posted November 12, 2011 06:02 AM            

Okay, I have gone thru a past of tremendous emotional strife, abuse (sexual abuse) while sprouting in a family with emotional abuse and parenting emotional neglect) Now I really want to focus on the Moon, because after researching certain things, I feel it reps the subconcious programming, and the ways I used to cope with the above issues. I found this online which really sums my emotional side up...

Aries Moon—is impatient with their feelings and emotions. Someone with an Aries moon is quick to become exasperated by their emotions because it's quite daunting to feel everything so deeply. Aries Moon have tendencies to erupt suddenly in anger or to simultaneously attract sexual partners who are emotionally absent. The perception of their mother was that this person was ineffective at meeting their own nurturing needs. The mother of the Aries Moon was unable to nurture herself and this message is translated by the Aries Moon person as, "It's not safe to feel. I'm not in control."

Bingo... I know where I learned, and why. History repeats. But my question pertains to where in my chart does it show my own inner ( im not trying to focus on what my mother father did anymore, I get it years of therapy and I honestly forgive her, its me Im struggling with) I want to focus on my inner response, that has been so subjective when it comes with any HEAVY DARK emotions. I can watch a movie thats sad, or hear a song, and shed tears. But if its heavy, dark, FEAR especially in groups (moon 11th house) Im back to that lil boy, again, Trying hard to control any emotional pang I feel in my solar plexus.

I have to be in control, ESPECIALLY in groups places (11th house) is where I feel it most... Cancer Asc... Others are reflection of us, So when I interface with groups, its like I feel it, always what ever it is Im not owning or facing. It seems the only way I have ever been able to deal, is by controlling it, it's not safe. Rush quick, ram head it -get safe. How do I feed this aspect so its not controlling soo much? Working out etc, doesnt seem to cut it. I work out daily.

If I cannot control it, (forms of nurturing by eating something, working out, projecting it on someone else, blaming, anything that keeps it away from me) Deflection, or burying it....then after I erupt, by myself, in the privacy of my home, I feel guilty, depressed, lost, like should I have just expressed that, that way? Did I harm myself by going there and allowing it to come out. (despite all the things about just letting it out)

I have read Aries in Moon in soul astrology is about reorienting the emotions so they can be used for something higher, controling them in a different way.

It's hard for me to even admit Im scared. But I am --- of these heavy dark emotions, that stand guarded by this aspect of myself, and this shell to protect me from this emotional nature (cancer asc)

So I have researched Moon in Aries (eyes hurt) but I need help with the aspects when it pertains to the emotional nature, where my resistance to changing this habitual response is (hard aspects), where the easiest way? I have a very lopsided chart, with my Moon standing in the 11th...

I have done so many healing things, about accessing this part, but I keep approaching it in the same habitual way... First step is 2 admit IM SCARED, AND IM AFRAID, of the pain that lies in the soft center of this shell.

Thats the confusing part. So any help ladies, This guy would really appreciate it.

posted November 12, 2011 06:57 AM            

I am a newby to reading charts for others, so it might not be very good. So please bear with me and your feedback will be of great help to my learning.

I am posting the chart that I'd like to use for the interpretation. It has a few more lines than yours, so you can see the patterns I will mention more clearly

posted November 12, 2011 07:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Davy333:
...
Aries Moon—is impatient with their feelings and emotions. Someone with an Aries moon is quick to become exasperated by their emotions because it's quite daunting to feel everything so deeply. Aries Moon have tendencies to erupt suddenly in anger or to simultaneously attract sexual partners who are emotionally absent. The perception of their mother was that this person was ineffective at meeting their own nurturing needs. The mother of the Aries Moon was unable to nurture herself and this message is translated by the Aries Moon person as, "It's not safe to feel. I'm not in control." ...

...I want to focus on my inner response, that has been so subjective when it comes with any HEAVY DARK emotions. I can watch a movie thats sad, or hear a song, and shed tears. But if its heavy, dark, FEAR especially in groups (moon 11th house) Im back to that lil boy, again, Trying hard to control any emotional pang I feel in my solar plexus.

I have read Aries in Moon in soul astrology is about reorienting the emotions so they can be used for something higher, controling them in a different way.

