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Author
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Topic: Friendship synastry (need help)
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Dawnlies
Knowflake Posts: 71
From: France
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 26, 2012 08:41 AM
  
Hello everyone!I'd like to know your opinion on this synastry please. This is me and my best friend. At the moment she is really having a bad time and it is stressing me. What I would like to know, if it is possible, is what can I do for her, how can I reach her to help? We are very close but with the bad things happening and impending to happen to her she as become more closed that she already is...
She doesn't want to talk to her boyfriend about that (she told me and him too, each one in a separate conversation), sometimes she starts to speak to me but she eludes lots of things (I think there is something she doesn't dare to tell me about how she feels about me...). And yesterday she told me that she was thinking about going away somewhere, forgetting everyone and everything, and never come back... So I am very worried now  I'm guessing she's sending me signals for me to do something but I don't know what?!? I told her I'm there for her, she can phone me anytime, she can come to my house anytime (I even gave her my keys...), I keep contacting her at least once everyday and she told me it's reassuring her. So in your opinion, how can I reach her? How can I relate to her? How can I make her open to me? So here's our synastry (I'm inside):  Thanks in advance!! edited : bigger chart IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 27051
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted January 26, 2012 08:44 AM
Hello Sweetie
How are you?------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
Dawnlies
Knowflake Posts: 71
From: France
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 26, 2012 09:34 AM
I am ok Ami thanks 
But I must say very worried...
And you?IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3902
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 26, 2012 09:43 AM
What do you mean by "she doesn't dare to tell me about how she feels about me.."? Are you a male? Is there a chance of a romantic interest between you two?Have you ever seen any bruises or weird cuts on her? What exactly is she saying to you when you are asking her What Is Going On? Can you post her natal+transits separately? Also pls enlarge the previous? IP: Logged |
Dawnlies
Knowflake Posts: 71
From: France
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 26, 2012 10:10 AM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
What do you mean by "she doesn't dare to tell me about how she feels about me.."? Are you a male? Is there a chance of a romantic interest between you two?
No I'm a female. But sometimes I have this weird feeling that she doesn't tell me everything she thinks about me and when I try to speak with her about it, she always changes the subject. quote:
Have you ever seen any bruises or weird cuts on her? What exactly is she saying to you when you are asking her What Is Going On?Can you post her natal+transits separately? Also pls enlarge the previous?
No I haven't seen any bruises or cuts on her but she always wear long sleeves and pants, but I don't think she's hurting herself. Well, her grand-parents are dying, she doesn't know her father and her mother died a long time ago. She lives with her boyfriend but she says she wants to quit the relationship because she doesn't love him.
She can't take care of herself financially at the moment because she's going through a "vocational crisis", she's a dancer and she missed her exam to become a dance teacher 2 times so she's thinking she isn't worth it and is beginning to let her dream go away but she doesn't know what else to do so she's unemployed at the moment.
So then she tells me that she's going to be all alone soon and it's scaring her. And even when I tell her she's not alone, she answers that she can't help but feeling that way anyway. Here's her chart with transits : 
IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3902
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 26, 2012 11:02 AM
Sorry for being a pest, but this is still vague: "she doesn't tell me everything she thinks about me"
What's the issue here?
You seem to be hiding something or definitely you are expecting her to admit or say something. Please know that she GETS IT, especially if a complete stranger like me here gets it that something is going on (and I have no clue what that is).
I'm saying: be open with your friend.
Since you are concerned about her, be 100% open with her. This will help her feel 100% close to you and as a result she will open up to you. The way you are handling it now it seems like she is "closed off" because you are not open with her either. And she seems scared to lose the last two people she has in her world (you and her bf) although she may well know that she must lose at least the bf.
Losing people in your life when you have no family to begin with can be very scary and demoralizing.
She's approaching her Saturn return. This Jup - Sat opposition in her 4th-10th axis highlights the career and home/family/security issues she is feeling.
Saturn opposes her Sun too. It can be a recipe for depression.
If I were you, I would help her build strong foundations by not relying on anyone -not to the soon to be ex bf nor to you. Just help her find a place where she feels secure and loved. Perhaps a Women's center/shelter can help? Any place for people with no families or homes? She's in her late 20s right?
Again, to answer your way of how to reach her emotionally: the way to approach her is by being 100% open to her. If you feel that she's not telling you something, tell her what you think she needs to tell you. Be 100% open with her and she will open up. I promise you.
The goal here is to help her. Right?
