation was about having children and trying to get them to earn the title "Sinjoor", which is a title that is given to someone who is from Antwerp, but they need to be born in Antwerp and their parents need to be born in Antwerp for them to get that title. To which he just said he'd have his girlfriend have the baby in their house - to which he then quickly added "if I had a girlfriend. I don't have one now, but if I have a girlfriend and she would be pregnant, that's what I would do."

Don't ask HOW that topic ever got into the conversation though. Seriously, most of what I said that night, is a blank.

posted August 19, 2011 09:31 AM            

APPARENTLY Pluto is my co-ruler as well! So I have three co-rulers? Does that, then, mean that the guy I asked the question about also has Mars as his co-ruler? Well, that certainly diminishes the chance of either of the rulers having no aspects to to quesited's rulers...

The question still remains though, would he be 5th house or 7th house? He is not a partner, neither sexual or romantic, but since I'm not looking for short flings and am focusing on long-term, perhaps I should look at 7th? Or perhaps I should look at it because he falls under neither of the other "people" houses.

Argh... Horary is way too confusing, even with that thread that has been going around a few weeks ago about it, I still don't get any of it!

posted August 20, 2011 01:07 AM            

Plus this is or would have to be a secret relationship... Think about why that is.

He would only be in it for the sex. He would only be thinking of him self..

posted August 20, 2011 03:56 PM            

Nah, it is a shame to hear that since so far he is the only decent looking guy I've met who seemed even the least bit interested in me. It seems that I just can't seem to find anyone good enough and most of those who show even a slight bit of interest, sometimes even literally turn my stomach to even think of them being interested in me. Helps to further lower my self esteem too.

But if sex would be all this guy is looking for, he won't get that chance. I'm really going for all or nothing, no sex, no secretive behaviour unless they want a relationship. I had enough of just sex and secret "relationships" with the last guy.

I'm not going to pursue him either. He is an interesting character so I might strike up a few more conversations with him. If anything comes from that I'll decide if it is what I want and if it's not I'll decline kindly.

Still, it's so damn hard to find a simply decent looking guy these days. Maybe I'm doing something wrong but in all fairness, the longer I stay single the worse it becomes for my self esteem so the clock is ticking. So wherever that dream guy of mine is, it's time he shows up. And, Universe, I'll be very happy if it was Mick Flannery

posted August 24, 2011 04:55 PM            

Regarding Mars, yes, it could be his significator, or it could be some love interest of his, because Mars rules his derived 5th house. I think it's his significator, because I don't see any mutual reception going on between Mars and Mercury to support the theory of a love interest.

However, despite the applying sextile between Mars and Jupiter, from your exaltation, which is a positive sign, there are a few things to be considered. First of, Mars is in its own fall, so he has little dignity (I say little because Cancer is also its sign of triplicity - fall trumps triplicity), only accidental dignity (power to act) as it is angular. Being debilitated by essential dignity might mean he might not be right for you (he lacks the qualities you seek), especially since you receive his sextile in Mars's detriment.

His other ruler, Mercury, is even more debilitated. Retrograde, peregrine, combusted and placed in an awful house. I think you applying for a trine with Mercury means yes, but you have no mutual reception (you're in his term, meaning you somewhat like him, but you're not crazy about him) and it may be odd/may not go as well as you think. Also, because you are cadent and have little power to act. Did you exchange phone numbers or do you know how to reach him in case you decide to go for this?

posted September 04, 2011 06:23 AM            

Hera: I'm ashamed to say I only read your post just now! Interestingly, since his significator is in my 8th house, could that signify that I'm the one who's mainly thinking in sexual terms?

Anyway, I do have kind of a way to contact him. He frequents my regular dive, only noticed him after I started frequenting it myself again. I've always seen that bar as my territory for some reason though, must be the Scorpio in me

Anyway, him not talking to me was a misunderstanding I found out yesterday. I was supposed to meet up with a girlfriend in our local dive yesterday to go "manhunting", but she was running late and he was there so I started talking to him. I asked him then if he would mind if I would have come up to him to say hi because he always looked drowned in his newspaper, and as if he didn't want anyone to bother him. That was a misunderstanding, it turns out. Kind of goes with the Rx Mercury theme if you think about it...

Eventually the girl appeared as well and so we decided to talk in group. A few alcoholic drinks later one thing did lead to another, wanted to avoid it in a full bar and especially around people I knew just in case people would ask questions. But I suppose since they know him there as well, he's probably going to get the full third dergee just as well.

Anywayyy it could go either way. Things did kind of go a bit too fast and kind of awkward and that might be enough to scare any man off (plus, we had drink taken) so I'm not expecting anything. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I'm ready for anything more than what happened last night. I'm actually too worried about falling for someone and simply getting hurt again, so much that I sometimes think it's better not to even start going out with someone again.

posted September 04, 2011 06:31 AM            

Yeah, I still didn't ask his birthday. Shame on me

Edit: another small update, apparently he's a Scorpio Sun! This could be verrrrry interesting! I've never been with one of my own before.

posted September 04, 2011 12:36 PM            

quote:

---

Interestingly, since his significator is in my 8th house, could that signify that I'm the one who's mainly thinking in sexual terms?

