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Author Topic:   DADDY ISSUES!
Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 01:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi y'alls!

I was hoping someone could look at my synastry with my dad and tell me what they think. We don't really get along and I don't really think of him so much as a dad anymore. I have a feeling that when my Saturn return rolls around, my relationship with him is going to be an area that comes into focus. Thanks in advance, and I'm open to talking about anything that comes up/answer any questions!

(I'm on the inside of the synastry chart)

EDIT: Dad's birth time is approximate. All my grandmother can say is that it was sometime after midnight

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 22922
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted December 07, 2011 01:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Fondue

------------------
Want a peek in to my journal?


http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 01:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
One thing that sticks out to me is that my Venus/NN/Psyche/Pallas fills in the 4th leg of his Neptune-Moon-Saturn t-square.

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 01:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Hi Fondue


Haaaay gurl!

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anongrl10
Knowflake

Posts: 1944
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 07, 2011 02:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anongrl10     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Can you explain in what way(s) you don't get along? He seems to be present in your life.
Saturn makes contact both ways; our Saturn and child (both rx!) conjunct his psyche and his Saturn conjunct your Jup. Saturn on Jup can be like pouring water over fire. And Saturn on someone's psyche... ouch!

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 02:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
Can you explain in what way(s) you don't get along? He seems to be present in your life.
Saturn makes contact both ways; our Saturn and child (both rx!) conjunct his psyche and his Saturn conjunct your Jup. Saturn on Jup can be like pouring water over fire. And Saturn on someone's psyche... ouch!

I haven't talked to him in months. My parents split up when I was really young and he was always in and out of the picture. He's told me, pretty explicitly, that he wishes I had turned out different. I only hear from him when he needs something and he's pretty focused on his life now with his wife and my half-sister. My (full blood) sister and I feel like the redheaded step-children. I got a text from him on my birthday -- no phone call, no card. When it came to paying for college, he nickle and dimed me. (He is not hurting at all in the money department, despite the economy.) I took out student loans and went to a state school, but I guarantee when my half-sister goes to college he's not going to be stingy. When you try to confront him about anything he yells at you until you back down. You'd get further arguing with a brick wall. It's always felt like I was a nuisance to him. And yet, for some reason at 26 years old, I still find myself seeking his approval and affection.

I could go on

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anongrl10
Knowflake

Posts: 1944
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 07, 2011 02:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anongrl10     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
When you try to confront him about anything he yells at you until you back down. You'd get further arguing with a brick wall. It's always felt like I was a nuisance to him. And yet, for some reason at 26 years old, I still find myself seeking his approval and affection.

Sorry, that's positively horrible.
If you can put up his chart alone, I'd like to see it on its own. Also yours.

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Papa bear: (Again, ASC is estimated. It's somewhere between LAAAAATE Scorpio to early Cappy.)

Moi:

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anongrl10
Knowflake

Posts: 1944
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 07, 2011 03:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anongrl10     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have a suspicion he's early degrees Cappie Sun. But I'll leave the houses outside of the discussions since no TOB.

Since his Sat-Moon-Nept form a T-square and your Jup is there conjunct his Sat, you become part of his t-square.

He also has Venus-Mars opposition. A Venus Aqua opp Mars in Leo. The way he acts is not in harmony with what he likes. Your Pluto squares both his Venus AND Mars. You have him in a pickle, girl**!

The Ceres opposition to the Sun highlights a similar contradiction. This guy seems at odds with his tender side.

Remember his t-square and how you conjunct his Sat with your Jup? Well, your Jup is part of YOUR t-square between Jup-Sat/Child-NN.

It seems the problems are karmic.

**I call everyone a "girl", no offense! As a Knight, you are probably a male, but I wouldn't really know.

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 03:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bwahahaha, I call everyone girl too. #gayboyproblems

So, since I'm a part of his t-square, and my Venus conjunct all that mess is opposite the apex of his t-square, coming to a resolution with him is probably going to pay off the karma, and if I just write him off completely I'll just create more karma for myself in my next life? Or am I grasping at straws?

I think a big part of his problem is that he lost his father when he was a young kid, so he doesn't really have a good example of things fathers should do. And when I was growing up he was too busy drinking and sleeping with bimbos to really act like a father... so we're both coming from a place where we didn't have a strong father figure growing up.