Then start looking for places for her to live and find ANY job soon. She shouldn't cling on her bf when she knows the relationship is not working. She is probably trapped and only tolerate him because she has nowhere else to go. Be her help in building her autonomy.
My two cents.
Good luck! IP: Logged |
Dawnlies
Knowflake Posts: 71
From: France
Registered: May 2011
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posted January 26, 2012 11:51 AM
Thank you anongrl.
You're not a pest, I understand what you mean, but I assure you I have nothing to hide, it's just that it's hard for me to tell my feelings. I love my friend and I deeply care about her and I admit I never told her that, maybe I should. I thought that maybe if I showed her with my actions she would get it, I know she did but maybe she needs to hear it, I guess, especially now. Actually I'm scared that she thinks that I don't care about her enough, that's what I meant when I said that she doesn't tell me what she thinks about me, maybe am I projecting my own insecurities?
I'll see her tomorrow and talk to her about that and tell her my feelings and that she won't lose me. It may be the first step for her to feel secure enough to open up to me. I hope.
Yes she's in her last twenties, she's 27.
There's a youth shelter in our city, I'll talk to her about that and gather informations there.
About jobs I'll help her choose what she would like and can do and above all stay motivated to find something, anything.
And about her bf you're right, she's trapped, that's exactly what she told me.
She needs to find a place to stay and start again feeling secure. That's the first step.Well thank you again! I loved your honesty, made me seriously think...Thanks. ps : I just remembered that about a week ago she told me that sometimes hearing someone says they love you feels good, I didn't understand... Well, I'm going to call her tonight. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 3902
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted January 26, 2012 12:28 PM
I'm so happy with your response! I thought I might have come across a bit harsh. I am passionate about what I write. I don't respond to everyone; only if something makes my heart melt, u know?
Yes, please call her and talk to her ASAP. You are such a wonderful friend. Hugs! Keeps us posted if you like. Good luck!IP: Logged |
SaggiMC
Knowflake Posts: 670
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 26, 2012 12:59 PM
Basic astrology forum, How to approach Synastry http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum12/private-jjLYZw161/HTML/000667.html ------------------
I love the parable, “If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, BUT if you teach him how to fish, you feed him for life.” IP: Logged |
Dawnlies
Knowflake Posts: 71
From: France
Registered: May 2011
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posted February 02, 2012 08:29 AM
@ anongrl
I wanted to give you some news about the situation since you helped me think it through.So I called my friend last thursday evening but I couldn't reach her so I left a message saying I needed to talk to her ASAP. She called back on friday morning and we met and discussed mostly about my feelings, I told her what I wrote up there ^. She was very moved and told me the feelings were shared. We didn't discuss anything else that day because I think she needed time.
On monday she had a bad fight with her bf, so we didn't see each other and she couldn't phone or text.
Then I saw her tuesday evening and tried to make her talk about what happened the day before but she would not. I was feeling sick so I didn't push.
I didn't see her since then cause I've got the flu and am contagious I'm stuck at home.
But I called her yesterday initially to talk about my health 'cause she was worried, at a moment she said something that caught my attention so I asked THE question "What's going on?". It took time but she told me she thought she was depressed, that she had to make decisions she was scared to make but that it was nessecary for her life to be better. She told me exactly like that so of course I tried to make her talk more so I asked her what were those decisions, what did she want to do precisely. She responded she didn't want to talk about it now, especially on the phone, that it was not my fault but hers, that I was a perfect friend but she didn't want to upset me with her problems... I told her then that anyway I would be upset either she told me or not because I would be worried about her, as I am now because it's what friends do. She then promised me that as soon as I am better we will have a serious talk. So probably this week end or monday. Also I may have found her a job in a local optic store today, I called the owner and everything is ok as long as they go well together, so this evening when she will call me I'll give her all the infos and let her make an appointment with him. I hope it will work! The youth shelter was not as great as it sounded, the rent is still too much for her to take. So I'm searching for something else. I must say I'm not very satisfied about how the events unfolded and I'm still very worried, but I also think it's good that she's beginning to open up to me even just a little, I guess she needs time. And I also think that if I hadn't had that stupid flu it would have been better, grr. Anyway, do you think there's anything else I could do besides continuing telling her I'm there? edit : well I am very worried about what she told me on the phone about the part when she said that it wasn't my fault but hers. I have a really bad feeling about it, I'm going to talk to her about it this evening but still, do you think I have reasons to be worried about that? IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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