---

Yes, it is a possibility. His presence in your 8th house means that you see him as someone who "activates" your 8th house. Meaning that you are attracted to him and would like to be intimate with him.

Have more confidence in yourself. He does seem to be interested in you and he holds you in high esteem (your ruler is in his derived 10th house, highest part in the chart and he's in your exaltation, so I think he likes you ).

posted September 04, 2011 01:31 PM            

What I could go by just from today, talking to that girlfriend and his actions, I'd say he might be serious. Our common friend said (she's known him for longer than I have) that he doesn't go off with just about anyone and she thinks that might mean something. Also, after going home this morning, he came back again a few hours later. That never happened before with any man. He's also very generous with compliments, which does correspond with what you said about him holding me in high esteem, but in the end I can't say if it's still the residu of the drink talking or if he really is serious. He didn't give me his phone number which is not a good sign.

posted September 04, 2011 01:42 PM            

If this bothers you that much, ask him out somewhere else, where friends of baby's father won't be around. Try not to think about it as a big deal, what's the harm in hanging out with someone who's company you enjoy?

You're both applying to each other with positive aspects, but each of you have to overcome something to get there. He's in fall in Cancer and that is an impediment. You're cadent in the 3rd and that's another impediment. But I think you can reach common ground. I can't say it will all end up as you want or expect, but if you like this person maybe you should give it a try. At the very least, you'll make a new friend. Is that so bad?

Take care, Aya and hope you'll keep us posted.

posted September 04, 2011 01:55 PM            

3rd house would have to do with either speech or neighbourhood I suppose? And Cancer... Hmm.

My baby's father is still upset about our break-up. He even still continues to call the guy I was with after him, my "toy boy". Just to illustrate how frustrated he is. It does seem that the guys who work in the bar, won't be bothered to go and tell my ex and as you say, my baby's father will have to cope eventually that I can see other people.

Interestingly, the more I get to know him, the more he's starting to sound like the person that local psychic described months ago. Moreso than any of the other "candidates" so far. Sure, she said he'd be older, but 4 years is older too although I don't think it makes much of a difference. That's the only thing that wouldn't apply really.

posted September 04, 2011 02:10 PM            

He's still in my life for certain. Partly, he will always be because we have a child together and he wants to see his son so we have to stay in contact, and the other part because he still owes me a large sum of money which I sometimes suspect he subconsciously refuses to pay back because he knows once he has paid that he doesn't have me under his control anymore.

I have no doubt that if this lasts with this guy, that it's going to lead to a confrontation between them. My ex is very protective over his son. He wants to know who sees him and because he's still bitter over the break-up, I'm sure he's going to give this guy a hard time if he knows he's met my son already.

posted September 04, 2011 02:23 PM            

Yeah, money is pretty much the only issue now which forces me to keep my ex friendly because I do depend on his child support to pay off bills. He knows this, that's why I suspect he intentionally does not pay everything at a regular interval at least.

posted September 05, 2011 06:34 AM            

Also, I was wondering: the 10th house from the 5th is always the 2nd so in theory that must mean that if it's a woman's chart, the father of her child will always have influence of financial matters too, no? Of course, with me it's ruled by Saturn and Capricorn is intercepted in 1st, giving it an extra dimension, and of course the 2nd house doesn't always have to have a bad position or ruler, but 9 out of 10 the issues with baby's fathers is probably of a financial nature anyway

So, basically we have 2 saying it's going to work out considering a few obstacles, and 2 saying it's not. I appreciate all input of course, but I hope you guys can understand I'm a little confused now, because you all seem to have good arguments to come to your conclusion and I'm crap at horary so I really trust your input more than my own horary reading abilities. I'm tempted to ask another question to clarify but I understand with horary, if you ask the same question twice, the second chart won't answer your question

Oh well, we'll see.

posted September 05, 2011 12:39 PM            

Ever since then, he can't stop flooding my facebook with hate-messages, calling me every name in the book, trying to sabotage the whole thing I'm sure. Just because he's jealous. That would be pretty clear that he is trying to interfere I suppose?

posted September 07, 2011 02:23 PM            

Forget what I said about Scorpio, he had something around his neck but I think I know where that came from. Didn't get an exact date but he's Libra sun, all in all a change from my serial Sagittarius sun attractions

Kind of ironic, because not so long ago, somewhere else I was saying how I just don't seem to understand Libra energy.

Also, he seems to be willing to try "us", but has said that he's a bit confused about my having a child, and that he doesn't want to rush into things due to past experiences, but that it felt good to him.

I, as it becomes a typical Gemini Moon conjunct Chiron opposite Mercury, remained numb about my feelings and gave him a cryptic answer about where I wanted to go. I should have said more, but somehow I find that hard when my son's around.