I definitely challenge him because he's very conservative and very religious. He'd be happy as a pig in sh1t if things were like they were on TV in the 1950s. Meanwhile, I'm gay, have no use for the gender roles imposed on us by society and strongly dislike organized religion. I'm pretty much the antithesis of everything he stands for.

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anongrl10
Knowflake

Posts: 1944
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 07, 2011 03:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anongrl10     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wouldn't say that not resolving it would create more karma for you. The notion of karma is not all that concrete and no need to indulge in negative talk. (IOW, I'm a Sag Sun, I never deliver bad news. Period. )

His conservatism is only part of who he is. He refuses to recognize his soft side. All these oppositions and squares make for a scary need to control things. Fixed ideas are more easily controllable.

And then there's you and your being gay has him in knots. I think it's karmic for you to be different. And it's karmic for him to reject you. If you know what I mean. Do not fight it. Accept it.

As for the excuse that he had no father figure himself, if I had a penny for every time I heard that as a "reason" for fathers being abusive... (Yeah, I'm in very similar shoes with my dad. Can you tell? lol)

Seriously, the only thing you can do is be you. The best revenge is living well. You might never resolve it because for all the willingness and openmindedness you have, it takes two to tango and he can hardly waltz.

hugzzz
Anongrl10

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Anongrl, you made me feel better about the whole situation.

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anongrl10
Knowflake

Posts: 1944
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011

posted December 07, 2011 04:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for anongrl10     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
Thanks Anongrl, you made me feel better about the whole situation.

Most welcome! Keep in touch!

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mintgirl123
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Posts: 1239
From:
Registered: Nov 2009

posted December 07, 2011 06:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is the story of my life.
I have big issues with my father too.

I have moon square chiron and venus square chiron by 1 degree in the natal and it really captures the essence of the impact my family issues have caused me lol.

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yuting
Knowflake

Posts: 345
From: Hong Kong
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 07, 2011 10:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yuting     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
Thanks Anongrl, you made me feel better about the whole situation.

I also notice a Sun-Ven double whammy. Your Ven sextile his Sun and his inconj your Sun. I read this as both of you actually love each other.

But the inconj can also indicate he does not know how to express the love in a way receptive to you.

I think why you are asking your question is because you really love him and hope you can do sth to improve it.

His ceres also conj your moon, so I think he does feel tenderness towards you deep down. But his sun sq your AC, his Sat on you and your Plu on him make the expression doubly hard.

I am actually thinking as you grow older, your relationship can improve, when you can relate with him on a more intellectual level (like 2 adults) than at emotional level (parent-child). Cos you two have Sun-Mer trine double whammy, so you two are in synch when addressing objective, logical matters. His Ven & Mar are both supportive of your MC (career) which is also Venusian in nature (in Libra). His Sun is also sextiling your venusian NN. His Pallas conj your Mars, so in terms of work etc, his advice can help drive your forward.
And once you two are able to interact in that way, his Pallas sextiling your moon might also mean his advice/insight could support you in future emotional situation (esp those not involving him, as Pallas is objective)

Hope this gives you more comfort and helps you work out a better way to interact with your dad.

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yuting
Knowflake

Posts: 345
From: Hong Kong
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 07, 2011 11:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for yuting     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just one more note. If your dad's house placement is right for his Saturn, then Saturn in 2H would mean he is naturally careful with his money. And your Jup conjuncting it...well he prolly thinks you too extravagant.

But if he can be supportive of your career (not doling out $ per se) and you have lucky jup in 2H, then that's good too.

Btw, just curious. You have Libra MC, Taurus Venus conj NN and strong 7H. Are you planning to pursue arts as a career?

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yuting:
Btw, just curious. You have Libra MC, Taurus Venus conj NN and strong 7H. Are you planning to pursue arts as a career?

I'm drawn to the arts, but for a career... my Cancer placements screw me over. I want the stability and security that comes with a steady paycheck. If I was going to pursue a type of art it'd probably be performance based, and I so don't wanna be that actor who waits tables for the rest of his life waiting for his big break. I'm also really big on creative writing, so my plan for myself (for the moment, before Uranus changes its mind) is to go into teaching. I can be creative in the classroom and spend my summers off doing artsy fartsy writing/painting/performing things. I read something somewhere regarding some aspect to my MC (probably Sun sq MC) that I'm not going to live to work. Work is kind of a means to an end, and I'm okay with that.