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Hi fellow Aries Moon in 11H,

posted November 12, 2011 07:17 AM            

You have Moon Opp Pluto.
However, in itself, it shouldn't be that dark. After all, Arie and Libra are not such emotional signs.

However, as you mentioned yourself, the cancer rising makes you naturally shy and protective in initial contacts. Then your cancer ascendant is enhanced by "Sun conj Uranus" in Scorpio trining it. This probably gives you that deep, emotional and unstable feeling.

Quoting cafeastrology's explanation on the Ascendant: "The Ascendant (or rising sign) is often considered the mask one wears when meeting others. Perhaps it is most aptly thought of as the automatic responses to one's environment. The Ascendant shows our natural defenses and how we cope with day-to-day issues. The energies of the sign and condition of the Ascendant are most overt and obvious to others. The Ascendant shows an individual's first, natural reaction to new people and situations."

So what you think is control, is probably defensive mask that you are hiding behind. True control is proactive and strength. This is the native energy of Aries (cardinal fire). If we can use this energy, we can demo the best aspect of Aries.

posted November 12, 2011 07:43 AM            

Please look at the chart I posted:

Ascendant forms a t-square with your Moon-Pluto opposition. Ascendant is strengthened but the Sun, which might translate to adding stress to the focal point (your public-facing face). Doesn't sound like very pleasant.

If you look on the other side of your Moon-Pluto opposition, do you see that nice little triangle with 2 blue lines? Moon and Pluto are joined by a Moon-Mars/Neptune trine and a Mars/Neptune-Pluto/Venus sextile. These are much softer aspects.

So maybe these softer aspects are the means to balance the Moon-Pluto polarity. After all oppositions can be strength when properly balanced. In particular look at what Moon trine Mars, Mars sextile Venus and Mars sextile Pluto mean. I tend to prefer using Mars rather than Neptune because you already have too much water and Neptune is too resonant of your Ascendant, so you might go back to the old Ascendant side while trying to leverage Neptune. In addition, Mars rules Aries to strength your moon, esp the proactive side.

Therefore, my suggestion is be brave. Do not hide. Take action. Make yourself face it heads on.
Maybe try public speaking?

posted November 12, 2011 08:29 AM            

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posted November 12, 2011 11:32 AM            

I will look, some more, Sweetie. Can you dialogue, as that is how I like to do it, so I can learn, as well.

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posted November 12, 2011 11:44 AM            

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posted November 12, 2011 01:02 PM            

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posted November 12, 2011 01:03 PM            

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posted November 12, 2011 01:05 PM            

PS The common ones are listed on the bottom on Astrodients, which is the site that I use, anyway.

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posted November 12, 2011 07:06 PM            

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posted November 12, 2011 07:53 PM            

And your question is Have I had a lot of pain in groups? Yes I have. Rejection, feeling isolated, masking, then trying to be accepted, this ping ponging, of try, recoil, try recoil, same dyamic learned in my family.

And about the whole intense relationship thing, the funny or interesting thing is, I dont get into relationships, that intensity has been going to healing therapies trying to heal these wounds, so I can be a better person to be in a relationship with. so I try something to heal these wounds, I dedicate myself for months, and healing doesnt come so I try something else. If that makes sense.

Anyways heres the chart with the asteroids.

posted November 12, 2011 07:59 PM            

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posted November 12, 2011 08:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Davy333:

I dedicate myself for months, and healing doesnt come so I try something else. If that makes sense.

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Trying to heal yourself (or the yourself you are used to presenting to others) is what I meant by using your Asc to work with Moon-Pluto. Right side is the "self" side (houses 1-3, 10-12), left side is "others" (houses 4-9). Seems like it is pointing to working on the problem with others. Might be very tough to do it yourself.

As for working with others, maybe having a "other" actually at the group situation to support you, rather than offline therapy?

posted November 12, 2011 09:22 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Davy333:
Thanks Yu, I will def take that into consideration. Though when I have done certain healings it has been with others, etc. It's about how I feel about myself, by myself that is the issue Im having

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do it with a fighting (Martian) spirit?

posted November 12, 2011 09:31 PM            

Well, you have a place to start and an explanation for feeling so dark. That is good!
We will continue. I have Saturn conj the ASC and I have had to embrace it. If not, it would push me under the waves. One must embrace one's chart, Baby.

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