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yuting:
Just one more note. If your dad's house placement is right for his Saturn, then Saturn in 2H would mean he is naturally careful with his money. And your Jup conjuncting it...well he prolly thinks you too extravagant.

To say he's careful with money would be a gross understatement. And it's not really that I'm extravagant with money, I just don't like it. I don't look at life and think, "How can I make as much money as possible before I die?" As long as I've got the basics covered, I'll be happy. On those lines, if I had to work for a corporation spending my days making money for the man... I think I'd rather die.

And I have a hunch that he's a Sag rising. Not only the Saturn business, but we look like clones. (Although I'm about 5" shorter. And my head isn't as big. )

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 07, 2011 11:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yuting:
I also notice a Sun-Ven double whammy. Your Ven sextile his Sun and his inconj your Sun. I read this as both of you actually love each other.

But the inconj can also indicate he does not know how to express the love in a way receptive to you.

I think why you are asking your question is because you really love him and hope you can do sth to improve it.

His ceres also conj your moon, so I think he does feel tenderness towards you deep down. But his sun sq your AC, his Sat on you and your Plu on him make the expression doubly hard.

I am actually thinking as you grow older, your relationship can improve, when you can relate with him on a more intellectual level (like 2 adults) than at emotional level (parent-child). Cos you two have Sun-Mer trine double whammy, so you two are in synch when addressing objective, logical matters. His Ven & Mar are both supportive of your MC (career) which is also Venusian in nature (in Libra). His Sun is also sextiling your venusian NN. His Pallas conj your Mars, so in terms of work etc, his advice can help drive your forward.
And once you two are able to interact in that way, his Pallas sextiling your moon might also mean his advice/insight could support you in future emotional situation (esp those not involving him, as Pallas is objective)

Hope this gives you more comfort and helps you work out a better way to interact with your dad.


Honestly, the Cancer in me doesn't want to give up on family, but he's given me little indication that he wants any relationship with me. If he can't figure out how to express himself, after I've opened up to him and told him how the things he does make me feel... to keep on doing what he's been doing my whole life? I can't deal with that. Words don't mean much to me without action. As far as I'm concerned, I tried. I haven't heard from him in about 5 months. The ball's in his court.

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yuting
Knowflake

Posts: 345
From: Hong Kong
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 08, 2011 12:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for yuting     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Fondue Knight:
Honestly, the Cancer in me doesn't want to give up on family, but he's given me little indication that he wants any relationship with me. If he can't figure out how to express himself, after I've opened up to him and told him how the things he does make me feel... to keep on doing what he's been doing my whole life? I can't deal with that. Words don't mean much to me without action. As far as I'm concerned, I tried. I haven't heard from him in about 5 months. The ball's in his court.

When we look at synastry, there are certain easier/tougher stuff that we cannot change. What we could do is to pick/find ways for better interaction. Obviously, the touchy feely type of interaction would not come easy to him. And you cannot expect them to change. The only person you have control over making change and growing is yourself. So if you really want to try, would make sense to try a new approach (eg exploring the intellectual interaction with him). If you are sticking to the old mode, hard to expect miracles (cos that is not the natural energy flow between you two)

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Fondue Knight
Knowflake

Posts: 117
From: NY
Registered: Nov 2011

posted December 08, 2011 12:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fondue Knight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by yuting:
When we look at synastry, there are certain easier/tougher stuff that we cannot change. What we could do is to pick/find ways for better interaction. Obviously, the touchy feely type of interaction would not come easy to him. And you cannot expect them to change. The only person you have control over making change and growing is yourself. So if you really want to try, would make sense to try a new approach (eg exploring the intellectual interaction with him). If you are sticking to the old mode, hard to expect miracles (cos that is not the natural energy flow between you two)


Yeah I understand. I don't think I'm at that point yet, though. Somewhere down the line I might change my mind, but I think the wounds are still too fresh right now.

Thanks for your insights!

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